


The Worst Members of the Resistance

by Kittens



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abuse, Abuse between kylo and hux, Adoption, Armitage Hux Redemption, Blood, Burns, Character Death, Child Abuse, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dismemberment, Enemies to Lovers, Fix-It, Holding Hands, Kylo Ren Redemption, M/M, Minor Poe Dameron/Finn/Rey, Past Abuse, Sharing a Bed, TRoS Spoilers, Torture, Violence, a hint of gingerpilot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:07:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 117,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21883486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittens/pseuds/Kittens
Summary: Armitage Hux betrays the First Order to ensure that Kylo Ren loses. Everything is going perfectly fine with that plan until Kylo shows up on the Resistance base. Can't he ever just let Hux win?
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 414
Kudos: 757





	1. Chapter 1

“Shoot me in the arm,” Hux ordered.

“Why?” Finn asked. Typical. Questioning orders. He should expect nothing less from the stormtrooper.

“So it looks like I tried to stop you.” He shouldn’t even have to explain it. Finn started to raise his blaster and Hux prepared for the pain of being shot. But Dameron put his hand on top of the blaster, pushing it back down towards the floor.

“Wait,” Dameron said. “I got a better idea. Why don’t you come with us?”

“If I go with you, I can’t provide further information,” Hux said. “Now hurry and shoot me before we’re caught.”

“Nah,” Dameron said. “You’d still be plenty useful. You know more about the Order than anyone else. Besides, you can’t send new information if you’re dead.”

“I am a general of the First Order. They’re not going to kill me.” At least, that might have been true at one point. With Ren obsessing over Palpatine and putting Pryde in charge, Hux wan’t entirely confident.

“After letting some high value targets escape?” Finn shook his head. “Obviously you’re not in charge or you wouldn’t be helping us. Whoever your superior is won’t care. They just might kill you.”

“It’s not a risk we want to take, Hugs,” Dameron said. He grabbed him by the arm. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

“Let go of me, you rebel scum!” Hux spat as he very weakly tried to push him off. But really, he knew it was for the best. Pryde was only looking for an excuse to get rid of him. It was for the best he went with the Resistance. He’d thought about going to them before, but he hadn’t thought they’d take him. Looked like they would now.

He was taken on board the piece of junk they called a ship and as they took off, it made a sound that made Hux wonder if it was really capable of flight. He followed Dameron and the Wookie to the cockpit and expected that they would take off and immediately make the jump to lightspeed, but instead, they were flying around the ship.

“What are you doing?” Hux asked.

The Wookie growled something, but Hux had no idea what he said. Fortunately, Dameron did. Or maybe he was just answering on his own. “We gotta pick up Rey,” he said. “We’re not leaving without her!”

“The scavenger girl?” He’d heard Ren talk about her often enough. He wanted to suggest leaving her and maybe she’d take care of Ren, but he knew the Resistance would never agree to it. Instead, they were going to waste time to pick someone up who could surely make her way out on her own.

At least it didn’t take long and soon they were in lightspeed. Rey and Finn joined them in the cockpit. The girl looked at him and frowned.

“What’s he doing here?” she asked.

“He’s the mole,” Finn said. “We’re taking him with us.”

“We need to go to Endor. He can’t come with us.”

“Yeah, we’re not taking him,” Dameron said. “We’re dropping him off at base first. I know, I know. We need to hurry, but I’m not traveling with him any longer than I have to.”

Fortunately there was no argument. Hux also didn’t want to be with them longer than he had to. Of course, it occurred to him that he might never escape them. He doubted they’d let him walk away but maybe they would let their guard down and he could escape. Spending the rest of his life with the Resistance was a fate worse than death.

At least he knew that he was doing all he could to bring Kylo Ren down.

***

Kylo had no idea how he was going to get off the Death Star wreckage. Rey had taken his ship. The Falcon had already left the planet. He was all alone with no way off. He could probably use the Force to carry himself over the water, but the effort really didn’t seem worth it. He didn’t want to go back to the First Order. He didn’t care about Palpatine. He wanted to be done with it all.

And he was. He’d thrown his lightsaber away. He was done being the Supreme Leader, Master of the Knights of Ren. Who he was, he didn’t know. Maybe he’d figure it out while he wasted away on the wreckage of the Death Star. His grandfather had died there. Kylo could accept that he would too.

He didn’t know how long he spent inside the wreckage. If he was going to die, he didn’t want to do it cold and wet. He knew at least one day had passed. Possibly two or three. He didn’t think it mattered. But he heard the sound of a ship. One he knew all too well.

When he went outside, he couldn’t believe his eyes. Maybe it was another hallucination. Maybe he’d been there longer than he thought and he was losing his mind. The ramp was lowering. Maybe he’d walk onto it and simply fall into the ocean. It really wasn’t any worse than standing there in the rain so he started walking towards the _Falcon_.

When he found solid ground under his feet as he went up the ramp and then found himself inside the ship, he wasn’t sure what was happening. Was it that powerful of a hallucination? Was he already dead, doomed to spend an eternity on a painful reminder of his family?

“Hey, there, little starfighter!”

He must have been dead. He hadn’t seen Lando in years. He had no reason to hallucinate him, and he looked much older than when Kylo had last seen him. There was a familiar growl coming from the cockpit, Chewbacca asking Lando if they had him. Chewie was asking about him.

“You okay there?” Lando asked.

“What’s going on?” Kylo asked.

“We came to find you. Rey said you might need help since she took your ship. Glad we found you. Now let’s get you home.”

Kylo went to the cockpit with Lando and sat down behind Chewie. It felt awkward being back on the ship but Kylo still wasn’t entirely sure it was all real. Even after they jumped to lightspeed and Lando started telling him what had happened with Rey defeating Palpatine and the destruction of the Sith fleet.

“What about…” Kylo wanted to ask about the First Order. But he realized he really didn’t care. He no longer wanted anything to do with them. And hopefully he’d never see anyone from that life again. He was finally free.

Although he knew he couldn’t stay with the Resistance, he was looking forward to being somewhere that wasn’t First Order. A place where he didn’t have to be anyone. He just had to be Kylo. And he wanted to see Rey. Thank her for saving him and defeating Palpatine. He knew she might not want to see him, but he couldn’t help but think maybe they could be friends someday.

When they made it back to the Resistance base - on a jungle planet - Kylo got off the _Falcon_ and walked around the base, immediately struck with the realization that he did not belong. He saw Rey. She was with Dameron and Finn and she was happy. She wouldn’t even want to talk to him. He turned back around, wanting to get back on the ship and ask to be taken to any other planet.

“Everyone’s out there,” Lando said, coming down the ramp.

“I know.”

“Let’s get you over to the general.”

“General?” Kylo knew his mother was dead. He felt her passing in the Force. But of course, the Resistance must have decided upon a new leader. Why they would want to talk to him, Kylo didn’t know. To his surprise, Lando led him over towards Rey.

“Got something for you, General,” Lando called. Unfortunately, he brought everyone else’s attention to him as well, and people seemed to immediately recognize who he was. They started to move away, trying to stay as far from him as possible.

“I thought Rey was joking,” Dameron said, glancing between Kylo and Rey. “You really picked up Kylo Ren?”

“Ben,” Rey said.

“It doesn’t matter,” Kylo said. “Kylo. Ben. It’s all the same.”

“Okay then, Kylo Ben,” Dameron said. “We’ll get you set up with quarters and a change of clothes and then I guess we should talk.”

“Wait. You’re the general?” Kylo just put the facts together. 

“Finn too,” Dameron said, getting up from where he was sitting. “Now come on. Let’s get you settled in.”

“I can’t stay here.” It wasn’t where he belonged. He didn’t know where he did, but he would find that out. But he needed to do it alone. He still found himself following Dameron anyway.

“Nonsense. We’re not letting Kylo Ren loose in the galaxy. Even if Rey insists you’re not as bad as you used to be. Plus, I’m sure you can help us take out what remains of the First Order. You’re the highest ranking defector we’ve had.”

“Just a bit above your stormtroopers.” They made it to the inside of the base and Dameron led him down a corridor.

“We’ve had higher than that.”

“Like what?” 

“What are you doing here?”

Kylo spun around, never having expected to hear that voice again. He knew it well, but even so, he hadn’t quite expected to see General Armitage Hux standing on a Resistance base and he wasn’t even in binders.

“We’ve had a general,” Poe muttered.”

“You defected?” Kylo asked. Of course, then it all made sense. “You were the mole.”

“You can’t kill me now.”

“Wasn’t going to. I’m glad you did.”

“Don’t tell me. You defected too?”

“I guess.” Kylo shrugged, not quite sure if that’s what he’d done. He hadn’t wanted to join the Resistance. He just wanted to be done fighting.

“You would, you worthless idiot!” Hux shouted. “I did everything I could to bring you down and get you out of the Order. My life’s work! And you just decide to come here and ruin all that! Fuck you Ren!”

Hux stormed off and Kylo wasn’t sure what to think. He hadn’t wanted to see anyone from his past. But if it had to be someone, he was glad it was Hux. There were times he’d enjoyed their rivalry and he was often the only person he could talk to. Not that it happened often. But Hux had been the closest thing he’d had to a friend.

He wasn’t even upset that Hux had been plotting against him - he’d always known he would. It was even funny, Kylo thought, that somehow, they still ended up together. Almost as if it was the will of the Force keeping them together. Hux would hate that idea.

“Here you go,” Dameron said, dropping a pile of clothes into his arms. “I’ll take you to your quarters and then we’ll talk.”

Dameron led him down another corridor to a door. Inside, there was a bunk, a table, two chairs and a door in the back. Kylo couldn’t help but notice that it appeared someone already lived there and he pointed that out to Dameron.

“Well, yeah,” he said. “We don’t exactly have a surplus of space here. You have a roommate. If you don’t get along, we’ll see if we can make a change.”

Kylo didn’t care but he didn’t think anyone would want to room with him. Maybe they’d request a transfer and Kylo could have the room to himself. He didn’t think it would take long since he knew no one would like him.

He put on his new clothes, which didn’t fit as well, but were good enough. He didn’t know if Dameron wanted to talk immediately, but he hoped not. He hadn’t had much to eat while stranded on the Death Star and he hoped he could get some food.

As soon as he stepped outside, he saw that Dameron was waiting for him. And his droid was with him too. BB-8. The droid that had caused him so much trouble the year before. He couldn’t help himself and he kicked the droid. BB-8 rolled back in surprise and Dameron put himself between Kylo and BB-8.

“What are you doing? You can’t just kick BB like that!”

“I don’t like him.” He didn’t make any move to try to kick the droid again and Dameron relaxed a little. “Do you have food around here?”

“Uh, yeah. I’ll show you around.”

Dameron led him to the mess hall and Kylo immediately went to grab some food. He was starving. He sat down at an empty table and started eating. Dameron joined him, sitting across the table from him.

“So you really going to eat all that?” Dameron asked.

“Yes,” Kylo muttered, continuing to eat as fast as possible.

“So we can definitely use your help,” Dameron said. “Rey’s a Jedi now, but I’m sure she could use help. Finn’s going to start training, and she’ll be looking for more students. If you want to help train -”

“Not a Jedi,” Kylo interrupted. He had been at one point, but he couldn’t go back to that. He wasn’t with the First Order, but it didn’t mean that he wanted to go back to being a Jedi. “I can’t help her with that.”

“Okay,” Dameron continued. “The other thing we could really use your help with is tracking and taking out the remains of the First Order. I’m sure you know plenty of things that could help us. But… you’d have to work with Armitage.”

“Armitage?” It was strange hearing Hux be referred to by his first name. It was so rare to hear. Kylo had heard a few old Imperials use it before but it had sounded just as out of place then.

“That’s his name, isn’t it? What? Did you just call him General?”

“Usually.”

“Right. So anyway, if you’re not interested in that, we need people who can fly and help maintain the ships and the base. I know you can fly, but we can train you on that other stuff if needed.”

“I’ll work with Armitage,” Kylo said.

“You will?” Dameron looked surprised. “Great. We need that more. You’ll still have some chances to fly, I’m sure. But well, Armitage is sort of heading up the group that’s trying to take out the First Order. You’d actually be working for him.”

That made Kylo think. He wouldn’t mind working with Hux. It would be just like their time before he killed Snoke. Back when they were co-commanders. Kylo missed those days. How simple everything had seemed. Given his mistakes when he took over as Supreme Leader, Kylo could only imagine Hux would want to repay him if he was in charge.

“I can’t be in charge?”

“Afraid not. He’s been here longer and proved himself to be a useful member of the Resistance. We’re not going to take what he’s earned from him just because you showed up.”

“What if I don’t want to do any of it?”

“I’m sure we can find you a nice prison cell.”

“It wouldn’t hold me.”

“But Rey would track you down. You really want to do that to your sister?”

“Sister?” That was a new one. Rey couldn’t possibly be his sister. Leia hadn’t had a second child. He would have remembered.

“Leia adopted her, you know. Rey Skywalker is her name now. But you know. She’s your sister. And you’d make her waste her time hunting you down just because you refuse to cooperate and act like a decent human being?”

“I’m not decent.”

“That’s why I said act. So what’s it going to be?”

“I’ll work with Hux,” he muttered. It’d be better than trying to train Jedi and he didn’t want to join the ranks of the Resistance scrubbing floors. And if he hated it, maybe he’d be allowed to switch jobs. Or he’d just steal a ship.

“Great. Once you’re finished here, I’ll take you over to where he works. I’m guessing he won’t be happy about it.”

“No.”

Kylo was right. When Dameron took him to Hux, he had immediately protested and told Kylo to get out. It wasn’t until Dameron mentioned that Kylo would be working _for_ Hux that he actually listened. 

“He’d better do everything I tell him to do,” Hux said.

“Within reason,” Dameron said.

“No. Everything.”

“Uh, I don’t know about that.”

“It’s fine,” Kylo said. 

“He can’t tell you to do anything that doesn’t have anything to do with your job,” Dameron said. “But you know what? As long as you get results, I don’t really care what goes on between you two.”

Dameron left and Kylo and Hux were alone. Kylo had no idea what he was supposed to be doing. Hux looked like he always had - busy reading datapads with his hair slicked back. He was wearing short sleeves and no gloves, which was a change for him. Kylo had never seen that much of Hux exposed.

“It really wasn’t enough for you to show up on the same planet as me,” Hux said, glancing up at him. “You just had to get yourself assigned to work with me too. Haven’t you ruined my life enough Ren?”

“I don’t want to work with them.”

“And you’ll do whatever I say?” Hux asked. Kylo shrugged. He knew he wouldn’t, but he also had no idea what Hux had in mind. “Well go sit on the floor and don’t speak.”

Kylo thought he would actually be needed for some reason, but he didn’t care. If Hux didn’t want the help, then Kylo had no problem doing nothing. He started to fall into a meditation, so he wouldn’t even notice how much time was passing.

Soon - or maybe it had been hours - he felt something hitting him. His eyes opened and he saw Hux standing over him. He gave him another kick and then walked away. “Time for you to go back to your quarters.”

Kylo stood up and headed for the door. He paused, turning back to Hux. He wanted to say something to him. Tell him that he didn’t hate him, that he liked him at times, that he was sorry. But he didn’t know how to word it. And it wasn’t as if Hux would care. Hux did hate him.

Kylo didn’t like the way that felt. He wished he could make things better.


	2. Chapter 2

Hux couldn’t take dealing with Ren anymore. It had been two days and it was too hard to get any work done while Ren was there. He surprisingly did exactly as Hux asked and sat on the floor and was silent, but Hux hated having him there. He knew what he was capable of without even getting up. 

The only reason he could imagine Ren wanting to work with him was that he was planning to kill him, finish the job that he hadn’t managed before. It was surprising he was waiting so long, but then, nothing Ren did ever made sense. It wouldn’t make a difference in the long run - if Ren wanted to kill him, he would - but he at least didn’t have to spend his remaining days in the presence of the man who would kill him. It wasn’t too much to ask for.

“I want him gone,” he told Dameron. General Dameron, now. Hux couldn’t believe that Poe Dameron was a general. But that just went to show the low standards in the Resistance.

“Yeah, I got your request for a roommate transfer. At this rate, you’ll go through everyone on base. Might have to get you a tent and put you outside.”

“Not that,” Hux said. “Ren. He’s a nuisance and I need him far away from me.”

“I thought he agreed to do everything you said? I can have Rey talk to him if -”

“No! That’s not the issue. I just need him gone.”

“I’m afraid I’m gonna need more than that. He knows almost as much as you do about the First Order. He’s too valuable for me to pull from that work just because you don’t like him. Have you even given him a chance?”

“He’s Kylo Ren.”

“I know. And we’re giving him a chance. Is this just because the two of you hated each other in the First Order? Things are different here. You don’t have to carry on the way you used to.”

“Have you told that to him?”

“Is he the one causing a problem or is it your problem?”

“You’re useless, Dameron!” Hux yelled as he turned and walked away. He never should have expected him to be helpful.

“Armitage!” Dameron called, but Hux didn’t stop. “You’ll get a new roommate by tonight!”

At least he would resolve that problem. Not that it mattered. Hux had gone through several roommates already during his time with the Resistance. He couldn’t stand living with any of them. The longest things had ever worked out for had been about four hours. Within a day, Hux would request a new roommate. Sometimes it took a while, but it was never more than a few days before Hux was living with someone completely different.

It wasn’t his fault. He just expected a level of cleanliness and silence. It really wasn’t asking for much. He just didn’t want to walk into a complete mess or live with someone who was always stomping around and talking to themselves. Or worse, rooming with someone who wanted to talk nonstop about the First Order. He absolutely was not going to talk about anything in his past. Not if he could help it.

He'd told Dameron exactly what he required in a roommate, yet he hadn't bothered to find someone who would be a good match. Instead, he seemed to just be assigning people at random.

Maybe he'd finally get it right. That was unlikely, but it was something to worry about later.

He went into what was basically a large closet but set up like an office. Most other Resistance personnel worked in the open, surrounded by others. Hux had demanded privacy. Not that he needed it. He just didn't like being around any of the others. And now they had stuck him with Ren.

Of course he was already there, standing around being as useless as ever. And he was in his way. It wasn’t a large space and Hux couldn’t get to his desk without squeezing by him. He glared at him, hoping he would step back.

“Here.” Kylo held a cup out to him. Hux frowned at it.

“What is that?”

“Tea. You like tea, don’t you?”

“Do you really think I’m stupid enough to drink this? You poisoned it, didn’t you?”

“Why would I poison you? Hux, if I wanted to kill you, I’d have done it. And not with poison. That’s your style.”

“So you just brought me tea for no reason? Why would you do that?”

“I’m being nice?”

Hux scoffed at that ridiculous idea. “You’ve never been nice a day in your life.” He slapped the cup out of Ren’s hands. “Clean that mess up.”

Ren looked at him for a few moments and then walked out the door. At least he was gone. Hopefully forever.

***

Kylo couldn’t believe he had tried being nice to that insufferable prick. He should have known Hux would react that way. That was perfectly fine with Kylo. He hadn’t actually wanted to be friends with him anyway. He’d just wanted… he didn’t even know. But he didn’t need or want anything from Hux.

He wasn’t going to go back to that office. Possibly not ever. He doubted Hux would report his absence and no one else would notice him wandering around. People seemed to go out of their way to avoid him. No one paid attention to what he did. It really wouldn’t be too hard for the Resistance to just forget about him. He could still steal a ship and run off at some point too.

He was looking at all the ships, wondering which would be the best to take. He almost wanted the _Falcon_ , but it was old and required too much maintenance. And he didn’t need the constant reminder of his father. He was good at flying starfighters, but the A-Wings had cramped cockpits. He wouldn’t be comfortable. Which meant an X-Wing was the best choice.

“What are you doing out here?” 

Kylo turned around and saw Finn and Rey behind him. Almost the last people he wanted to see. But then, that applied to everyone in the Resistance. He turned around again, not wanting to look at them.

“Am I not allowed outside?” 

“Aren’t you supposed to be helping Armitage find the First Order?” Finn asked.

“I’m doing as much out here than I am in there.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Finn asked.

“Why don’t you go ask _Armitage._ ”

“Rey, can you please make your brother less difficult?”

“Should have left him on the Death Star,” Rey said. She kicked him in the back of the leg. Or at least, he assumed it was her. In the two days that he’d been there, she’d kicked and punched him many times, claiming that as his sister, she had no choice. 

“You should have.” Then he wouldn’t have to put up with any of them. Especially not Hux. That was the worst part.

“Right,” Finn said. “Well, Poe wanted me to tell you to see him about your new room assignment. Come on, Rey. Let’s go.”

“Bye Ben.” Rey said. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes. She always called him that. He knew he said it didn’t matter, but the more she called him Ben, he realized that he preferred Kylo. He couldn’t forget the things he’d done as Kylo. He didn’t want to. Kylo was who he was. Ben… well, he was Ben too, but the name still made him feel like a teenager.

It wasn’t worth the trouble of asking her to stop. And he hoped she’d eventually leave him alone anyway. She had to have better things to do than bother him. And if not, well, Kylo didn’t really plan on sticking around much longer.

At least he’d have a place to sleep. He’d spent one night with his roommate, who had called him a “cheap knock off of Vader.” Kylo threw him against the wall and left to sleep out in a corridor. And then he discovered that he didn’t even have a room - Dameron had pulled his room assignment and hadn’t yet found him a new one.

He’d spent the last night on a couch, which was the only place that Dameron could find on short notice. Kylo had asked about just sleeping on the _Falcon_ , but Dameron had told him no. He probably suspected that Kylo might steal it. And it was a possibility. As much as he didn’t want to deal with that old ship, if the opportunity presented itself, he would take it.

Not having anything better to do, he walked around the base for a while. He might as well learn his way around, as he didn’t know how long he would be there. Really, it was probably for the best that he stuck around for a bit, let himself get settled and figure out who he was. Because he wasn’t quite sure about that. As much as he hated everyone around him, at least it was a place to stay.

Eventually, he decided to find Dameron. He could figure out where his new room was and maybe just take a nap. Sleeping on the couch hadn’t been comfortable. When he found Dameron, he was talking to a couple of pilots. It probably wasn’t anything important and Kylo pushed them out of the way.

“Finn said you have a new room for me.”

“Not now, Ren,” Dameron said. “I’m in the middle of something.” He turned his attention back to the pilots.

Kylo frowned. He didn’t wait for anyone. He needed to know where he was supposed to sleep. He raised a hand and immediately, Dameron fell silent, his hand going to his throat. There was noise behind him, but Kylo didn’t pay attention, focusing on how much he hated Dameron.

His focus was shattered when something hit him in the back of his head and he dropped down to the ground. He glanced up and saw that one of the pilots - an old man - had a blaster in his hands. Aimed at Kylo.

“Thanks Wedge,” Dameron said before turning his attention to Kylo. “You stay there until I find Rey.”

He walked away, along with the other pilots. Kylo stayed where he was for a moment, but there was no one to make him stay. No one that actually could. So he walked off. He still didn’t know where his room was, so he couldn’t even take a nap. Swearing, he kicked a nearby crate and stormed back to the base.

“Ben!”

He stopped just short of getting back inside and saw Rey running towards him. And he only saw Rey. No one else was around at all. He knew there had been others when he first went outside. Strange.

“Poe says you choked him,” she said when she got close to him. “You can’t do that, Ben. That’s not who you are anymore.”

“As if you would know,” Kylo grumbled.

“Ben… you gave that up.”

“Did I? Or did you just assume that?” He’d wanted away from the person he’d become, but he was starting to realize that didn’t mean he wasn’t really different. He just didn’t want to be part of anything else. Not the First Order, not the Resistance. Just himself. But he was still Kylo Ren.

“Ben, you can’t choke people here. Or throw them around with the Force. You’ve already scared everyone away. We can’t have people to afraid to work.”

“And if I don’t stop?”

“I don’t know,” she said with a sigh. “I know this is an adjustment for you and no lasting harm was done, but you can’t attack people because you’re annoyed. Don’t do it again.”

Kylo had no idea if she had any real way of enforcing that. She couldn’t punish him anymore than he was being punished already. The only thing she could do was kill him. Kylo had no idea if she would, but he also realized he didn’t want to make her do that. Besides Hux, she was the next closest thing he had to a friend and all that was left of his family. 

“Fine,” he grumbled. He could at least agree with her, although he knew he’d likely lash out again. In the year he’d been Supreme Leader, he’d had no one to hold him back and had done whatever he wanted. It would be a hard habit to break.

“Poe also let me know where your new quarters are. I’m going to take you there and I think it might be best if you stay there for a while.”

“Are you… sending me to my room?” Kylo couldn’t believe it. His little sister was trying to send him to his room. And although he had wanted to take a nap, he wanted to stay out of his room just so Rey didn’t get the idea that he was obeying her.

“If you want to think of it that way. Let’s go.” She grabbed his wrist and dragged him inside, not letting go until they arrived at a door. Rey opened it and Kylo glanced inside.

At first, he wondered if he’d been given a room by himself. That would be nice, but he knew he wouldn’t be that lucky. As he walked inside, he noticed a datapad on the lower bunk. Whoever his new roommate was was probably just very neat and clean. Which was going to be a problem. They would hate Kylo.

“I don’t want my training interrupted again,” Rey said. “Please behave.”

She left, closing the door and leaving Kylo alone. At least he could finally have his nap.

There was a sense of danger when he woke up, something he was used to. That was just life in the First Order, constantly in danger. For a moment, he forgot where he was because even the source of that danger was very familiar.

He rolled off the bunk and found himself facing Hux. Had he come to kill him? How had he even known where his new quarters were. Then a terrible thought came to him.

“No,” Kylo said. “No. No. No.”

“This better not be what I think it is,” Hux said. “Now get out of my quarters.”

Of course Dameron had put him with Hux. Only he could be so cruel. Kylo wanted to leave and demand new quarters, but he wouldn’t let Hux have the satisfaction of getting rid of him. If Hux didn’t want to share a room, then he could complain.

“These are my quarters too,” Kylo said.

“No, they’re not.” Hux turned and walked out the door. Kylo knew it couldn’t be that easy. Hux wasn’t going to just leave. Not knowing what he was going to do, Kylo decided to follow him. After all, Hux might try to get a weapon.

Hux stormed over to Dameron, who was looking at a computer. Dameron glanced up and groaned, and then called over his comlink for Rey. 

“You can’t make me share a room with him!” Hux shouted.

“Don’t have much of a choice,” Dameron said with a shrug. “You’ve been here less than a month and your longest roommate lasted three days. No one wants to share a room with you.”

“Then give me one of my own!”

“Not enough space. And Ren’s chased off a roommate already too. The way I see it, the two of you should get along fine. Besides being good at chasing off roommates, you were both First Order. At least you have something in common.”

“Do you have any idea what he did to me?” Hux shouted, even louder than before. “He ruined my life’s work! He let it all rot away in his hands because he wanted to play with the Sith! And worse! He threw me into walls, choked me, practically demoted me and dragged me around like some dog on a leash all while promoting Pryde to my position! I worked for it and he just gave it to that worthless old man! And now you want me to live with him?”

Kylo was shocked to hear Hux so angry. He’d never seen him so upset, and he was definitely upset. He was even shaking. Kylo started to lift a hand, wanting to offer comfort but he remembered it was Hux. He didn’t need to do anything anyway. Dameron stepped forward, putting his hands on Hux’s shoulders.

“Is that true, Ren?”

“I didn’t demote him,” Kylo said. It was the only part he could honestly deny. “And I only did what I had to do. It’s not my fault he’s so untrustworthy I had to keep him close.”

Hux pushed Dameron away from him and glared at Kylo. He really didn’t know why Hux was so mad. Had their situations been reversed, Hux would have done the same to Kylo. In fact, if Hux had become the Supreme Leader, Kylo was certain he would have done so much worse. Not that Kylo would have stuck around to see.

A thought struck him. He would have left. Hux, on the other hand, couldn’t have. Hux had been trapped with him. He didn’t think about it much more because Rey showed up and then Dameron started talking.

“Look, you two might hate each other, but no one else can possibly live with either of you. I don’t care if one of you sleeps in the hallway or somewhere else on base, but you’re going to have to share quarters for now. Can you at least give it a month? A week even?”

“Fine,” Kylo said. He didn’t want to share space with Hux, but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Hux clearly felt differently and stormed off.

“Well, at least one of you is on board,” Dameron said. “I don’t know all of what happened between you two and I don’t think I want to, but please don’t irritate him intentionally.”

“It’s not intentional. It just happens.”


	3. Chapter 3

Hux couldn't believe what was happening. Not only did he have to put up with Ren at work, now he was expected to live with him? There was only so much Hux could tolerate.

Once again, Ren was ruining everything.

Hux had come to the Resistance to escape Ren, along with everyone else who had ever abused him. And now he couldn't get away. His last hope had been Dameron. He'd hoped he'd care enough to keep Ren away but even knowing what he'd done, Dameron did nothing.

When he made it back to his quarters, he couldn't help but break down in tears as he fell onto his bed. He'd thought he'd gotten away. He had, just for a bit. But he couldn't have anything, could he? Not even giving up everything he believed in had been enough. The universe truly hated him.

Hux didn’t hear the door open, didn’t realize he wasn’t alone until he heard soft footsteps approaching. He sat up and saw that it was Ren. Of course it was. Because he couldn’t even have a moment to himself to let himself process his emotions.

“Hux?” Ren came to stand in front of him. Hux tried to wipe away his tears, but it was too late. “Are you crying?”

“What kind of stupid question is that?” 

“I… I didn’t realize. That you were that upset about this.”

“Oh, you didn’t realize?” His sorrow was turning to rage as he stood up. “You already forgot about everything you’ve done to me?”

“I apologized for the throne room. And Crait.”

“Oh, and I’m just supposed to accept that? I was bruised for a month! And what about everything you did after? I’m just supposed to forget about what you did to the Order? To me?”

“What do you think I did?” Ren shouted, raising his voice as well. “I never demoted you!”

“You took everything from me! My command, the stormtrooper program. Everything! You forced me to go with you on the _Steadfast_ for no reason! I could have been useful if you would have let me! We could have won!”

“You were going to kill me!” Ren growled. “Don’t think I didn’t know about the throne room. And I knew you would take the first chance you got to put a knife in me! I had no choice!”

“Then why keep me around at all if you weren’t going to use me? Why not just kill me? It would have been easier for all of us!”

“Because…” Ren looked confused and he stuttered a bit before shouting. “Because I didn’t want to!”

“What kind of reason is that? Are you stupid? If you really thought I was threat, you would have killed me! You wanted to humiliate me!” The tears started flowing once again, but Hux was beyond caring.

“I didn’t!”

“Then why? Why make _Pryde_ my superior? Why give him the position I’d worked my entire life for?”

“Why does it matter who it was?”

“Why does it matter? Ren, do you have any idea who Pryde was? What he did to me?”

“Why would I know that? It’s not like you’ve ever told me anything.”

“Why bother telling you anything when you’re a mind reader who just takes what they want?”

“Is that how you want it?” Ren took a step towards him and Hux almost backed away but he held his ground. He was done backing down from Ren. From anyone. And if Ren killed him, then so be it. At least he’d finally be free from him.

Ren didn’t kill him, but he felt him inside his mind. Which was worse in some ways. He didn’t want Ren inside his head at all. He remembered things that he wanted to forget, Brendol, Brooks, Pryde, all those old Imperials and how they’d mistreated him. Was that what Ren was looking for?

“Hux.” Ren said, soft. “That. Was.”

Ren didn’t finish what he was going to say. He fell silent and then, after a moment, he turned and walked back out of the room. Hux didn’t care what he was going to say. He was glad he was gone and hoped he stayed gone.

***

Kylo had not expected things to go that way. He knew there would be an argument. It seemed inevitable when he and Hux were in the same room. But finding Hux crying had been a surprise, and then when he’d gone inside his head… he hadn’t expected that.

He knew Hux had a rough childhood, that his father had hurt him and that Hux had killed him for it. He knew there were others who had hurt him as well. He’d suspected Pryde had been one of them, but he’d never thought to confirm it. But now he had. And what he found was much worse than he expected.

It wasn’t so much what he’d seen - he’d seen far worse. He’d been responsible for worse. But he’d never _felt_ what it was like to go through that. Even after so many years - or not so many years - the fear was still so clear in Hux’s mind. The fear of never being safe, of not knowing what would set someone off and leave him bleeding and helpless on the floor. 

And Kylo had gotten so much more than what he’d suffered as a child. Even into adulthood, Brendol had taken every opportunity to be cruel. It was certainly more verbal than physical, but it had hurt Hux all the same. Brendol, along with any other Imperial with a higher rank, had never done anything but make him feel worthless. And of course, he and Snoke had continued that same pattern that he had known his entire life.

Kylo realized just how badly he’d ruined things with Hux and Snoke’s words rang in his mind. That Hux wanted to kill everyone. Kylo shouldn’t have taken it personally. That’s when things had truly gone wrong between them. Kylo had worried that Hux would undermine him, make things difficult, and kill him. But he’d seen the throne room in Hux’s mind, fire all around them. And he’d felt Hux’s fear as Kylo choked him, how he thought Kylo would kill him. And under that, something else. Kylo couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was Hux was feeling in that moment.

Kylo had only made things worse when he transferred to Pryde’s ship and brought Hux along. He’d felt it in the moment, how Hux had nearly begged him not to make him go. He knew Hux didn’t want to go, but Kylo insisted, ignoring Hux’s very rational reasoning for why he should have stayed on board the _Finalizer_.

And when Hux had been faced with Pryde, put in a position under him, Hux had given up. There was fear, but he had all the fight taken out of him. Kylo had noticed the change but had been too busy to do anything about it. Too busy to care. He’d tried to push Hux on occasion, trying to bring his old self out, but Kylo had crushed him. Well, Pryde did, but it was Kylo’s fault. Kylo was the one who forced Hux into that position.

“Fuck!” he shouted, kicking the nearest wall.

“Ben!”

Kylo kicked the wall again, screaming, then rested his head against the wall. He didn’t want to put up with Rey or anyone. He just wanted to fix things with Hux. If that was even possible. Now that everything in his life and crumbled away with Hux the only reminder of that past, he wanted to cling to that. Hux was a reminder of who he really was and not some ideal version that Rey projected on him. 

And Hux really was the closest thing to a friend he’d had. It really hadn’t been so bad between them. Not in the days before Starkiller was destroyed. After that, everything had just fallen apart so quickly. Them, the Order, everything. He wanted to go back to the old days. When they could bicker with each other but also work together, talk together.

“What’s wrong, Ben?” Rey was standing next to him. He didn’t bother looking at her. “Finn says there was a noise complaint from your quarters. Ben?”

“Would you stop calling me that?” he snarled at her. “I’m not Ben Solo! I never was! You need to stop deluding yourself.”

He walked away, not wanting to talk to her anymore. That conversation had been long enough. Unfortunately, Kylo didn’t have anywhere to go. There were people all over the place and he couldn’t be near them. That meant he had no choice but to go out into the forest. It was warm enough he could probably sleep out there. It was a bit wet but he’d slept in worse places.

Kylo just stared into the distance, hardly noticing how dark it was getting. He should probably just stay out there and never go back. It’d make everyone happier. No one on the base wanted him around. Not that Kylo cared about them, but he hated knowing what he’d done to Hux. He’d crushed the spirit of a friend, reduced him to nothing. And for no reason. He hadn’t had to do any of it.

He didn’t know anything about the planet they were on, but maybe there was a town somewhere. Maybe he could get there and disappear. He could use the Force to get himself off planet, and he knew he could keep himself hidden. Then no one would have to worry about him again.

“Hey, Ren.”

Kylo looked up and saw Dameron and Finn walking towards him. He was tempted to push them back with the Force, make it clear he didn’t want to talk. But at least Finn called him by his actual name, and he didn’t feel like getting up. He turned his attention away from them, almost hoping that if he couldn’t see them, he could pretend they weren’t there.

“As much as we don’t care about your drama,” Finn said, “it’s a disruption. You want to tell us what’s going on?”

Kylo didn’t speak. He had nothing to say to them.

“Yeah,” Dameron said. “We’re gonna have to do this the hard way.”

Kylo didn’t care what they planned on doing. They couldn’t make him feel any worse than he already did and they certainly couldn’t hurt him more than he’d been hurt before. He’d expected them to hit him. But they didn’t do that. Instead, they sat down on either side of him.

“We may not like you,” Dameron said. “But you are one of us now. And we do take care of our own. So tell us. What’s gotten you in a mood?”

“None of your business.”

“I know you and Hux always disagreed,” Finn said. “But I don’t remember you ever having screaming matches with each other. It’s pretty obvious the source of the problem is with him.”

“He accused you of some pretty major stuff,” Poe added. “So my guess is that’s what you fought about. Did you actually do all that to him?”

“Leave me alone.”

“I think I believe him,” Dameron continued. “Which is saying a lot because Armitage is not exactly what I’d call trustworthy. But I can easily see you doing all that stuff.”

Kylo tuned them out. He hoped that if he didn’t respond they would eventually give up and leave. But they kept talking well until night had fallen. He had no idea what they were talking about anymore, but he knew that they weren’t going to give up.

“What’s it going to take to get you to go away?”

“Finally,” Finn said. “You remembered how to talk.”

“Let us help you,” Poe said. “Tell us what’s bothering you.”

“Hux,” he said with a sigh. 

“We knew that,” Finn said.

“He was right. About what I did. I hurt him.”

“So?” Finn asked. “He deserved it. And don’t you hate him?”

“He didn’t!” Kylo shouted, jumping to his feet. He could barely see where Finn and Poe were, but it didn’t matter. “He didn’t deserve any of it!”

“So what? You care about Armitage now?” Dameron asked.

“No!” He didn’t. Not really. Hux didn’t truly matter to him and if he never saw him again, that would be fine with Kylo. Even so, he just couldn’t stand the fact that he hurt Hux so much. And he had no idea why.

“Okay.” He could hear the uncertainty in Dameron’s voice. “But you want to make it up to him right? Let’s get back to base and see if you can figure out how to do that.”

“What?” Kylo hadn’t even really thought about trying to make it up to Hux - how could he? It was far too late to do anything. But the other part of what Dameron said was also a surprise. “You would help?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Not because we like you. We just don’t want the two of you fighting and screaming all the time.”

He could hear them standing up and they walked back to the base together. There were at least plenty of lights as they got closer to the base. There were a few times Kylo nearly stumbled, but he had the Force to catch himself. Dameron and Finn were not so lucky.

“If you want to make it up to him,” Dameron said once they were back inside, “it’s going to take a long time. If you were rational people, I’d suggest talking to him, but I suspect you’ll just end up screaming again. So maybe just do something nice for him.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know,” Dameron said with a shrug. “Get him something he likes?”

“Tried that.”

“You did?” Finn asked.

“Tried to bring him tea. He threw it on the ground.”

“Well, buddy, I don’t know what to tell you. You’re going to have to think of something he can’t refuse.”

Rey joined them just outside of his quarters. She didn’t look happy, but she turned her attention to the others first. “Got Armitage in my quarters,” she said, before looking at Kylo. “Just for tonight though. So the two of you better get this mess figured out.”

She left with Finn and Dameron and Kylo went into his empty quarters, wondering about Dameron’s advice. He had no idea what he could do for Hux that wouldn’t anger him further.

***

“They’re going to continue to be a problem, aren’t they?” Poe asked as they walked into Finn’s quarters. They were small, but he did have the room to himself. At least, he usually did. With Armitage in Rey’s room, she would be sharing with Finn for the night.

“Definitely,” Finn said. 

“I’m really sorry about this,” Rey said. “I really didn’t think he’d be this much trouble.”

“We did,” Finn said. “And it’s not your fault. Did Hux say anything?”

While Poe and Finn had been talking with Kylo, Rey’s job had been to talk to Armitage and see if they could solve the issue on his end. Poe suspected that wouldn’t happen. 

“He was upset and that’s putting it mildly. Apparently B- Kylo… did a mind probe on him. He rambled for a bit and all I gathered is that he’s been hurt badly. It didn’t seem like it was all Kylo but I really don’t know.”

Poe groaned. It really was a mess they had with the two of them and he really was at a loss of what to do. He almost liked Armitage and wanted him to stay. Ren was pretty much useless, but Poe knew as well as anyone that they couldn’t contain him, and they didn’t want him on his own. So they had no choice but to keep him. But that meant they might lose Armitage.

He thought about what he’d said to Ren about trying to make things up to Hux. Poe had his doubts that it would work, but it really was the best case scenario with them. 

“Let’s figure this out tomorrow,” Poe said as he stood up. “I really don’t want to think about either of them anymore.”


	4. Chapter 4

For a moment, Hux was able to forget about the previous day and the disaster it had been. He woke up in an unfamiliar room and at first, he wasn't sure where he was. Then he remembered.

Screaming at Ren, Ren invading his mind, the Jedi girl coming to talk to him, and spilling his guts to her. He really wanted to believe it hadn't been real, but he knew it had all actually happened. He never wanted to show his face again.

But Hux had never been one to lie down and quit. 

He got ready for the day and then headed to the mess hall for a quick breakfast. As he was eating, he couldn’t help but think about that cup of tea that Ren had offered him the day before. They didn’t have tea in the mess hall. Which meant he hadn’t gotten it there. It only seemed to further prove that it was indeed poison, but Ren had a point. Why would he resort to poison?

It had been a shame to waste the tea - it was one of the things he missed. He knew he could make a request to get some, but he didn’t think the Resistance would do anything for him. Which made him wonder how Ren managed to get a hold of it. And why.

He didn’t want to think of Ren at all. He just hoped that Ren had the sense to realize Hux wanted nothing to do with him and wouldn’t show up in his office. If he had any luck at all, Dameron would realize that the two of them couldn’t work together and let him have at least a little peace. 

He’d never been lucky.

Hux considered taking the day off. That way, he had a much higher chance of avoiding Ren. But he had no idea what he would even do with a day off. He didn’t have friends on the base. There was nothing for him to do. And the only reason they tolerated him at all was because he was helping them track down the remnants of the First Order. If he stopped, who knew what they would do to him?

It certainly couldn’t be any worse than what he’d put up with for the past 35 years, but it really had been a nice few weeks where he didn’t have to worry about being hit because he’d made a mistake. Or it was perceived he made a mistake. Hux took great pride in his work and mistakes were few.

When he walked inside his office - really, it was a closet - he froze. Ren was there, sitting at his desk, touching his things. Right when he thought the situation couldn’t get any worse, it did. Had Dameron replaced him with Ren? Did the Resistance no longer need him? 

He shouldn’t have been surprised. Why wouldn’t he be replaced? And of course, it just had to be the man that already took the role that should have been his once before. Hux really couldn’t catch a break.

“I organized all the new reports,” Ren said, almost smiling. “There’s not much in the new ones, but I also saw some of the older ones. You know where the _Finalizer_ is.”

“What are you doing here?” Hux couldn’t even bring himself to be angry. He just wanted Ren to confirm his suspicions so he could at least get away from him. At least if he was locked up somewhere, he wouldn’t have to see Ren again. Given what Ren had stumbled on, it seemed pretty likely that was the case.

“Working,” he said. He picked up a cup, very similar to the one he’d offered to Hux the day before, and took a sip. “Got some new intelligence. Thought I’d go through it.”

“That’s my job.”

“Yeah, sorry.” Any smile on his face was gone and he got up. “I’ll just leave you to it then.”

Ren started to leave and Hux headed to his desk. He’d have to fix everything Ren messed up, and he was certain he’d done many things wrong. If he was giving him the desk back, then maybe he wasn’t replacing him. But if Kylo ran his mouth to Dameron or anyone else, Hux would certainly be locked up.

“Ren,” he said before he made it to the door. “What did you see about the _Finalizer_?”

“Looks like you know where she is,” he said with a shrug.

“And?”

“You haven’t acted on that information.”

“Is this some kind of blackmail?” That was the only thing Hux could think of. It would make sense that Ren would try to find a way to have power over him again. “It won’t work. I don’t care what they do to me. I won’t let you control me ever again.”

“Hux, that’s not…” Ren sighed and shook his head. “I’m not going to tell anyone. I was just. Talking.”

“I don’t believe you, but like I said, I don’t care. Tell whoever you like.”

“I’ll find another place to sleep tonight,” Ren said, and then he was gone.

Despite telling Ren that he didn’t care, he knew he was going to be dreading his arrest for the rest of the day. And possibly even longer. Who knew when Ren would decide to tell someone.

***

Dameron had said to do something nice for Hux and to make sure he couldn’t refuse it. Kylo hadn’t been able to sleep, trying to come up with an idea. He tried to stop thinking about it, telling himself nothing would ever help him make things better with Hux, but he had to try.

The only thing that Kylo could come up with was helping him with his work. If it was already done, then he would have to accept it. Because he knew Hux would never allow it, Kylo had snuck into his office long before Hux was scheduled to arrive. He decided to bring another cup of tea, planning to drink some in front of Hux and leave it. Maybe Hux would realize then it wasn’t poisoned.

Kylo had no idea if that had helped. Hux had spoken to him and he hadn’t yelled at him. That was an improvement. But he had accused him of blackmail. That was more normal. But better than Hux screaming at him about how he ruined his life. 

In addition to helping Hux with his work when he wasn’t around, Kylo also decided he was going to give him as much space as he could. So he wasn’t going to go back to the office. Which meant he had to find something to do for a while. Not wanting to run into other people, he decided to explore unused portions of the base.

It was easy enough for him to get around, as he had the Force to move any collapsed debris and force open jammed doors, but he could see why the Resistance wasn’t using that section. It would have been hard for them to get through. But he eventually made his way to a back entrance. Or maybe it was supposed to be the front. That didn’t matter. What was important was that it was a door that no one else knew about.

Given the difficulty of getting to it, Kylo didn’t think anyone was even aware of it. When he forced the door open and looked outside, he could see that he was right. Vegetation had grown all the way up to the building and vines were obscuring the door’s presence. Or at least they had. Kylo had broken them and the door wouldn’t fully close, so it was rather obvious. But given the density of the forest, Kylo didn’t think anyone would be back there looking around.

It was a hard area to reach both from inside and outside. And that was perfect for Kylo. He hadn’t gone back there for any reason besides having nothing else to do, but he realized it solved the problem of where he was going to stay. 

He found a room that was covered in dust and had tons of bugs in it, but in much better condition than most of the others he’d seen. Using the Force, it took him no time at all to get it cleaned up. The next step then was to bring his stuff over.

Hux would be in his office so Kylo was able to return to Hux’s quarters and pick up the few sets of clothes he’d been given along with his things from the refresher. He was tempted to take the mattress from the bed, but there was no way he would be able to take that without anyone noticing. Instead, he took a pillow and a blanket. That would have to be enough.

He went back to his new room and laid the blanket and pillow on the floor and put his clothes in neat piles. That was all he had in the galaxy, and none of it was really his. Everything else he’d ever had was gone. Except for perhaps what was left on the _Finalizer_.

Hux was tracking the ship’s movements, which meant he had a pretty decent idea about where she was. If Kylo could get back there, he could retrieve a few of his things, assuming someone hadn’t broken into his quarters and thrown it out an airlock. It would be nice to have things that were his.

But as he lay on his blanket, he realized he needed something a bit more immediately. If he planned on staying more than a few nights, he really needed a more comfortable place to sleep. Which meant he needed more blankets and pillows. To get those, he would have to talk to someone. At least, that’s what he would have to do if he were an average person.

Knowing he had the Force on his side in case he had any difficulty, Kylo went in search for whoever was in charge of giving out supplies. The small bag containing toothpaste and a toothbrush had come from there. But Kylo didn’t exactly know where to go. Dameron had gotten most of his things for him, but Kylo was sure he could figure it out.

As he walked around the populated areas of the base, he noticed that people were avoiding him. Good. The last thing he wanted was to be around anyone else. He did realize that it might have been easier if he could ask someone where to go, but even if he did, he suspected no one would tell him.

Kylo eventually found the supply section but instead of talking to the man standing by the computer, he simply used the Force so he wouldn’t be noticed and slipped past him. He had no idea where blankets would be, so he had to walk around for a while. Eventually he found all that he needed, along with a datapad.

He snuck back out and made his way back to his room. It was only after he got there that he realized the Resistance might have security cameras that would have picked him up as he took the blankets and pillows. Hopefully if they noticed them missing, they wouldn’t think it important enough to really worry about.

Kylo arranged his new bedding and it was definitely more comfortable. He could stay there. He’d still need to leave to get food and use the refresher, but at least he could be away from everyone for the most part. 

Would anyone even notice he was gone? Most of the Resistance would probably be relieved they didn’t see him and probably wouldn’t think about it. Dameron would be suspicious after a while. He’d ask Rey about it. And Rey would be able to sense his presence. She’d know he was still on the planet. She might even be able to figure out exactly where he was using the Force.

Maybe she’d just let him be. Maybe she wouldn’t care what he was doing as long as he was still on the planet. Rey would be capable of finding her way to the back part of the base just as he had. But with any luck, she’d wait until he’d crawled out of his hiding place before confronting him. That much was a given. He was going to have to explain himself to Rey.

***

Things had been too quiet on the base. In the few days that Ben had been there, they hadn’t had a moment’s peace. With Ben attacking his roommate, choking Poe, and having screaming matches with Hux, he was becoming a lot to deal with. So when he was suddenly so quiet, Rey became worried.

He was still there - Rey could easily feel him in the Force. His presence was like a raging fire and although she could feel that, it was quieter than she’d ever known. There was still that bond in the Force - not as strong now but still there. She could possibly try to see him, but that wouldn’t tell her where he was. But she didn’t really need to know.

Ben was safe and didn’t seem to be getting into any trouble. That was the best that she could really hope for with him. As much as she wanted to see him and know for sure, she wasn’t about to risk the peace that they had. It was probably going to be too short anyway.

What she did need to do was let the generals know about the situation. She grinned when she thought about her two friends as generals, especially Finn. It had only been a little over a year ago when she’d met him, an ex-stormtrooper on the run. And now he was a general and a Jedi in training.

Finn’s presence was another one that was easy for Rey to find. Unlike Ben’s, it was calm and relaxing. It felt like home. Poe didn’t have as strong of a presence, but Rey could usually find him as well. He felt charged, always ready and energetic, but controlled.

They were together, which wasn’t too surprising. When their duties or Finn’s training didn’t have them apart, they spent as much time together as possible.When she found them, they were smiling and laughing. It was clear they really cared about each other and Rey was happy for them, although she wondered why they hadn’t just told each other how they felt yet.

There would be time for that soon enough. But she unfortunately needed to spoil their good mood by bringing up Ben.

“Rey!” Finn jumped up and gave her a hug and Rey smiled. She would never tire of being hugged. When he let go of her, she sat down with them.

“Have either of you seen Ben?” Rey asked. They both shook their heads. “Neither have I. It’s been very quiet today.”

“You think he’s up to something?” Poe asked.

“No, I don’t think so.” Rey thought about it a bit more and then shook her head. “He’s just not causing trouble.”

“You’re right,” Finn said. “We should be worried.”

“You know him better than any of us, Rey,” Poe said. “If you think we need to do something, then I’ll follow your lead. But is it really so bad to just let him be? As long as he’s behaving himself.”

“I was thinking the same,” Rey said. “I just wanted you to know that it’s possible he’s up to something.”

“I miss the days when we didn’t have to put up with him,” Poe said with a sigh.

“I agree,” Rey said. He was her brother and she knew Han and Leia cared so much about him, but she couldn’t deny her life would be easier without him. It didn’t help that she didn’t know him as well as Poe seemed to think, so she had no idea whether she should be worried or not. But there was one person who might.

Rey stood up. She knew she should forget about Ben and just let him do his own thing. But some small part of her worried that he was going to turn back into a monster again and try to destroy the Resistance. She knew it was a bit ridiculous - she sensed that he was different than Kylo Ren. Same terrible personality, but somehow, just a little better.

She still found it hard to sympathize with him when he attacked people on base. And after learning what he’d done to Armitage, it got even harder. Armitage was just as terrible a person as Kylo was, but she couldn’t help but feel bad for him. He hadn’t exactly explained what Kylo had done, but she could feel how deep his pain went. No one deserved that. Not even Armitage.

When she got to his office, she knocked on the door, but there was no answer. She knocked a second time, a bit harder, but he didn’t respond. If he wasn’t there, then Rey thought that she could just wait for him, so she opened up the door to see that he was sitting at his desk.

He seemed to experience several emotions at once - fear, anger, betrayal, sorrow - yet his face gave almost nothing away. There was a slight curl in his lip as if he were annoyed. She had knocked, so if he hadn’t wanted to be disturbed, he could have said something.

“I can’t say this is unexpected,” he said. 

“It isn’t?” Rey had no idea why he would expect her. Unless he’d done something to Ben. But he was fine. “I wanted to talk about Ben.”

“Ben.” Armitage rolled his eyes. “Why do you call him that? That’s not who he is.”

“It is.” Even as she insisted upon it, she had her doubts. Ben had even yelled at her about using that name. But she couldn’t bear to call him Kylo. That was the name of a monster. Ben was Leia’s son. Her brother.

“Whatever you call him, I don’t really want to talk about him.”

“Oh, yeah. Um. Are you okay?”

Armitage stared at her for a moment, looking shocked. Then, a sad look on his face, he shrugged. “I suppose I’m doing as well as I can for someone who has been forced to live and work with the worst person in the galaxy.”

Rey didn’t point out that there were many that might say he was the one that deserved that title. That wasn’t what she was there for. “You don’t happen to know where he is, do you?”

“No, and I’d like to keep it that way. He was in here this morning but I haven’t seen him since. He left his tea.”

Armitage pointed towards a cup on his desk, and Rey could see that it was still mostly full. She didn’t know why he was keeping the cup there or why he’d even mentioned it. Maybe it meant something between him and Ben.

“Thanks. And just so you know, if you ever want to talk, I’ll always listen. Let us know if you need anything.”

Once again, there was a brief look of surprise on Armitage’s face. Strange. She gave him a quick smile and then left, deciding not to worry about it. She had more important things to do than worry about Armitage. Or Ben.


	5. Chapter 5

A week had passed since Ren had started yelling at Hux, and it had been surprisingly peaceful since then. Hux had expected more fights with Ren, fights that would certainly escalate to violence. If that happened, Hux knew he was likely to be killed. There would be no one to hold Ren back and Hux had no weapon. And no one would interfere to help him.

Instead, he found Ren in his office every morning. He’d update the charts that were tracking the people they were looking for and kept things organized. Once, he’d even cleaned the room. The entire thing was strange and Hux had no idea what Ren had to gain from it. To add to the confusion, he also brought a cup of tea every morning. He’d take a single sip from it and then leave it behind. And he did leave, almost as soon as Hux arrived.

Besides those morning visits, Hux hadn’t seen him. As he’d promised, he hadn’t returned to their quarters, giving Hux a much needed break from living with others. It was really nice, which meant that Ren was planning something.

Hux initially thought that he planned on telling Dameron about the _Finalizer_ and when Skywalker - Hux couldn’t believe she was Ren’s cousin or sister or whatever - had come in the door, he thought for sure she was going to take him away and lock him up. Instead, she had just asked about Ren and then, oddly enough, she’d been nice to him.

He realized that no one had ever asked him if he was okay before and he was shocked that Skywalker had been the first to do so. He wanted to hate her. After all, she was a major reason the First Order had lost. Although it really had mostly been Ren’s obsession with her. Had Ren managed to forget about her, maybe they wouldn’t have lost.

None of that mattered. It was over and Hux now had to deal with living with the Resistance. Although he hated most of them - and they seemed to feel the same about him - Hux was starting to think that Skywalker might not be too bad.

He knew that she had probably only asked out of reflex. She didn’t actually care about him. But it was still nice that she had asked at all. And her offer when she left. Hux hadn’t stopped thinking about that. He would never take her up on that, but it was a strange thing to offer to someone she hated. 

And there was the matter of the night he and Ren had fought. Skywalker had come to him, comforted him, and even offered her own quarters so he wouldn’t have to sleep in the same room as Ren. He couldn’t remember exactly what he’d said to her, having been too shaken up by everything that had happened. 

Maybe Skywalker really was just that nice of a person. And if Ren hated her, then Hux decided she couldn’t be that bad. Too bad Ren couldn’t be as nice as her. Although he was better. But that was also because they’d hardly seen each other. Maybe whatever he was up to had nothing to do with him, but Hux knew from experience that none of Ren’s plans ended well for him.

If he wanted to be able to thwart whatever plans Ren had, then Hux knew he couldn’t avoid the man forever. Which was why the next time he saw him in his office, he called out to him as he sat down in his chair, before Ren could leave.

“Ren,” he said. “Do you really want to work with me?”

He nodded. That didn’t give any clue to what he was planning, unless he wanted to kill Hux. Even then, Ren didn’t need to work with him to do that. So there was something else, something that Hux couldn’t see yet.

“Come here,” Hux said, and Ren did exactly as asked. He motioned him a little closer so that if Hux stood up, they would be in each other’s faces. “Kneel.”

Ren hesitated and Hux thought he wasn’t going to listen. But after a moment, Ren got down on his knees, looking up at Hux. It really was a nice sight, to have Ren on his knees for him, but one that wouldn’t last.

“Here,” he said, handing him his cup of tea. As always, he took a sip when Hux was in there, but he wanted to see if Ren was really drinking it. He took it and they stared at each other for several moments before he finally drank some. Well, probably not poisoned then. 

He took the cup back from Ren and took a small sip. Although it smelled good, it was disappointing. Which made sense. Anything from Ren was bound to be so. “You brewed it too long,” he said, putting the cup back down.

Ren started to stand up, but Hux put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down. He knew he didn’t have the strength to push Ren around, so he was letting it happen. “I didn’t tell you to get up,” he said. 

He didn’t expect Ren to be so docile. He’d never seen him like that. Had he seen that side of Ren, maybe he wouldn’t have hated him so much. But it was far too late for what ifs. Ren was up to something and he thought his act was the way to get his way. Hux still couldn’t figure out what he hoped to gain. But he might as well see how long he could keep up the act.

“You agreed to do whatever I told you to do,” Hux said. “Do you still agree?”

Ren nodded and Hux almost grinned, but kept his face impassive. He would see just how far he could push Ren. It might not be the smartest idea and likely wouldn’t tell him anything about his motives But he finally had power over Ren and he was going to use it before he died.

He lifted his foot up, so his boot was prodding him in the abdomen. Ren looked down and then back up at Hux, clearly unsure of what to do. “Lick it,” Hux ordered.

Ren glared up at him and Hux thought he’d found his limits already. That was a shame, but not entirely unexpected. For several moments, they just stared at each other, neither of them moving. Then, Ren sat back on his heels and brought his mouth down to Hux’s boot.

Hux couldn’t believe what was happening. That Ren was obeying him, licking his boot. He saw his tongue flick out between his lips and run across the leather of his boot. And he didn’t stop there. He kept going and Hux couldn’t tear his eyes away. He could feel the blood rushing to his groin. That was unacceptable. He would not be turned on by Kylo Ren.

He took his other foot and kicked him as hard as he could in the chest, sending Ren backwards a bit. For a brief moment, he looked shocked but that quickly turned to anger. Hux was almost certain that Ren would kill him, but then the rage seemed to fade, replaced only by a look of sadness. 

“Leave,” Hux ordered. 

Ren didn’t move for a few moments, but then he got up and left without a word. Hux had no idea what to think about that incident. He really didn’t have time to worry about Ren, as he had plenty of work to do.

He glanced at the cup of tea on his desk, left behind as always. It was much cooler than Hux liked and brewed improperly, but at least he could be fairly certain that it hadn’t been poisoned. He took another sip and frowned. Someone really needed to teach Ren how to brew tea properly. If he could do that, then maybe Hux wouldn’t mind his morning visits.

Although even with the terrible tea, Hux couldn’t say this morning’s visit had been horrible. Maybe Hux could tolerate his poor skills in making tea if Ren would kneel in front of him and let Hux do whatever he wanted. That was something Hux could definitely get used to.

***

As he rubbed the large bruise on his chest, Kylo wondered if he should just leave Hux alone. Hux hated him and didn’t want to be anywhere near him. That was obvious to anyone on the base who had ears.

If he really wanted to make things up to Hux, the best way to do that was to leave him alone completely instead of forcing Hux to put up with him for a few minutes every morning. But that just wouldn’t do for Kylo. It wasn’t just about making Hux feel better. It was about Kylo too.

So even though he knew he was likely to be kicked again, he found himself in a lounge, making a cup of tea. Remembering what Hux had said, he stood by the cup, waiting for it to be done. Usually, he just let it sit while he rested on the couch for ten minutes or so. 

He had no idea how long he was supposed to let the tea brew, nor had he really paid much attention to how much time he had given it before. He hadn’t thought it really mattered, so he decided to do a little under ten minutes. He was sure he usually spent more time than that. 

When he got to Hux’s office, he got to work quickly, seeing if there were any new reports that had come in. There were always some rumors that went around that made their way to Hux’s desk, but many of them didn’t seem likely. Or even possible. Such as sightings of men who Kylo knew were dead.

If it were up to him, he would have deleted that information. He had no use for every mention of what looked like a former officer who was listed among the dead. But when he looked at Hux’s files, he saw that he kept everything. So Kylo wasted his time placing those reports where they belonged. 

The other thing that Kylo always did was look at Hux’s information on the _Finalizer_ , wanting to see if Hux had found anything new about their old ship. And it really had been their ship. First co-commanders, and then, when Kylo was Supreme Leader, Hux had still cared about that ship as much as ever. 

It made Kylo wonder if he could find the _Finalizer_ himself and give her back to Hux. It would be an impossible task. The Resistance would never let him go and it wasn’t as if he could run off and show up again on a star destroyer. And even if he did, how would he get Hux on board? It wasn’t as if the Resistance was interested in letting Hux out of their sight. And if the Resistance captured the _Finalizer_ or destroyed her, then that would also destroy any hope of Hux ever forgiving Kylo.

It was a nice idea, but one that Kylo knew could never happen. And even if he did, it wasn’t as if they would suddenly go back to being co-commanders. If Kylo insisted on remaining in command, Hux would have nothing to do with it. And if Kylo gave the ship to Hux, he would not let Kylo stay.

There was no way back to the way things were. Kylo knew that. But they were stuck together with the Resistance and despite never getting along with Hux before, he liked him far more than anyone else on base. He hated how lonely he was and Hux was the only one who could possibly understand him. It’s why he knew he could never cut contact with Hux completely.

When Hux walked through the door, Kylo took a sip from the tea as usual, showing Hux it wasn’t poisoned. He then stood up to leave, but he paused and turned to face Hux, wondering if he would ask him to stay again. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to or not.

“What are you doing, Ren?” Hux asked. “Why are you coming in here? Bringing me tea?”

“I’m being nice.” He thought that much should have been obvious.

“You have never been nice a day in your life. After everything, can’t you just tell me the truth?”

“I am telling you the truth!” Kylo couldn’t help but raise his voice. He’d been as nice as he possibly could, even going as far as sleeping on a pile of blankets on the floor just so Hux didn’t have to live with him. He didn’t know what else Hux could want.

“So I’m just supposed to believe that you’re Ben Solo and that you’re suddenly a nice person? I’ve already seen that you’re the same asshole you’ve always been and you always will be!”

“If that’s what you believe then maybe I should stop trying to be nice!”

“Seeing as how you’re not very good at it, I think you’re right. That’s a first.”

Kylo couldn’t believe he’d wasted an entire week trying to be nice to Hux. That he actually thought he cared about the bastard. He should have figured it out when Hux kicked him, but Kylo had hoped that maybe it was something Hux just needed to get out of his system.

He could feel the Force and the rage building up in him. Kylo couldn’t hold it back and he soon had a hold of Hux. He pulled the former general towards him, grabbing him around the neck with his hand as soon as he was close enough. He’d wanted to hurt him, but he stopped.

He could sense how terrified Hux was. He thought he was finally going to die. And Kylo couldn’t help but remember what he’d seen when he looked in Hux’s mind. How many times he thought he was going to die before. How many times he wished he had. His whole life had been full of suffering and Kylo was still adding to it. That wasn’t what he wanted to do.

Kylo released Hux and was almost tempted to give him a hug. But he didn’t have long to consider that before Hux punched him in the face. He didn’t stop with just the single punch either. Hux continued to hit him with his fists and feet, screaming curses at him as loud as he could.

“Damn it Hux!” Kylo growled, trying to defend himself without hurting Hux. “Stop it!”

“Fuck you, Ren!” He continued to hit him until the door to the office opened. He didn’t actually stop immediately, either. Instead, he kept going until Rey was between them. Kylo felt that he couldn’t move and he suspected that she was holding Hux the same way.

“What’s going on?” Rey asked, glancing between them.

“He attacked me!” Hux shouted. 

“And you clearly attacked him!” Rey said. “He’s the only one injured.”

“Rey,” Kylo said. “It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. This has to end. No fights. No screaming. The two of you need to sit down and talk things over, got it?”

“Oh, yes,” Hux said, rolling his eyes. “Wise words from a twenty year old Jedi who lived most of her life as a scavenger.”

“I may be younger, but at least I know how to solve a conflict like an adult.”

“No you don’t,” Kylo said. “You just go in and start hitting things with your lightsaber.”

“Must be a family trait,” Hux muttered.

“Enough! You two are going to stop this. You can hate each other all you want, but if this happens again, I will have Poe drop both of you on a planet with no other inhabitants.”

“He’s the -” Hux started to say, but Rey cut him off.

“No,” she said. “That’s just going to lead to another fight. I’m taking B- my brother to the medcenter. Do you need treatment too, Armitage?”

“No,” he said.

“Good. Once he’s fixed up, we will have that talk.”

Kylo felt himself being released from Rey’s hold in the Force, but she immediately grabbed him by the arm and pulled him out of the room. She didn’t speak all the way down to the medcenter and Kylo could feel her anger in the Force. 

“I can’t believe you,” she said once they were in an exam room. She pushed him in the chest to shove him down into a seat and he couldn’t help but wince at the pain. Rey had pressed right on top of his bruise. “What happened?”

“I came to see him,” Kylo said. “He accused me of… something. I don’t know what. And then we started yelling. Then we fought.”

“Armitage said you attacked him.”

“He attacked back,” Kylo muttered.

“I thought you had given up the dark side,” Rey said sadly. 

“It’s not that simple.”

Before Rey could say anything else, the doctor came in. She looked over him and quickly patched up a cut on the side of his face. Kylo hadn’t remembered being cut at all. The doctor was applying bacta to his bruises when Rey mentioned a chest injury.

“I’m fine,” Kylo said, but the doctor insisted. Kylo could get up and walk away if he really wanted to. But Rey could also stop him. He didn’t know if she would, but he decided it really wasn’t worth the effort to find out, so he took his shirt off, showing the large bruise covering the middle of his chest.

“This doesn’t look good,” the doctor said. “I’ll need to examine you for fractures. Were you punched in the chest?”

“Kicked,” Kylo said, although he wasn’t sure if that mattered.

The doctor felt around the bruised area. She was gentle, but it was still painful. It was fairly minor given what Kylo was used to, but he was glad when it was over. As he put his shirt back on, the doctor informed him that he likely had a fractured rib or two.

“You’ll need to rest for at least a week,” she said. “It’ll take at least four weeks to fully heal unless we get more bacta in.”

“It’s not a problem,” Kylo muttered. He didn’t need bacta. He’d recovered from worse injuries without it. The doctor continued going over care instructions, but Kylo wasn’t really listening. It wasn’t as if he was going to follow through. He’d heal just fine on his own.

“How were you kicked in the chest?” Rey asked as they left. “He didn’t have you on the ground.”

“That was from yesterday.”

“You got into a fight yesterday too? Not that that’s not believable, but I don’t know how the two of you managed to get into a fight so quietly that no one noticed.”

“It wasn’t exactly a fight.”

“I don’t want to know. We’re going to go talk to Armitage and the two of you are going to settle this thing.”

“That’s not a good idea,” Kylo said, stopping in the hallway. He knew nothing good would come of trying to talk to Hux. Especially so soon after the fight.

“So just waiting until you two blow up at each other again is?”

“I mean right now,” he said with a sigh. He would prefer not to talk to him at all, but he knew Rey would insist on it. “If he’s working, he won’t want interruptions. It’ll just make him angry. More angry.”

“Fine,” Rey said. “I suppose you should probably rest anyway.”

Kylo just shrugged. If Rey left him alone, he could go hide in the back of the base again and just stay there. Then he wouldn’t have to talk to Hux at all. Sleeping on his blanket pile with his injury wasn’t comfortable, but there weren’t many other options.

But Rey didn’t let him go. She walked with him and when he tried to turn to head towards his room, she grabbed his sleeve and pulled him in the same direction she was headed. Probably wanted to talk to Dameron about the fight. So much for the idea of getting rest.

She didn’t take him to Dameron. Instead, he found himself standing outside a door. He stared at Rey, not sure why she had stopped. Then he realized he was outside Hux’s quarters. What were supposed to be his quarters.

“Um.”

“What’s the problem now?” Rey asked with a tired sigh.

“I don’t live here anymore.” 

“Really? Because I know Poe hasn’t moved you around and I also know that no one else here would share a room with you.”

“Yeah. I solved that problem.”

“Do you care to give any details?”

“No.” He liked having his room as his secret. Of course, if Rey had really wanted to, she could probably find him anyway. “I’ve been living in the unused part of the base. Out of everyone’s way.”

“No wonder the two of you have been so quiet. Are you really living there or is it just an empty room you sleep in?”

“Um. A bit of both. I have some blankets. And pillows.”

“You’re such a disaster. Come on, then.” She grabbed his sleeve again and led him to another room. She opened the door and pulled him inside. At first, he thought it was a droid repair shop given all the spare parts laying around, but he noticed there was a bed and a few chairs too.

“You can rest in here,” Rey said. “Don’t touch anything.”

Kylo realized that he was in Rey’s quarters. Looking around, he couldn’t believe _she_ was calling him a disaster. At least he didn’t have all kinds of random clutter laying about. He didn’t have time to say anything about it because she left. 

It was strange being in Rey’s quarters, but having the chance to sleep in an actual bed for the first time in a week was too tempting to pass up. As he laid down to sleep, he realized that Rey easily could have healed his injuries, but she hadn’t even offered. Maybe she didn’t think about it, but Kylo guessed she was angry.


	6. Chapter 6

After Skywalker, took Ren away, the rest of Hux’s day had been rather peaceful. He knew it wouldn’t last, but it was nice to at least finish his work. Skywalker had not been happy with him, and he knew he hadn’t heard the last of it. He almost expected her to interrupt him, as she had just as little patience as Ren. 

Because she didn’t barge into his office, he was not surprised to find her waiting for him when he left. She had said that she wanted him to talk things over with Ren, but Hux couldn’t help but wonder if she or someone else decided they were finished with him. Maybe he’d gone too far in hitting Ren. Skywalker did seem rather protective of him, although Hux had no idea why. From what Hux knew, Ren had been just as terrible to her as he had to everyone else.

“Let’s go, Armitage,” she said. He followed her silently, almost expecting to be taken to the brig. But instead, she took him outside, away from the base and into the forest. So that’s how it was going to go.

Hux had lost. After everything he’d done, Kylo Ren had still managed to win. Now he was going to die by the hands of the Resistance while Ren would be allowed to stay with them. Hux almost wanted to scream.

“He’ll betray you,” he said, trying to keep his emotions in check. He had one chance to survive.

“What are you talking about?” Skywalker turned to face him.

“Ren. The only thing he cares about is himself. Once this whole thing with the Resistance is no longer convenient for him, he’ll betray you. You know him better than anyone. You know it’s true.”

“No,” Skywalker said. “He’s different now.”

“He’s really not.” If she was so convinced that Ren was not going to turn on them, then there was nothing he could do. “Just remember this when it happens as I won’t be there to remind you.”

“What do you mean? You’re not going anywhere.”

“Well, I suppose you’re not wrong, but I don’t think my corpse will be doing much talking.”

“Your… oh!” She stepped towards him and Hux couldn’t help but flinch away from her as she reached out a hand to touch him on the arm. “I’m not going to kill you. No one here is. That’s not how we do things.”

“You expect me to believe that you brought me out into the forest just to talk?”

“Yes,” she said. “We need you and Ben to work things out. We assumed there was going to be a lot of yelling, so we decided to bring you out here so you wouldn’t disturb everyone.”

“That…” Hux felt the tension draining from his body and he couldn’t help but just drop to the ground. He really thought that Skywalker was going to kill him, but her explanation did make a lot of sense. Any conversation with Ren was bound to get loud.

“I’m so sorry, Armitage,” Skywalker said. She sat down next to him and put an arm around him. He wanted to push her away, but it really was nice to have someone touch him in such a gentle way. “I should have told you what we were doing. We wouldn’t hurt you. I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“That’s not how we do things here. You helped us defeat Palpatine and now you’re helping us defeat what’s left of the First Order. You’re one of us and we aren’t going to decide one day to just kill you.”

“You can’t speak for everyone here,” Hux said. “Everyone hates me and I’m sure some of them would take the opportunity to kill me if they got the chance.”

Skywalker was silent, and Hux was thankful for that. He really didn’t want to talk about that. Or anything, really. He just wanted to be on his own. It’s all he ever really wanted. Of course, their section of the forest soon got a lot more crowded. When Hux heard footsteps approaching, he lifted his head to see Dameron, Finn, and Ren. 

Hux stood up, not wanting to be on the ground while Ren was there. Skywalker stood with him, but she surprisingly stayed close, keeping an arm around him. She stayed next to him for several moments before she moved away and gave both Finn and Dameron a quick hug.

“All right,” Dameron said. “This is the last time I want to have to do this with you two. So get everything out and we’ll figure out how this is going to work. Although if I may make a suggestion… have the two of you considered just fucking?”

“What is wrong with you?” Hux said. At the same time, the others also let Dameron know that they thought it was a terrible idea. Except for Ren, who was silent and possibly a little red in the face.

“Hey, just a suggestion,” Dameron said, raising his hands. “So what started all this today?”

“He grabbed me with the Force!” Hux glared at Ren. “He was trying to kill me!”

“I wasn’t,” Ren said. “Trying to kill him.”

“So what were you doing?” Skywalker asked. 

“I don’t know,” he said, shrugging. “He was being an asshole. He asked me why I brought him tea. I said I was trying to be nice. He didn’t believe me.”

“So you attacked him?” Dameron asked. 

“He doesn’t like it when I’m nice. Figured he’d want the old me back.”

“No one wants that,” Finn said. 

“I don’t want him around at all,” Hux said. “I’ve already put up with more than enough from him.”

“Think you can tell us a little more?” Dameron asked. “I got what you told me the other night, but there’s more to it than that, isn’t there?”

“Yes,” Hux said. He didn’t want to talk about his childhood, but they didn’t seem to understand. “He’s just one more in a long line of people who have done nothing but hurt me. I helped the Resistance to stop him, but also to get away from that. I just wanted it to be over.”

Hux knew he was on the verge of tears and he hated it. He hadn’t cried in years until the night Ren had walked in on him. And now, he felt like that’s all he wanted to do. He wanted to cry for all those times he couldn’t, when tears would have only made things worse. He could now. No one would stop him. If they thought him weak and pathetic, what did it matter? 

“I didn’t know,” Ren mumbled.

“What did you do to him?” Skywalker asked.

“I threw up against a wall. Choked him. And he’s mad that I made him switch ships.”

“It’s not that!” Hux couldn’t help but shout at him. How could Ren still not understand. “I hated you for everything you’ve ever done to me, but you put me under the command of Pryde! Didn’t you see what he did to me as a child? How he would single me out and humiliate me and beat me?”

“Yes, but -”

“I don’t care about your excuses Ren! I fought my entire life to be free of that! And when I was almost there, you came along and pushed me right back down! And now you think that you can be “nice?” That you can bring me a cup of tea and that I can forgive you for that?”

Hux was crying, but he didn’t care. It felt so good to finally just yell at Ren and let all the tears out. He nearly forgot that anyone else was there until Skywalker had her arms around him again. Dameron too. When he was done shouting, he nearly collapsed, exhausted, but their arms kept him upright.

“You have anything to say to all that?” Finn asked, looking at Ren.

“Does it matter?” 

“What’s wrong with you?” Skywalker said. “He says all that and you say it doesn’t matter?”

“Not that. Does it matter if I say anything? He doesn’t want an apology.”

“Have you tried?” Finn asked.

“No,” Hux said. “He’s right. Any apology from him his useless.”

“Well, this is going to be a problem,” Dameron says. “We really could use both of you to find what remains of the First Order. But obviously, we can’t have the two of you together. I can try to find you a new roommate, Armitage, but I will need you to try to make things work. Just remember you hate your roommate less than Ren.”

“What if Ren just stays in the back?” Finn suggested. “Keeps him out of our way.”

“I’d rather know what he’s up to,” Dameron said.

“Me too,” Skywalker said. “I have an idea. What if Armitage takes my quarters? I can share with Finn.”

“That would work.”

“I don’t know,” Dameron said. “It just seems like you shouldn’t be giving up your quarters for him.”

“It makes it easier and I don’t mind,” Finn said. 

No one said anything for several moments. Dameron didn’t look happy, but apparently, couldn’t think of a good excuse. “Whatever. That settles that. Now what do we do with Ren?”

Ren was standing silently, not speaking at all. That was unusual for him. He glanced up at Hux and looked like he wanted to say something, but thankfully, he kept his mouth shut.

“Put him back where we found him?” Finn joked. Hux thought it might actually be a good idea, but he didn’t say anything.

“What if we switch him to work on Rose’s crew? It’s a bit of a waste, but what else can we do with him?”

“Can I say something?” Ren asked.

“No.” Skywalker, Dameron, and Finn all spoke at the same time.

Hux felt a bit relieved at that. He’d felt certain they would take Ren’s side given that he was family and none of them had seemed to like Hux. But Dameron and Skywalker were still holding him. It was hard to imagine anyone could care about him, least of all his enemies, but maybe he’d misjudged them.

“You’re safe with us,” Dameron said. He pulled Hux towards him so Hux was resting against his chest. He was actually hugging him. Had he ever been hugged before? If he had, Hux couldn’t remember. 

“I’m trying,” Ren said. “I tried to be nice. I don’t know what else to do.”

“I think it’s a little late to be nice,” Dameron said. “I’m going to take him back to the base.”

“Put him in my quarters,” Skywalker said.

“Come on,” Dameron said softly as he started to lead Hux away. He wanted to stand up and walk normally, but he couldn’t help but lean against Dameron. It really was nice to have someone touch him without intending to hurt him.

***

Kylo watched Hux leave, a little surprised that the others all seemed to be taking his side. He knew that he’d hurt Hux in the past, as had many others, but he was trying to do better. But no one seemed to care. Which made him wonder what the point was.

“You should stay away from him,” Rey said.

“What?” Kylo asked, not quite comprehending what she said.

“Don’t bother Armitage anymore. I think you’ve hurt him enough.”

“It’s not like he’s innocent in all this,” Kylo said. “He’s the one who attacked me! He tried killing me too!”

“You seem perfectly fine to me,” Finn said.

“It’s not like you actually care about him anyway,” Rey said. “So just leave him alone.”

“That’s…” Kylo almost said he did care about Hux, but that wasn’t true. Of course he didn’t care about him. He just hated him somewhat less than everyone else. Hux was also his only chance of having any kind of friend while with the Resistance. Or at all. But he’d gone most of his life without friends. There was no need to try to make any now.

“Anyway, you can move back into your old quarters,” Rey said. “And you know you can talk to me, right?”

Kylo nodded, but said nothing. He knew she was just being nice and didn’t actually want to talk to him. No one did. Rey and Finn left, and Kylo was alone. Apparently, that’s just how things were meant to be for him. 

He sat down on the ground, not really wanting to go back to the base. He’d always known he didn’t belong there, but he’d thought that Rey at least wanted him . He’d been wrong about that, as she clearly preferred Hux. 

Kylo really had wanted things to work out between him and Hux, but now, he wouldn’t even have a chance to try. He’d thought Hux might understand him. In the past, he’d been the only person who ever had. And he’d ruined everything between them.

Hux had been the only person who’d ever accepted him for who he was. It had taken him far too long to realize that, but while everyone else had tried to change him for their purposes, Hux had taken him as he was. Even now, that remained true. Rey still wanted him to be a Jedi named Ben. That wasn’t who he was. Hux was the only one who saw that, but now, instead of working with him, Hux just wanted Kylo to go away.

Maybe he could make that happen. He never wanted to stay with the Resistance forever. It felt like he’d already overstayed his welcome. The best thing he could do for everyone was to just disappear. They wanted to keep an eye on him, but they had to realize that he didn’t belong with everyone else.

He walked back towards the base. It’d be easier to steal a ship and take off without saying anything, but he knew Rey would come looking for him. He didn’t want to be on the run for the rest of his life. If they knew he was leaving, then there would be no reason to ever come after him. He could just cease to exist as far as the Resistance was concerned.

Rey would probably be the most understanding about the situation. She might even offer to take him somewhere on the _Falcon_. But he knew she’d be sad and disappointed and he didn’t want to deal with that. Finn might be a general, but Kylo wasn’t about to go to someone who used to be under his command to ask permission to leave. Which left Dameron.

It took him a while to find Dameron, but the other members of the Resistance were quick to point him in the right direction. Or maybe they were just sending him any direction away from them. There wasn’t anyone on the base who wanted him near. Further proof that he needed to leave.

When he found Dameron, he was in the mess hall, eating by himself. That was good. Kylo didn’t want anyone else around. He sat down across from him and Dameron looked up at him, looking very tired. 

“You can’t possibly have any complaints,” Dameron said. “You’ve got quarters to yourself and we’ll keep you and Hux separated. What else could you possibly want?”

“I want to leave.”

“You want to leave? Where? We can’t just let you run off, you know.”

“Why not? You don’t want me here. No one does.” 

“We want you on your own even less.”

“You couldn’t stop me.”

“No,” Dameron admitted with a sigh. “But if that’s what you wanted, then you would have left already. So there’s something you want from me.”

“I don’t want Rey to come after me. And I want…” He wanted someone to tell Hux that he really was sorry about everything and assure him that he would never see Kylo again. But he couldn’t admit that to Dameron. He just shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“Yeah, that’s gonna be a problem too. You don’t even know what you want. So let’s say we let you go off on your own. How long before we hear about some tyrant using the Force to get his way wherever he goes? Then we’ll have no choice but to send Rey after you.”

Kylo wanted to argue that he wasn’t like that anymore, but even though he tried to convince himself that he had changed, he wasn’t sure that was true. The only thing that was really different was that he didn’t have anyone with power over him or any scared underlings to do his bidding. But he really was the same person he’d always been.

The Resistance would never let him be free. 

“I can try to arrange for you to get off planet for a bit,” Dameron continued. “It might do you some good. Armitage too.”

Kylo rolled his eyes at that and as Dameron reached for a cookie on the edge of his plate, Kylo pulled it towards him and took a bite out of it. “You all really love _Armitage_ , don’t you? You do remember he blew up five planets, right?”

“And that’s why we’re keeping him around. At least he’s actually willing to help us.”

“He doesn’t care about your cause. He’ll run off as soon as he gets the chance. All of this is probably some manipulation. Getting you to let your guard down.”

“So did he just make up everything he claimed you did to him? And those were just fake tears? And he also managed to fake his distress in the Force? Rey could sense that, you know. You just really did a number on him and you don’t want to admit it.”

“I never denied it,” Kylo grumbled, pushing the half-eaten cookie back towards Dameron. “He’s never cared about any of this before. He just realized he can use it to manipulate you.”

“Or maybe you should consider that he’s never been able to express how he really feels before. Maybe it is a ploy, but he’s also very clearly been hurt. Especially by you.”

Kyllo knew that was true. Hux hadn’t made up any of his accusations and Kylo had the Force to tell him that he really was hurting. Still, he hated that everyone was so sympathetic to Hux, especially since Kylo knew Hux well enough to know he would use his pain to gain an advantage. But Hux wasn’t his concern. If he betrayed the Resistance, then it wasn’t Kylo’s problem. 

Dameron stood up and started to leave, but then he stopped and turned to face Kylo. “Look, I know you feel like you don’t belong here, but think of this as a second chance. Or I guess for you, this is more like your third or fourth chance. You’re clearly not the same Kylo Ren you used to be or we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. When you figure out just who you are, let us know. We’ll help you.”

Kylo wanted to chew Dameron out for pretending that he knew anything about him, but he was right. As Dameron left, Kylo realized he really didn’t know who he was. He certainly wasn’t Ben Solo, but he wasn’t really Kylo Ren either. 

If only he hadn’t made the one person who might understand hate him.


	7. Chapter 7

Nothing good had ever lasted in Hux’s life. So when he hadn’t seen Ren around in weeks, he couldn’t help but wonder when disaster would strike. Things were certainly different in the Resistance than in the First Order. Maybe they really were going to let him have peace for the first time in his life.

Hux was desperate to believe that things could last the way they were, where all he had to do was help find the remains of the Order and was left alone otherwise. It wasn’t a life that Hux ever would have wanted for himself, but he knew it was the best he could hope for since Ren had destroyed all his dreams of the future.

But he was patient. If the Resistance didn’t lock him up, then he knew there was always a chance he could always achieve his goals. Those goals, however, might change. He wasn’t entirely sure that he would want to destroy the Resistance if given the chance. After all, they were the only ones who had ever been nice to him.

Well, there was Ren who had tried to be nice as well, but after all he’d done, bringing him a cup of tea really wasn’t enough.

Hux was still a little confused about Ren’s intentions. Why would he try to be nice in the first place? What could he hope to gain? And stranger still, Hux hadn’t seen him since that night in the forest. He knew he was still around, but why would Ren suddenly leave him alone when he hadn’t gotten whatever it was he wanted?

It almost made Hux wonder if Ren was different. Maybe he had really just wanted to make up for the past. But that was impossible. Ren was the same selfish, cruel person he had always been. Hux hated him.

He thought he would always hate everyone in the Resistance - especially Dameron - but the more he got to know him, the harder he was to hate. And Dameron had been around quite a bit lately. When he finished his reports for the day, Hux left his office and found Dameron waiting for him, which was becoming a habit.

“Hugs,” Dameron greeted him.

“Dameron.” He still found the nickname a bit irritating, but if that was the worst he had to offer, it really wasn’t all that bad.

They didn’t say much else, but they didn’t need to. They had their routine. Dameron went with him to the mess hall and made sure that he ate, and then, if Dameron wasn’t busy, they’d spend time just talking to each other.

While they were eating, they mostly talked business. Dameron would ask questions about the reports he sent in and even ask for some recommendations on how to proceed. Hux had no idea if Dameron actually listened to him and followed through, but it was nice that he pretended to care about what Hux thought.

There really wasn’t much to discuss from the day’s reports and they soon found themselves sitting in silence. Hux didn’t mind, but Dameron did. The man never seemed to manage to be silent for more than a few minutes.

“How’ve you been?” Dameron asked. “Outside of work, I mean.”

“What?”

“You really are terrible at this conversation thing.”

“I usually don’t talk. I just listen. You learn more that way.”

“Really? So in all this time when I’m doing most of the talking you’ve been trying to figure me out?”

“There’s no trying about it.” Dameron really did talk too much for his own good. It wasn’t that he was telling secrets, but Hux had learned more about his personal life than Dameron likely intended. Or maybe he didn’t care to keep things personal.

“Prove it, then. What have you learned about me?”

“You’re from Yavin 4, your parents were rebel scum just like you, you flew for the Republic before joining the Resistance, and you have romantic interest in Finn. You’re also quite jealous of Skywalker, although you do hide it pretty well when she’s around.”

“Most of that’s in my official file,” Dameron said, although he wouldn’t look Hux in the eye. Which told Hux that he was right about his feelings towards Finn.

“You really think I’ve wasted time reading about you?” Although Hux had known about Dameron for some time, he really hadn’t been much more than a nuisance and not worth Hux’s time. Although he had plenty of time now, he hadn’t tried looking him up, assuming he wouldn’t have access to personnel files.

“I don’t know, Hugs. Sometimes I get the feeling you might like me.”

“That’s preposterous. Where would you get an idea like that?”

Dameron didn’t answer. Instead, he reached across the table and put his hand on top of Hux’s. He started to pull away, but Dameron held on. Hux didn’t bother fighting. It was rather nice, after all.

Hux found himself staring at their hands. Even though Dameron had been giving him quick, friendly touches for a while, it still came as a shock to Hux. How could someone touch him without planning to hurt him? Especially an enemy. Even if Dameron wasn’t an enemy anymore, he should hate him. He shouldn’t be nice to him.

“See, Hugs? You like it when I touch you.” Dameron pulled away and Hux couldn’t help but wish he was still touching him.

“Doesn’t mean I like you,” Hux grumbled.

“Yeah. But you do like it.” Dameron grinned, but then he grew serious. “I don’t think it’s appropriate if anything serious were to happen between us, but if you wanted to hold hands or be held or something, I think that’d be okay.”

Hux didn’t know how to respond to that. He wanted to tell him that he was delusional, and of course Hux would never want such things. Except, he really did. Dameron was gentle with him and Hux couldn’t get over how good it felt to be touched like that.

“I…” Hux could feel his face heating up as he imagined what it would be like to hold Dameron’s hand. “You’re ridiculous. You know, if you were this direct with your friends, maybe you wouldn’t have to be jealous.”

Not wanting to continue that conversation, Hux stood up, ready to retreat to his quarters and stay there, but he saw that Skywalker was standing behind him and he froze. How long had she been there? He couldn’t imagine she’d been there long enough to see Dameron touching him, but she likely heard what Hux had said before standing up. Not that Hux really cared.

“Hi Armitage,” she said. “I was asked to give this to you.”

She handed him a folded up piece of paper, which he eyes suspiciously before taking it. He had no idea who would want to give him anything. No one seemed to like him except Dameron and there was no reason that he would have Skywalker give him anything when he could do it himself.

“What is this?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I was just asked to give it to you and to ask that you read it.”

“By whom?”

“Who do you think?”

Hux was about to say he wouldn’t have asked if he had any idea, but the answer became clear. Ren. That was why she didn’t say. Skywalker seemed to be avoiding the use of either of his names.

“I don’t want it.”

“I know. I told him that. But it seemed important to him, so I told him I’d give you the note. I can’t make you read it. That’s up to you.”

“I’m not going to,” Hux said, trying to hand the note back, but she wouldn't take it. That didn’t matter to Hux. He shoved it in his pocket and went back to his quarters. They were still Skywalker’s as she hadn’t totally cleaned them out, but at least it was a room to himself. By the time he got there, he couldn’t help but wonder what the note said and he had to see.

He took the note from his pocket and unfolded it. The words written were in very nice handwriting, much nicer than Hux’s. It was hard to believe they could have been written by Ren. The prettiness of the letters weren’t why he opened it and he soon focused on what Ren actually wrote.

_Hux,_

_I know you hate me and you have no reason not to. I just wanted to say that I really am sorry about everything. I used to think of us as friends, and I wanted to tell you that if you ever wanted to be friends again, I’m open to that idea._

_K_

“What the fuck is this?” he said to himself. He stared at the note in disbelief before crumbling it up and throwing it on the ground. He had no idea why Ren would write that. Or if he even had. He knew Skywalker wanted them to get along and he couldn’t help but think she had written the note in an effort to make him hate Ren less, because Ren certainly wouldn’t apologize.

Then again, he never thought that Ren would ever be helpful either. Or that he would bring him tea. He hadn’t figured out why Ren had been doing all that. The simplest answer was that he really was trying to be nice, but Hux couldn’t imagine that was even possible. He had to have something else in mind, but what?

Ren had never really been one to plan so far in advance. He got what he wanted right away or threw a tantrum about it. It made Hux wonder if perhaps he had misjudged Ren. Maybe Skywalker was right. Maybe Ren was different.

But even if that was true, it didn’t change the fact that he was responsible for one of the worst years in Hux’s life. He couldn’t forgive him.

***

Kylo threw a few sets of clothes into a bag that he’d borrowed from Dameron. He had no idea how long he would be gone or what he’d need, but he wasn’t overly concerned. He could always figure things out as he went.

Once he packed, he headed out to the landing field. He saw the _Millennium Falcon_ and he briefly wondered if that’s what they were going to take. It was technically Rey’s ship now, but she had obviously let Lando take it too.

“Ben!”

Kylo turned towards the sound of his name and saw Lando standing near a different ship. He gave the _Falcon_ one last look and went to join Lando.

“We’re ready to go,” Lando said. “Come on. I’ll show you around the _Lady Luck_.”

Kylo followed Lando on board his ship. It was much nicer than the _Falcon_ , at least. After a quick tour, Lando showed Kylo to his room and Kylo thought he’d just stay there until he was needed, but Lando insisted on bringing him to the bridge.

“You gotta meet our other crew member,” Lando said.

Kylo had forgotten about the fact that there was a third member on their mission. He hadn’t really paid attention to Dameron’s briefing. When Kylo was given the chance to get off planet for a while, he hadn’t cared about the details. He just wanted to go. Maybe he could get lost and not come back. All he knew about the mission was that it involved getting into a First Order facility.

When they got to the bridge, there was a young woman standing next to Artoo and looking at a console. She turned when they came in, smiled at Lando and then frowned at Kylo. She apparently knew who he was. Which meant it was going to be a long trip. Even Artoo didn’t acknowledge him.

“Jannah, this is Ben. Ben, Jannah.”

“Ben, is it?”

“Just call me Kylo,” he muttered.

“I’d prefer not to call you anything,” she said before looking to Lando. “Are you serious? This is who you want to bring?”

“I know he’s done some terrible things, but he’s helping us now. And who better to break into a First Order facility than the Supreme Leader?”

“Let’s just get this over with,” Jannah said, walking over to the pilot’s seat and sitting down.

“I’ll just be in my room,” Kylo said.

“Why don’t you stay here with us?” Lando suggested. “It’d be good to catch up.”

“You don’t want me here,” Kylo said. He left, not wanting Lando to waste his breath trying to convince him. Jannah clearly didn’t want to be around him and he doubted Lando really did either, but he was too polite to say it.

At least his bed was comfortable, and Kylo quickly found himself dozing off. It felt like he had just fallen asleep when a knock on the door woke him and he heard Lando on the other side of the door informing him that they had arrived.

Kylo crawled out of bed, stretching as he stood up. He started to look for a weapon but he quickly remembered that he didn’t have one. The Resistance didn’t trust him with any weapons, but he really didn’t need one. He had the Force.

He left his room and met Lando and Jannah at the entrance. They were armed and he couldn’t help but think Jannah might try to shoot him.

“There’s still a few people guarding the facility,” Lando said. “The goal is to not have to fight, so Ben, we’re counting on you to get us in.”

Kylo had no idea if anyone would listen to him. The First Order was as good as dead and he wasn’t their leader anymore. But if their conditioning had been done properly, then there was a chance they would simply obey without question. That would be ideal. He could easily use the Force to get inside, but that would take more effort.

They left the ship and Kylo saw they had landed right next to a First Order outpost. There were stormtroopers waiting right outside the ship, but they weren’t planning an attack. Instead, they simply stood at attention. An officer was walking quickly out of the building, coming to meet them.

“Supreme Leader,” she said. “We were not expecting you. What can we help you with?”

“I…” Kylo realized he had no idea what they were doing there. “Our mission here is none of your concern. Thank you, Major.”

He walked past her, paying attention in the Force for any sign that the Major or anyone else was planning on shooting him. That was going to make things easy. All they had to do was walk in , get what they needed and leave. Of course, Kylo had no idea what they were there for.

“We need to access the main computer,” Lando said. “Then Artoo can get what we need and we can get out of here.”

Kylo had no idea where to go, but Artoo found a computer terminal and managed to find a map of the building. They encountered a few more stormtroopers, but none of them bothered them.

“You can order everyone to leave the Order,” Jannah said once they made it to the main computer. It took Kylo a moment to realize she was talking to him.

“What?”

“Tell them the Order is done and that they should put down their weapons and go home if they know where it is. And if not, well, that’s why we’re here.”

“To tell them to go home?” That made no sense to Kylo. Why would they need the computer for that?

“No,” Lando said. “We’re trying to find out where every single child that was stolen by the Order came from. And we’re going to try to get all of them home. All of the stormtroopers here would be a good start.”

Kylo thought that was a ridiculous idea. There were so many stormtroopers that were taken as children that he couldn’t imagine trying to figure out where each one came from. But if Lando and Jannah wanted to waste their time, Kylo didn’t care.

“What am I supposed to say? Go home or get in line if you don’t know where it is? They won’t have any memories of their families.”

“But their families will remember them,” Lando said. “If we can reunite even one family, this will be worth it.” Artoo beeped and Lando nodded at him. “Artoo’s done. Let’s go.”

They left but as they were heading back to the _Lady Luck_ , Jannah stopped. She looked at Kylo, as if she were waiting for something, but Kylo didn’t know what.

“If you won’t do anything, I will.” She walked over to a group of four stormtroopers and Kylo could see them starting to move their weapons. They didn’t raise them, but they were ready for a fight.

“We really can’t leave them,” Lando said. Kylo thought it would be easy to just get back on the ship and leave, but clearly, they were going to be stubborn. If he wanted to leave anytime soon, then he would have to talk to the troopers.

“...Order is dead!” Jannah was saying as Kylo approached. “We can help you find your homes. All you need to do is put down your weapons. There’s no one -”

The troopers all looked at him and Jannah fell silent. Kylo looked between them, not sure what to say. But he knew there were more than four stormtroopers on the base. He might as well talk to everyone at once.

“Contact the major,” Kyo told them. “Tell her to bring everyone at this outpost outside.”

He could hear one of the troopers following his orders and making the call. Soon, more stormtroopers came outside as well as a few officers. Some were clearly off duty, but it wasn’t as if they were going to need their armor.

“The First Order is gone,” Kylo said. “You’re all free to do as you wish. You can come with us. Or. Whatever.”

“Not the most inspiring speech,” Jannah muttered before stepping forward. “I was one of you! A stormtrooper. But I was able to break free of my conditioning and all of you can do the same! You’re free!”

Several stormtroopers started to raise their weapons and Kylo quickly pulled them away with the Force. Clearly Jannah hadn’t thought that little speech through. Of course stormtroopers still loyal to the Order would take that as a confession.

“I don’t think they’re interested,” Kylo said.

“Then you can order them to come along,” Jannah said.

“Aren’t you trying to _free_ them? How is making them follow orders freeing them?”

“We can break their conditioning later,” Jannah said. “But we can’t help them if we leave them here.”

Kylo didn’t particularly care one way or the other. If they stayed or left, whether it was ordered or free will. None of it made a difference to Kylo. But if he did order them all to follow a rebel, Kylo thought they might turn on him. He wasn’t quite sure what part of their conditioning would win out - following orders or killing rebels.

“We should have brought Hux,” Jannah said. “At least he tries to be a decent person.”

That hurt. Kylo was trying to be a decent person. He wanted to do the right thing, but it seemed like no one ever noticed that. But Hux had everyone fooled. Well, Kylo would just have to prove that everyone was wrong.

“Get on the ship!” Kylo shouted at all the stormtroopers and officers standing in front of him. There was a brief moment of hesitation but then everyone started to move.

“What do you know? You actually were useful.” With that, Jannah boarded the ship as well, right behind the last officer. She still hated him, but maybe she hated him just a little less. And if he could get a former stormtrooper to hate him less, maybe there was some hope with Hux.

Kylo imagined that Hux might be waiting for him when he returned and that he would have read his note. He tried to imagine what Hux might say. He liked to think that Hux would say he was forgiven and ask him to talk. But even if Hux had read his note, Kylo knew it wouldn’t be that easy. But it was nice to imagine he would have a friend waiting for him when he got back.

***

“Thanks, Jannah. I’ll see you when you get back.”

Finn ended the call and then flopped down on the bed next to Rey. For a moment, neither of them said anything, but then Rey reached towards him. She lightly brushed against his fingers and he took her hand.

“Sounds like the mission went well,” Rey said. She hadn’t meant to listen in, but they were sharing a room and that sort of thing was unavoidable.

“Yeah. Sounds like we’ll have a lot of work cut out for us. Neither Jannah or I know how to break the conditioning, and I’m not sure giving them time is going to work surrounded by the Resistance.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Rey said.

“Yeah.” Finn paused and then sat up. “What about Hux? He might have some idea about how to fix this.”

“You’re right. Think we should have Poe ask him?”

“Poe? Why don’t we just ask him ourselves?”

“I think Armitage and Poe have a thing for each other.” That was another conversation she hadn’t meant to overhear, but from what it looked like, they liked each other.

“Poe and Hux?” Finn made a face. “I just can’t see it. Then again, I can’t really imagine anyone wanting to be with Hux.”

Rey couldn’t help but laugh. It was hard for her to picture as well, and she really couldn’t imagine someone as sweet as Poe with someone like Armitage who was his exact opposite in every way.

“We really should try to be more supportive,” Rey said. “If that’s who Poe wants to be with, we probably shouldn’t make fun of them too much.”

“Yeah. But Hux? Of all people, he wants to be with Hux?”

Rey shrugged. Finn was on to something there. Why would Poe want to be with Armitage all of a sudden? The last she knew, Poe liked Finn. She remembered Armitage’s comment about Poe being jealous of his friends. Rey didn’t know why Poe would feel that way. Not unless he thought there was something more going on between her and Finn.

That thought shed some doubt on the possibility of a relationship between the two. But Poe had to know what her relationship was with Finn. There was no reason to be jealous. She’d have to remember to talk to Poe about it at some point. But with a ship full of former stormtroopers on the way, that was going to have to wait.


	8. Chapter 8

By the time Hux had decided to chew Ren out over that stupid note, he was gone. When Dameron first said that, Hux thought it meant he was gone permanently. He must have looked happy because Dameron quickly explained that he was on a mission. That was disappointing.

At least Hux could be satisfied with the fact that Ren was on a different planet. He didn’t know anything about the mission, but Hux hoped it was dangerous. Of course, he’d been on plenty of dangerous missions before and returned unharmed, so Hux didn’t get his hopes up.

Only two days after Ren’s departure, Dameron barged into his office. Hux couldn’t help but jump at the sudden intrusion. He knew that no one with the Resistance was going to hurt him, but that was still an unusual situation for him. In the Order, someone bursting through a door meant they were angry and were planning on taking it out on him.

“Do you mind knocking?” Hux grumbled.

“Sorry, Hugs. Ren and the others just got back.”

“And you thought this was important to tell me? You could have sent a message.”

“They brought back a group of stormtroopers,” Dameron said. “We’re gonna need your help to break through their conditioning.”

“Oh. Well, then I suppose you do need me.” Hux really hadn’t expected to be needed for something so critical. The Resistance had mostly just ignored him. It was strange - but nice - to be needed.

“What are you waiting for?” Dameron grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him to his feet and pulled him out of his office. He kept a hold of him even as they headed outside. Hux wanted to pull his arm away, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

He’d tried to distance himself from Dameron after his offer of holding hands, but Hux found he couldn’t help himself. He realized he liked being touched so gently and although he would never ask for it, he wasn’t about to stop him. And so he found himself walking outside in front of what felt like the entire Resistance practically holding Dameron’s hand.

Skywalker and Finn were standing near an open area where a ship was just touching down, with several other people waiting as well. He noticed that both Skywalker and Finn, as well as several others, seemed to be staring at them a little more than was necessary. Hux told himself that he was just imagining it. Soon, everyone was focused on the ship and Hux felt better.

Ren was the first one off the ship, pausing for a moment at the bottom of the ramp before going to stand by Skywalker. Behind him came a group of people, some in partial stormtrooper armor and some wearing only the undersuit. Three people in First Order officer uniforms were also among them. Finally came two others. One Hux recognized as Lando Calrissian, but the other was a young woman Hux didn't know.

"You should probably go talk to them," Dameron said, letting go of his wrist. "Maybe let them know they're safe here or something."

"Are they?" Hux asked, but he knew it was a stupid question. The Resistance had accepted him. Of course they would welcome a bunch of troopers. Still, Hux had a hard time believing the Resistance was that decent.

He didn’t wait for a response from Dameron and walked forward. He’d expected the assembled group to snap to attention, as they must have recognized him despite not being in uniform. Instead, they just looked at each other and exchanged a few whispers.

“Is there a problem?” Hux asked as he came to stand in front of them. He focused his attention on the highest ranking officer, a major.

“We were told you were dead, sir,” she said.

“I’m clearly doing just fine.”

“We were also told that you were a traitor.” She glanced behind him, obviously seeing the Resistance personnel behind him. That was not an accusation he could so easily argue against. If they truly believed him a traitor, then he knew he was lucky no one had tried to attack him yet. They all at least seemed to be unarmed.

“The First Order was destroyed by Palpatine and Pryde,” Hux said. “I did turn against them, because that was not the Order I was raised to lead. And as you can see, even the Supreme Leader is here. Palpatine and Pryde are dead.”

“He’s not dead, sir,” the major said.

“What do you mean?” He’d heard the story countless times - Skywalker destroyed Palpatine and Dameron and the others destroyed the Sith fleet. 

“General Pryde’s been giving us orders.”

Hux was speechless. He’d seen Pryde’s name on the list of the dead. It was the name he had most wanted to see there and he’d checked several times just to make sure. The idea that he was still out there, leading Hux’s troops, was infuriating. He couldn’t let that go.

“He’s not anymore. You’re either with me and the Supreme Leader, or we can find a nice cell for you somewhere.”

He turned and walked away. Dameron might have had something different in mind when he sent him to talk to them, but now that he knew Pryde was still out there, finding him and killing him was the only thing that mattered. Of course he had to have an obstacle right away.

“Nice speech,” Ren said, stepping in his way. 

“Better than anything you could give.”

“What are you going to do about Pryde?”

“What makes you think I’m going to do anything?” Hux hadn’t thought that Ren had been close enough to hear. Maybe they’d mentioned Pryde to him on the way, or maybe the Force just let him hear things he shouldn’t. It didn’t really matter how Ren knew. Hux had no plans on discussing the matter with him.

“I know you, Hux. You hate the man. You’re going to kill him.”

“And why do you care?”

“I could help you.”

“As if I would need or want your help.”

“Just an offer.” Kylo walked past him, brushing his shoulder against him as he went. That had been a fairly typical way for Ren to leave a conversation, but this was almost a gentle shoulder bump. It almost felt nice.

***

The mission had been relatively simple, but Kylo still felt exhausted. He put it down to being on a ship with so many scared people. He’d been able to feel their distress in the Force and he hadn’t managed to tune it out. At least now he could at least put some distance between them.

His plan was to head to his quarters and sleep for a day or so. He didn’t want to talk to anyone or even see anyone. Especially not any of the new people they’d brought back. It had been awkward on the ship since they all saw him as their Supreme Leader and they kept looking at him like they expected something from him. That had been another exhausting aspect of the trip.

“Hey!”

Kylo stopped when he heard Rey calling him. She never called him by his name, but she had at least stopped calling him Ben. That was at least a start. He turned to see her running towards him.

“We’re still going to need your help,” she said once she caught up to him. “All of these new people need a place to stay. Can you show me where you’d been staying? Maybe we can use that for them.”

“There’s just empty rooms,” Kylo said. “But yeah. I can show you.”

He didn’t want to deal with Rey pestering him. If he didn’t do as she asked, she would. And she was right. The Resistance was short on space as it was and they needed somewhere for all of the troopers to stay. Hopefully it wouldn’t take too long.

Kylo led Rey towards the back. He had left the obstacles in the way as he hadn’t wanted anyone to be able to find him. Together with Rey, he cleared them easily, but this time, he left them out of the way.

“Is it even safe back here?” Rey asked as they moved some debris.

“I don’t know.” It had seemed secure enough to Kylo when he’d been living there, but for all he knew, that whole section of the base could collapse at any moment.

“Hopefully it’ll hold up,” Rey said. “I think the plan isn’t to have them stay here forever. Once we can break the conditioning, we want to return them to their homes.”

“I heard.” Hearing it from Rey didn’t make it sound any less ridiculous. Kylo assumed the data they had taken was everything they would need to learn where each trooper came from, but Kylo knew a lot of those troopers wouldn’t have families to go back to. Maybe the plan was to simply drop them off on their home planets and let them figure their lives out from there. It didn’t seem like the best plan, but Kylo wasn’t going to object.

“Do you know anything about the conditioning process? Anything that might help? Finn doesn’t exactly know how he broke free.”

“That was Hux’s project. I don’t know anything.”

“Poe said he’d get Hux on board to break the conditioning. Guess we’ll just have to rely on him.”

“Yeah.” They’d arrived to the room that he’d been staying in. There were still a few blankets that he hadn’t taken back to his quarters on the floor, but it was otherwise empty. “There’s a few more rooms like this.”

“This should work for now,” Rey said as she looked around the room. Not that there was much to see. It was just a big empty room.

“If we can get enough bedding, everyone would fit in this room,” Rey said. “We’ll work on making more permanent space too and that way if anyone wants to stay with us, they can. I wish it was a little more comfortable though.”

“They’re stormtroopers. They’re used to worse.”

“Just because they’re used to it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to give them the best we can. That’s your problem you know. You don’t care about anyone besides yourself. That’s why no one likes you.”

“Then why do you still talk to me?”

“Because someone has to and I’m your sister.” She punched him in the arm. “Would it be so hard to at least pretend you care?”

Kylo rolled his eyes. “Yeah. I can pretend.”

“Good,” Rey said with a smile. “Then you can start by making sure all our new people get settled in.”

That was the last thing he wanted to do, but he’d never hear the end of it from Rey. It was far from the first time he had to do something while exhausted. He always had the Force to draw on if he needed an extra kick of energy.

As it turned out, it was a good thing he went to help with the stormtroopers. They were all still standing outside with Finn trying to convince them that they didn’t have to follow anyone’s orders anymore, which was not going well. 

Kylo hated that he had to pretend to be the Supreme Leader, but he could manage for as long as it took. And if people like Finn and Jannah could break free of their conditioning on their own, it shouldn’t take Hux long to break it intentionally. 

His first order was that they were to listen to Finn and Dameron just as they would him. They looked uneasy about that, but no one argued. He probably could have left it at that and let Finn deal with them, but if there was any hesitation on their part, Kylo didn’t want to be bothered later. It would be better to just deal with the whole situation and make sure he wouldn’t be needed.

“What do I do with them?” Kylo asked Finn, keeping his voice down.

“Same thing that happened when you got here,” Finn said. “Get them supplies and show them around.”

“Uh,” Kylo tried to think of exactly where to go to do that. He’d gotten supplies on his own, but he couldn’t quite remember where to go.

“I’ll help,” Finn said with a sigh.

Kylo and Finn led the group to get them all the supplies they would need for a short stay. Knowing that they’d be on the floor, Kylo made sure they all had blankets and pillows as well as clothes and hygiene products. Then, Kylo showed them to their room and let them claim a spot on the floor. After that, Kylo thought he was done, but Finn asked him to go with him as he showed them around.

He probably could have left at that point but he could just imagine Finn complaining to Rey about walking off without showing the stormtroopers around. And if there were any problems, they would all definitely blame him.

Fortunately, it didn’t take long to show them around and Kylo finally managed to return to his quarters. He fell down on his bed and closed his eyes. Now that he was where he wanted to be, he didn’t plan on responding to anyone, no matter what happened.

Just as he was falling asleep, his door opened. He sat up, ready to chew out whoever interrupted his sleep, and if necessary, he would throw them out with the Force. Rey might have told him not to do that, but it wasn’t his fault if someone was coming into his quarters uninvited.

But when he saw who it was, Kylo froze, not sure what was happening.

Hux closed the door behind him and walked into the room. He stood there for several moments, silent and Kylo just waited. He had no idea what Hux wanted, but he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Hux no longer hated him.

“I want to kill Pryde,” Hux said.

“I know.”

“I’d prefer not to die doing it.”

“That makes sense.”

“Are you really going to make me ask?”

“I have no idea why you’re here.” That wasn’t entirely true. Kylo could guess, but he also wanted to hear Hux say it. He just stared at Kylo and for a moment, he thought that maybe he would just leave and forget about it.

“I could use your help,” Hux said eventually.

Kylo got up and went to stand in front of Hux. He could sense that he was afraid, but he didn’t flinch or back away. He looked into Hux’s eyes, briefly wondering if he had a knife and was about to get stabbed, but Hux just stood there, staring back.

“You hate me.”

“Yes.”

“So why ask for my help? Why not Rey or Finn or Dameron?”

“Because they won’t do whatever it takes. They won’t let me kill him. You will.”

“I wouldn’t think you would trust me to do this.”

“I don’t. The last time I had any faith in you, you nearly killed me. But I can’t figure out the reason for your recent behavior unless you actually are trying to make things up to me. Not that you can, but maybe I’ll hate you less.”

“You’ve never had any faith in me,” Kylo said, turning away from him. He hated to think of how much Hux had always despised him and he knew he might get emotional. He didn’t want Hux to see him cry.

“I did.” He spoke so softly that Kylo wasn’t even sure he’d spoken, but when he turned around, Hux continued. “I’d always admired your skills. After you killed Snoke - don’t look at me like that. I know you killed him. I walked into the throne room and knew that the two of us were the leaders of the Order. I thought… I thought we’d be able to work together. Lead together. And then…”

“I ruined it.” Kylo remembered the last time he’d read Hux’s mind, when he’d felt how much pain he’d suffered in his life. And he remembered that he’d sensed something else. Sorrow. Regret. It hadn’t made sense then, but now he understood.

“You did.”

Kylo walked back over to Hux and put his hands on his shoulders. When he reached for him, Hux flinched, just a bit, but enough that Kylo noticed. There was a time that Kylo could have been screaming in his face and shoving him and Hux wouldn’t have batted an eye. He hated that he was scared, although Hux would never admit it.

He knew Hux still hated him but Kylo couldn’t help himself. He put his arms around Hux and held him close. He could hear Hux swearing but he didn’t let go. Kylo wanted to hold him forever, but Hux pushed him away. Kylo thought that maybe his hands lingered on his chest, just a bit.

“What was that?” Hux growled angrily.

“I don’t know. I just wanted to. I know you probably don’t like being touched. Sorry.”

“It’s not that. I…” Hux reached out and touched Kylo’s upper arm. “I just don’t like to be touched by you.”

Kylo backed away from him, remembering that standing so close was probably making Hux uncomfortable. He didn’t want to make things worse, especially not when it seemed like things might get better between them.

“I’ll help you,” Kylo said, sitting down on his bed. “Whatever you need.”

“I’ll let you know.”

Hux left, leaving Kylo alone so he could finally sleep. But when he laid down, he found he was no longer tired. Instead, he couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Hux had asked for his help and even touched him.


	9. Chapter 9

Hux thought he might throw up. He had no idea what it was he was feeling, but he was certain he’d picked up some kind of disease. Probably from Ren since he had been talking to Ren when he first experienced the feeling and it got worse when Ren hugged him. Unfortunately, it had not gone away when he left.

He considered going to the medcenter, but it was probably nothing and he had work to do. Although he’d created the stormtrooper program, he’d never foreseen a need to undo the programming, so he wasn’t quite sure how to do it. He knew what would make the process weaker and less effective, but if it got to the point that they would be sent to reconditioning, then undoing it was no longer their problem.

Wanting a quiet place to think, Hux went to his office. He very quickly outlined the conditioning process and then started coming up with ways to undo it. Because everyone he was dealing with already had been through the program, he focused mainly on the aspects of life in the First Order that reinforced that conditioning. If he could break that down, then maybe there might be some success.

The nice thing about the Resistance was that they already provided an environment that was the opposite of what Hux would have wanted to maintain. Maybe that would speed along the process. Hux didn’t like leaving things to chance, however. He’d have to find a way to make sure the conditioning was broken.

Once the stormtroopers were taken care of, then Hux could focus on what was really important - finding Pryde and killing him. When he heard he’d been killed on the _Steadfast_ , Hux had been relieved, glad the man was gone. But he’d also been disappointed that he wouldn’t have a chance to kill Pryde himself. Now that he did have a chance, Hux wasn’t going to let anything stop him.

It would be impossible to hide the fact that he was alive from the Resistance. He couldn’t even be sure that someone hadn’t mentioned something already. That meant he’d have to figure out just where he was hiding and kill him before the Resistance found him. They’d try to bring him in alive. If they killed him, Hux knew that it would be from going down on a ship. That wasn’t good enough. He wanted to make him suffer.

With Ren on his side, Hux didn’t doubt that he’d succeed, although he had to wonder just what Ren would say to Skywalker about the situation. Would he admit to helping Hux get revenge just to get him in trouble? Hux didn’t doubt it. They’d let Ren’s involvement slide, of course. But it was too late to not include Ren, and as much as Hux hated to admit it, he would be very useful. And if in the end, he was locked up, then it would still be worth it.

Not wanting to think of Ren, Hux focused on the first part of his plan. He needed to talk to the major to find out everything she knew. It likely wasn’t much, but any small piece of information could end up being useful. They weren’t technically prisoners so Hux didn’t think there would be any problem if he spoke to them. The only question was if he should try to be secretive about it.

In the end, he couldn’t even find the major or any of the group that had come with her. He’d had to ask Dameron and he had questions. Hux quickly had to make up a reason as to why he wanted to speak to them, so he claimed he just wanted to start the deconditioning process. That had been an acceptable answer. Except Dameron insisted on going with him.

“Anyone want to volunteer for something?” Dameron asked once they’d entered a large room. It looked like the entire group of stormtroopers was there, and from the blankets on the floor, it looked as if that’s where they were going to be staying. That meant Hux could come back later to ask his real questions.

“I don’t think they like you,” Hux said before addressing the others. “If any of you feel like your conditioning is starting to slip, we can help you. I just need to know who.”

Again, everyone was silent, which made sense. No one would ever admit to such a thing. But sometimes, just bringing it up was enough and Hux saw one young man who looked a bit uncomfortable about the whole thing.

“You,” Hux said, pointing to him. “Come with me.”

The man looked scared but he stepped forward and Hux led him out into the corridor. They really didn’t need to go anywhere special, but Hux needed more time to think of a way to start the process.

“Where should we do this?” Hux asked Dameron.

“Do you need anything specific?” Dameron asked.

“Not really. We’re just going to talk.”

“Well, might as well make it comfortable. We’ll go to one of the lounges. I’ll make sure we have it to ourselves.”

As they walked over, Hux decided on his course of action. The conditioning process was meant to strip individuality, to make each trooper one part of the whole to the extent that they did not see themselves as existing without the Order. That’s where Hux would start, by trying to give this trooper his individuality back.

“What’s your name?” Hux asked when they sat down at a table.

“RK-5291, sir.”

“Do you have a nickname? Something your squadmates call you?” Hux was well aware that it was fairly common for the stormtroopers to do such things. It had been one thing Hux couldn’t get rid of, but overall, it hadn’t been a big enough problem to worry about. 

“No, sir.”

“You don’t have to call me sir,” Hux said. “You’re not a stormtrooper and I’m not a general.”

He looked uncomfortable at that idea. It was probably too much, too soon. If his only identity was as a stormtrooper, then taking that away could cause distress.

“Guess we should get him a name,” Dameron said. “Arkie?”

“There is a process of assigning names,” Hux said. “Your method will not work as the rest of his squad is probably here as well. And what are you going to do? Call all of them Arkie?”

“Then what’s your suggestion?”

“Give me a moment.” On occasion, a stormtrooper would rise into the officer ranks, and in that case, they would be assigned a name. They had a computer simply spit out a few variations and one would be selected. But even without the computer, Hux could come up with a name in his head. He’d built the program, after all.

“Rochae Kedeo,” Hux said. “If you don’t like the name, feel free to change it however you see fit.”

“How did you even get that?” Dameron asked. 

“Kedeo,” Hux said, ignoring Dameron. The trooper looked nearly terrified at being addressed by a name. “Are there others from your squad here?”

“Yes, s-” He stopped himself and looked around nervously. “Um yes.”

“I assumed as much. Normally, they’d all end up with somewhat different names, but since all of you are being given names at once, I suppose you could share yours if you’d like. But we can assign everyone their own unique surname as well if that’s what they prefer. I’ll leave that to you to sort that out.”

“You guys can move around the base,” Dameron said. “You don’t have to stay in that one room. We’re all here to help you, so let us know if you need anything.”

The trooper - Kedeo - looked at Hux as if he were waiting for him to say something in response, but he only shrugged.

“Don’t look at me. It’s up to you whether or not you want to listen to him. You’re free to go, by the way.”

Kedeo got up and left quickly. Overall, that had gone as well as expected. Hux had planned on talking to him a bit more, but that had likely been a little much for the man. Hopefully he would tell the others what had happened and they’d at least be prepared. If he was really lucky, they’d name themselves so Hux wouldn’t have to bother.

“Was that good or bad?” Dameron asked as he sat on the table in front of him.

“Good, I think.” He wasn’t quite sure, but he thought it was a good start. But only time would tell. 

“It was different with Finn,” Dameron said. “He was excited to get away from the First Order and have a name.”

“He broke through his conditioning,” Hux said. “All of these people have not. For them, we are taking everything they have ever known. It won’t be an easy process.”

“I’m glad you’re here to help,” Dameron said. He put a hand on his shoulder, but Hux stood up. He didn’t get very far because Dameron grabbed his arm. “Is something wrong?”

“No.” He tried to pull away, but Dameron didn’t let go. 

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” Dameron said, standing up and putting his arms around him. “I know this must be a lot for you.”

Hux was surprised by the hug but he didn’t push him away. Unlike when Ren had hugged him, Hux didn’t feel like he was being attacked. As much as he didn’t like Dameron, he couldn’t deny he felt safe around him. And he really did like being hugged.

Dameron pulled away just enough that he could look up at Hux, but he kept his arms around him. “If this is too much for you,” he said, “you don’t have to do it. We can figure this out on our own.”

“I’m fine.” He really wasn’t, but he wasn’t about to explain to Dameron about how he felt about Pryde still being out there. Or about having to work with Ren.

“Armitage.” Dameron put a hand on his cheek and started to lean in closer. Hux didn’t move, not quite believing what was happening. There were centimeters between their lips when Hux put a hand on Dameron’s chest and pushed him away.

“Don’t.”

“Why not? You like it, don’t you?”

“I don’t need pity from you, Dameron. I know you don’t like me. You want Finn. So instead of wasting all this time with me, why don’t you go talk to him?”

Hux walked out of the room, not giving Dameron a chance to respond. He hated that he’d likely have to go without any more of Dameron’s gentle touches, but it was for the best. If he really wanted a hug, Ren was apparently willing to give them.

Hux really didn’t want another hug from Ren, but he couldn’t stop thinking about those strong arms around him.

***

Kylo thought that he’d see more of Hux around after agreeing to help, and he’d been looking forward to it. Hux still hated him, but it seemed like he was starting to soften up just a little. Kylo knew that if Hux would give him a chance, he could prove to him that he wouldn’t hurt him again.

But Hux never came by. 

After a couple of days, Kylo decided he was going to find him. He went to his office, but he wasn’t there. He even checked Rey’s quarters, because as far as he knew, he was still staying there. He wasn’t there either. Not knowing what else to do, Kylo just wandered around the base, hoping he might find him.

When he couldn’t find Hux, Kylo started to suspect he left the base. But he couldn’t imagine the Resistance would allow that. Not unless he had a mission somewhere. So far, they seemed to like him staying in one place, but maybe they needed him somewhere else. 

Eventually, Kylo grew tired of looking around and sat down outside. He reached out with the Force, looking for that familiar presence. There were so many people which made it a little more difficult. Looking for Hux on a First Order ship had been easier - although there were more people, many of them didn’t stand out in the Force, making it easier to find Hux.

Soon, he found just what he was looking for. Hux’s Force presence was relatively strong for a non-Force sensitive and it always reminded Kylo of a prickly plant. He felt like if he got too close, he’d feel the sharp thorns in him, although that wasn’t possible. Still, Kylo didn’t push too hard towards him. All he’d needed to do was find out if he was still there.

“You’re making people nervous.”

Kylo opened his eyes and found Rey standing over him. He hadn’t even realized she had approached. Obviously, Hux was a distraction. He stared at her, then remembered she had said something.

“What?”

“You’ve been wandering around and people are nervous.”

“So I’m not allowed to walk around anymore?”

“No, but do you think you could do it in a less threatening way?”

“I’m not threatening.”

“You are.” She sat down next to him. “I know you’re probably not trying to be, but a lot of people have trouble looking past who you used to be. I just thought you should know in case you can think of anything that might put people at ease.”

“They’re going to hate me forever. I’ve done too much.”

“It’ll get better. You just have to give everyone a chance to see who you are now.”

Kylo looked over at her, knowing exactly where she was going with that line of thought. “I don’t even know who I am. And don’t say Ben. He died with his father.”

“I haven’t given up on Ben. Han never did.”

Kylo couldn’t argue that point. His father had cared about him and loved him until the end, which had made it all the worse. It would have been easier if Han said he hated him and what he’d become. But then, had Kylo not been so torn up, maybe he never would have killed Snoke. He wasn’t sure if that would have been better or worse.

“So were you walking around for any particular reason?” Rey asked after a while.

“I was looking for Hux.”

“I thought I told you to leave him alone.”

“He came to me,” Kylo said. “Asked me to help him.”

“Well, that’s good. He’s been working with the stormtroopers you brought back. I think he’s with Poe in one of the lounges.”

“Thanks,” Kylo said, standing up. 

“If you see Poe, can you tell him that Finn and I need to talk to him?”

“Sure.” That would help him as well if her information was correct. He needed to talk to Hux alone, so that would provide a convenient excuse to get Dameron out of the room. As he was walking through the base, he realized he should have asked her if she knew which lounge, as there were a few, but if they were talking to the stormtroopers, then it would make sense that they were in the one closest to where they were living.

That turned out to be the right call. He walked into the lounge to find Dameron laying down on the couch and Hux talking to a woman at a table. It took Kylo a moment, but he then recognized her as the major that had come back with him. She looked different out of uniform.

“Hey,” Dameron said, standing up and getting in Kylo’s way. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to Hux.”

“We’re in the middle of something,” Dameron said. 

“Rey and Finn need to talk to you.”

“Of course they do,” he said with a sigh. He glanced over to Hux. “Hey, once you finish up with her, I think it might be a good time for a break. Looks like I’m needed elsewhere.”

“You’re not needed here,” Hux said. “All you do is sleep on the couch.”

“I’m collecting data,” he said as he headed for the door. He paused and looked between Kylo and Hux. “You two aren’t going to start a fight, are you?”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Kylo muttered. But with Hux, it was impossible to know for sure. Even if they were going to be working together, Kylo imagined it would be rough at times.

“Well, if you do, think you can manage to do it quietly?”

Dameron left and Kylo approached Hux, but kept his distance. He could sense that both he and the major were nervous. Just like Rey said. People were afraid of him.

“That was oddly good timing, Ren,” Hux said before turning his attention to the major. “We need to know everything about Pryde.”

“I never knew much,” she said. “He transmitted orders as needed, but we never knew where he was sending them from. The rumors we got were that he found a Star Destroyer and has made that his base of operations.”

“Are you sure there’s nothing else?” Hux asked. “I’d hate for Ren to have to pull that information from you.”

“I’m sure,” she said, glancing nervously towards Kylo. “He rarely communicated with us. We usually only received updates about what was happening in the Order. Things like battles that were recently won.”

“And where was the most recent battle he said they won?” Hux asked.

“It was…” she trailed off and looked a bit lost in thought. “Mallen, I believe.”

“Thank you,” Hux said. “You’re free to go.”

Once she left, Hux stood up and took a few steps towards Kylo. For a moment, he thought that Hux would touch him again, but he remained just out of arm’s reach. Kylo glanced behind him at the table and noticed he didn’t have any tea. That didn’t seem right. 

Kylo went over to the counter where the caf maker was and pressed a button for hot water. He then pulled the tea out from a drawer. After putting the tea in the water, he handed it to Hux, keeping enough distance between them so he wouldn’t make Hux nervous.

“So this is where you’ve been getting the tea from,” Hux said as he reached out to take the cup.

“Yeah.”

“Well, now that I know, I suppose I can start making it myself since I doubt you’ve learned how to do things properly.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Making Hux tea had been the one nice thing he could do for Hux, but now, he didn’t even have that. The only thing he had left to offer was to help him kill Pryde.

They stood in silence for several minutes. Hux pulled the tea bag out and disposed of it before he looked at Kylo again. He took a sip of his tea and then set the cup down.

“We know where to start our search,” he said. “The hard part will by getting a ship.”

“There’s plenty of ships around here,” Kylo said. “I can fly.”

“Yes, but do you really think that we won’t be tracked? We can disable it, but I’m not risking everything and assuming they don’t have a secondary tracking device. Once we leave, they’ll be after us.”

“So what’s your plan? Just catch a ride on the next passenger ferry? We’ll be waiting a long time.”

“Don’t be stupid.” Hux took a sip of tea before continuing. “We’ll have to take a ship from here and abandon it as soon as possible. Then we’ll have to get a new ship. It might be best to switch ships a couple of times just to make it harder if they do try to follow us.”

Kylo couldn’t help but groan. While he was fairly certain he would have no problem getting them a new ship, he didn’t want to waste time going to a bunch of different systems. Hux was right though - the Resistance would try to follow them. 

“Maybe they’ll just assume we killed each other,” Kylo said. “Then they won’t bother looking.”

“We could try to fake our deaths,” Hux said thoughtfully. “But I’m not sure we could pull that off convincingly enough with the resources at our disposal. We’ll change ships a few times, then rendezvous with the _Finalizer_. That’s our best option.”

“You don’t think anyone’s going to notice a Star Destroyer?” It seemed like keeping a low profile was going to be their best best, and a Star Destroyer was anything but low profile.

“We want Pryde to notice,” Hux said. “If he sees us as a threat, which he will, he’ll come after us. All we need to do is make sure he knows we’re there. And I think the _Finalizer_ is the best choice for that mission.”

“What about the damage? Repairs weren’t complete.”

“She’s functional enough,” Hux said. “And I think if I sacrifice a few less than necessary systems, I can get the important things fully functional.”

Kylo could see many ways the plan could go wrong. If the _Finalizer_ wasn’t in good enough shape, if the crew was no longer loyal to Hux, if she’d taken further damage, if Hux couldn’t get her combat ready… but he didn’t voice his concerns. He knew what the ship meant to Hux and if that’s what he wanted to do, then Kylo was going to support him. 

“When do we leave?”

“In a few days, at the earliest. I’d like to try to see if I can find some spare parts that I might need, as well as record a detailed plan on how to keep the deconditioning process going.”

“I didn’t think you cared.”

“I don’t. Not really. However, at some point, the Resistance is going to catch up to us. I’m considering coming back, actually, and if they think that I actually want to help, then they might not be too upset about this.”

“You… want to come back?” Kylo had assumed that once Pryde was killed, they would simply disappear. Or at least, Hux would. Kylo liked to imagine that Hux would take him too, but he knew he’d have to prove himself. 

“I know the Resistance won’t stop looking for me, and all things considered, they have been rather good to me.”

“I would think you would hate it.” The only thing that Hux could possibly like about anyone was how easy they were to manipulate. Even so, Kylo would have thought he would want to get away from them.

“I do. All the chaos and disorder is atrocious and I can’t stand any of these people. Dameron and Skywalker aren’t too terrible, I suppose, but I could do without them.”

“Skywalker?” It took Kylo a moment to realize who he meant by that, and he couldn’t help but find it strange. “Why are you calling her that?”

“It’s her name, isn’t it?”

Kylo shrugged. He knew that she was certainly more an heir to everything his family had stood for, but the name only ever made him think of his uncle. “I just call her Rey.”

“I’m afraid I’m not on a first name basis with anyone here.”

“They call you Armitage,” Kylo said, barely holding back a laugh. Hux glared at him. 

“I’d prefer they not call me anything, but if they want to pretend I’m their friend, then I won’t stop them. As annoying as it is, at least it means they’re less likely to kill me as soon as I’m inconvenient.”

“They wouldn’t.”

“Why wouldn’t they? The only reason to keep me around is because I’m useful.”

Kylo opened his mouth to argue, but he quickly shut it, as he realized something very important about Hux. His entire life had been about making himself invaluable so that enemies would be hesitant to try to dispose of him. He’d never been in a place where he could just be. And while the Resistance was definitely keeping him around because he could help, Kylo knew they wouldn’t just kill him. Hux didn’t know that. He couldn’t know that because the idea of being allowed to live while not being useful was unknown to him.

Kylo knew he had contributed to that feeling. Hux had always been certain that Kylo would kill him and he’d always been trying to show him that he was needed. 

“Hux. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“That you’ve lived like this your whole life. In constant fear. Worrying about who would try to kill you.”

“Save it,” Hux said before Kylo could finish. “I don’t need your pity.”

He sounded angry, but Kylo could feel that he was sad as well. Kylo had the sudden urge to hug him, hold him close and tell him that no one would ever hurt him again. He knew that would only make Hux more worried, but he found himself stepping closer to him anyway.

“What are you doing, Ren?”

“I…” Kylo couldn’t admit what he really wanted to do - that he wanted to make Hux feel better. He knew Hux would only laugh in his face and hate every moment that he held him. Of course Hux didn’t want comfort from him. He was a monster, one who had hurt him.

Instead of saying anything else, Kylo turned and left the room.

***

Poe immediately went to find Rey and Finn. If they sent Ren to find him, it must have been something important. He hated to think of what sort of bad news they might have learned. Had Darth Vader returned? Poe was at the point he could believe just about anything.

“What’s going on?” he asked when he found the two Jedi.

“Everything’s fine,” Finn said. “But we need to talk.”

Finn led them to his quarters. His and Rey’s quarters, now that Rey was staying with him indefinitely. Poe tried not to think too much about it. As much as he liked Finn, they were also friends and he wanted him to be happy. Even if it wasn’t with him. 

“Do you and Armitage have a thing going on?” Rey asked once everyone sat down.

“A thing?”

“Like a romantic thing?”

“No,” Poe said, shaking his head.

“It’s okay if you do,” Finn said. “It’s a little weird, but you’re our friend and we’ll support you no matter what.”

“No, there’s really nothing going on between us.” That was the truth, although not for lack of trying. “I might have tried to see if he was interested, but he wasn’t. And I really wasn’t that interested in him.”

“So why try?” Finn asked. “I mean, with all people, why him?”

Poe just shrugged. “He was there? He’s really not my type.”

“Your type is more like Finn,” Rey said. Poe wondered if she had read his mind, but he hadn’t felt anything. Maybe he hadn’t kept that a secret as well as he thought.

“Yeah,” he said with a sigh. There really was no point in denying it. He might as well come clean. “I really do like you Finn. But I know you and Rey have a thing that I’ll never understand. I’m not going to try to come between you either. And I am happy for you.”

“What are you talking about, Poe?” Rey asked. “Finn and I aren’t together.”

“You’re not?” That was a surprise. He had been so certain that they were together. “But you’re always together. And you share a bed?”

“Yes, but we’re just friends,” Rey said, glancing at Finn. “Not that I would be opposed to something more.”

“Wait,” Finn said, looking between them. “Do the both of you like me? In that kind of way?”

Poe nodded and he could see Rey doing the same. If she liked him, then Poe knew Finn would pick her. They were much closer after all. 

“I didn’t know,” Finn said. “I guess it doesn’t make things any easier, because I like both of you.”

“Wait,” Poe said. “This entire time, I’ve liked you and Rey’s liked you and you’ve liked both of us? And none of us bothered to say anything?”

Poe couldn’t help but laugh. It was a ridiculous situation, and even though Poe knew he was going to lose, it was still a bit funny. Finn and Rey joined in the laughter as well.

“Well, now that we’ve cleared that up,” Poe said, standing up, “I’ll just leave you two alone.”

“Wait.” Finn and Rey spoke together. Poe turned and saw that Finn was walking over to him. Rey also stood up, and the three of them just looked at each other for a few moments.

“I really don’t want to pick between the two of you,” Finn said. “I love both of you and I don’t want this to drive a wedge between us.”

“So what’s your plan?” Poe asked. “We all just stay the way we are? All three of us just stay single?”

“Or,” Rey said, moving to stand between the two of them. “All three of us together.”

“I like that idea,” Finn said with a smile.

“Are you serious?” Poe asked. Finn grabbed Poe’s hand and Rey’s hand. Poe glanced at Rey and she held her hand out to him. He wasn’t quite sure how to respond - he’d never been in that sort of relationship before, but he couldn’t deny that it seemed nice.

Poe took Rey’s hand.


	10. Chapter 10

Hux knew what he had to do, but he found the idea terrifying. It was avoidable for at least a little while, but Hux knew he needed to face his fears. He’d done it countless times before, and as much as he wanted to be done with needing to deal with the worst people in the galaxy, he knew he could do it again.

He knew the exact words he needed to say, and he repeated them to himself as he walked around the base to find Skywalker. It would be easy enough to say and with any luck, she wouldn’t question him too much.

“Skywalker,” he called, getting her attention once he found her. She was with the generals, but it looked like they were having a friendly conversation rather than discussing important matters. She turned and smiled at him.

“Hi, Armitage,” she said. “Did you need something?”

“Yes. I wanted to let you know that you can have your quarters back. Ren and I have come to an understanding. I appreciate your hospitality.”

Once he said exactly what he needed to say, he turned and left. It was done. He no longer had his own quarters and had no choice but to share with Ren. Which was still a terrifying thought, but Hux needed to get used to it. After all, for their plan to work, he would be on a ship alone with Ren. He needed to get used to being in close quarters with him.

“Wait!” Skywalker called. Hux was tempted to keep walking, but for a Jedi, Skywalker wasn’t that bad. He could at least tolerate her, unlike most other members of the Resistance. 

Hux stopped and turned back to face her. Unfortunately, Dameron and Finn seemed very interested in the conversation as well. Hux would have preferred to only talk to Skywalker. Or just Dameron. One on one, Hux could handle them.

“Are you sure?” She put a hand on his arm. “Is everything all right? Is he blackmailing you?”

“What? No!” He couldn’t believe Skywalker was questioning him. He would have thought she would be happy to get her quarters back.

“You didn’t even want to see him a few days ago. Why did you suddenly change your mind?”

“I…” Hux had to think fast. He hadn’t thought he would need an excuse. “I realized that the two of us are stuck here together. I may hate him, but that’s nothing new. We managed to get along before and we can do it again.”

“Hey,” Dameron said, coming to stand next to Skywalker, “you don’t have to do this. After what you told us, we’re more than happy to keep the two of you separate.”

“And I really don’t need those quarters anymore,” Skywalker said. “I can get the rest of my things and you can stay there.”

“No,” Hux said, hating how nice they were. It was obnoxious, really. “I need to learn to deal with him, but thank you.”

Not wanting to wait for any further discussion, Hux turned and walked away quickly. That had been harder than expected. He’d wanted to take Skywalker’s offer and stay away from Ren until he had no other choice. But he’d made up his mind. 

The other benefit to sharing quarters with Ren was that it would be easier to discuss their plans. Although they had the basics figured out, Hux wanted to go over everything until he knew they could execute it perfectly. Ren, of course, would want to simply charge in without thought, but they’d already established that Hux was in charge of the mission and they would be doing everything his way.

Hux went to Skywalker’s quarters and quickly collected up his clothes and datapad. They were the only things he had. He tried not to think about how little he owned and he wondered if he’d ever be allowed to have more. He doubted it - once he left to track down Pryde, he knew there was a high chance of the Resistance locking him up.

Hux really wasn’t sure what he should do once his mission was completed. Disappearing was the most appealing option - he’d never have to see Ren or the Resistance again. At least, he wouldn’t if he was lucky. They’d come looking for him. He’d likely have to leave the _Finalizer_ as she was far too conspicuous. 

Ren would also be a problem. Hux suspected that he would take the first opportunity to run home. He would tell the Resistance everything. And in order to get back in their good graces, he would tell them everything and likely help them track him down. Hux did not want to be on the run from Kylo Ren the rest of his life.

As much as he hated the idea, he would need to go back to the Resistance when he was done. Which meant he needed to make sure that he left on the best possible terms. He would finish writing the details of the deconditioning process and let the Resistance know exactly what he was doing without giving away where to find him.

When he returned, hopefully they would understand why he had to leave. And if they did lock him up, at least he wouldn’t be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life. It would be worth it in the end.

He returned to his old quarters and immediately saw a problem. Ren was in his bed. He’d seen him sitting there before, but he thought it was only out of convenience. Now he realized that Ren had been sleeping on the bottom bunk. That was unacceptable.

“Ren.” That got his attention and he rolled over to look at him. “You’re in my bed.”

“Just take the top,” Kylo said. “I’ve been sleeping here longer than you ever did.”

“I don’t like the top.” He felt more vulnerable there. Too easy for Ren or someone else to trap him.

“Neither do I.” Ren sat up and stared at him for a few moments. “We could share the bottom?”

“You’re an idiot.” There was barely enough room for Ren on the bed. There was no way they could both fit, even if Hux wanted to share, which he certainly did not. 

“Yeah, well, I got the bottom.”

“Why do you have to be so difficult? What happened to trying to get along?”

“Why is it such an issue?” Ren was raising his voice. Not quite yelling, but Hux doubted it would take long to escalate. “It’s just a bed!”

“If it’s just a bed then why can’t you switch?”

“Because I was here first!”

“You are such a child!” 

“You’re the one who started this argument!”

“Damn it, Ren! We’re supposed to be getting along! It didn’t even take a minute for you to start shouting!”

“It’s not my fault! You could have just taken the top like a normal person! But you decided to fight instead!”

“You’re the one who turned this into a fight!”

“I was trying to sleep! You -” Ren suddenly fell silent, and Hux assumed it was some strange Force thing, but then he started laughing. Hux had heard Kylo laugh before, usually when he was mocking him, but this was different. It was genuine laughter. 

“What’s so funny?” Hux snapped.

“This. Us. We said we would work together. And we immediately got into an argument. Over something that doesn’t matter. It’s nice, actually. Like old times.”

Ren smiled as he spoke, and then, to Hux’s surprise, he stood up and climbed up to the top bunk. Hux had really thought that he was going to have to right back to Skywalker’s quarters, because he was not going to budge on that issue.

“You know what would help?” Ren asked as Hux laid down on his bed. Hux didn’t care but Ren continued talking anyway. “You could have just asked. Instead of demanding.”

“This bed stinks,” Hux said, ignoring Ren’s words. He knew it wouldn’t have been that simple and they would have fought even if he had asked. Now he was left with the problem of getting the sheet’s clean of Ren’s stink.

“I’m going to my office,” Hux said, standing up. “I think I may just spend the night in there.”

He knew he could ask Skywalker for one more night in her quarters, and since she said she didn’t need them back, Hux was fairly certain it wouldn’t be a problem. But he didn’t want to admit that he had failed so quickly. And he hadn’t failed - he just needed more time to adjust to the idea of living with Ren. So he would spend the night on the floor in his office and then he would wash his bedding and go back to his quarters. With Ren.

Hux made a mental note to make sure that whatever ship they ended up taking had multiple crew quarters. He needed at least a wall between him and Ren.

***

Kylo knew that Hux had planned on coming back to their quarters, but he hadn’t expected him so soon. Or for him to start an argument. Kylo hadn’t even considered what was happening - it was so natural to argue with Hux he hadn’t stopped himself. He didn’t realize how serious Hux had been either.

It hadn’t sunk in until Hux left that he hadn’t just been arguing for the sake of arguing. Kylo didn’t care about whether he had the top or bottom bunk. He’d been sleeping on the bottom only out of convenience. Had Hux asked, he would have gladly moved.

Now, Kylo felt like he had ruined what he hoped would become a better relationship. Hopefully Hux would forgive him, but considering how much else Kylo had to make up for, the last thing he needed was to add to that list. 

At least he knew what he had done this time. And maybe he could fix the problem. He jumped to the floor and using the Force, he pulled the sheets from the lower bunk. Kylo hadn’t given it much thought before, but now he realized he hadn’t seen any housekeeping droids. Had those sheets been unwashed the entire time he’d been there?

There had to be some kind of laundry facility somewhere, but once Kylo stepped outside his quarters, he felt stupid. He didn’t want to ask some random person where the laundry was. They’d laugh at him. And Kylo didn’t know if he could keep his anger in check. If he couldn’t do that, he’d end up with a lecture from Rey, which was ridiculous. He shouldn’t be lectured by a twenty year old.

Cursing under his breath, he decided that he would just walk around until he found the laundry facilities. Had it been a First Order base, it would have been easy enough as they were built in a logical manner. The Resistance, however, was using an old abandoned building. There was no sense to where they put things.

He knew he looked stupid walking around with a bundle of sheets but at least everyone went out of their way to avoid him. At least, almost everyone. 

“Ren!”

Kylo groaned when he heard Dameron calling his name. Of course one of the few people who would speak to him would see him while he looked ridiculous. At least that meant he could just ask where the laundry was.

“I need to wash these,” Kylo said.

“Yeah? Well you’re going the wrong way.” Dameron stared at him for a moment as if he were trying to figure him out, but then he came to a realization. “You don’t know where you’re going, do you?”

“No.”

“Come on then,” Dameron said with a sigh. “I’ll show you.”

Kylo followed him and tried to pay attention to where he was going. He hadn’t even thought about needing to wash his own things as he’d had housekeeping droids while in the First Order. That would have been a helpful thing to mention when he’d first arrived, and he couldn’t help but wonder if it had been intentional on Dameron’s part.

“You know, I’m guessing that it’s not entirely your terrible personality that’s keeping people away,” Dameron said. “It’s the way you smell since you apparently haven’t washed your clothes since you’ve been here.”

Kylo only shrugged. He knew that wasn’t true, but he didn’t particularly care what he smelled like. He knew that he’d done far worse before - missions that had lasted weeks without a change of clothes or the ability to shower. 

The downside to having relied on housekeeping droids was that he had no idea how to operate any of the machines. He could see where to put the sheets, but he had no idea what to do then. He simply stared at the machine, hoping he could figure it out. 

“Seriously? Have you never done laundry?”

“I was the Supreme Leader of the First Order. You think I wasted time doing laundry?”

“That was for one year,” Dameron pointed out. “You’ve had plenty of time in your life to figure out how to wash your clothes.”

“I was busy doing other things,” Kylo muttered.

“Right, well, all you need to do is tell the machine what you’re washing and hit the start button.” He pointed to a slider and then a large button. “For the most part everyone’s using the same settings, so all you have to do is start it.”

Kylo felt stupid. Now that Dameron explained how it worked, he realized it really was pretty simple. He pushed the button to start the machine and he could hear it starting up. At least he knew where the laundry was and how to use it.

“It takes an hour,” Dameron said. “Fortunately, these machines wash and dry your clothes, so all you need to do is come pick them up.” He lightly kicked the other side of the machine. “They’ll be on this side.”

“Thanks,” Kylo muttered. With the sheets being washed, Kylo had nothing else to do so he thought he’d return to his quarters to wait.

“Hey,” Dameron called before he could get very far. Kylo stopped and turned around. “I actually needed to talk to you about something besides laundry.”

Kylo didn’t like the sound of that. Anytime someone needed to talk to him, it was always something bad. And usually involving Hux. Maybe he was having his quarters reassigned. He wouldn’t be surprised, but he wondered what that meant for the future of him and Hux working together.

“Heard there was another fight between you and Armitage,” Dameron said.

“He started it,” Kylo grumbled.

“Yeah, I really don’t care. He said that the two of you came to an understanding. To me, that means the two of you aren’t going to be fighting every time you’re in the same room. I don’t want to hear about it again, okay?”

“Tell that to Hux.”

“He already knows. Like I said, I don’t care who starts what. One of you needs to learn how to grow up and walk away.”

“Whatever.” Kylo knew that wouldn’t happen. They’d been fighting with each other since the day they’d met. Although Kylo rarely started the arguments, he couldn’t just let Hux win. And Hux never knew when to quit. As much as he wanted to get along with him, Kylo knew they would always fight.

“One more thing,” Dameron said before Kylo could leave. “I’m going to get you a fresh set of clothes and then I want you to wash everything else you have. And please, Ren. Keep up on doing your laundry.”

Kylo didn’t say anything. He only turned and walked away. It would be good to have some fresh clothes and finally be able to wash his old ones. He returned to his quarters and gathered up all his clothes that he had spread around in order to let them air out. Right as he had finished, there was a knock on the door and he opened it to find Dameron. As promised, he had new clothes for him.

“Here you are,” he said as he tried looking behind Kylo, but Kylo was taller than Dameron and broad enough to fill most of the doorway. “Remember. No more fighting.”

“Okay, _mom_ ,” Kylo said, rolling his eyes. He took the clothes and shut the door in Dameron’s face. Only afterwards did he think that he should have been a little nicer. After all, Dameron had helped him out. But he still hated him.

He took off his clothes and added them to the pile, but he decided to take a shower before putting the new clothes on. It would be nice to be completely clean for the first time since coming to the Resistance.

Finally clean, he took his dirty clothes to the laundry and started washing them in the machine next to the sheets. There was something in the drier portion of the machine, so Kylo pulled that out and tossed it on the floor. If they didn’t want that to happen, they should have retrieved their clothes on time.

There wasn’t much time left on the sheets by the time he had started the second machine, so he decided to wait. Once the machine beeped, Kylo pulled the sheets out and returned to his quarters. The other thing he hadn’t done in a long time was make his own bed. The last time he’d made his bed had been when he’d been at the Jedi Temple. He’d never liked to do it, as he didn’t see the point when he was just going to sleep in it again the next night, but it wasn’t difficult.

Still, he couldn’t help but feel like something was off after he’d fixed up Hux’s bed, but he had no idea what it was or how else he could possibly put sheets on a bed in a different way. If something was wrong, he knew Hux would complain, but Kylo decided not to worry about it. Maybe Hux would be happy that Kylo bothered to try at all.

He went to retrieve his clothes from the laundry before someone came in and threw his stuff all over the floor. After he had his things back in his quarters, he only had one thing left to do - get Hux to come back to see what he’d done, which was likely going to be the hardest thing to do.

Kylo went to Hux’s office and knocked on the door. He even waited for Hux to tell him to enter before walking in. For a moment, they simply stared at each other.

“Did you finally run out of black clothes?” Hux asked before turning his attention to his datapad.

“I just wanted to tell you that you can come back,” Kylo said. “To our quarters. I can go somewhere else tonight if you want.”

“It’s not you,” Hux said. “Well, not entirely you, although it is your fault. I can’t sleep in that bed until it’s been thoroughly cleaned and I really don’t feel like doing that today.”

“Yeah. I, um. I took care of it. The sheets. I washed them.”

That got Hux’s attention. He looked back up at him, an amused expression on his face. “Well, perhaps I will come back if only to see what a disaster you made of that. But I need to finish up here first.”

Kylo nodded. He’d wanted Hux to come and see immediately, but he always had been very focused on his work. Without saying anything else, he left. Hopefully Hux would return to their quarters soon. If not, Kylo would just have to come back to get him.

***

“They’re up to something,” Finn said as he sat down on the couch next to Rey. She put an arm around him and he leaned against her. Poe sat down next to him and he laid down across both Finn and Rey. Finn couldn’t help but put a hand over Poe’s stomach. It was still hard for him to believe that the three of them were dating. 

Finn had always liked both of them, but because they were his first true friends, he hadn’t been sure what he was feeling at first. And by the time he did, he’d been worried about ruining those friendships if they didn’t return the feelings. He also had no idea how to choose between them and had hoped Poe or Rey would make the first move. He had never imagined a situation in which he could have both of them.

“I’m not surprised,” Rey said. “The only thing unusual is that they’re up to something together.”

“Yeah,” Finn agreed. “I think we should keep an eye on them.”

“I’m pretty sure they’re fucking,” Poe said.

“What?” Finn said. “Poe, why would you think that? And why would you say it?”

“They can barely stand each other,” Rey said. 

“Exactly,” Poe said. “They obviously have strong feelings towards each other. So why wouldn’t they?”

“Didn’t the report say they were fighting?”

“It said they were loud and it sounded like they were fighting,” Poe said as he readjusted himself in their laps. “Who knows what went on in there?”

“So why’d you come to that conclusion, then?” Rey asked.

“They suddenly decided to live together, they were loud and apparently arguing over top and bottom, and shortly after, I saw Ren taking sheets to the laundry. It all makes sense.”

“I really don’t want to think about that,” Rey said.

“Neither do I,” Finn agreed.

“Yeah, but hopefully they’ll end up getting along eventually.”

“I suppose it is for the best,” Rey said.

“But please never tell us anything about what they’re doing again,” Finn added. It was bad enough that Ren and Hux were on the same planet as he was. The last thing he needed was details on their sex life.


	11. Chapter 11

Living with Ren was going much better than Hux initially suspected. Given their initial encounter, he’d expected it would be a complete disaster with the two of them barely tolerating each other and having constant arguments. But Ren had immediately fixed the situation.

He’d been shocked that Ren had done laundry. Even more shocking, he had done it for Hux. His bed making skills left much to be desired, but Hux really couldn’t fault him on that. He’d done the more time consuming part of the process anyway and Hux could fix his own bed. But he also realized there was no point. It wasn’t as if he was going to have his bunk inspected like when he was a cadet. And he didn’t personally care about keeping order in the Resistance base - no one else did either.

Because they had plenty of time together, they were able to discuss their plans. Ren did make a good point about keeping their voices down since they’d already had people complaining about them. The last thing they needed was for anyone to overhear their plans.

It took less than a week for them to finish their plans. They knew exactly where they were going to go and Hux had made a couple of backup plans as well. There were only two things that were unplanned - what ship they would take and when they would leave. As much as Hux hated to have anything unplanned, he knew those were things that they would have to just wait and see. As soon as the right ship was available, they would leave.

Hux spent his days as usual - collecting data on First Order movements and helping with the stormtroopers. He’d made a bit of progress, and he suspected that it wouldn’t take much longer. Once the conditioning process started to wear off, it wouldn’t take much for it all to fall apart.

Ren was in charge of monitoring what ships came in and out. He knew enough about maintenance to make himself useful doing repairs. Luckily, no one questioned why he was suddenly so keen on helping out and that meant that Ren would know as soon as an acceptable ship became available.

Hux knew that he needed to be patient. Although they would be switching ships very quickly, they needed one that had an easy to disable tracking system, enough speed, and one that would hopefully not be missed right away. The bigger headstart they had, the better.

Still, Hux was starting to get anxious. The longer they waited, the harder it would be to find Pryde. He had no doubt that they would find him and kill him, but Hux wanted it over with as soon as possible.

It only took four days after deciding on their plans before the right ship landed, but for Hux, it had felt like much longer.

“It’s a small cargo transport,” Ren said. “Four of them just came in. One is manned. The other three are run by a droid. I’ve already changed one of them to manual mode. All we have to do is go in and take it.”

“A droid ship? Won’t the others be alerted immediately when it makes an unscheduled departure?”

“No. It’s disconnected. For maintenance. I said it was so they wouldn’t get an alert every time I needed to do something.”

“Let me get everything set up,” Hux said. “And then we can leave.”

“In a few hours,” Ren said, shaking his head. “It’s too busy now. We’ll be seen going out together.”

“Yes. Of course.” That had always been the plan - to leave when there would be the fewest eyes watching. Hux had been so eager to get going that he forgot.

“I’ve already put some supplies on board,” Ren said. “Food. Tools. That sort of thing.”

“Remarkable. I’d never thought that you would be able to think more than two minutes ahead.”

“Guess you don’t really know me then.”

“I guess not.” Hux had expected an argument. He hadn’t wanted to have one - they hadn’t really argued since that first day living togehter - but as soon as he said the words, he was sure that Ren would be angry. It was at least a pleasant surprise.

Hux packed up a few changes of clothes. On impulse, he packed up his general’s uniform along with the more casual clothing the Resistance had given him. If they were going to be dealing with the First Order, it might help to have his uniform. And, he decided, when he killed Pryde, he wanted to do it as Armitage Hux, First Order general, and not Armitage Hux, Resistance scum.

When the time was right, they made their way out to the landing field. Hux was nervous whenever they passed someone, but Ren assured him that he could use the Force to allow them to pass by unnoticed. The only people they had to avoid were Skywalker and Finn.

They made it to the ship without incident and Hux couldn’t help but feel excited. It was similar to the way he felt when getting a promotion or when he first boarded the Finalizer or even when he first started leaking information to the Resistance. But it was different too. At least with those other events, he knew exactly what he was doing. He’d planned as much as he could, but there was so much that was unpredictable when the first step involved stealing a ship with Kylo Ren. Hux had never done something so irrational before in his life.

Hux sat down in the cockpit with Ren as he was starting up the ship. He could see that everything was ready to go, but Ren didn’t take off. Instead, he looked over at Hux.

“Ready?” he asked. As soon as Hux nodded, Ren grinned and they took off.

***

Kylo could sense how nervous Hux was, but he couldn’t tell if it was because of what they were doing or because they were now trapped together. Or maybe it was a little of both. Most likely, it was Kylo’s presence. Hux had betrayed the First Order, something he had actually cared about. He wouldn’t be nervous about betraying the Resistance.  
There had been plenty of time for Hux to change his mind and now they were coming out of hyperspace on some planet that Kylo couldn’t remember the name for. It didn’t matter what it was called - they wouldn’t be staying long.  
Almost as soon as they landed, they started looking for another ship. It didn’t matter what kind - they just needed anything that could take them to the next system on their list. The first thing that caught Kylo’s eye was a small shuttle. He hadn’t wanted to use mind tricks, as that would prove that he’d been behind the theft, but the Resistance would know anyway. At least, Rey would know.

Kylo and Hux put their new things on the ship and then Kylo mind tricked the owner to forget they were ever there. Rey would sense that the man’s mind had been altered, but it couldn’t be helped. It was more important that they get off world as soon as possible. It didn’t even take them an hour after landing for them to take off in their new craft.

Once they made it to the second planet, they had a little bit of time to wait. The plan was to lay low for a while and see if the Resistance had managed to follow them or not. That would determine whether they switched ships immediately or on the next planet.

Kylo was the one who had the most work to do on the mission. Not only was he more qualified to steal ships, but he could use the Force to get whatever else they needed while they were stuck on the planet. Kylo wasn’t going to complain, although in the past, he had often liked to remind Hux just how useless he was. Those were missions where he and Hux had been forced to work together - this was the first time Kylo wanted to work with him.

The first thing they needed was a place to stay. Hux picked out a place near the spaceport so they could find out if the Resistance was on the planet, but not so near that they would have to worry about being seen in public. After Hux told him where he wanted to stay, it was a simple enough task to use a mind trick to get a room.

As soon as they entered the room, Kylo could see there was going to be a problem. He could deal with the situation, but he knew Hux was going to hate it. As soon as Hux stepped inside, he complained.

“Ren,” Hux said. Kylo glanced behind him to see that Hux was standing in the doorway. “You need to get another room.”

“I can’t,” Kylo said, shaking his head.

“Can’t? Why can’t you use your tricks again to get us a second room?”

“It’s risky enough to do one,” Kylo said. “If they check their records. They’ll see something isn’t right. The more rooms we have, the more likely they notice. It’s more likely that Rey hears about it too.”

“So how is this going to work, then?” Hux said, finally walking inside the room. He looked at the bed, as did Kylo. The only bed in the room.

“I can sleep on the floor,” Kylo muttered. “Or we sleep in shifts.”

“Really? You’re just going to volunteer to take the floor? Why?”

Kylo shrugged. “Did you want to fight over it?”

“I want to know why you’re acting so strange.”

“I’m not.” Kylo had no idea what Hux was talking about. If anything, they were both acting more like themselves than the entire time they’d been with the Resistance.

“You have never listened to me or did what I asked without argument. Now, you’re practically one of my lieutenants, doing anything you think will please me. I don’t like this submissive act.”

“I thought this is what you wanted.” If not, Kylo had no idea what Hux would want from him. He hadn’t liked him as Supreme Leader or when he’d simply been a Knight. If being the opposite of that was also undesirable, there was nothing else Kylo could do.

“What I want is to kill Pryde and then hopefully never need to work with you again.”

That was not an unexpected answer, but Kylo thought they were getting along better. He knew Hux was still angry, but the fact that he had asked for his help had to mean something. Or at least, that’s what Kylo thought. All the effort Kylo had put into making things right had been for nothing.

He grabbed a pillow and the blanket from the bed and laid down on the floor. It was tempting to take the bed, but despite knowing Hux would never forgive him, he didn’t want to be the person he used to be. He wasn’t quite sure who he was, but he at least knew that he was not the person who wanted to hurt Hux anymore.

Kylo had managed to doze off and the next thing he knew, he was being kicked in the back. He opened his eyes to find that it was dark in the room and also very cold. He couldn’t see who had kicked him, but the Force told him that it was Hux and that he wasn’t in any danger. That was good, at least. Hux wasn’t trying to kill him.

“What are you doing?” Kylo grumbled as he rolled onto his back. He bumped into Hux’s legs as he did so and he could feel Hux stepping away from him.

“The room is freezing,” Hux said.

“I noticed.” Kylo pulled his blanket tighter around himself, not wanting Hux to take it from him. But if that had been his plan, it would have been smarter to take it without waking him up first. And if he wanted it, there was no reason Kylo couldn’t give it to him. He could use the Force to keep warm.

“As much as I hate the idea, it’ll be more comfortable if we share the blanket.”

“Are you -”

“Yes, Ren. Now either get in bed or shut up and we can both freeze all night.”

Kylo didn’t bother to argue. He would much rather be on the bed and it would be warmer for them to share the blanket. He started to think that maybe Hux didn’t hate him that much as he climbed into the bed. Kylo knew it was only a matter of being practical, but maybe Hux was starting to soften up towards him.

“Stay on your side,” Hux said as he crawled under the blanket.

“I will,” Kylo promised.

He could promise all he wanted, but that didn’t mean Hux was going to stay on his side, as Kylo found out. Before he could fall asleep, he felt Hux’s hand on him. It didn’t bother Kylo, so he didn’t wake Hux up. He only hoped that Hux wasn’t touching him in the morning, because Hux would not like that idea.

Kylo was proven right when he woke up, feeling cold air all around him and pressure at his neck. He opened his eyes to see Hux over him, as angry as Kylo had ever seen him. It took him a moment to realize that Hux was holding a knife to his throat.

“I told you not to touch me,” Hux hissed.

“I didn’t,” Kylo insisted. “I just woke up!” At least that explained what Hux was mad about.

“You had an arm on me!” Hux pressed the knife harder against his throat and Kylo pushed his head back into the pillow.

“Hux.” Kylo glanced to the side and saw that he was right where he had fallen asleep. That meant it wasn’t his fault. “You’re the one who must have moved. Look.”

Hux glanced over, but didn’t remove the knife. “I would never do that! I want to be as far away from you as possible!”

“It wasn’t me. But either slit my throat or move. Or I’ll make you.” It probably wasn’t the best idea to suggest violence to Hux, but he didn’t push the knife in. As Hux started to ease back, Kylo sat up so he could push Hux away easier if he changed his mind. But Hux only moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

Kylo watched him, but Hux didn’t move or say anything. In the Force, Hux felt distressed, but Kylo didn’t know if he could help. Hux wanted nothing to do with him, so even thought it felt like hugging him would be the right thing to do, Kylo suspected that might end with Hux’s knife in him.

“Why didn’t you push me away?” Hux asked. “You easily could have.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You never seemed to care before.”

“I know.” He wanted to apologize for that, but he knew it didn’t matter. Hux didn’t care what he had to say.

“So what’s changed?” Hux glanced back at him and Kylo moved to sit beside him.

“I lost everything. I don’t even know who I am. But you do.”

“Yes, you’re the worst person in the galaxy.”

“I don’t really regret a lot of what I’ve done, but treating you the way I did. That’s one thing I do regret.”

“It wasn’t unexpected. You always hated me.”

“I didn’t.” There were times when he thought he did and they had never really gotten along, but Kylo had never hated him. Not really.

“So you just try to kill everyone in your path?” Hux looked over at him. “You know, I suppose that’s accurate. Maybe I was just in your way too often.”

“Yes. Not that it was your fault. You were just trying to do your job. I was so used to you being a problem. After Snoke, I didn’t think. That maybe you could be an ally. You were only an obstacle.”

They fell back into silence and Kylo had to resist the temptation to pry into his mind. It was the most open he had been with anyone in years and he wanted to know what Hux was thinking. Would Hux actually listen or would he just find some way to use his vulnerability against him?

“You sound like you actually mean that.”

“I do.”

“I’m not sure if I can believe you.”

Kylo really couldn’t blame him for that. If he were in Hux’s place, he knew he’d have his doubts as well. Kylo at least had the Force, but Hux had nothing. He just had to trust Kylo. But maybe Kylo could let him into his mind. He held his hand out to Hux.

“Let me show you.”

Hux stared at his hand and Kylo thought that he wouldn’t take his hand. Just as he was getting ready to pull away when he saw Hux’s hand move slightly towards him. Hux moved very slowly until his hand was just barely touching him, but it was enough.

Kylo connected their minds, letting Hux see how he truly felt. At first, he tried to only show him certain things, but quickly decided to let him see it all. It was only fair. After all, Kylo had been inside Hux’s mind countless times.

It was strange feeling Hux inside his mind for once and it took Hux no time to learn what he was doing. Kylo felt Hux digging through all kinds of memories. Kylo felt as if he were reliving the first time they met and many of their countless arguments, as well as Snoke’s throne room and when they moved to the Steadfast. It all went by quick, but then Hux seemed to focus in on what happened after coming to the Resistance.

There were things that Hux was finding that even Kylo wasn’t aware of. Kylo knew he wanted Hux to forgive him, but he hadn’t realized just how important it was. It wasn’t just that Hux was the closest thing to a friend he had or that Hux was the only person who ever accepted him. He actually cared about Hux. He cared that he’d hurt him and he needed to make it better.

Hux pulled his hand away and Kylo felt his presence disappear from his mind. For several moments, they stared at each other and once again, Kylo was tempted to pry. But he wanted to make things better and he finally realized how important it was to him.

“I once swore that I would destroy everyone who ever hurt me,” Hux said. “I actually didn’t have you on that list until the throne room. Even then, I think I might have let that one go had it been the only time. But it never stopped.”

“You want to kill me.” That really wasn’t a surprise, although Kylo hoped he might be able to change his mind. At least he knew that Hux was unlikely to succeed.

“I did. Now, I’m not quite sure. I hadn’t realized it was even a possibility that someone might actually regret hurting me. I don’t know what I expected to see in your head, but that certainly wasn’t it.”

Hux reached over and took his hand again, and Kylo had to stop himself from pulling away from him. Kylo stared at their joined hands, wondering just what Hux had seen that led to that. He’d hoped that Hux would believe him, hate him less. He’d never imagined that Hux would touch him. Not like he was.

Kylo was about to ask him what he was doing, but as soon as he opened his mouth, Hux covered it with his hand. He left his hand over his mouth and soon, Hux was tracing a finger over Kylo’s lower lip.

“Don’t talk,” Hux said. He let his hand slip to the side of Kylo’s face as he leaned forward, and then, Hux’s lips were on his. He started to pull back but Hux held him in place. If he wanted to, he could easily overpower Hux and push him away, but he really didn’t want to. Instead, he relaxed and let Hux kiss him.

Kylo had no idea why Hux was kissing him, but he couldn’t deny that it made him feel something he’d never felt before. He was anxious yet excited and a little scared at the same time. He wanted Hux to keep kissing him, keep his hand on the back of his head, keep holding his hand. And he wanted to touch Hux too.

He reached over with his free hand, touching Hux on his thigh. Kylo could feel Hux flinch and he pulled his hand back. At the same time, he felt Hux’s teeth in his lower lip. Kylo tried to move away, but Hux kept him in place with his hand, and he bit even harder. If pulling away wasn’t going to help, then Kylo could only push towards Hux. He used his superior size and strength to push Hux back until Hux finally pulled away.

Hux looked angry, very much like he had when Kylo ordered him to leave the Finalizer. Unlike then, Kylo didn’t understand why Hux was mad. Hux had kissed him. And bit him. Kylo pulled his hand away from Hux and touched his lip. There was a little bit of blood, but it wasn’t bad.

“What -”

“I told you not to talk,” Hux said as he stood up. He pulled on his boots and Kylo watched him in silence. He wanted to know why he had done that and if it had meant anything. Had he just been angry enough to kiss him? That didn’t seem like Hux. He seemed more like the type who would have simply stabbed him.

“I’ll be gone for a few hours,” Hux said as he headed for the door of the room. “It’ll be for the best if you stay out of sight.”

Hux gave Kylo no time for argument and walked out the door, leaving Kylo very confused. What just happened?

***

“They stole a supply ship,” Finn said. That much, Poe had figured out already. When one of the ships was missing and so were Ren and Hux, it wasn’t too hard to put the pieces together. Poe had gone to check Hux’s office for any clues about where he might have gone, while Rey was searching Ren and Hux’s quarters.  
Poe had taken Hux’s datapad and had returned to his quarters to wait for Finn and Rey. Finn had come back first. His job had been easier - confirming that Hux and Ren had left together.

“Hux planned on us finding his datapad,” Poe said, waving it in the air a bit before bringing it back down to look at it. He had glanced over everything and was just starting to really read it. “He left an apology note and everything.”

“Hux apologized? Why?”

“Maybe he’s starting to believe in the cause?” Poe suggested with a shrug.

“Hux? I don’t think he’ll ever change.” Finn sat down on the couch next to him, reading over the note on the datapad.

“He’s not so bad,” Poe said. “I spent some time with him and I think there’s a possibility he could come around. I’m pretty sure we’re the first people to treat him decently.”

“You’re probably right. And this note seems sincere. But I just don’t buy it.”

As much as Poe wanted to believe that Hux had changed, Finn had a point. He was Hux and he had just run off with Ren of all people. Given his note, he’d obviously planned it too, so it wasn’t a case of Ren kidnapping him, which had been Poe’s first assumption when he learned they were gone.

Rey walked in and sat down on Poe’s other side, leaning up against him. “I didn’t get anything from their quarters,” she said. “What’s this?”

Poe quickly explained the note that Hux had left, where he said that he and Ren were going to find Pryde and whatever else remained of the First Order. That wasn’t even a terrible goal, and Poe had to wonder if there was more to it. If he wanted to fight the First Order, he should have known the Resistance would help.

“There’s also a few other things he’s left for us,” Poe said as he pulled up another screen. “He laid out a plan to help the former troopers. It’s very detailed, too. But here’s the other interesting thing.”

It had taken Poe a while to figure out just what Hux had left when he first found the data on the datapad and he could see that Finn and Rey were equally confused when he pulled up a starchart with a planet clearly marked on it.

“Where is that?” Finn asked.

“I’m not sure it has a name,” Poe said. “What’s interesting is that Hux says there’s an Alderaanian guard that’s been stranded there for years and suggests we rescue him.”

“A distraction,” Finn said. “To keep us from going after them.”

“You may be right,” Poe said. “But if it’s true, do we want to leave him there? It’s not like we can’t have someone else go check out the planet while we go after Ren and Hux.”

“I’m not sure we should,” Rey said. That was not what Poe expected her to say. He would have thought she would be the first one chasing them down.

“Why not?” Poe asked.

“I can feel something in the Force,” she said. “It’s strange, but it feels like this is right almost. Like if we let them do this, it’ll be fine.”

“You can’t be serious,” Poe said. “The two of them out there together? How could that be the right thing? We need to track them down.”

“Maybe they’ll kill each other,” Finn suggested.

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Rey said. “And you’re right, Poe. We need to find them. But I don’t think we should interfere unless we have to.”

Poe hated the idea of the two of them out there on their own. And it wasn’t just that he was worried about what the two of them might do. He was worried what Ren might do to Hux.


	12. Chapter 12

Hux thought about getting into their stolen ship and flying away. He could leave Ren behind, find the _Finalizer_ and kill Pryde without Ren. But there had been a reason he’d asked for Ren’s help and he still needed him. Just because he’d kissed the man didn’t change anything.

He still couldn’t believe he’d kissed him. He’d been skeptical about seeing inside Ren’s mind, but he’d been curious enough to try. His assumption had been that Ren would simply show him what he wanted him to see, but he quickly realized he could see all of Ren’s memories. And not only could he see them, he could feel how Ren felt in those moments as well. 

It had been shocking to see just how much Ren felt. Hux couldn’t imagine going through life like that. It certainly explained why Ren seemed so unstable. The thing that was particularly interesting was the fact that Ren really did feel bad - everything he’d done since coming to the Resistance had been genuine. And it was more than just wanting to make things up.

Ren seemed to like him. And if Hux was right, he always had. Not as a friend, not exactly. Ren had many conflicting feelings and part of that was the fact that Ren was attracted to him. Or at least, that’s what Hux thought. There had probably been a better way to confirm that, but instead, Hux had done the first thing that had come to mind and kissed him.

That seemed to confirm what Hux found in Ren’s mind. He had tried to get away, but it only took slight pressure to keep him in place. Had Ren not wanted to kiss him, he easily could have pushed him away. And he’d touched him. That Hux had not expected and he still didn’t know if he hated it or liked it when Ren touched him.

The worst part about the entire situation was that Hux hadn't completely hated it. Kissing Ren should have been the least enjoyable thing possible, but it wasn’t and Hux couldn’t help but want to do it again. He wondered what it would feel like to have Ren’s hands on him, what it would be like to take Ren’s clothes off and kiss him all over. 

He’d left the room because he didn’t want to think about Ren, but even while trying to get away from him, he couldn’t help but have his thoughts drift back to the kiss. Once again, he was tempted to leave the planet. That would solve most of his problems. Until he ran into a situation where he needed Ren.

Hux knew he couldn’t leave. And he couldn’t even put distance between him and Ren. They were stuck sharing that small room for at least a couple more days, and it really wasn’t safe for them to leave the room. The plan had been only to leave when necessary for supplies and information. And Hux could only get one of those things on his own - without any credits, he couldn’t buy anything. Ren had to do that. Another good reason not to leave him behind.

At least he could see what information he could gather. They hadn’t even been on the planet a full day, so Hux wasn’t expecting to find much. It was highly unlikely the Resistance had tracked them already, but if they’d been spotted by a Resistance sympathizer, it was possible. Of course, Hux had selected their current planet because the people had always been loyal to the First Order.

As he walked around, Hux kept his ears open, listening for any hint of Resistance activity on the planet. Everything he heard was perfectly mundane and after a few hours, he’d decided he’d been out there long enough and headed back to the inn. He hadn’t even thought of Ren while walking around, but once he stood in front of the door, he found himself dreading seeing him again.

For a moment, Hux considered walking around a little more, but it would only delay the inevitable. He couldn’t avoid Ren forever. And Ren likely already knew he was there. He didn’t want to explain why he hadn’t come in.

Hux stepped inside the room to find Ren sitting in the chair by the small table. Ren looked ridiculous in such a small chair, but Hux’s attention was drawn to the table. There were a few packages sitting there that hadn’t been there before.

“I got food,” Ren said. Hux walked over to the table and looked at what Ren had, but none of it was familiar to him. Ren handed him a package. “Couldn’t find First Order rations, but this was the closest I could find.”

“As if I haven’t been eating regular food for some time now,” Hux said, but he took the package anyway. He opened it up and saw there were some kind of bar inside. It looked similar enough to nutrient bars, although Hux guessed they were filled with unnecessary flavorings.

“Regular food? Is that what you call it now? Thought you liked that bland paste.”

“It’s just something D… I heard someone say,” Hux said. Dameron had teased him a bit about his picky eating habits. He wasn’t used to so much choice or flavor. But Dameron had also helped him find things that were the least objectionable, but he didn’t want Ren to know that. But he’d already slipped up.

“Dameron? You do seem to like hanging around him.”

“I don’t. He unfortunately tends to pester me.” Hux sat down on the bed and pulled out one of the bars. He took a small bite and thought it was too sweet, but he was hungry enough to not care. As he ate, he was aware that Ren was watching him, but he wasn’t about to let his discomfort show, and he continued eating in silence.

“So about -”

“No,” Hux said, cutting Ren off. He could guess what he was going to say and he was not going to have that conversation.

“You don’t know what I was going to say.”

“I can guess and we’re not talking about it.”

“Fine. Not like we need to discuss the mission at all.”

“You were not going to discuss the mission.” Hux couldn’t remember Ren ever talking about things - he just decided what he was going to do and did it. As was obvious by the fact he’d gone out to get food.

“Guess we’ll never know.”

Hux knew Ren was just trying to get him to engage in conversation, and he wasn’t about to fall for that. He ate another bar while Ren started to play with things on the table. He had more than just food, although Hux wasn’t sure what he had. Except for what looked like a stack of local currency.

“Fine,” Hux said. “Talk.”

“We should be good on food for at least another day. Everything is pretty quiet in this part of the city, so we’ll know if the Resistance is coming. I also thought you might need some credits and a disguise.” Ren put his hand over the credits.

“Disguise?”

“Your hair makes you a little more recognizable.” Ren picked up the stack of credits as well as the fabric it was sitting on and he dropped it next to Hux. 

Hux looked at the fabric and saw it was a scarf. He wanted to throw it back at Ren and tell him that he wasn’t going to wear something so ridiculous, but he also knew Ren had a point. The less he stood out, the better. It was hard to believe that Ren of all people would think of such a thing. He seemed to like standing out.

“I did want to talk about the other thing too,” Ren said as he sat down next to Hux. “But we don’t have to.”

“We’re not going to talk about it,” Hux said. “It is not something I plan on repeating either.”

Ren looked sad, but said nothing. For a moment, Hux wanted to take back his words, apologize for speaking so harshly and kiss Ren again. But it was a ridiculous notion and a bad one as well. The smart thing to do was forget the kiss ever happened, and that’s exactly what Hux intended to do.

***

Kylo wanted to try talking to Hux again because he still didn’t understand why Hux had kissed him. As far as Kylo knew, Hux still hated him. What had made him change his mind, if only briefly? But he knew that if Hux didn’t want to talk about it, he wouldn’t. Trying to talk about it would only make Hux less likely to ever speak about it.

Since Hux didn’t want to talk, that left Kylo with nothing else to do besides meditate. Maybe it would even help him understand Hux. He made himself comfortable on the bed and Hux glared at him before getting up and going to sit in the room’s chair. 

Kylo closed his eyes and focused on the Force, letting it flow into him. It felt different now than it had when he had been fully committed to the dark side. It used to feel like a raging fire, a star exploding inside him, something he needed to contain or risk having it destroy him. The Force still felt as powerful as ever, but it moved easier through him, and he no longer felt the need to try to contain it all.

In the past, he’d always directed the Force, focusing it on what he wanted. Now, he let the Force guide his meditation, showing him what he needed, not what he wanted. It could be more frustrating, and Kylo had given up on multiple occasions, but overall, it was easier and it left him calm and at peace.

The Force didn’t direct him towards Hux. Instead, he saw a colorful planet, one he knew he had seen before, but he couldn’t remember where. He saw a ship and an old man and Finn and Rey. It wasn’t until he saw a pair of large, blue beasts that he remembered which planet it was. He had no idea what the name of the planet was or if it even had a name, but he remembered that he and Hux had crash landed there. The old man had been there too, but Kylo hadn’t spoken much to him.

He didn’t know what Finn and Rey were saying to the old man but he could tell the man was uncertain about their presence and he seemed angry. But they kept talking and finally he got on the ship with them. 

Kylo had no idea if that was something that had happened or a vision of the future, but it was strange to see that place again. He hadn’t even thought about it since he left. Why would the Force show him that? How would Rey and Finn even know about that planet? Kylo considered that maybe he was supposed to lead them there, but he didn’t remember the planet’s location. But if anyone did, it was Hux.

His meditation didn’t end there. He saw other places, planets he’d been to before, places he’d had battles. As he was taken from place to place, he saw the destruction, he felt like he could even smell the battles. He felt fear, terror as well. That wasn’t his memory, but it wasn’t difficult to figure out where those feelings were coming from.

He’d known that the people he’d fought against had been frightened, but he’d never felt it so strongly. He hadn’t really thought about everything he’d destroyed, but apparently, the Force would not let him forget. The last thing the Force showed him was Snoke’s throne room, but he was on his knees, looking up at himself, unable to breathe.

He tried to stop himself in the vision, told himself to let go, but the pressure on his neck increased until he was certain he would be killed. There were tears running down his cheeks and he tried to speak, but he couldn’t. There was only one word he managed to say.

“Hux!”

Kylo found himself back in the room, although it was dark and cold. He was shaking, but it wasn’t just from the dropping temperature. Hux rose from his chair and stepped over to the bed.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked. 

“I…” Kylo was about to tell him about his vision, how he’d felt himself in Hux’s place. He wanted to apologize again but he knew Hux wouldn’t care. Hux might even be mad and think that Kylo had been reading his mind, so he said the only thing that was safe. “Nothing.”

He got up from the bed and went into the refresher to take a quick shower. It was only after he had finished that he realized he’d forgotten to bring clean clothes in with him. The towel mostly wrapped around him and he could position it so Hux would see very little. He could also use the Force to pull clean clothes in, but he knew Hux would tell him what a pathetic waste of power that was. He wouldn’t be happy with Kylo stepping out in a towel either, but Kylo thought that was the better of his options.

As he walked out of the refresher, he could feel Hux’s eyes on him, but Kylo refused to look at him. He quickly grabbed his clothes and retreated back to the refresher so he could dress. When he came back out, Hux was still watching him. Kylo sat down on the bed and stared back at Hux.

Kylo had no idea if Hux was angry about something, but he always did seem to be. He couldn’t sense anything in the Force, which wasn’t unusual for Hux. It was rare that Kylo could sense anything without actually trying.

“I’m going to bed,” Hux announced. He took off his jacket and belt, draping them over the chair.

“Good idea,” Kylo agreed. 

“You sure you wouldn’t rather keep watch?” Hux asked, pausing as he reached the bed.

“Do you want me to?”

“I don’t care what you do.” Hux climbed into bed and Kylo hesitated before turning off the lights with the Force and crawling in next to him. 

Kylo really wasn’t that tired, but since he planned on sleeping at some point, he thought it would be best if he didn’t disturb Hux’s sleep by getting in bed after Hux was asleep. He had no idea where he kept his knife, but he was certain that Hux could have it in his hand in an instant. He didn’t want to meditate again, not wanting another intense vision, but he was more than happy to lay next to Hux.

“Ren,” Hux said after Kylo thought he had fallen asleep.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, but I apparently did it on my own last night. It is rather cold in here, so would you mind?”

“What?” Kylo didn’t know exactly what Hux was saying, but after a moment, he figured it out, and he really couldn’t blame Hux for not wanting to say it out loud. “Oh. Yeah. That’s fine.”

Hux was silent and very still for a moment and Kylo thought he might not actually do anything. But soon enough, he could feel Hux moving closer to him. Soon, he was right up against him with his head on Kylo’s shoulder. 

“I hate you,” Hux muttered.

“Yeah, I can tell.” Kylo was rewarded for that with a kick to the shin.

“I really do hate you. I should want you as dead as the rest of them. But you know what the worst part of all this is? You’re the only thing I have left of my past life. You’re all I’ll ever have and I’m not quite willing to let that go.”

“Hux -”

“Shut up,” he said, saving Kylo from having to think of something to say. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Kylo sighed. It really seemed like something they should discuss, but he wasn’t in the mood to have an argument. Kylo had to admit that it was nice having Hux resting against him. He must not hate him as much as he claimed. Kylo felt a bit awkward just laying there, so he slowly brought up an arm to wrap around Hux.

“What are you doing?” Hux asked.

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about it.”

“I hate you,” Hux muttered, but he stayed right where he was. Kylo couldn’t help but smile. He’d never thought Hux would be so… cuddly. That really was the only word for what they were doing, but Kylo knew he could never say that out loud. 

Wanting the moment to last as long as possible, Kylo said nothing and simply held Hux until he fell asleep.

***

Finn couldn’t believe that Hux had given them good information. He knew he shouldn’t be that surprised since Hux had been helping them, but why tell them about a solitary old man stranded on a distant planet? The only thing he could think of was that Hux was trying to distract them.

At least the mission had been successful and they’d managed to convince the man to leave with them. He’d been very distrustful at first, but when he understood their mission was only to rescue him, he’d relented and come on board the _Falcon_. 

“Something wrong?” Rey asked as she came to sit next to him.

“I can’t help but think that this is some kind of set up,” he said. “If it’s not a distraction, is it some kind of trap? Is Bylsma some sort of First Order agent?”

“Reach out with the Force,” Rey said. “You can feel that he’s not.”

Finn did as Rey instructed and when he felt the man’s presence in the Force, he didn’t seem to have any malicious intent. For the most part, he was scared. Finn couldn’t blame him. After living alone for so many years, it must be terrifying to be with other people. But that brought another question to Finn’s mind.

“How did Hux even know he was there?” Finn asked.

“Did you say Hux?”

Finn glanced up and saw Bylsma walking into the room. He nodded in response to the question, but he had no idea how he ever could have met Hux. “He’s the one who told us how to find you,” Finn explained.

“You’re with the First Order? Take me back!”

“No,” Rey said, getting up but when she walked towards him, Bylsma backed away. “We’re not First Order. We’re with the Resistance.”

“How can I trust you? You tricked me into getting on your ship! Hux sent you!”

“He’s, uh, sort of a prisoner?” Finn said. He wasn’t quite sure how to explain the situation in a simple way. “He told us that there was someone stranded out on your planet and suggested we rescue you.”

“No,” Bylsma said. “The Hux I met deceived me. He lied to me to contact the First Order and left me there to die. He said his companion was Princess Leia’s son.”

“You met Ren?” Finn asked. “They were both there?”

“Ben, I think he called him. But I suppose he might have called him Ren.”

“He actually is Leia’s son,” Rey said. “Unfortunately. I promise you, we’re not First Order. We can take you wherever you like. If you really want to go back, we can take you back. But you can go anywhere in the galaxy. The First Order’s been defeated.”

“It’s been so long,” Bylsma said as he took a seat on a bench. “It would be nice to see a bit more of the galaxy for once. But did Hux really send you?”

“He did,” Finn confirmed.

“He’s a better person these days,” Rey said. “Not that much better, but he’s trying. I think he sent us as a way to try to make up for the things he’s done wrong in the past.”

That explanation actually did make sense, but Finn had a hard time believing it. Still, Finn wondered if there was some truth to it. After all, Hux could have simply left without telling them about Bylsma. And while that could have been nothing more than a distraction tactic, leaving all his notes on the deconditioning process wasn’t. 

Finn didn’t believe that Hux actually cared about anyone besides himself, but perhaps he was a slightly better person. He certainly couldn’t be any worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up - I probably won't be posting a new chapter for about a week. I'll probably have another chapter out February 9th or 10th and if I don't, come harass me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/Battle_Walrus) because I probably just forgot.


	13. Chapter 13

Hux knew he had a problem. Every night, he was curling up next to Ren and letting Ren put his arms around him. It was all Dameron’s fault, too. Before him, Hux hadn’t even realized that wanting to be touched and held could be a thing. Because he’d rejected Dameron, Ren was the only one who would give him what he wanted.

Hux hated Ren, although not quite as much as the fact that he liked being in Ren’s arms. It really was a comfortable way to sleep and for the brief moments that Hux could forget just who was holding him, it was rather nice. It might have been easier if there was someone else he could imagine in Ren’s place, but he couldn’t think of anyone he’d rather have hold him.

How pathetic was his life that his best options were to either be held by his enemy or not at all? And since when had he become so weak that he decided that being held was his best option? 

The other problem that Hux found himself facing was Ren’s lips. Every morning, he found himself wanting to kiss him. And once again, he found himself staring at his lips, wishing he could kiss him again. The biggest problem was that Hux was fairly certain that he _could_ kiss him. Ren wouldn’t stop him. 

As he had for the past several mornings, Hux pushed himself away from Ren before he could give into temptation. That woke Ren up as well, but Hux didn’t care. If he really wanted to, he could go back to sleep. It wasn’t as if Hux needed him. Ren had provided him with credits so he could buy anything they might need. Of course, if he spent that, Ren would have to get more.

“Same plan as yesterday?” Kylo asked. Hux glanced back to him and saw that he was stretching, showing off his muscles as he did so. Hux quickly returned his attention to getting ready for the day.

“Yes,” Hux said. There really wasn’t much for them to do besides look for any hints that the Resistance had found them. So far, everything was going well and there were no signs of the Resistance anywhere on the planet. 

“I think we only need to stay another day or two,” Hux said as he got dressed. He pulled his jacket on and then put on his boots before grabbing his scarf. He didn’t really like the scarf, but his hair really did stand out and was his most distinctive feature. Hux had seen some hooded ponchos in a market but he hadn’t wanted to ask Ren to get it for him.

“What then?” Ren asked.

“If there’s no signs that we’ve been tracked, we’ll switch ships and then find the _Finalizer_. Otherwise, we’ll need to keep switching ships until I’m sure we’re not being followed. In that case, I hope you can manage to get us a room with two beds.”

“You seem to be enjoying this arrangement,” Ren said. Hux glared at him and he shrugged. “Nothing wrong with that. I don’t mind.”

“Well, I do.”

“It was your idea,” he muttered.

“Only because it’s the most practical solution. This planet is cold at night and we’ll both be more rested if we’re not shivering all night. There’s nothing else to it.”

“Yeah. I know. But if you wanted something else to it. I’d be okay with that.”

Hux froze in the middle of putting on his belt. What was Ren suggesting? Did he know that Hux enjoyed being held? He was a mind reader and Hux wouldn’t be surprised if he did know. If he did know - and Hux had to assume that he did - then was he actually suggesting that they continue to share a bed even if they didn’t have to? Did he think Hux wanted more than that? Was he suggesting that they hug? Hold hands?

“Hux?”

Ren was on his feet and walking towards him. Hux scowled at him, but that didn’t deter him. “What do you want?”

“You looked a little confused there for a moment,” Ren said, reaching out to put a hand on Hux’s shoulder. “Are you... okay?”

Hux stared at him. It would be so nice to fall into Ren’s arms and kiss those soft lips. Hux wanted to climb back into bed with him and simply lay there all day, resting against Ren. He could pet his hair and touch him and kiss him. He found himself leaning towards him and as soon as he realized what he was doing, he pushed Ren away.

“I’m fine.”

“Hux -”

“I said I’m fine!” Hux snapped at him. He expected Ren to shout back at him as that’s what they always did when one of them raised their voice. But Ren backed off. He went back to the bed and put his boots on without saying a word. 

Hux picked up his belt - he didn’t even realize he had dropped it - and finished getting ready. Ren did the same. Neither of them spoke until Hux headed towards the door.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Ren asked softly.

Hux almost told him no. It might do him some good to get away from Ren for a little while. They hadn’t really been apart except for that first day on the planet. But Hux knew that if he ran into trouble, it’d be better to have Ren with him. All he had was a knife. Hux could defend himself against one or possibly two opponents, but with Ren’s powers, he could do so much more.

“We should stick together,” Hux said.

Ren said nothing as he stood up and joined Hux. At least Ren realized that Hux did not want to talk to him. That made him far more tolerable. But Hux knew he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about Ren’s offer.

***

Kylo didn’t want to leave the planet. He had no idea what the place was called, but being there was the first time in a long time that he felt at peace. Although they were looking out for any Resistance members that might have followed them, they weren’t running from danger. They had a routine. It was simple and boring and Kylo liked it.

Part of it scared him. He’d always thought he was meant for greater things. He’d pushed himself his entire life to become better and stronger. He’d even ruled the galaxy for that short while. But he’d never been happy. How could it be that living in a hotel with Hux made him happier than anything else in his life?

The more Kylo thought about it, the better it sounded. He wouldn’t want to stay in a hotel forever, but maybe a small house somewhere would be good. Kylo had no idea what he would do besides spend his days with Hux, neither of them having anything to worry about. Maybe Kylo could learn how to cook. That sounded nice - cooking meals for him and Hux.

It was such a stupid idea and Kylo couldn’t believe he was even thinking about it. They were on a mission, nothing more. Once it was finished, Hux would never want to see him again. He certainly was enjoying their cuddle sessions, but Kylo had also sensed some very conflicting emotions from him.

Every time Hux curled up against him, Kylo would sense contentment and happiness from Hux, but it never lasted. Instead, it was quickly replaced with fear and unease. But that too would fade only to be replaced by anger. Kylo couldn’t make sense of it and since he’d decided not to read Hux’s mind, he knew he likely never would.

As they walked through the town, Kylo found himself thinking about what he’d suggested. That things could be different between them. Kylo had expected an outright rejection, but instead, Hux had froze. Maybe that meant he did have a chance with Hux.

Kylo found himself wondering if there was a planet that Hux would want to settle on. As far as Kylo knew, he’d spent most of his life on a Star Destroyer, so he didn’t think Hux would be too attached to any planet in particular. But perhaps he’d visited some place that he would want to return to. Kylo couldn’t think of anywhere. All he knew was that he wanted to be away from anyone who would know him or his family.

Deciding that he wanted a planet with lots of vegetation, Kylo started imagining what their home might look like. It would be small, he decided. Just enough space for the necessities. Hux did like to build things, so maybe they would have a garage too, just for him. He might even be able to start a business with his skills, and they wouldn’t have to rely on Kylo’s abilities alone to get by.

Kylo imagined a garden as well, with beautiful plants from across the galaxy. It might not be as useful as Hux’s garage, but it would be a nice place to meditate. And whenever Hux took breaks, he and Kylo could enjoy the garden together, walking through it, sitting under one of the large trees next to the pond, and -

“Ren!”

Kylo was snapped out of his daydream by Hux’s voice and a hand on his chest. He blinked at Hux, not sure what was going on. Hux frowned back at him.

“What is wrong with you?” Hux hissed. “You’ve nearly collided with at least six people! The only thing preventing you from making a scene is the fact that you’re big enough that people see you and get out of your way.”

“Oh.” Kylo hadn’t realized he had done that. He’d simply been following Hux as he imagined what their life might be like. Which was completely ridiculous. As much as Kylo liked holding him, that really was the only time they got along. Hux wouldn’t want to stay with him and Kylo wasn’t sure if he would really want to live with Hux forever either.

“Are you sick or something?” Hux asked.

“No. Just thinking.”

“That’s a first. I think it’s time to head back.”

Kylo let the insult slide and fell back into silence. He knew the entire idea of living together with Hux peacefully could never happen, but he watched his hands as he walked and Kylo wondered what it would be like to hold his hand while walking around. He couldn’t imagine Hux would ever allow it, especially in public.

They’d almost made it back to their hotel when something caught Kylo’s attention. He sniffed the air and soon his eyes found what his nose already had - a small tent set up and serving food. He walked past Hux and headed over, looking to see what they had. Whatever it was, it smelled good. Kylo glanced behind him to see that Hux had followed him.

“Want to get something to eat?”

“We have food in our room,” Hux pointed out.

“Yeah, but if we’re leaving soon, maybe we should save that. It’ll last. Who knows when we can get fresh food again?”

Hux frowned but glanced towards the tent. “I suppose you’re right. Just get me something that isn’t spicy.”

“Where are you going?”

“Back to the room. I’m a bit tired.” Hux walked off without giving Kylo a chance to respond. Kylo watched Hux leave and then got in line.

Although it was rather long, it moved quickly. Using the Force, Kylo convinced the person in front of him to pay for him, which was sometimes easier to pull off than convincing someone that he’d already paid. The wait to get the food was a bit longer, but soon, Kylo was heading back to the room.

Not sure if Hux was sleeping or not, Kylo opened the door as quietly as possible and crept into the room. Hux was laying on the bed, but he wasn’t asleep. He sat up quickly and Kylo got a brief glimpse of tears on Hux’s cheeks before he wiped them away.

“Hux? What’s wrong?” Kylo put the bag of food down on the table and went over to the bed.

“Nothing,” Hux said, standing up.

“You were crying.”

“I was not.” Hux brushed past him and pulled the two trays out of the bag. “Which one is mine?”

Kylo glanced over his shoulder and then used the Force to lift his up. “I also got you this,” he said as he lifted a bottle out of the bag. “Some kind of fruit juice I think.”

“You think.” Hux sat down in the chair and glanced at the bottle. “Better hope it’s not poisonous.”

“I’ll drink mine first if it makes you feel better.” Kylo grabbed his food and drink and went to sit on the bed. As promised, he drank his juice first and after a while, Hux tried his as well. Neither of them spoke as they ate. It wasn’t until Kylo used the Force to throw his trash away that Hux broke the silence.

“Lazy,” Hux muttered.

“We all have our flaws,” Kylo said as he laid back on the bed. “At least I don’t cry and then lie about it.”

“I’m not a child, Ren. I don’t cry.”

“You cried plenty when you saw that it would turn Rey and Dameron against me.”

“That was… that was none of your business.” Hux got up and threw his trash away and then returned to sit in the chair, looking out the window.

“You know it’s normal to cry, don’t you?” Kylo asked after a while.

“I was not crying, and therefore, there is nothing to discuss.”

“Whatever you say,” Kylo mumbled. He knew what he’d seen and it wasn’t even the first time he’d walked in on Hux crying. But if Hux wanted to pretend that he wasn’t, then Kylo didn’t see any point in arguing with him about it. 

As he usually did when they were just sitting in the room, Kylo planned on meditating. He quickly found himself unable to focus, instead thinking about Hux crying. The last time he’d walked in on Hux like that, Kylo had upset him. Kylo couldn’t think of anything he had done that would have upset Hux, but it was impossible to tell with him.

“Hux?” Kylo called. He sat up, giving up on meditation for the moment. Hux didn’t respond. “Did I do something to upset you?”

“Your existence upsets me.”

Kylo sighed. He really wasn’t surprised by that answer, but he also liked to think that Hux was starting to hate him a little less. Not that Hux would let on if he did. He considered just dropping the issue, but they were stuck together. If he was causing Hux distress, he needed to know.

“Is there anything more specific?”

“You don’t shut up,” Hux said. “It’s really annoying.”

“I’m trying to understand!” Kylo said, getting to his feet. He hadn’t meant to raise his voice, but he couldn’t help himself. He was making an effort to get along with Hux and Hux was making it more difficult than he needed to. “Just fucking tell me what’s wrong!”

“Why would I tell you anything?” Hux shouted back at him, also on his feet. “This entire situation is your fault!”

“You’re the one who asked for my help!”

“And none of it would have been necessary if you’d ever respected me! Instead I get your pathetic attempts to make things up to me now. It’s too little, too late!”

“Then what do you want me to do?”

“Shut up!” Hux shoved him and Kylo fell back onto the bed. He hadn’t been expecting that and was caught by surprise. That was the only reason Hux managed to knock him down. 

He looked up at Hux and although he still seemed angry, there was something else written across his face. Something that seemed more dangerous than Kylo could imagine from Hux. He didn’t have time to think much about it because Hux was on top of him, pushing him back into the bed and kissing him.

Kylo put his arms around Hux, but he pulled away. “Get your filthy hands off me,” he growled as he pulled Kylo’s arms away. Kylo didn’t have time to argue against the logic of Hux’s order because as soon as Hux had Kylo’s arms where he wanted them, he was kissing him again.

It would have been simple to push Hux off of him, even without the Force. Hux didn’t have the strength to hold Kylo down, but Kylo was enjoying it far too much. Kylo would have liked to touch him, but he would take whatever Hux would give. That turned out to be more than expected.

Hux was grinding his hips against him and Kylo could feel just how aroused Hux was. He was too and he couldn’t help but push back against Hux, wanting more friction. Hux was sitting just a little bit too high on him for it to be very effective.

“Hux,” Kylo moaned into his mouth. Hux bit his lip, but he at least had a chance to speak. “If we’re going to take this much further, we should probably take our pants off.”

Hux sat up and Kylo thought he said the wrong thing. But Hux didn’t get up. He just sat there, staring down at Kylo, and Kylo didn’t move, for fear of upsetting Hux and ruining things.

“What exactly are we doing?” Hux asked.

“You tell me. You’re the one in charge. I’m just going with it.”

Hux scooted down a little bit so his butt was right on top of Kylo’s crotch. He pressed his weight down on him slightly and Kylo had to resist the urge to thrust up. “So you are. How far exactly would you let me take this?”

“Whatever you want,” Kylo said without hesitation. Then he thought about their situation a bit more. “We don’t have any lube so, uh, maybe not full on sex? But if you want a blowjob or just grind against each other until we get off, we can do that.”

Hux didn’t move for several moments, but then he reached for his belt and started to take his pants off. Kylo started to do the same, but Hux pushed his hands away. “I want to make a mess of you.”

Kylo really didn’t want to have to wash his clothes, but he also wasn’t about to argue with Hux. Dirty clothes were a small price to pay. Hux soon had his pants down to the top of his boots but Kylo didn’t have a chance to look at him, as he laid back down on top of him.

“Hux,” Kylo moaned as he started to thrust against him.

“Shut up,” Hux said, capturing his mouth in another kiss. As long as Hux kept kissing him, Kylo could comply with that order.


	14. Chapter 14

It was the middle of the day and Hux was still laying in bed next to Ren. They’d gone out to get something to eat but then quickly found themselves back in their room, curled around each other. Hux had briefly wondered if there was something in the food or water supply that had affected them, but he knew he couldn’t blame the bad decision on anyone but himself.

He hadn’t planned on jumping on top of Ren and making out with him, but when Hux had knocked him down on the bed and Ren looked up at him with those big, sad eyes of his, Hux couldn’t help himself. He wanted Ren and he took exactly what he wanted.

Ren had at least been a willing partner. More than Hux expected, actually. Since he’d gone in without a plan, he hadn’t had any idea how things would end. Ren seemed to figure it out quickly and Hux hadn’t been sure what exactly he wanted. But at least he knew just how far he could take things with Ren.

He should have hated the idea of having sex with Ren, but he found that he was curious. There had never been time for Hux to explore such things before - not to mention the lack of an appropriate partner - but now he had time. And he had Ren.

He still hated Ren, of course, but maybe fucking him was a better idea than yelling at him. Yelling at each other had never accomplished anything before - they’d simply walk off, both angry and then start all over again later. But after what they’d done - whatever _that_ was - Hux really didn’t feel angry.

Hux also decided that he liked kissing Ren. He might hate him, but he had no one else to kiss, so he might as well take what he could get. Hux squirmed in Ren’s arms, moving up to plant a quick kiss on him. Ren was half asleep and slowly opened his eyes and smiled.

“You’re in a good mood,” he mumbled.

“I am, so it’d be wise if you didn’t ruin it by talking.”

“I’m sure you can think of other things I can do with my mouth.”

“You’re right.” Hux kissed him again, and soon, Ren rolled onto his back, bringing Hux with him as he moved so Hux was on top of him. Hux still felt strange about Ren having his hands on him, but as long as he didn’t think too much about it, he didn’t mind.

Hux did enjoy touching Ren. He had one hand on the side of his face while his other found its way up Ren’s shirt. He’d felt that muscle whenever Ren held him, but it was the first time that Hux had really touched him. All the muscle under him felt good, but it was a reminder that Ren was letting him be in control. He could change that in a heartbeat.

“Hux?” Ren moved his head away so he could speak. “What’s wrong?”

“You tell me. You’re the one who stopped.”

“You were - are - scared.”

“I’m not,” he said, sitting up, but he remained on Ren. “Normally I’d tell you not to read my mind, but you seem to be losing your touch.”

“I wasn’t reading your mind. I just.. felt that. Fear.”

“Not from me.”

“You’re the only one here.”

“What could I possibly be afraid of?”

“Me.” Ren sounded so sad when he spoke that Hux didn’t even think to argue. His first thought was to kiss him again and reassure him. But it was Ren. He didn’t deserve to be comforted.

“Why would I be afraid of you?”

“Because I hurt you before. You think I’ll do it again.” Kylo fell silent for a moment and then spoke up again. “You’ve never let yourself do this, have you? You feel vulnerable.”

Hux finally climbed off of Ren. He hated to admit that Ren was right but he wasn’t about to say it out loud. Ren could just read his mind like he seemed to be doing anyway. Despite that, Hux really wasn’t mad at him. It was one of those things that he’d simply gotten used to with Ren.

“We should probably look for a new ship,” he said. “We can wait a few days for something suitable, but I don’t think we’ve been tracked. It’ll be safe to go to the _Finalizer_.”

“Hux,” Ren said, shifting on the bed. Soon, Hux could feel him sitting behind him. “Can I hug you?”

“No.”

Ren moved to sit beside him. Hux thought that he would have ignored his request and hugged him anyway. He was disappointed that he didn’t. At the same time, it was good to know that Ren could at least pretend to care. Or maybe he really did care. Hux hadn’t forgotten what he’d seen in Ren’s mind.

“I’m not afraid of you,” Hux said eventually. He wished that were true. There were times when it was, when Hux was perfectly comfortable laying against Ren or kissing him. But he couldn’t stop himself from being afraid. He knew all too well what Ren was capable of.

“Hux -”

“Don’t talk.” Hux wanted to say something else to him, but he wasn’t sure what. There really was nothing else for them to say to each other. All they could do was make the best of their situation.

After sitting in silence for a while, Ren reached over and took Hux’s hand. Hux was surprised, but he let him do it. Almost as soon as they were touching, Hux felt warm, as if someone had wrapped a blanket around him. It was more than just warmth - it was safety as well. Sitting there holding Ren’s hand, he felt like there was a bubble around him that would protect him from anything. Nothing could hurt him.

That was something Ren was capable of, Hux remembered. He’d used the Force to protect them both during a shuttle crash. He’d been surprised - both at Ren’s abilities and the fact that Ren had saved him. Ren’s words rang in his mind too - he hadn’t really meant to save Hux. He was only nearby.

_“That was a lie,”_ Ren said, although his lips didn’t move. It took Hux a moment to realize Ren was speaking inside his mind. _“I made sure that you were close enough that I could save you.”_

Hux stared at him and although Ren didn’t speak, he could feel his intentions in the Force. Part of him wanted to pull away from Ren, wanting to end their strange connection and because he knew he shouldn’t trust Ren. But the part of him that was so desperate for someone to care about him won out and he threw his arms around Ren.

He might hate the man, but Ren was the only thing Hux had in the galaxy. If he died, Ren would be the only one who cared. Most of the galaxy would celebrate. But not Ren. In his own way, Ren did care about him and even if he ended up hurting Hux again, it really was the best he could hope for. 

Ren put his arms around him and held him, one hand coming up to stroke his hair. As much as Hux didn’t want to cry around Ren - or at all - he couldn’t help himself. He’d let Ren hold him before, but the gentle petting was too much. He didn’t deserve such gentle treatment, but Ren also didn’t deserve to be gentle. 

Hux had felt lost ever since leaving the First Order. Nothing had made sense. But now, in Ren’s arms, Hux knew he was where he belonged.

“Ren,” he muttered softly against him, nuzzling into his neck.

“Kylo,” he said, giving him a quick kiss on the top of his head. “Call me Kylo.”

“Kylo.”

***

Kylo wasn’t sure how he was supposed to concentrate on his task when Hux was holding his hand. And it wasn’t just the reluctant hand-holding that Hux let him get away with in the privacy of their room. They were walking around the city, hand in hand.

At least when the time came, Kylo found that he was able to focus enough to use the Force in order to get supplies. Once they had everything they needed, they would be on their way. Kylo had found a ship and Hux had killed the owner. They could have tried a mind trick, but there was always the possibility that would wear off and Hux wanted plenty of time to stock up on supplies.

Kylo made sure that the body wouldn’t be found until well after they were gone, which meant they had plenty of time to walk around and get everything they might need. Or want. It was easier to catch some of Hux’s stray thoughts while holding hands, and as they passed a clothing seller, Kylo could sense that Hux wanted something. His attention was immediately brought to a hooded robe. 

It really didn’t seem like Hux’s style but Kylo wanted him to have whatever he wanted. Kylo led them over and although Hux was confused and then insisted that he didn’t need anything, Kylo made him pick something out, letting go of his hand so he could look at the cloaks.

Kylo watched as Hux ran his hand across the cloaks, feeling the fabric and looking at the different designs. Some of them were very intricate in their patterns. Definitely not something Kylo would wear - he preferred simpler things - but he could easily imagine Hux in some of those gorgeous robes.

“This one,” Hux said finally, picking out a light blue cloak. It wasn’t as detailed as some of the others, but there was a flower pattern around the lower edge and some decorative ribbon around the hood.

“Reminds me of your couch,” Kylo said with a smile. He went over to the seller and quickly mind tricked them into letting Hux take the cloak. By the time he had done that, Hux had his new cloak on, which looked gorgeous on him.

Kylo took his hand once more and they went on their way. Although they had stocked up on plenty of food and fuel, Kylo couldn’t help but pick up extra things. Mostly, he found himself picking up a lot of little treats - things that he was sure Hux had never had before. Some of them they shared right then, but most of it was saved.

Hux wanted to bring some spare parts in case the _Finalizer_ was in need of more repairs, so they found what was basically a junkyard and Hux picked out everything he needed. While he was doing that, Kylo found a few things that caught his eye - parts that would make a nice casing for a lightsaber. As he looked around, he found just about everything he would need to build a new weapon except for a kyber crystal, of course. Kylo knew it’d be much harder to come across one of those.

Although he knew they wouldn’t have time to go out and find a crystal, Kylo took the parts anyway. He might want to build a new one someday. But in the meantime, he knew exactly where to get a weapon from. They’d just have to make a slight detour.

Once they had the parts they would need, they had them delivered to their ship and Kylo used the Force to make the job of loading much easier. Since they were planning on leaving soon, Kylo wasn’t as cautious about the use of his powers. By the time word of a Force user on that planet could reach the Resistance, Kylo would be long gone.

“Guess we should get going,” Hux said once everything was on board.

“Yeah,” Kylo agreed. “But there’s no reason we can’t spend another few hours here.”

“Oh? You have something in mind?”

“I might.” Kylo grinned and took Hux’s hand, leading him back into the city. When the idea first came to him, Kylo thought it had been good, but as they walked around, Kylo wondered if Hux would hate it. He might just say it was a waste of time and insist they leave immediately. 

Getting the supplies he needed was easy enough, but Kylo couldn’t help but feel a little nervous as they hopped into a speeder and drove onto the cliffs overlooking the city. Kylo stopped the vehicle and watched Hux carefully as he got out.

“What are we doing here?” Hux asked as he glanced around.

“I thought we could, um. Just have a quiet moment.”

“We’ve had plenty of those already,” Hux said.

“This is different. You’ll see.” Kylo really didn’t know how to explain it, and he was worried that Hux already hated the idea. He thought about just getting back in the speeder and heading back to the ship, but instead, he pulled a blanket out of the back of the speeder and laid it down on the ground.

“Sit down.” 

Hux did as he was asked and Kylo could feel Hux watching him as he went and grabbed the bag of food from the speeder. Kylo returned to the blanket and sat down next to Hux, spreading out the food in front of them.

“What is this?” Hux asked.

“A picnic,” Kylo said. “Eating outside.”

“Like when you’re on a mission planetside?”

“This is much nicer.”

“Yes, it is.” Hux picked up a piece of fruit and took a bite. “What’s the point of all this?”

“There isn’t. Not really. It’s just a way to spend time together. Something different. We don’t have to stay. We can go back to the ship if you hate this. I just thought -”

“Kylo,” Hux interrupted and Kylo stopped taking immediately. He still wasn’t used to hearing Hux use his name. Hux leaned over and kissed him quickly. “This is fine. I’ve just never done anything like this before. But this seems very nice. Thank you.”

Kylo smiled and finally felt himself able to relax. Hux didn’t hate the idea of a picnic. They ate slowly, talking as they did, but not about anything important. Just casual observations about the world around them. Every now and then, Hux’s fingers would brush against Kylo - his arm or the back of his hand or his knee - and Kylo wanted nothing more than for Hux to keep touching him.

After they had finished eating, Kylo got his wish. Hux moved to sit closer and leaned against him. The sun was starting to set and they watched as the sky turned different shades as the sun slowly disappeared. As they had learned that first night on the planet, it got cold once the sun had set, so they didn’t stay and wait for it to set completely.

By the time they made it back to their ship, it was dark and Kylo could feel the chill in the air. At least they had made it inside before the temperature really dropped. Not that the ship would be much warmer but, it was at least warmer than it was outside.

“I’ll plug in the coordinates,” Hux said. “The _Finalizer_ might have moved on, but I should be able to find her.”

“We need to make one other stop first,” Kylo said.

“Where?”

“Kef Bir,” Kylo answered. “In the Endor system.”

“Endor? What could we possibly need there?” 

“You’ll see. I’ll need you to pilot the ship for a bit once we get there. Think you’re up for it?”

“I think I can manage.”

“Good.” Kylo put in the coordinates, and soon they were on their way. There really wasn’t anything to do while traveling through hyperspace and it didn’t take long for Hux to end up in Kylo’s lap.

They made good use of their time, not only exploring their new ship, but exploring each other. As much as Kylo liked to touch every single part of Hux’s body, he quickly found that he had a fondness for his ass and had trouble keeping his hands off of him. But there were other areas he enjoyed as well - his tiny nipples, his soft stomach, his collarbones. There really was nothing about Hux that Kylo didn’t like.

When the alert came that they would be dropping out of hyperspace soon, Kylo couldn’t help but think it was far too soon. He wanted more time with Hux, but he also knew his mission was important. And they’d have plenty of time together soon.

They put their clothes back on, or at least, some of them. Kylo didn’t see any point in getting fully dressed when he knew that he was likely going to get soaked. And even if he didn’t, he was fairly certain that he and Hux would be taking their clothes off again as soon as possible. There would be no one around to see him anyway, so Kylo simply put his pants back on, while Hux settled for an undershirt and underwear.

“I’ll get us in location,” Kylo said once they’d walked into the cockpit. “I’m going to open up the ramp and I’ll just need you to hold her steady as best you can.”

“I can do that,” Hux said.

Finding the general area was easy enough - Kylo would never forget exactly what that place looked like for as long as he lived. But even though it hadn’t been long, the ocean currents could move a small object far. Kylo had to use the Force to locate one tiny crystal in that ocean, but in the end, he managed to get to a place where he knew he was close enough.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, jumping up from the pilot’s seat. He could see Hux taking over the controls as he ran towards the ramp, using the Force to lower it.

The roar of the ocean was deafening, but Kylo didn’t need to hear. He just needed to feel. The crystal called to him, just as it always had, although it was weaker now. If it was because of the distance, the ocean, or the fact that Kylo had lost touch with the dark side, Kylo didn’t know. But it didn’t matter. As long as he could feel it, he could call it. And he did.

At first, it seemed as if nothing was happening, and Kylo wondered if it might be impossible to call his lightsaber up from the bottom of the ocean. But soon he could feel it coming closer. He pulled harder, knowing that he had to fight the ocean as well as gravity. It felt like it might have taken hours, but he soon saw his lightsaber coming towards his hand.

It hit him with enough force to sting, but Kylo wasn’t bothered by the pain. He had his lightsaber back. It might need repairs - he might need to take the crystal and build an entirely new lightsaber - but he had it back. He couldn’t help but smile as he brought the ramp back up and made his way back to the cockpit.

“What were you… oh.” Hux’s eyes went right to Kylo’s hand where he held his still dripping lightsaber. “That thing was always unstable before. Are you sure it won’t explode on us?”

“No,” he said. “I was never sure of that.” His thumb drifted over the activation switch, but he decided not to try it. He hadn’t built it to withstand being submerged and under pressure for an extended period of time. He’d take it apart and let the components dry out and make sure they were still in good condition. And if not, he already had what he would need to repair it.

“How did your lightsaber end up in the middle of the ocean?” Hux asked as Kylo sat down in the pilot’s chair. He saw that Hux had already put in the coordinates for their next jump.

“I threw it.”

“You threw it? Why would you do something like that?”

“I, um.” Kylo really didn’t want to explain the situation to Hux at the moment. “It was an impulse.”

“Clearly. And here I thought Skywalker took it from you.”

“She did, actually. Well, I dropped it. She caught it and stabbed me.”

“What?”

They had just made it far enough from the moon to make the jump to lightspeed and Kylo did before turning to face Hux.

“She just about killed me. She would have too. But she healed me.”

“Sometimes, I think I had a messed up family, but at least we stopped at killing each other.”

“Hux, we can talk about our families and who tried to kill who, or we can go back to the bunk and finish what we started.”

“That’s hardly a difficult choice,” Hux said. He stood up and grabbed Kylo’s arm, pulling him up as well. As soon as he was on his feet, Kylo pulled Hux into a kiss. Hux allowed Kylo to maneuver him to the back wall of the cockpit, but just as Hux started to reach into Kylo’s pants, an alarm started going off.

Swearing, Hux pushed Kylo off of him and turned around, quickly hitting a switch that had been just about at ass level. Realizing what had happened, Kylo couldn’t help but laugh, which earned him a quick smack in the arm from Hux.

“We’d better actually go to the bunk,” Hux said. “Or at least somewhere that we can’t hit anything important.”

Kylo laughed again and pulled Hux into another quick kiss before leading him to the back of the ship. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so happy.

***

It was late when Rey made it back to the base. They’d located the stolen cargo ship and Rey had gone with the recovery team just in case Ben - or maybe he really was Kylo - was still around. She didn’t think he would be, but she knew no one else was qualified to deal with him.

As expected, he didn’t seem to be on the planet anymore and the cargo ship was abandoned. Rey stayed behind, looking for any evidence of where Kylo might have gone. It took some time, but she’d found someone who seemed to have been influenced by a mind trick to give up his ship. Rey managed to get all the information on that ship before returning to the base. She would let someone else see if they could find it, and if so, then Rey would check it out. But all she wanted to do was get back to base with Poe and Finn.

She knew they’d probably be asleep, but at least she’d be with them. After being on her own for most of her life, the last thing she wanted was to ever be apart from her family. But they each had their own projects in rebuilding the Republic. Finn was working to decondition the former stormtroopers, while also helping Lando and Jannah find more. Poe was keeping the Resistance together. And Rey was trying to rebuild the Jedi, while also making sure Kylo didn’t become a problem. 

It was exhausting for all of them and it was rare they all had any length of time together. When Rey walked into their quarters, she saw that they were both there, and she smiled. Poe was laying behind Finn, an arm draped over him. Rey wanted nothing more than to curl up with them, but she knew after her mission, she needed a shower.

At least it didn’t take her long to clean up and as soon as she had dried off, she climbed into bed. Finn immediately put an arm around her, but it took him several moments to actually wake up.

“Rey? You’re back!”

“Go back to sleep,” she whispered. “You’ll wake up Poe.”

“Already awake,” he mumbled. “How’s mission?”

“I think that’s something we can discuss in the morning,” Rey said. “When you’re able to form a complete sentence.”

“You didn’t find anything?” Finn asked.

“Nothing that required my immediate attention. Or yours. I’ll tell you all about it in the morning.”

“Glad you’re back,” Finn said, giving her a quick kiss.

“Me too.” Rey smiled and closed her eyes, feeling better than she had in days now that she was finally home.


	15. Chapter 15

Hux could feel Kylo’s eyes on him as he dressed. Despite everything they’d done together the past few days, he still felt self-conscious being naked in front of Kylo. It seemed like Kylo had put his mouth on every single part of his body, so having Kylo’s eyes on him really should be no different. But Hux couldn’t help but feel inadequate.

He’d always been thin - his father had never failed to remind him when he’d been alive - and he relied on his clothing to hide that fact. As much as he liked to tell himself that he no longer cared, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about it. Especially when he had Kylo to compare himself to. Not that Kylo had complained at all about how he looked. Still, Hux couldn’t wait to be dressed.

If everything went as planned, they would rendezvous with the _Finalizer_ soon, so instead of putting on any of the various clothes Kylo had gotten for him, he pulled out his old uniform and started putting it on. It had been folded up in a bag and wasn’t in the best condition, but it would be good enough. He probably didn’t need to wear it at all, but Hux would feel strange being on his ship without it.

“Never thought I’d see you in that again,” Kylo remarked as he was putting his tunic on.

“Never thought I’d wear it again.” He’d considered throwing it away, but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it. Now that he had experience outside of the First Order, Hux realized it had been a terrible place - nothing good had happened to him there. Now, he was happy, or at least as happy as he could be. Maybe when they had finished their mission, he would finally destroy the uniform. But for now, he needed it.

“You plan on walking out like that?” Hux asked once he was fully dressed in his uniform. Kylo hadn’t moved from the bed.

“I could get away with it,” he said as he sat up. “But you might get jealous if I let everyone else take a look at this.”

“I don’t get jealous,” Hux said, adjusting his gloves. They were perfectly fine, but Hux felt like he should do something. “However, I would be worried that the crew might drop dead of fright. I’ll be waiting in the cockpit. We should be there soon so if you plan on getting dressed, you better hurry.”

Hux made it to the cockpit just as the alert that they were coming out of hyperspace went off and Hux settled himself down into the pilot’s chair. He didn’t have much experience flying beyond the basic training all officers went through, but he thought he could manage to land the ship if necessary. Still, he found himself hoping that Kylo would be there by the time they needed to land.

When the ship dropped out of hyperspace, Hux was greeted by a familiar sight and he couldn’t help but smile as the _Finalizer_ filled the viewport. He didn’t have time to think of fond memories, as he needed to make sure they weren’t shot down. He opened up a communication channel.

“ _Finalizer_ , this is General Hux,” he said. It felt strange to use his old title. “I’m in the shuttle that just appeared on your sensors and I’d like clearance to board my ship.”

“Can you verify your identity?” A familiar voice replied.

“Mitaka? Is that you? I don’t have anything on me for verification, but I’ll allow you to conduct the standard procedure on an unknown ship boarding.” It would be a bit time consuming, but once they realized that he was who he said he was - and that he was with Kylo Ren - there shouldn’t be a problem.

“Please hold on a moment,” Mitaka said. There was silence for a few minutes and Hux couldn’t believe he had to wait to board his own ship. At least they were cautious and not letting just anyone board. “Sir, we’re going to run a scan for explosives before you come on board. Is there anything dangerous on board?”

“Kylo Ren.”

“Uh, we’ll make this as quick as possible, sir.”

It only took a few seconds for Mitaka to come back on the line and tell him that he was authorized to land, although he did request that everyone stay on board until they’d been cleared. Hux agreed, knowing that he was simply following procedure. 

The landing was a little bit rough, but the ship was still in one piece, and as far as Hux was concerned, that meant it was successful. He did worry about the damage he likely did to the hangar floor, but as much as he liked his ship in pristine condition, there were more important things to worry about.

Once landed, Hux lowered the boarding ramp and went to wait for the inspection team to come on board and verify his identity. Almost as soon as he made it to the entrance of the ship to wait, Kylo came out of their room to join him. Fortunately, he had decided to get dressed, although he looked like a smuggler, not the Supreme Leader.

“What are we waiting for?” he asked. He started to head for the ramp, but Hux reached out and stopped him.

“We don’t have valid clearance codes,” Hux said. “Standard procedure is that someone verifies our identity. It shouldn’t take them long. Really, as soon as someone walks up that ramp and sees us, we should be cleared.”

“Why not just leave? What are they going to do? Yell at us?”

“It’s not about getting in trouble,” Hux said with a sigh. He couldn’t believe that Kylo had ever been Supreme Leader, given how little he knew about how the Order operated. “It’s a security precaution and the best thing to do is go along with it.”

“Maybe I could be convinced to wait,” Kylo said, moving closer to Hux until he was pressed against him. “I think a kiss might do it.”

“This is neither the time or place for that,” Hux said, although he was very tempted to do as Kylo wanted. He was starting to lean in closer when the sound of boots reminded him of just why it was a bad time. 

Hux pushed himself away from Kylo just as Mitaka and four stormtroopers came up the ramp. From the look on Mitaka’s face and the way he looked between them, Hux knew that Mitaka had definitely seen a little of what had just happened, although perhaps he would assume they had been fighting. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t gotten in each other’s faces to fight before.

“General,” Mitaka said. Then, he glanced towards Kylo. “Supreme Leader. We are glad to have you back on board.”

“It’s good to be back,” Hux said. “We have a mission of utmost importance. I’ll need a status update on the _Finalizer_ and then we’ll see what steps we need to take to complete the mission.”

“Yes, sir,” Mitaka said. He glanced over to Kylo.

“He’s in charge of this,” Kylo muttered.

Mitaka looked relieved and then got off the ship, letting Hux take the lead. He walked back to the bridge of his ship, something he never thought he would get a chance to do again. There were a few cheers from the crew when he walked onto the bridge and Hux couldn’t help but smile. It was good to be home.

Things soon settled down and Hux was provided with all the status updates on the ship. It took no time for him to get right back to issuing orders, decided what systems were the most critical to repair and what supplies they would need. Fortunately, Hux had anticipated a number of their needs and already had much of what they needed on his shuttle. He had a team of technicians ordered to unload the supplies and sort it out by which department things needed to go to.

Once that was all sorted out, Hux decided it was time to tell the crew - or what was left of it since most had been transferred to other ships - about what was going on with the First Order. He knew that some might want to leave hearing that the Order was dead, but Hux hoped that at least some of them were still loyal. They were already running on a skeleton crew and Hux did not want to lose too many more.

“I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors,” Hux began, addressing the crew on the bridge as well as transmitting to the rest of the ship. Everyone needed to hear what he had to say. “Some have said that I betrayed the Order, but it was the Order that betrayed all of us. We were nothing but pawns in the game of an ancient Sith Lord and I could not go along with that. The Sith had their chance to lead the galaxy and they failed. They did not deserve another chance. Therefore, I did help destroy the so-called Final Order.

“My mission now is to destroy what remains of the Final Order, as their very existence goes against everything we were taught. After that, the First Order is done. If anyone on board does not wish to take part in this final mission, then transport will be arranged for you. For the stormtroopers and the others who do not know where they came from, there is help available for you. Make your decisions within the next three days.”

Hux ended the transmission but he still had to face the crew on the bridge. Everyone seemed to be in a state of shock, and Hux couldn’t blame them. He had never imagined giving a speech like that and he didn’t know how he would react had he heard those words when he had been at a lower rank.

“Nice speech,” Kylo said as he came up beside him. “Hope we don’t lose the entire crew.”

“If we do, then we’ll operate this Star Destroyer on our own,” Hux said.

“Sir,” Mitaka said, approaching them. “I know you said three days, but I just wanted to let you know I’ve made my decision. I’m staying.”

“Thank you, Mitaka,” Hux said. He looked over to Kylo. “There’s at least three of us. Perhaps that will be sufficient.”

“I’m staying too,” another voice called out. Soon, the entire bridge crew was jumping in, agreeing to stay. Hux couldn’t help but smile. He always knew the _Finalizer_ ’s crew was loyal and it was nice to see that they were loyal to him, not just to the Order.

“I appreciate your support,” Hux said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to reacquaint myself with my quarters.”

Hux left, feeling confident that enough of the crew would stay to make their mission run smoothly. He needed to do a few things before going to sleep, but he could take care of that in his quarters. He couldn’t wait to sleep in his own bed.

***

Kylo watched as Hux walked off the bridge and he soon realized how out of place he looked. He’d never worn a uniform, but at least his usual black robes fit in among the crew. Or at least they fit in more than his current outfit of a light brown shirt, a dark jacket and dark pants. The pants at least looked black, although had they been in sunlight, Kylo knew they appeared more purple.

It didn’t take long for Kylo to follow after Hux. At least he didn’t need to say anything to anyone. The crew was likely more than happy for him to leave. They’d always been afraid of him, and he didn’t think anything had changed. 

Kylo’s plan was to follow Hux to his quarters, but he remembered that he’d left his lightsaber on board the shuttle. He didn’t think anyone would touch it, but he would feel better if he had it close to him. He still needed to take it apart, but that could wait another day. He’d much rather spend the night with Hux.

After retrieving his weapon, he wondered if Hux would want him around anymore. They’d only start sharing a bed out of necessity. The shuttle did have separate bunks they could have used but maybe Hux had just gotten used to the idea of sleeping next to him. Now that he was back in his own quarters, he might feel different. 

Kylo knew that Hux’s feelings about him were still complicated. He could sense it every time they kissed or lay in each other’s arms. Hux certainly didn’t like him enough that he would want to spend every moment together. Kylo was fairly certain that Hux would actually want some distance between them.

As Kylo walked down the corridor, he paused at Hux’s door, but in the end, he decided to keep walking. He didn’t want to crowd Hux and make him hate him again. He hoped that their relationship wouldn’t end now that they had space between them, but he wasn’t going to push Hux. 

Kylo found that his quarters were exactly how he left them. He took a look around and saw that he even had some of his old robes in case he decided he wanted to look the part of the Supreme Leader. As he looked at them, he wasn’t sure he really cared to wear them again. He wasn’t the Supreme Leader or a Knight of Ren. He was just Kylo.

He found his toolkit for his lightsaber and quickly started taking it apart. He could have done it with the Force, but he liked to work with his hands. It relaxed him. There was quite a bit of water still inside and Kylo put everything on a towel. Just from looking at it, Kylo thought that most of the components were still in good enough condition to work once they dried out. There were a few small pieces he’d replace, but he had what he needed. The lightsaber would be in working condition long before they needed to worry about Pryde and the Final Order.

Kylo held the kyber crystal and fell into a quick meditation. It had been a while since he’d held his crystal in his bare hand. It thrummed with the dark side of the Force, although Kylo remembered a time when it hadn’t. And something told him that it could be cleansed, healed. He could change the crystal back. 

He could see the process of healing the crystal and Kylo almost immediately dropped it. For a few moments, he just stared at the fallen crystal before picking it up and putting it back on the table with the rest of the lightsaber components. It was almost as if the crystal was calling out to him, asking to be healed.

Kylo didn’t know the exact process, but he’d felt it. In order to do it, he knew he’d need to be in touch with the light side. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever been able to use the light side like that. For a brief moment, he considered asking Rey whenever he saw her again to heal the crystal. If anyone could do it, she could. But that didn’t seem right. He was the one to bleed the crystal. If anyone was going to heal it, it needed to be him.

A loud knock on the door snapped Kylo’s attention away from the crystal. He was on his feet and walking towards the door before he even thought about how would be on the other side. He reached out with the Force and was surprised to sense Hux, although he couldn’t imagine anyone else bothering him.

“Is something wrong?” Kylo asked as he opened the door.

“That’s exactly what I was going to ask you,” Hux said as he walked inside. Kylo closed the door and watched as Hux walked around his room. He looked down at his lightsaber pieces before turning his attention back to Kylo. “You’ve been in here playing with this thing?”

“Is that a problem?” He didn’t see why Hux would care what he’d been up to. He’d been minding his own business and not disturbing anyone else. Not unless he’d unintentionally done something with the Force.

“I’m just curious why you chose to spend several hours taking apart your weapon instead of coming to my quarters.”

“Was I supposed to?” Kylo knew they hadn’t made any plans, otherwise he would have gone to Hux. He would have preferred that. Kylo was also surprised that he’d apparently been in his quarters for hours. He checked a datapad on his desk and saw that it was indeed in the middle of the ship’s night cycle.

“I suppose I just assumed things were like that between us,” Hux said, his face starting to turn pink. “I see that I was wrong.”

“Wait,” Kylo said. He grabbed Hux’s arm before he could leave. “I thought you’d want some time to yourself. I didn’t know. I wanted to. Go to your quarters. But I didn’t think you would want me.”

“I didn’t realize just how used to your presence I’ve become,” Hux said. He didn’t pull away from Kylo. Instead, he leaned into him and Kylo couldn’t help but put his arms around him. “When I realized you weren’t coming, I tried to go to bed, but I couldn’t fall asleep. It felt too lonely.”

“If you want me in your bed, I’ll be there,” Kylo said. “Whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want,” Hux repeated. He pulled away from Kylo and looked at him. Kylo wondered if he’d said the wrong thing, but Hux remained close, and it didn’t feel like he was mad.

“I believe that we need to discuss things,” Hux said. He walked over to Kylo’s couch and sat down. Kylo followed him, wondering just what there was to discuss. “I assumed that we would continue our relationship, and it seems like you’re in agreement.”

Kylo nodded. He was a little surprised that Hux was actually talking to him about this. He glanced at his kyber crystal, wondering if maybe it was causing some kind of hallucination. That seemed like a more reasonable thing than having Hux actually talking things over. 

“Well, I was also hoping to take things further in our relationship. I assumed that we would be going there, but if it’s not something you want to do, then that’s okay with me. I… I’m not entirely sold on the idea myself, but it’s something I think I’d like to try.”

“What are you talking about?” Kylo could see that Hux was blushing and he couldn’t imagine what would be causing that reaction from him. Or maybe it was just talking about it. Hux seemed fine doing all sorts of things with him, but they’d never actually talked about it.

“I want to have sex.”

“Uh, Hux?” Kylo suddenly felt very awkward. “What do you think we’ve been doing?”

“That’s not sex. That’s… I don’t actually know what any of that is, but it’s not sex. Do they call that sex where you come from?”

“Uh, yeah. Pretty sure they call that sex in most places.” But it did make Kylo wonder. Maybe he was wrong and none of that actually counted. He didn’t want to believe that because that would mean he’d never had sex before. 

“Right, well, I’m talking about what they show in the education files,” Hux said. “Although I suppose you never would have taken a First Order health class. Here.”

Hux took a datapad out of his pocket and very quickly pulled up a diagram with illustrations showing two people having sex. There was a bit of text, but neither the images or words were very descriptive. Kylo stared at it for a moment and then realized that Hux had found that image far too quickly for him to have searched for it. He’d already looked it up.

“Like I said, we don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought… well, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Hux started to get up but Kylo pulled him back down to the couch. He’d been staring at the diagram and Hux must have taken his silence as a rejection, and that was definitely not what Kylo wanted to do. He just couldn’t believe that Hux had looked up diagrams.

“I do,” Kylo said. “I do want that. I’m just surprised. But I want to.”

“When I thought you’d just come to my quarters, I thought things might just happen.” Hux reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bottle. “I got this because I wanted to be ready. I didn’t expect to talk about it.”

Kylo didn’t have look too closely at the bottle to know what it was. He couldn’t believe that Hux had come to his quarters with a bottle of lube in his pocket. He took Hux’s hand in his, just wanting to hold onto him for a moment.

“Since we are talking about it, when do we want to do this?” Kylo asked. They’d simply fallen into each other and touched each other constantly before. But now that they were discussing things, it seemed like they might as well talk about everything. “Should we just see what happens next time we start kissing?”

“That could work.” Almost as soon as he spoke, Hux leaned in and kissed him. It took Kylo a moment to realize exactly what Hux was saying with that kiss. He was surprised, as he hadn’t expected Hux to want to do anything right then, but Kylo wasn’t opposed to the idea. 

Kylo laid back on the couch, pulling Hux on top of him. He took Hux’s belt off and slid his hands up his shirt. He loved how soft Hux was and he still couldn’t get over just how small he was under his uniform. Delicate was the word Kylo wanted to use to describe him but he knew he could never say that out loud. Regardless of how well they were getting along, Hux would probably stab him for saying that. Kylo smiled at that thought. He might not even mind if Hux stabbed him. 

“Hux,” Kylo sais as Hux started to kiss his neck. “Do you want to do this here or should we go to the bed?”

“We should probably move,” Hux said, barely lifting his head away from Kylo to speak. “But I don’t want to stop.”

“You don’t have to.” Kylo wrapped his arms tightly around Hux and stood up, using the Force to make sure Hux was secure. He then carried him to his bed, and Hux kept kissing his neck the entire time.

Kylo wanted to put Hux down on the bed and lay on top of him, but he realized Hux might not like that. Despite everything they’d been doing together, he knew Hux was still somewhat afraid of him. Instead, he sat down so Hux would still be on top of him. The last thing he wanted to do was make Hux uncomfortable.

Hux started to pull Kylo’s shirt off, and he had to stop kissing him to do so, but as soon as it was off, Hux was right back on him. Kylo shuddered as he ran his tongue over his collarbones. He knew there were more things that they should probably talk about before they continued, but Kylo didn’t want to ruin the moment. He’d just let Hux do whatever he wanted.

Whatever Hux wanted was exactly what Kylo wanted.


	16. Chapter 16

Hux pulled himself out of Kylo’s arms. He’d wanted to do that as soon as they had finished having sex, but Kylo had held onto him and Hux had fallen asleep. As much as he’d wanted to have sex, he hadn’t realized how embarrassing it could be. 

For the most part, it had been great. Not as good as the rumors made Hux believe, but he knew he would probably do it again. The only thing he hadn’t expected was how emotional it would make him. Kylo getting emotional was expected, and when he had started to cry, Hux hadn’t been surprised. But then, Hux cried as well and he didn’t know why.

Kylo hadn’t laughed at him at least. Which is what he’d expected from the moment he decided to talk to him. But he’d been understanding and gentle throughout the entire thing. Even when Hux had cried, Kylo had held him and kissed him softly. 

Some part of Hux was disgusted that he had done that with Kylo, but that part of him was becoming increasingly smaller. Even now, he wasn’t able to simply walk away from him. Hux instead watched him sleep, and couldn’t help but think he looked good lying in bed with his long hair spread out around him and a sheet tangled in his legs.

He had work to do, and that was what finally got Hux moving. Before he left, he gave Kylo a quick kiss on the cheek and then went into the refresher. He really wasn’t at all surprised to find that none of Kylo’s products were regulation, but that didn’t matter. Hux just needed to clean up and get to the bridge.

As he was dressing, Kylo woke up and he watched Hux silently. He had just put his boots on when Kylo got up from the bed and wrapped his arms around Hux from behind, nuzzling into his neck. 

“You should come back to bed,” Kylo murmured softly.

“I have work to do,” Hux said. Still, he reached back to stroke Kylo’s hair. He really would like to stay with Kylo a bit longer, but the mission was more important. Maybe once that was over, he could do nothing but lay in Kylo’s arms all day. Assuming they weren’t separated by the Resistance. 

That was a horrible thought. Hux really hadn’t given much thought to what he would do once Pryde was dead. His plan had been to go back to the Resistance and promise that he’d never do such a thing again. He figured a few tears might even be enough to convince Dameron that he’d had to do it. And if they locked him up, at least Hux could be satisfied knowing he had killed Pryde.

But Hux didn’t know how he could go back to a life without Kylo. Going through the rest of his life without having another chance to be in Kylo’s arms seemed like the worst punishment. He’d just realized how nice it was to be held and he didn’t want that to be taken away from him.

“Something’s bothering you,” Kylo said. 

“Stay out of my head,” Hux said.

“I didn’t do anything, did I?”

“No,” Hux said, shaking his head. “It’s not you. I was just thinking about our mission.”

“I suppose I should let you get back to working on that,” Kylo said.

“Yes, you should.”

Kylo still held on to him, and Hux didn’t even try to get him to let go. Not only did he want to have every possible moment in Kylo’s arms before the mission was over, but it was just comfortable. And Kylo was very warm too, which was a nice contrast to the cool ship air.

Finally, Kylo let his arms fall away and Hux finished getting dressed. Kylo was back in bed, still naked. Before he left, Hux walked over and gave him a kiss. “Do you have any plans for today?” he asked.

“Fixing my lightsaber,” Kylo said. “But that shouldn’t take long.”

“I might need your help if you’d like to come by the bridge. We have a lot of things to repair on this ship before we can do much with her.”

“Okay,” Kylo said, nodding. “It’ll be nice to see you during the day.”

Hux managed to stop himself from agreeing with him. What kind of person was he turning into? Even if he was having sex with Kylo, that didn’t mean he should want to spend any extra time with him. He was not that kind of person.

He walked out of Ren’s quarters, glad that no one else was in the corridor to see. He knew it didn’t matter that he had spent the night with Kylo as there were no regulations forbidding such a relationship, and even if there were, it wasn’t as if the First Order truly existed. Still, Hux didn’t want anyone else knowing about him and Kylo. 

Once he made it to the bridge, he focused on his work. The first thing he needed to do was repair as many systems as possible. The parts he’d brought had already been distributed and were just waiting to be repaired. Unfortunately, there were not very many techs on board the ship who could do the work. That would cause a delay, but Hux could also help speed things up himself.

After looking over the reports and deciding what order to work on things, he headed down to one of the engine maintenance rooms. The damage there wasn’t too terrible, but it definitely needed to be repaired. Hux was more than capable of dealing with that himself, so he got to work on the repairs.

It took about an hour, but Hux finally managed to get things working smoothly. Now he just needed to check to make sure the computer systems were communicating properly, but he had to do that from the bridge.

As soon as he arrived back on the bridge, Kylo was in his face and for a moment, Hux thought Kylo was going to hug him right there in front of all the crew. He started to pull back, but Kylo didn’t do it. Instead, he just stood close to him. That wouldn’t look out of the ordinary to the crew. They often got in each other’s faces.

“I didn’t know where you were,” Kylo said softly. That was unusual. Would the crew notice that they weren’t arguing?

“I was repairing the engine,” Hux said. “I didn’t think you’d be here so soon. Did you finish your lightsaber?”

Kylo nodded and he took a step back. When he did, Hux could see that his lightsaber was on his belt, but it looked a little different. It took Hux a moment, but he was able to see what Kylo had changed.

“You put the wires inside,” Hux said. “About time.”

“Thought you might like it.”

“I do,” Hux said. He’d always hated the way the wires hung on the outside of the weapon, as it made it look like it would explode any moment. Hux knew it probably made no difference, but at least it no longer looked like something a child built.

“I need to talk to you in private,” Kylo said. 

There was still a lot of work to be done and Hux would have preferred to focus on that, but he knew that it might be better to deal with Kylo first. If he ignored him, he might mope around on the bridge and pout. He also might decide to discuss whatever it was in front of everyone else and that was the last thing Hux wanted. He nodded and left the bridge with Kylo.

They didn’t go far, only going to the nearest supply room, which would be private enough as usually droids were the only ones who ever went inside. As soon as the door had closed, Kylo threw his arms around Hux and held him tight.

“What are you doing?” Hux started to pull away, surprised by the action but he soon let himself relax and put his arms around Kylo. It wasn’t hard to figure out what Kylo wanted, but Hux wasn’t about to fuck him in a supply closet. Even if it was unlikely that anyone would walk in, Hux didn’t want to take that risk.

“This really isn’t the right time,” Hux said, stroking his hair. “If you want to have sex, it’s going to have to wait.”

“No.” 

Hux started to push Kylo away - that was not something that was up for debate - but Kylo held on tightly. 

“I mean that’s not what I want,” Kylo said. Hux started to relax, but if Kylo didn’t want sex, Hux didn’t know what he was doing, and he didn’t like not knowing that.

“What are we doing, then?” Hux asked.

“I just wanted to hold you,” Kylo said.

Hux sighed. He should have known that Kylo would become clingy. It really was obnoxious and Hux didn’t have time for that, but at the same time, he liked it. There was something to be said about having a man like Kylo needing him and cuddling up to him. Hux stroked Kylo’s hair and he could feel Kylo relaxing against him.

Hux moved them slowly so he was standing against a wall so he could better support Kylo. At first, Hux was worrying about how much time they were going to waste in the closet, but soon, he found that he didn’t care. If the mission was delayed, at least it gave Hux a few more moments with Kylo.

When Kylo finally peeled himself away, Hux found that he wanted to pull Kylo back against him. As much as he would have liked that, Hux knew it was time to get back to work. He and Kylo would have plenty of time to hold each other - and hopefully more - later.

Kylo kept a hold of Hux’s hand until he opened the door and stepped out into the corridor. Hux let his fingers linger as long as possible on Kylo’s. Every now and then as they walked, the backs of their hands would brush, but that was the only contact that Hux could risk. Once on the bridge, Hux separated from Kylo, talking to his crew and seeing just how much progress had been made.

It wasn’t nearly as much as Hux would have liked, but the _Finalizer_ was slowly getting put back together. Hux estimated that in a week, she would be battle ready, assuming they could get any remaining parts that they needed.

Besides parts, the other important thing they needed was the crew. Hux had sent out a form for all crew members to fill out to decide whether they wanted to remain on the _Finalizer_ for her last mission. So far, it had only been the bridge crew members who submitted a response, all of them saying they wanted to stay. Hux had given everyone three days, so he knew he would just have to wait. Hopefully, enough would stick around, otherwise, it was going to take much longer to fix the ship.

It would get done eventually. Hux was certain of that. Even if it was just him and Kylo, they would fix their ship and they would kill Pryde.

***

Kylo knew things would change when they made it back to the _Finalizer_. He really thought that he wouldn’t even see Hux. In some ways, that might have been easier if they had just ended their relationship. At least then he could move on and not hate that he couldn’t hold Hux every moment of the day.

Of course, Kylo was more than happy that Hux hadn’t ended things and that he’d escalated their relationship as well. He might not like needing to keep their distance in public, but at least he had a chance to curl up with him every night. And Hux almost always went with him to the closet during the middle of the day where they could hold on to each other.

Kylo had more than he could have ever hoped for, but he wanted more. He wanted to always be at Hux’s side, touching him in some way. Kylo wanted to hold his hand or hold him. He wanted to kiss him every possible moment. It didn’t matter to Kylo if the crew of the _Finalizer_ knew. It’s not like they could say anything about it.

But he knew Hux and Hux would not tolerate any affection in public. Kylo didn’t quite understand why, but he could respect Hux’s wishes.

Kylo also found that he could follow Hux’s orders. Since Kylo did know a little about fixing ships, Hux was more than happy to put him to work. Sometimes, Hux even arranged for them to work together, and Kylo could steal the occasional kiss while they worked. Those were Kylo’s favorite moments.

The worst were when Kylo was alone in Hux’s quarters, waiting for him to return. Which was what he was currently doing. He tried meditating but couldn’t focus, which left him pacing up and down the room. He could have gone to the exercise room and at least worked off some energy, but he didn’t want to be gone when Hux returned. Kylo would have liked to go to the bridge and see what Hux was doing and maybe get an idea when he would be back, but he couldn’t let anyone on the bridge suspect anything about their relationship, and if Kylo were constantly seeking Hux’s attention, that might give everything away.

Kylo hadn’t even been alone for an hour when the door slid open and Hux walked in. As soon as the door had closed, Kylo had Hux in his arms and was nuzzling against his neck.

“Missed you,” Kylo murmured against him.

“We saw each other less than two hours ago,” Hux said. He sounded annoyed, but the hand in Kylo’s hair meant he wasn’t. Kylo could tell that Hux liked affection, although he’d probably never admit that.

“We’ve sourced the last parts we’ll need to complete the repairs,” Hux said, still stroking Kylo’s hair. “If all goes well, we’ll be fully operational tomorrow.”

“Have we shipped off everyone who wanted to leave?” Kylo asked, finally lifting his head, but keeping his hands on Hux. Hux’s deadline had passed a few days ago and Kylo knew that some people had left, but he didn’t know how many more they had left to send away.

“That matter is more complicated than I anticipated,” Hux said. “The ones that left had places to return to, but I’m not sure what to do with those who don’t have homes. We could take them with us and they can simply do their own thing, but then we’re using our resources. We could leave them somewhere, but what would they do? I could promise to come pick them up when we’re done and bring them back to the Resistance, but I don’t think they’d believe me.”

“Why not drop them off somewhere and have the Resistance pick them up?”

“How would we contact the Resistance without risking being found out? We can’t let them track this ship.”

“The Force. I can tell Rey. She’ll pick them up.”

“She won’t be able to tell anything about where we are?”

Kylo had to think. She wouldn’t be able to see anything besides him, but she could attempt to reach through the bond. Even if she threw something, it could knock something over to her side of the bond. 

“I’ll need to be in an empty room,” Kylo said. “I’ll deliver the message and cut off the connection.”

“She can’t reopen it?”

“I don’t know.” Kylo knew that she could, but before, she’d always been more concerned with keeping it closed. She hadn’t wanted to talk to him. Would she try now? She hadn’t tried yet, so Kylo wondered if she simply wasn’t aware how to manipulate the bond fully. “I don’t think so.”

“We have ten hours before we pick up the parts,” Hux said. “We’ll figure out what to do by then. I’d also like to eat, sleep, and have sex. Not necessarily in that order.”

Kylo was on Hux immediately, kissing him. Hux let him for a few moments, then he gently pushed him away. “Food first,” he said.

As much as Kylo wanted to pull Hux’s clothes off right there, Hux had a point. Kylo hadn’t eaten all day, and he knew Hux probably hadn’t either. It had not taken them long to fall back into their old habits, where they were so busy they didn’t have time to eat. 

The food was the same plain First Order rations that Kylo hated, but Hux at least seemed to enjoy them. They still had some food that Kylo had picked up planetside, but it was mostly treats and not something they could live off of. 

They had to let go of each other in order to go to the mess hall, but Kylo got in one more kiss before they left. Kylo didn’t think it was too suspicious if they were seen eating together, but Hux was still nervous about it. They hadn’t spent that kind of time together when they were co-commanders, and they certainly hadn’t once Kylo was Supreme Leader. But their relationship was very different now, even without the romantic aspect. Kylo thought it made sense to eat together.

Their subordinates did see them getting along on the bridge constantly and saw Kylo doing what Hux told him. That was likely the strangest thing they had noticed. Although it was surely unexpected, there was no reason for them to think anything else was going on between them. If anyone questioned that they had dinner together more often than not, they could always say they were discussing plans, which often was the case.

Not that they really had to worry about anyone asking them any personal questions. Even though Hux had declared that the First Order was gone, the crew still treated them as Supreme Leader and General. That meant they didn’t try to act friendly with them or question them.

“I have a good idea where Pryde might be,” Hux said. “The _Finalizer_ was receiving transmissions from him for a while, and I was able to piece a few things together. With any luck, this will all be over in a couple of days.”

Kylo smiled, but he couldn’t help but worry about what would happen when everything was done. He knew Hux had talked about going back to the Resistance, but would he still want that? Kylo didn’t want to be separated from him, and he suspected the Resistance was going to lock them up. Or at least, they’d try to. 

If Kylo had his way, they’d find some distant planet and disappear and just live their lives together. He remembered the home he’d pictured before - small and cozy and just the two of them. Now, it seemed like an actual possibility since Hux liked sharing a bed and kissing him and fucking him. He wanted to bring it up and ask, but there were others around. That was a conversation to be had in private.

Once they made it back to Hux’s quarters, conversation was the last thing on Kylo’s mind and they both found much better things to do with their mouths than talk. They were on each other as soon as they were behind a closed door. 

They wasted no time and soon had their clothes off and were in bed. Hux didn’t even stop to pick up his uniform from the floor. Even after, he made no move to get up - he just laid on Kylo’s chest, and Kylo stroked his arm.

Kylo didn’t remember falling asleep, which was becoming normal for him. He was so comfortable with Hux, he found himself falling asleep much easier and feeling more rested when he woke up. The thing that usually woke him up was Hux getting up, and as always, Kylo clung to him, wanting him to stay just a little bit longer. Of course, if Kylo had his way, he’d lay in bed all day with Hux.

“We have two hours before we need to pick up our last parts,” Hux said. “I’d like you to come with me in case the seller tries anything.”

“Two hours means we have more time to cuddle.” 

“There’s other things to get done first,” Hux said, sitting up. He put a hand on Kylo’s chest and smiled. “If we shower now, we’ll have time for a little something before we go.”

That was enough motivation to get Kylo up, and as promised, Hux made it worth his while. Kylo really would have been perfectly happy if Hux had simply held him for a while after the shower, but he couldn’t say no to a blowjob, and he had no problem returning the favor.

“Are we leaving the ship?” Kylo asked as he dressed.

“Yes,” Hux said. “We’ll be meeting the supplier on Granby Station.”

“I’ll meet you in the hangar,” Kylo said, giving Hux one last kiss before he left. If Hux needed him to be the enforcer, then he should at least look the part. He went back to his old quarters and put on his old robes.

He didn’t have a mask, but at least the robes helped him look more intimidating than what he had been wearing. It almost felt good to wear his old clothes. They’d always been comfortable, but it was more than that. They actually felt like his clothes rather than someone else’s.

There was still plenty of time before they needed to leave, so Kylo went to the training room. He’d turned his lightsaber on after he’d put it back together to make sure it worked, but he hadn’t used it. Although he felt confident in his abilities, he thought it might be a good idea to run through some quick drills just in case he needed to use his weapon.

Kylo ignited his saber, enjoying the familiar hum of energy and the crackle of the blade. He swung it a few times, getting used to the feel of it, but it really was like an extension of his body. He started some basic drills, running through them faster and faster until he was breathing hard. 

That was sufficient, he decided. If they ended up in a tight spot, Kylo had no doubt he would be able to fight his way out. Hux would almost certainly be armed as well, although Kylo didn’t really care for blasters. Still, they could be useful.

He headed down to the hangar, but Hux wasn’t there. Kylo glanced around, not quite sure which shuttle they would take. They had the shuttle that Kylo acquired, but it was rather beat up. If whoever they were meeting with was going to see their shuttle, it wouldn’t make a good impression. There were a few other shuttles, older models than his Upsilon, but they at least looked a bit better. Kylo didn’t know if they were in good condition to fly though.

Hux walked into the hangar shortly after and Kylo had to resist the urge to run to him and throw his arms around him. Instead, he walked over, stopping a safe distance away. There were a few people walking around.

“We’ll take one of the Order shuttles,” Hux said, motioning to one of them. “That one’s in decent condition.”

They boarded the shuttle and Kylo was glad that Hux didn’t bring a pilot along. Kylo preferred to fly himself, and it also meant they had some private time together. As soon as they had taken off and Kylo had a hand free, he reached over and took Hux’s hand. Kylo kept a hold of Hux’s hand, even when it was time to land, deciding to use the Force to land instead of letting go of Hux.

“Show off,” Hux muttered. Still, Kylo could see the hint of a smile on his face.

They disembarked from the shuttle and Hux led them to the meeting point. Their contact was an alien of a species Kylo didn’t recognize, but he at least spoke Basic. He had a few others with him and Kylo watched them carefully, looking for any sign they might try to start a fight. At the same time, Kylo could tell that they were sizing him up. 

They must have decided that it wouldn’t be worth the trouble to try and cheat them, because soon, Hux shook hands with the alien and one of his people left and returned with a flatbed hover cart with the parts they needed. 

“That went well,” Hux said as they boarded the shuttle. “At least you’re still intimidating.”

“Was that really in question?” The galaxy might know that the First Order had been defeated, but people still knew exactly who Kylo Ren was. 

“I suppose not,” Hux said. “Just for me.”

“What?”

“I’ve had to hold you while you cried after having sex,” Hux said. “It’s a little hard to be afraid of you after that.”

“As long as you’re the only one who can say that,” Kylo said. “And you cried too.”

“If you mention that again, I’ll stab you.”

Kylo grinned. He wasn’t sure if Hux was serious or not, but he wouldn’t be surprised either way. He imagined that Hux wouldn’t try to seriously harm him, but he could easily imagine Hux stabbing him. He was almost tempted to find out, but he kept his mouth shut.

“Now we just need to finish the repairs and figure out what to do with those who don’t want to stay,” Hux said. “As much as I don’t want to contact the Resistance, I think your idea might be our best option.”

“I should change clothes,” Kylo said. “Might not be the best idea for her to see me like this.”

“I’ll have the repair crews get started once we’re back, and then I’ll let everyone know we’re going to have the Resistance pick them up. I think it might be best for you to wait on contacting them until we’ve left the system.”

“Yeah,” Kylo agreed. He didn’t know how fast the Resistance would be able to get someone out to pick everyone up, but he didn’t want to take any more risks than necessary.

Once they were back on the _Finalizer_ , Kylo went back to his quarters to change clothes. As soon as he had them on, he decided he liked his robes better. He would hate to give them up again if they went back to the Resistance, and Kylo wondered if he would actually need to. It’s not as if anyone could force him to wear something. He could already imagine Rey’s argument - she would say he was scaring everyone, but that wouldn’t be Kylo’s problem.

Once dressed in a plain shirt and jacket, Kylo went to check on Hux. He found him in the hangar, addressing a large group of what Kylo guessed were stormtroopers. Or former stormtroopers. They wore plain gray uniforms that the stormtroopers wore when not in armor. When they noticed Kylo, he could feel the change - they suddenly became more nervous, afraid.

“Sir,” one of the troopers said, glancing towards Kylo. “Is it too late to change our minds?”

“No. But are you certain you want to stay?”

“No, but I’m not sure I want to go with the Resistance.”

Kylo hadn’t considered that the troopers would object to the plan. If they wanted to get away, why would they care where they ended up? But they still had their conditioning that told them the Resistance was bad.

“They’ve been helping other former stormtroopers,” Hux said. “They’ll help you as well.”

“They even took in me and Hux,” Kylo said. “They’re not the enemy.” Kylo could sense that they still weren’t convinced. 

“I suppose if you’d like to change your mind and stay, you can,” Hux said. “But you will be expected to perform your duties until the mission is over. We’ll all probably end up with the Resistance in the end, anyway, so you’ll only be delaying it. If you’re leaving, get on board a shuttle. If not, return to your duties.”

Most of the gathered troops boarded one of the shuttles, but several left the hangar. They had pilots scheduled to drop everyone off, which left Hux and Kylo free. Hux returned to the bridge, while Kylo went to the training room. It would be open enough there that Rey wouldn’t be able to find out where he was.

Once he got word from Hux that it was safe to do so, he opened up the connection to Rey. They hadn’t used it much - and Kylo wasn’t sure that Rey had ever tried to open it intentionally. He just hoped she wouldn’t try to do so. The last thing he needed was her spying on him.

“Rey,” he said, once he felt the bond open. He could see her, just as if she were really there in the room with him. She was crouched down, but stood up when he called her name.

“Ben!” She seemed shocked, obviously not expecting any contact from him. “Or is it Kylo now?”

“It’s always been Kylo,” he said without hesitation. 

“I see.”

“You don’t.” Kylo knew he couldn’t get distracted - he needed to end the conversation as soon as possible. “There’s a group of former stormtroopers on Granby Station. If your friends are interested in helping them.”

“I’m not sure I should trust you.”

“Would you have trusted Ben? That was never who I was. He only existed in your imagination.”

Not wanting to continue the discussion, he cut off the connection. He could feel Rey trying to keep it open, but she disappeared. He had to hope that the Resistance would actually pick the troopers up, otherwise, they might be stuck there for a while.

But they weren’t his problem. Now, he and Hux only needed to focus on killing Pryde.

***

As soon as the connection was cut, Rey angrily kicked the toolbox in front of her. She should have tried harder to keep it open. Or done something. She wasn’t really sure what she could have done. It wasn’t as if she could have made Kylo talk.

“Rey? What’s wrong?” Poe walked over, looking at her X-wing.

“Kylo,” she said. “I just spoke to him.”

“What did he say? Do you know where he is?”

“He didn’t say much,” she said. It was rather significant that he seemed confident that his name was Kylo Ren, but Poe had never believed he was anyone different. There was only one thing he said that mattered to the others. “He said there’s a group of former stormtroopers that need our help.”

“You think he’s telling the truth?”

Rey had to think about that. She knew very well that it could be a set up of some kind. She hated to think that Kylo had gone back to the dark side and would try to kill her and her friends, but she knew it was a possibility. “I don’t know,” she said.

Before she had a chance to say anything else, Poe had his arms around her and she melted against him. She had thought that part of her life was over and she’d looked forward to rebuilding the Jedi Order and having a life with Finn and Poe. But Kylo was ruining it all.

“Let’s go get Finn,” Poe said. “We’ll take some time to relax, and then we’ll figure out what to do, okay?”

Rey nodded and they started to head inside. Finn joined them on their way in, and he walked on Rey’s other side. She felt better to have both Finn and Poe with her and once they got back to their quarters, she simply let both of them hold her.

She had no idea what to do about Kylo, but at least she had two people who would never let her down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are Kylo and Hux finally happy together? Is it going to last? Find out next time!


	17. Chapter 17

All of Hux’s plans were falling into place, and he couldn’t help but think that something was about to go horribly wrong. He couldn’t remember a time in his life when so many things had gone right. Something bad always happened, and Hux was just waiting for it.

Would something happen to the _Finalizer?_ She wasn’t in perfect condition, although Hux had done the best he could with the repairs. Everything seemed fine, but what if a critical system failed in battle? 

He had enough confidence in his skills that it didn’t seem likely. The bigger uncertainty was Kylo. Things with him had been good. More than just good, even. It felt like they were finally getting along and working together like Hux had always hoped for. And Hux couldn’t complain about the physical side of their relationship either.

When something went wrong, Hux was sure it would have something to do with Kylo. As affectionate as he was, Hux wasn’t entirely sure how Kylo felt. Sometimes, he thought they really did have a friendship, but other times, Hux was certain it was only physical attraction. Maybe Kylo was just so desperate and Hux was the only one willing to touch him.

And that’s where Hux could see things going wrong. What would happen if Hux didn’t want to touch him? So far, Kylo had behaved himself and not demanded anything at a bad time. But when he did, what would happen if Hux tried to refuse him? Hux knew that he couldn’t do anything against the Force and Kylo would simply take whatever he wanted.

Hux had really enjoyed being with Kylo, and Kylo had always seemed to respect his needs. Would that always hold true? What would happen if Hux did try to tell him no? He hadn’t really considered that before, and he suddenly realized he might not be given much of a choice. Kylo had always gotten his way, taking what he wanted by force if necessary. Hux was an idiot for believing that Kylo had changed.

He might be acting differently, gentler and kinder, but was that only because Hux was giving him what he wanted? Hux wasn’t sure if he wanted to find out. He liked to think of Kylo like he was, someone he could curl up with and hold. Someone who would kiss him gently and run his hands through his hair. He didn’t want to lose that version of Kylo.

“Hux?”

He jumped at hearing Kylo behind him. Hux hadn’t even realized Kylo was on the bridge. Clearly, he’d been too distracted and not just by trying to find Pryde. 

“What’s wrong?” Kylo asked, keeping his voice low.

“Nothing.”

“Hux, I can feel your distress.”

“Then stop reading my mind!” Hux snapped.

“I’m not! I think you need a break. Let’s -”

“No!” 

“Hux,” he said, stepping closer and lowering his voice. “I think we should talk about this. Privately.”

“I’m busy,” Hux said. “We’ll have to schedule a meeting for later.”

He half-expected Kylo to drag him off the bridge, but instead, he left without saying a word. Hux didn’t even realize that he was shaking until Kylo had gone and he was able to relax. He knew he’d have to face Kylo eventually, and he could only hope that he wouldn’t be too angry. But knowing Kylo, it was not going to end well.

Wanting to delay any encounter with Kylo, Hux spent as long as possible on the bridge, waiting until he found himself trying to sleep standing up to leave. He wanted to get back to his quarters and fall asleep, but he knew there was a good chance Kylo would be there. Maybe he’d be somewhere else and Hux could be asleep before Kylo returned. He knew he’d still have to talk to Kylo eventually, but hopefully with enough time, Kylo would be calm.

When he walked inside his quarters, he almost expected to be assaulted with the Force, but nothing happened. The lights were off, although Hux knew that meant little with Kylo. He was the type of person who would sit in a dark room and think nothing of it. But when Hux turned on the light, there was no sign of Kylo anywhere.

Finally able to relax, Hux stripped out of his uniform and fell onto his bed. He closed his eyes, expecting to fall asleep immediately, but he no longer felt tired. And it just didn’t feel right to be in his bed by himself. As much as he didn’t trust Kylo to be nice in the long run, he desperately wanted Kylo’s arms around him. 

He told himself that he didn’t need Kylo and he shouldn’t want him. He’d never had the need for any kind of physical affection before and had gone nearly all his life without it. It wasn’t something he required and he wasn’t about to go running to Kylo for a hug. But as he tossed and turned in his bed, he realized that he had become addicted to the gentle touches and soft kisses. He couldn’t even fall asleep without it.

Hux dressed quickly. If he’d developed an addiction, then he’d go to medical. They would hopefully be able to solve the problem. At the very least, they could give him something to help sleep. It wasn’t as if trouble sleeping was a new problem for him anyway. He wouldn’t even have to tell them what the problem was, which was good. Hux didn’t want anyone to know about him and Kylo.

As he was walking down the corridor, he passed Kylo’s quarters. For a moment, he considered going inside and seeing if Kylo was there. If he was, then he could simply fall into his arms and fall asleep, no medication required. It sounded nice, but Hux knew he needed to fix his problem. He couldn’t let himself remain so dependent on Kylo.

He continued on his way but didn’t get very far when he heard the sound of a door opening. He might not have the Force, but he could still tell that Kylo was behind him. When he turned, he saw that he was right.

“Hux,” Kylo said. “Is everything all right?”

“Yes, now if you’ll excuse me, I have some things to take care of.” He turned and started to walk away, but Kylo came to walk beside him.

“I know you’re lying,” Kylo said. “Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Because you’re what’s wrong!” Hux said, stopping and facing Kylo.

Kylo looked shocked and then confused. “What did I do? Please, Hux. Tell me. I don’t want to lose this.”

Hux wanted to tell him, but then he realized Kylo hadn’t actually done anything. It was what he might do. “It’s complicated.”

“Hux, how can I fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong?”

“You didn’t do anything,” Hux said with a sigh. “Not yet, anyway.”

“Oh. You’re scared.”

“I’m not frightened.”

“I’m sorry, Hux,” Kylo said softly. He was looking at him with wet eyes and Hux felt like he’d just kicked him. Maybe he was being ridiculous, being mad at something Kylo hadn’t done yet. He knew things couldn’t last, but he could at least enjoy it while it did.

“Kylo,” Hux said, stepping closer to him. He put a hand on Kylo’s cheek and as soon as he touched him, Hux couldn’t resist. He closed the distance between them, putting his arms around him and burying his face in his neck. 

As soon as Kylo’s arms were around him, Hux relaxed fully, letting Kylo support his weight. He could have fallen asleep right there, leaning against Kylo. Whatever he had with Kylo wouldn’t last, but Hux knew he needed to hold onto it as long as he could.

***

Kylo was worried about Hux. He could sense that he was not quite himself, but he thought that maybe he was just stressed from trying to locate Pryde. What he hadn’t even considered was that Hux was upset with him. Kylo thought things were good between them and he couldn’t believe he had been so wrong.

He really couldn’t blame Hux. He’d simply hoped that Hux had started to trust him enough that it wouldn’t be an issue. As he watched Hux sleep in his bed, he knew they had a long way to go. Kylo gently brushed Hux’s hair out of his face, wanting a better view of him. Hux had nearly fallen asleep in his arms and hadn’t stirred all night. Even when Kylo got up, Hux remained asleep, which was unusual for him.

It was tempting to crawl back into bed and curl up with Hux, but Kylo didn’t want to wake him. Getting out of bed to go to the refresher had been risky enough and then he'd sat down on the bed, which also had been a risk, but Hux hadn't woken. Kylo wanted to see Hux in a peaceful state for as long as possible. Given what he’d said, Kylo wondered if Hux was going to end things between them.

If he did, Kylo at least hoped they wouldn’t go back to the way things were. He didn’t want things to be like when they first got to the Resistance or when Kylo was Supreme Leader. Kylo didn’t even want to go back to the way things were before when they were constantly at each other’s throats. If he couldn’t kiss him, then he at least wanted to get along with him. And most importantly, he wanted a chance to prove to Hux that he would never hurt him. Not again.

“Kylo,” Hux muttered, not opening his eyes. He scooted closer to him and Kylo couldn’t help but gently lay a hand on his shoulder. That seemed to fully wake him up, but he didn’t jump out of bed and run away. He did the exact opposite and moved so he could rest his head in Kylo’s lap.

Maybe it really had been stress that made Hux say those things. Maybe he’d only needed a good night’s rest. Kylo wanted to leave it at that and never bring it up again, but what Hux had felt had been real. He did have his worries about their relationship and Kylo knew that wouldn’t go away. Knowing Hux, he would pretend he was fine until the next time he was overly stressed.

“Hux,” Kylo said, running a hand through his hair. He never would have guessed how soft Hux’s hair was, but now that he knew, he couldn’t get enough of it. “Are you feeling better?”

“I’m fine.”

Kylo wanted to leave it at that. He could sit there, petting Hux until it was time for Hux to leave. They wouldn’t have to fight. Not until the next time Hux was stressed and lashed out at him. Which would happen, and probably sooner rather than later.

“You weren’t last night.”

As expected, Hux sat up and Kylo regretted saying anything. He wanted to take it back so he could still have Hux’s head on him. 

“That was nothing,” Hux mumbled.

“It wasn’t nothing. Something was bothering you.”

Hux was silent for several moments, and Kylo thought he wasn’t going to say anything. He remained sitting next to him, so Kylo thought that was at least a good sign. Maybe Hux would say he didn’t want to talk about it and lean up against him. Not the ideal situation, but Kylo would take it. Kylo just wanted to touch Hux again.

“I don’t know what we’re doing,” Hux said eventually. “I felt those things in your mind when you let me in and that makes me think that you’re actually serious about all this and that perhaps you do care. But then I think about it and I don’t know how I can trust you.”

“I would never hurt you, Hux.”

“Right now, I believe that. Will that always be how you feel? What happens when I decide I don’t want to fuck you or kiss you? Will you push me into it? You could freeze me with your powers and make me do whatever you wanted. I like to tell myself you wouldn’t do that, but you would. You don’t like being told no.”

“I…” Kylo wanted to tell him that he wouldn’t do that, but he knew why Hux would think that. Instead, he focused on something else Hux said. “Have you not wanted to do those things?”

“No, I definitely did. However, I know there will be a time when I don’t want to do those things and I am concerned that you aren’t going to take it well.”

There was no point in telling him that he would never do that. Hux had no reason to believe him and knew him all too well. The old him would very likely have done whatever it took to get his way. Kylo didn’t even know who he was anymore. How could he really promise to never hurt Hux? He liked to believe he wouldn’t, but he couldn’t blame Hux for being concerned.

“So what do we do?” Kylo asked. “If… if you want to stop…”

“I don’t. At this point, I’m not sure if I could. The only thing I can think of is to do nothing and when you finally destroy whatever this is between us, I can be hurt and betrayed and go back to wanting you dead.”

Kylo hated the way Hux spoke as if that was the inevitable conclusion. He couldn’t let that happen. Hux was the only good thing he had in his life. Of course, he had destroyed every other good thing in his life. No wonder Hux saw it as unavoidable. But that was the old Kylo and he was determined to be better.

“I don’t want that to happen. There has to be something I can do. To show you that I won’t do that. I don’t care how long it takes.”

“I don’t know, Kylo. You’ve never been good at respecting boundaries. Why would you start now?”

“We can start there. Discuss boundaries. What you want me to do and what you don’t. What you want me to ask about and what’s okay whenever.”

“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think? After everything we’ve already done?”

“I don’t know. Is there a reason we can’t just do that now?”

“I suppose not.” Hux sighed and stood up. “I need to get to the bridge, but if this is really something you want to do, we can do it later today.”

“I do,” Kylo said. “I want you to feel safe with me.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever truly felt safe. But I suppose being with you is the closest I’ve ever come.”

Kylo wasn’t sure how he felt about that. It hurt to think that Hux had lived his entire life in fear, and that was made worse for Kylo knowing that he had been part of that. He could have given Hux a feeling of security a year earlier but he’d only made things worse. But for him to say being with him was almost safe had to mean something. Maybe with enough time, Hux would truly feel safe with him.

Before Hux left, he gave Kylo a quick kiss. Kylo wanted to think that meant something as well, but given that Hux’s plan had simply been to wait until things blew up between them, he knew it didn’t mean that Hux was any more comfortable around him.

Kylo thought he’d spend a little time deciding what he wanted in regards to boundaries, but when he thought about it, he couldn’t imagine anything that he’d have a problem with. He’d let Hux do whatever he wanted. Then again, he wasn’t quite sure what sorts of things Hux might do if given free reign. In the end, all he could come up with was asking Hux about what he might want to do and figuring things out from there.

As much as he liked visiting Hux while he was working, Kylo thought it might be best to give him a little more space and let him see that Kylo wasn’t always demanding of attention. Maybe that’s what he’d have to do - let Hux initiate everything. If he could do that, he’d be sure not to push Hux into doing too much. He didn’t like the idea of not pulling Hux into a hug whenever he liked, but he’d do what he needed to make Hux more comfortable.

He never got the chance to have that discussion with Hux. It was drawing close to the time Hux usually left the bridge when the ship’s alarms went off. They were under attack, or about to be. Kylo started running to the bridge to see what was happening, but Hux commed him, told him to go the hangar and take a fighter instead.

Kylo would have preferred to be with Hux, but he knew he was useless on the bridge, but he was the best pilot on board. In a fighter, he could do the most good. He turned and headed for the hangar, jumping into the first fighter he came to. Without waiting for clearance, he took off and flew out of the hangar.

There was another Star Destroyer, an older Imperial class model. It must have been part of Palpatine’s fleet. Not that Kylo cared where it came from. He only wanted to destroy it. Soon there were other fighters who joined him from the _Finalizer_ but Kylo knew they were not the best. Most of the better pilots had been transferred when the _Finalizer_ was sent for repairs.

Soon, they were facing fighters coming from the other Star Destroyer and Kylo couldn’t be concerned about the skill of the other pilots or about his relationship with Hux. The only thing that mattered was taking out as many of the enemy fighters as possible and staying alive.

That was something Kylo was very good at.

Like the _Finalizer_ , the other ship didn’t seem to have a full complement of fighters as it didn’t take too long for Kylo and the others to take them out with only minimal losses to their side. Hux appeared via hologram once they’d cleared out the enemy fighters.

“We’ve almost taken out their shields,” Hux said. Kylo hadn’t paid much attention, but he could see that the two capital ships had been trading fire. “Once we’re through, I want you to target the bridge.”

“Easy enough on these old ships,” Kylo said.

“Exactly.” Hux paused for a moment. “Their shields are down.”

“On it.” Kylo ended the transmission and flew towards the bridge. As soon as he was within range, he fired a pair of torpedoes. He could see the ship’s turbolasers trying to target them, but they were too slow and both torpedoes hit the bridge in a large explosion. That would be enough to cripple the ship, but Kylo couldn’t help but take a quick pass at them, destroying a few of their guns as he flew by.

He was coming around for another pass when he noticed that the _Finalizer_ had stopped firing. Maybe they didn’t want the ship destroyed, so Kylo held back, flying his TIE back towards the _Finalizer_ , but ready to fly back into battle if needed. Soon, all fighters were ordered to return. 

Kylo landed and could see the other pilots celebrating their victory, but he wasn’t one of them. His presence would only make them uncomfortable, so he went back to his quarters. He would have liked to see Hux, but Kylo guessed he was busy with the aftermath of the battle. If Hux needed him, he’d comm him, but Kylo suspected he’d be spending the night alone.

Once back in his quarters, he changed into loose pants and an undershirt. He looked at his empty bed, still unmade from that morning, and realized how long it had been since he’d slept alone. Even if it hadn’t been all that long, it felt so normal to Kylo that he didn’t want to be alone. But he was also determined to give Hux the space he needed to feel safe.

Instead of going to his bed, he grabbed a blanket and settled down on the couch. It was smaller and Kylo hoped that would make him feel less lonely. Being in a smaller area really didn’t make much of a difference - Kylo was all too aware of Hux’s absence. He missed the way Hux would snuggle up against him and let Kylo wrap his arms around him. Or how sometimes Hux would hold Kylo. And then there was the way Hux felt in the Force, so much calmer than usual.

He could almost feel Hux’s presence with him, and Kylo focused on that. If he could imagine that Hux was there, maybe it would be enough for him to fall asleep.

“Kylo.”

He sat up quickly, opening his eyes to see that Hux was actually there in his quarters. That was unexpected, but Kylo was not disappointed.

“We have a location on Pryde,” Hux said. “The ship’s captain gave him up. It might be a trap, but it’s our best lead, so we’re going to check it out. If the information is good, this all might be over very soon.”

Kylo almost asked what they would do then, but he didn’t want to know. He didn’t want Hux to decide that would be a good time to end things. 

“You did a good job flying today,” Hux said as he sat down on the couch next to him. “Not that it’s too difficult to take out those older Star Destroyers.”

“It’s really not.” Still, Kylo couldn’t believe that Hux had praised his work. He never did that and it made Kylo smile. 

“I know we said we’d talk about our relationship, but this isn’t the best time. I’d like to wait until after Pryde is dead.”

“I understand,” Kylo said. He hated to think that he wouldn’t have a chance to hold Hux or kiss him until then, and maybe not ever again. It was possible that once Hux didn’t need him anymore, he’d push him to the side.

“No need to look so sad about it. We’re just putting off the discussion. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’d like to get at least a little sleep before tomorrow.”

Kylo stared at him for a moment, not sure what Hux was trying to say. It wasn’t until Hux walked into his bedroom that he fully understood. Kylo took the blanket and followed Hux, watching him as he stripped down.

“Are you sure?” Kylo asked. “I thought you wouldn’t want this.”

“Like I said, some part of me is certain this won’t last, but I can’t deny that sharing a bed with you has resulted in the best sleep I’ve had in a very long time. Maybe sex isn’t a good idea for us right now, but I’d rather not sleep alone.”

“I’ll do whatever you want.”

“You have no idea how it makes me feel to hear you say that,” Hux said as he climbed into bed.

Kylo couldn’t help but smile. “I think I have some idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things were going too well and Hux's anxieties are getting the better of him. But things will get better eventually.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to face Pryde! New tags added for this chapter, so please take note. There is a more detailed description in the end notes, and if you would like to skip that scene, once Hux runs into Pryde, skip down to Kylo's section after the ***. There is also talk of Hux's past abuse in this chapter.

He was so close to his goal. Hux couldn’t worry about Kylo or anything else. The only thing that mattered was finding and killing Pryde. If Hux had all his people on board, he would have sent a scout to the planet Molurus, where Pryde was supposedly hiding out and verify that he was actually there, but he didn’t have the manpower or a suitable ship.

He could have sent Kylo, who would be more than capable of such a mission on his own, but Hux didn’t want to be without him, not before their final mission. Instead, he would simply take the _Finalizer_ to investigate. Although not an ideal situation, Hux liked the idea of showing up without warning. Pryde wasn’t the kind of man to be afraid, but he would be soon enough.

Hux would show him, just like he showed all the others. He was not someone that could be controlled and used. Pryde would die at his hands, just like Brendol, Brooks and everyone else. Everyone except Kylo. 

It was not the time to think about Kylo and what Hux would do if Kylo betrayed him. He needed to stay focused on the objective. Not that there was much to do while traveling through hyperspace. He could only watch the clock countdown the minutes until their arrival.

As he watched the countdown draw closer to zero, he felt Kylo coming to stand behind him, but Hux wasn’t about to tell him to back off. His presence was comforting and Hux would have liked to lean against that broad chest and let Kylo’s arms hold him up. But they were standing on the bridge in full view of the crew. There would be time for such things later.

“I need to be on the bridge in case he puts up a fight,” Hux said. “But I think you should be in a fighter.”

“I know. I just… I’ll go.” He took a step back and Hux already hated to see him go.

“Wait,” Hux said before he could get too far. “Don’t go too far. When the defenses are taken care of, I want to go down to the surface with you.”

Kylo stared at him for a moment, then nodded, a slight smile on his face. Then he turned and took off. Hux looked at the countdown and saw there wasn’t much time left. Kylo wouldn’t make it to the hangar before they arrived, not unless he had some Force power that could make him much faster. Soon, Hux had other things to worry about.

They came out of hyperspace very close to Molurus and Hux could see the status of his fighters launching. They had orders to do recon and destroy anything that looked like it might be dangerous.

“There’s an old Imperial base,” one of the lieutenants reported shortly after they arrived. “We’re receiving a signal from it. An automatic identification request.”

“Tell them who we are and why we’re here,” Hux said. There was no sense pretending. Pryde wasn’t an idiot and would figure it out soon enough.

“They’re launching fighters,” someone else reported.

Hux nodded and looked at the status of his fighters. He saw Kylo had launched and was soon in the thick of the battle. Pryde’s pilots were good, but they were nothing compared to Kylo. Hux continued to manage the reports and send out new orders while keeping an eye on Kylo. Before too long, they had all of the fighters eliminated as well as some of the surface guns protecting the base. That was good enough for Hux and he ordered Kylo to return and made his way to the hangar.

Kylo’s TIE was waiting by the time Hux arrived and he didn’t hesitate to climb into the gunner’s seat and quickly powered up the rear systems.

“Fly over the base once,” Hux said. “I’ll take out a few more of their cannons.”

“I’ll take care of the rest,” Kylo said as they took off. Hux didn’t know what he meant by that, but he’d worry about that later. They zoomed out of the hangar and soon were in the atmosphere of the planet. They were taking fire, but Kylo was far too fast to be hit with those slow guns. 

Hux fired and managed to take out three of the guns, and then the fighter seemed to level out. Hux was about to ask what Kylo was doing, as that would make them vulnerable to attack, but he could soon see that the cannons were being crushed. It looked as if they had simply crumpled as if they had been placed under enormous pressure, and Hux didn’t need to ask to know Kylo had done that. He shuddered. Sometimes seeing just what the Force could do was terrifying.

Kylo landed and he jumped out of the TIE, lightsaber ignited. Hux poked his head out and saw that there were stormtroopers rushing to meet them. Hux fired on them, remaining in the TIE for cover, although he probably had no need to worry. Kylo was disarming troopers with the Force, redirecting shots with his lightsaber, and cutting down anyone who got too close. Most took off when they lost their weapons, making it all too easy to get inside the base, even before Hux’s troops had landed.

“How do we find him?” Kylo asked. His lightsaber was off, but in his hand. 

“Can you use the Force?” Hux asked. If his powers would simply tell him where to go, that would be convenient.

Kylo seemed to consider that, but then shook his head. “He’s here. Or someone who feels very much like him. But I can’t pinpoint his location.”

“Right, well, hopefully this place is like any other Imperial base and there’s a command center. That’s where he’ll probably be.”

As they made their way around the base, Kylo did most of the work keeping them safe from the enemy troops while Hux had to issue commands from inside the base. He hated not being able to see everything that was happening, but the most important part of the mission was to kill Pryde and Hux was not going to sit back and let someone else get there first. 

After nearly half an hour, Hux had found the command center and gave Mitaka orders to oversee the rest of the battle. It sounded like their forces had already overwhelmed Pryde’s, so Hux wasn’t too concerned. He walked into the command center and immediately focused on his target.

Pryde reached for his blaster but he never had a chance to raise it, as it was ripped from his hand and flying towards Hux. Without hesitation, Hux caught it. The others in the command center seemed uneasy and when one started to raise a blaster, it was also torn from their hand, but unlike Pryde, they were thrown against a wall.

“If you don’t want to see what else he can do,” Hux said, “I advise you drop your weapons and leave.”

Some immediately did as ordered and a few hesitated, but before too long, Hux and Kylo were alone with Pryde. Hux looked him over and saw that he had not made it off of Exegol unscarred. He’d clearly been burned on his face and one of his eyes was new. None of that would matter soon.

“I always knew you’d turn out to be a traitor,” Pryde said. He started to move towards a nearby console and then suddenly stopped. It took Hux a moment before he realized that Kylo was holding him with the Force. Pryde would have no ability to pull any kind of trick. Hux had him, and he could enjoy giving Pryde exactly what he deserved.

“Out of all of Brendol’s friends, you were the worst,” Hux said, stepping over to him. “Did it make you feel powerful to beat a child? How does it feel to know that child will kill you now?”

“You useless brat!” Pryde growled. Hux slapped him across the face, not caring to hear anything else he might have to say. 

“You broke my legs once,” Hux said, looking him over and setting Pryde’s blaster down. “I think it’s only fair I do the same to you. Kylo, if I might borrow your lightsaber?”

Hux held his hand out without taking his eyes off Pryde. Finally, the severity of the situation seemed to dawn on Pryde and his eyes widened as Hux took the lightsaber. As he took it, Hux realized he didn’t know how to turn it on, but then it felt like there was a gentle hand over his, guiding him, and he ignited the red blade.

He held it to Pryde’s neck, enjoying the look of fear in his eyes. Hux had probably had that same look in his eyes, and just like Pryde, Hux wasn’t going to stop. A quick death was far too good for him. Pryde deserved to suffer. As promised, Hux targeted his legs. He swung the lightsaber, cutting Pryde’s legs off just about the knee.

Pryde cried out as he fell to the floor and Hux grinned. There were so many things he could do to him and Pryde was just as helpless as he had been as a child. He didn’t even need Kylo to hold him anymore, as he really couldn’t get away.

“Let go of him,” he told Kylo. “I want to watch him squirm.”

“I won’t give you the satisfaction,” Pryde spat. He could act like he was handling the situation just fine, but Hux could see the fear written all over his face. What was left of his face anyway. Hux heard that the _Steadfast_ had been blown up, and it seemed as if Pryde had gotten caught in the explosion. How he’d survived was a mystery, but not one that Hux particularly cared about solving.

“Remember when you burned me on my arm? I don’t have the scar anymore, but you won’t live long enough to worry about that.” Hux pushed the tip of the lightsaber into Pryde’s upper arm and he could hear him holding back a scream. He left the saber burning in his arm for what felt like it could have been hours, but was likely only a minute. Hux pulled the saber back and then deactivated it.

“Thank you, Kylo,” Hux said, handing him his weapon back. “As nice as that is, I think I’d like to kill him with more familiar weapons.”

He looked at Pryde’s blaster and decided that would be the next thing he would use. Once Kylo took his lightsaber back, Hux picked it up and ensured the safety was on. He stepped over to Pryde and the older man tried to grab the weapon, but he was too slow. Hux slammed the butt of the weapon into Pryde’s face as hard as he could and was rewarded with a cry of pain and blood dripping down his face.

“How many times did you hit me? Or stand by and watch while someone else did? I could hit you once for every single time you hit me, but I don’t want to let you live that long.”

Hux hit him again, in his jaw and he heard a satisfying crack. He liked seeing Pryde like that, broken and bleeding and in pain. It’s exactly what he deserved. Hux turned the safety off and aimed the weapon, but a blaster shot wasn’t good enough for Pryde. Instead, he shot him in the shoulder, on the opposite side from where he’d run the saber into his arm. He wanted both arms injured for the next part.

He turned the safety back on and then tossed the blaster just past Pryde and he could immediately see him eyeing it. Just what Hux wanted.

“Unlike you, I think I’ll give you a chance,” Hux said. “If you get that blaster, maybe you can live.”

Pryde didn’t move immediately, but Hux knew that he wasn’t going to sit there forever. He turned towards the blaster and started crawling towards it. He’d nearly reached it when it moved on its own, out of reach once more. Hux grinned as Pryde continued to crawl towards it. He knew Kylo would keep it out of reach, but he didn’t need the Force to stop someone like Pryde.

Hux walked over to the blaster and kicked it across the room, too far for Pryde to have any hope of reaching it. Especially since Hux was done with him. He’d like to make him suffer even more, just as much as he had, but that wasn’t possible. If he didn’t kill Pryde now, the Resistance might find him and Hux wasn’t going to risk that. They’d keep him alive and treat him far too well as a prisoner. Hux wanted him dead. 

Hux removed his knife from his sleeve and stepped on Pryde’s back, holding him in place. He struggled, but he was too weak to do anything. Just like Hux had been. He had nothing left to say to him and he knelt down, driving his knife into Pryde’s neck and quickly pulling it out.

The wound was making a mess of blood and Hux stepped back quickly to avoid the worst of it. He watched as Pryde tried to put pressure on the wound, but he was losing too much blood too fast. There was nothing anyone could do to save him.

Hux had finally killed the last person that needed to die.

***

Kylo could only watch as Hux made his kill, knowing not to interfere with Hux’s plan. All he could feel in the Force was Pryde’s fear. Although he didn’t appear afraid, Kylo had sensed it from the moment he had frozen Pryde with the Force and it had only grown stronger as Hux took his revenge.

When Kylo reached out to Hux, he couldn’t feel anything at all. That was strange. He’d become so used to feeling little things from Hux over the past weeks that he hated not being able to. He wanted to know what he felt, if finally killing Pryde helped him. And more importantly, he wanted to know what it meant for them.

Hux turned to him, his face expressionless and Kylo couldn’t help but feel worried. He didn’t think Hux wanted to kill him anymore, but he wasn’t certain of that fact. Seeing what he had done to Pryde, Kylo didn’t want to give Hux the chance. 

As Hux started walking towards him, Kylo backed away, but he soon found himself back against a console. He glanced towards the door and knew he could run. He could get back to the TIE Fighter and let someone else deal with Hux. But he also didn’t want to run away. That wasn’t something he did.

Soon, Hux was in front of him and he stopped. He was still silent, and he just looked at Kylo. Then, Hux had his arms around Kylo’s neck and he pulled him forward. As their lips crashed together, Kylo was all too aware of the knife that Hux still held, covered in Pryde’s blood and right behind his head.

Although he was worried that Hux might sink the blade into him next, Kylo was very distracted by the way Hux seemed to be trying to devour him and the way he was grinding his hips against him. Finally, Kylo could feel something from him - he was scared but also very needy. He needed so much, and what he needed most was Kylo. That was a surprise but not an unwelcome one. At least Hux didn’t seem to feel very murderous.

“Hux,” Kylo moaned as Hux moved to his neck. He felt his teeth lightly biting him and Kylo tilted his head, giving him better access. Something fell on the console behind him and once Kylo felt both of Hux’s hands on him, he realized he had heard the knife dropping. Using the Force, Kylo moved the knife so it was out of reach, just in case Hux changed his mind.

Hux lifted his head from Kylo’s neck and the look on Hux’s face turned Kylo on even more than his kisses. His pupils were wide with desire and if Kylo didn’t know better, he’d think the look on his face meant he was angry and planning on killing him, but he could feel his emotions in the Force and that was not what Hux had in mind.

He pushed Kylo down against the console, rougher than was necessary, but Kylo didn’t really care. Deciding to test his boundaries, Kylo brought his hands up to Hux’s waist. Hux didn’t seem to mind as he started to remove Kylo’s clothes, leaving him with his tunic open but still hanging off of him and his pants around his knees.

Hux put his mouth on one of Kylo’s nipples and Kylo gasped at the sensation. Hux had always been a bit shy about where he put his mouth and even seemed cautious about touching him. But he didn’t seem to care any more, as Hux started kissing him everywhere. Hux removed his own pants as well and Kylo could feel him pressed against his thigh.

“Hux,” he said, but Hux bit him on the side of his abdomen. Kylo got the hint. He could stop Hux if he really wanted to, but despite not being in a secure location or having any idea what Hux had in mind, Kylo couldn’t help himself. He was going to let Hux continue and have his way with him.

After kissing, licking, and biting him nearly all over, Hux covered Kylo’s body with his own and buried his face in his neck as he started to grind their hips together. Kylo wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. 

Soon, they were both spent and Hux remained on top of Kylo. The console was starting to become uncomfortable, but Kylo wasn’t about to make Hux move. He wanted to hold him as long as possible.

When Hux finally moved, he stood up quickly, not looking at Kylo as he pulled his pants up and straightened out his uniform. Kylo followed suit, wanting to talk to Hux but not certain he would want to talk. Instead, once they were both fully clothed, he took Hux’s hand in his.

Hux looked at their joined hands and then at Kylo. For a moment, Kylo thought Hux would finally say something, but then Hux’s comm buzzed. He pulled his hand away and answered.

“Hux here.”

“Sir,” Mitaka’s voice came over the comm. “We have Resistance ships dropping out of hyperspace. Should we engage?”

“No,” Hux said immediately. “Not unless they do first. Let them know we don’t intend to fight.”

“Yes, sir.”

Hux ended the call and tucked his comm away. He then turned his attention to Kylo. “I suppose we’d better get going. If there’s anyone else from the Final Order, the Resistance can deal with them.”

“What about us? What do we do?” Kylo had wanted to run off with Hux and find a place to hide and live their own lives, but the Resistance had already caught up to them. That would make it much harder.

“We follow my original plan,” Hux said. “We turn ourselves in and hope they’re not too upset about this.”

Kylo glanced over to Pryde’s body. He didn’t think they would be upset they had gone off to fight the Final Order, but they were not going to be happy about their methods. Still, there wasn’t much to do unless they wanted to try to run as soon as they made it back to the _Finalizer_. He wondered how long Rey would spend trying to chase them down if they did.

“Let’s go,” Hux said. He took Kylo’s hand and they headed back to their TIE Fighter. Whatever happened next didn’t matter, Kylo thought. He and Hux both got what they wanted.

***

Poe didn’t understand the Force. When they got word of a disabled Imperial Star Destroyer, they’d sent out a salvage crew. It hadn’t taken long to piece together exactly what happened. Hux had his old ship back and was looking for General Pryde. The captain of the disabled Destroyer even told the Resistance exactly where to go.

But Rey said they needed to wait and the only reason she had given was that it was the will of the Force. Why the Force wouldn’t want them to track down Hux and Ren as soon as possible and bring them in, Poe didn’t know. He hated it - they were sitting back and doing nothing. But Leia had also trusted in the Force. Poe could do the same.

When Rey woke him up in the middle of the night saying it was finally time, Poe couldn’t even be upset about losing sleep. Finn was the slowest to wake up. Poe dressed hastily and then helped Finn, not wanting to spend one second more doing nothing. 

They had no idea what to expect when they finally confronted Hux and Ren. From what Rey had said, Ren seemed very comfortable being Kylo again, and although Poe hadn’t ever thought he had changed, for Rey to see that couldn’t be a good thing. Expecting a fight, both he and Rey were in their X-wings, leaving Finn in charge on their cruiser.

As soon as they had dropped out of hyperspace, Poe launched his fighter, Rey right behind him. Although she had a much older model, she managed to catch up to him and even started to overtake him as they flew towards the Resurgent-class Star Destroyer ahead of them.

“This is Lieutenant Mitaka of the _Finalizer_ ,” a voice said over the comm. “We do not intend to fight and ask that you do not engage us.”

“This is General, uh, Dameron,” Finn’s voice came. Poe couldn’t help but smile at the name he used. “Are you surrendering?”

“My commanders are currently unavailable,” Mitaka said. “That’s not a decision I can make, but if you could at least try not to blast us until one of them can talk to you, we’d appreciate it.”

“As long as you stay right where you are, we can do that,” Finn said. “If we detect your guns coming online or see that you’re trying to run, we’ll open fire.”

“Understood. We have one TIE Fighter returning from the surface, so I’d also ask that you not fire on them either.”

“We see it,” Finn said. “As long as it only goes to your ship, it’s good.”

Poe breathed a sigh of relief. That had gone much better than expected. But had the lieutenant simply made his own decision while waiting for further orders? Would Hux arrive on the scene and order a fight? Poe liked to think that he had changed, but he had his doubts. 

“Uh, Resistance fleet,” Mitaka said after a while. “The Supreme Leader has granted permission for the X-wings flown by Dameron and, uh, Rey to come on board the _Finalizer_.”

“Oh, the _Supreme Leader_ has granted his permission?” Poe couldn’t help but roll his eyes at that. “What assurances do we have that it’s not a trap?”

“I don’t have an answer for that,” Mitaka said. 

“I do,” Rey said. “We’ll be safe, Poe.”

“I hope you’re right about this.” Poe wanted to discuss it more, but Rey was already heading towards the _Finalizer_ and he wasn’t going to let her go alone. He only wished Finn was coming with them.

Maybe it was the Force telling Rey they would be fine. The Force had always been good enough for Leia and it was good enough for Poe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Details on the new tags:  
> -Hux tortures Pryde for a short period of time. He cuts off his legs with a lightsaber, shoots him (non lethal), and pretends to give him a chance at survival. He kills him with a knife in his neck.  
> -While talking to Pryde, Hux brings up specific examples of what Pryde had done to him in the past.  
> -Pryde has burns on his face and a damaged eye (previous injuries)


	19. Chapter 19

Hux climbed out of Kylo’s lap as soon as they’d landed back on board the _Finalizer_. When Kylo suggested riding in his lap on their way back, Hux hadn’t thought about it much - he’d simply seen an opportunity to stay close to Kylo and took it. But Kylo was too large for a standard TIE Fighter and with Hux on top of him, it was a rather cramped ride. Hux also hadn’t considered that the hangar would be busy when they landed, and although no one was looking in their direction, Hux didn’t want to give anyone the chance.

Once he was out of the fighter, Hux looked around the hangar, making sure that no one was paying any attention to him or Kylo. Fortunately, there were plenty of other things to be done and no one had time to waste. Kylo climbed out shortly after him and came to stand close to him. Before he could say anything, two X-wings entered the hangar and landed.

Hux sighed. He’d heard Kylo telling Mitaka to tell them to come on board, but he’d really hoped that they wouldn’t have arrived so quickly. He at least would have liked a chance to change his clothes as he smelled like Kylo and didn’t need anyone else figuring out what they were up to.

There was no time to escape back to his quarters as Dameron and Skywalker were already heading towards them. He could try and hope they were more interested in Kylo than him, but he didn’t want to give Skywalker an excuse to use the Force on him.

“Armitage,” Dameron said as he came to stop in front of him. He glanced towards Kylo but kept his focus on Hux.

“Dameron. Skywalker.”

They stood silent for several moments and it seemed to drag on forever. Hux worried that they knew about his relationship with Kylo and that they’d punish him for it. Or that they would try to take him away. 

“So you stole a ship and ran away,” Dameron said eventually. “And what now? Are you going to try to rebuild the First Order?”

“No,” Hux said. “Did you not see the note I left? I wanted to destroy the Final Order. That’s done now and I’d like to come back.”

“As a prisoner? Because I’m not sure we can risk having you around otherwise.”

“No,” Kylo said. “I won’t let you do that. We’re coming back like before or we’re not coming back.”

“You think we’re going to give you a choice?” Skywalker asked.

“You want to fight?”

“No,” she said with a sigh. 

“Well, I suppose we have a lot to talk about,” Hux said. “Why don’t we go to one of the meeting rooms on board? I’m sure we’ll be more comfortable there, and if you don’t mind, we’ve just come from a battle. I’d like a chance to change my clothes.”

“We’ll need to bring Finn on board,” Dameron said.

“Of course,” Hux agreed, as he remembered the transmission. “It seems we missed quite a bit. Are congratulations in order?”

“What? Oh. Um. No. That was… it was just… a thing.”

Dameron seemed a little uncomfortable with that, and Hux filed that information away. It might come in useful later. “I’ll have someone escort you to the room,” Hux said.

“No,” Skywalker said. “We’re not letting you out of our sight. I’ll go with Kylo to his quarters and Poe, you take Armitage. We’re not giving you a chance to try anything.”

“Of course. I’ll have someone escort Finn when he arrives. Although I suppose he can find his way on his own.”

Hux had hoped that he’d have a few moments alone with Kylo, but the Resistance clearly didn’t trust them, and Hux couldn’t blame them. He’d at least hoped to be alone when he was in his quarters, but Dameron followed him inside.

“Just thought I should ask if you’re okay,” Dameron said. “I got the impression you wanted to go off with Ren, but thought I should check.”

Hux stared at him for a moment before he realized what Dameron was getting at. He thought that Kylo might have forced him to go with him. He could very easily use that to his advantage. Dameron was ready to believe the worst about Kylo. If Hux claimed that Kylo had kidnapped him and made him go along with him, the Resistance would go easy on him. They’d take pity on him and maybe even applaud him for surviving such an ordeal. But what would they do to Kylo? And how could Hux bear to see the hurt in Kylo’s eyes when he realized he’d been betrayed.

“I’m perfectly fine,” Hux said, telling the truth. “You really think Ren would care enough to go after the Final Order?”

“I have no idea,” Dameron said. “Why were you so focused on taking them out?”

“They destroyed my life’s work,” Hux said. “Because of them, the First Order became nothing. I needed to destroy them.”

“So why did it have to be you and Ren? Why not have us help you? You know we would have.”

Hux didn’t answer. He knew they’d discover Pryde’s death eventually, but he hoped to come to some kind of understanding before then. If he could explain everything first, maybe they’d overlook what he’d done to Pryde.

“I think that should wait until we’re all together,” Hux said. He grabbed some fresh clothes - some of his civilian clothes. Hopefully that would look better than the uniform he had on, although they’d already seen him in it.

He stepped into his refresher and showered quickly, just to make sure he didn’t smell like Kylo. Most of the blood had been on his uniform and not very noticeable, but there had been a small amount on him. Hopefully Dameron hadn’t noticed. Once dressed, he stepped back out into his quarters, but before he left, he grabbed the blue cloak Kylo had gotten for him. There was no need for it, but he liked it, and hopefully it made him look less like a general.

“So,” Hux said as they left his quarters and headed towards one of the meeting rooms, “what is going on with you and your other general? You seemed to think he wasn’t interested, but I take it that wasn’t true?”

“No, it wasn’t,” Dameron said. “Wouldn’t think you would care.”

“Just thought I’d make conversation. Anyway, it’s a good thing you didn’t waste anymore time on me, isn’t it? I’m sure you’ll be much happier this way.”

“I’m sorta thinking I needed to spend more time with you. Maybe I would have seen this coming if I did. Guess I never saw you and Ren getting along after everything you accused him of. I knew there was something going on when you moved into his quarters, but I never thought you’d be conspiring together.”

“I’d hardly consider what we did conspiring. We simply undertook an unauthorized mission and eliminated an enemy of the Resistance.”

“Yeah, right. An unauthorized mission.”

“I’m sure you’re plenty familiar with that situation.”

Dameron didn’t answer and they arrived to the meeting room. Hux opened the door and saw that Kylo and Skywalker were already there and clearly in the middle of an argument. It wasn’t hard to guess what they were arguing about as Kylo had his lightsaber in his hand.

“You’re not taking it,” Kylo said. 

“You’re bad enough without a weapon,” Skywalker said. “Why should we let you keep it? Especially after this?”

“Because I’m part of your little band of rebels, now. Everyone else gets to have whatever weapons they want.”

“None of them have betrayed our trust!”

“And none of them destroyed what was left of your enemies!”

“I think we might need to have this conversation one point at a time,” Hux said, taking a seat near where Kylo stood. “Once Finn gets here, I’ll explain why we left and then we can discuss where to go from here. Or you can keep yelling, but in my experience, that doesn’t do much with Ren.”

“You’re right,” Skywalker said grumpily, taking a seat on the opposite side of the table. Dameron joined her, and Kylo sat next to Hux. “It does make me feel better though.”

Before too long, Finn joined them, sitting next to Dameron. Hux’s first thought was that he and Kylo were outnumbered, but they weren’t there to fight. He glanced over to Skywalker - she seemed like she might want to fight Kylo, but hopefully Kylo would realize that they needed to get along. Hux didn’t want to be on the run. He’d finished what he’d set out to do and he wanted to be done with his former life.

“You said you’d explain,” Dameron said. “So what’s your excuse?”

“As I mentioned in my note, I was certain that I could locate Pryde and eliminate him as a threat. It sounded like he was trying to rebuild his forces and I knew we couldn’t let him take the time he needed to do that. Clearly, I was right. As for why I ran off with Ren to do this, it was because I couldn’t trust that your methods would get the job done. I didn’t want him to go into hiding and give him more time to build up his fleet.”

Dameron stared at him for several moments, as did Skywalker and Finn, but Hux felt that Dameron was the one in charge. He was the one he needed to convince. 

“You seriously want to rejoin us?” Dameron finally asked.

“Not particularly,” Hux said. “But I didn’t think you would want me running off on my own.”

“That’s one thing you’re right about,” Finn said.

“You can’t expect us to trust you after this,” Dameron said.

“I didn’t think you ever did.”

“I really don’t want you back-”

“Poe!” Skywalker shouted at him and it looked like she might have kicked him under the table.

“-but I don’t know what else to do with you. We’re not allowing you free reign of the base this time. Either of you. You’ll have an escort if you’re leaving your quarters.”

“We’re not prisoners,” Kylo said.

“You should be,” Finn said.

“But until you can give us a reason why we should trust you again, we can’t let you run loose.”

“I understand,” Hux said. He could see out of the corner of his eye that Kylo wanted to argue. Hux nudged him with his knee. They needed to appear willing to agree to just about anything without making a fuss about it. Kylo seemed to get the hint and settled back in his chair.

“Did you pick up the former troopers from Granby Station?” Hux asked. “And Bylsma. I wasn’t sure if you would go that far to get one man, but I thought it was worth a try.”

“We got them,” Finn said. “And Bylsma isn’t a fan of yours. Why did you help him?”

Hux shrugged, trying to think of an acceptable response for them. “I’ve done a lot of terrible things in my life, most of which I can’t make up for. That was one that I could. There are also more on board this ship who would like to join you. Well, join is a strong word. But they would like your help finding where they came from if you’re still doing that.”

“Of course we are,” Finn said.

“Well, I’ll make sure that everyone who wants to go leaves with you.”

“Wait a minute,” Poe said. “Why not just use this ship to take them back to the base? Our ship’s going to be a little crowded with everyone from here on board.”

“Not everyone on board wants to go with you,” Hux said. 

“So you want us to just let a Star Destroyer operated by former First Order personnel to be allowed to roam around the galaxy? That’s not happening, buddy.”

“What do you suggest then, Dameron? This ship is their home and they don’t want to leave it. Are you really going to take it from them? I thought you were against ripping people from their homes.”

Hux glanced over at Finn and he could see that he understood. He wouldn’t agree, but he had to know what it would do to the people who wanted to stay if it was suddenly taken from them. Hux might be able to accept his fate with the Resistance but he would do everything he could to protect his people.

“That’s not a fair comparison,” Dameron argued. “How do we know the people on this ship aren’t going to turn their guns on innocent people?”

“Wait,” Skywalker said. “I think I have an idea. Your people need a place to just exist, right? How many of them are there?”

“Less than a thousand,” Hux said. “Most people were transferred from this ship after it was damaged.”

“So what if the ship stays in orbit somewhere the Resistance can keep an eye on them. We’ll be responsible for providing food, fuel, and other supplies.”

“And if need be jump into battle for you? I’m not sure that will be acceptable.”

“It’s not the Resistance who needs the ship,” Skywalker said, glancing over to Finn. “It’s the Jedi. I’d like to think we wouldn’t need to fight anyone.”

“What do the Jedi need a ship for?” Kylo asked.

“We’ll be training new Jedi,” Skywalker said. “We don’t want to be in the way of the Resistance, but we want to stay close, while also being able to move around if we need to. Finn and I already talked about a mobile training center, but we never thought we’d find a ship big enough.”

“So you want the First Order to help rebuild the Jedi Order,” Hux said. He looked over at Kylo, sure he wouldn’t like that idea. He was frowning but didn’t seem anymore upset than he had about anything else.

“It’ll be mutually beneficial,” Skywalker said. “The Jedi have a place to train and your people will have their ship. And if we call it a Jedi training ship, maybe no one looks too closely at who else is on board.”

Hux hated to admit it was a good idea. He would have preferred that the _Finalizer_ and her crew simply disappeared, but Hux knew that could be a problem if the wrong people ever realized there was a Star Destroyer on the loose. And if the Jedi were using her, Hux would know she was safe. Maybe at some point they’d even let him back on board.

“That’s not my decision to make,” Hux said. “But I think those that want to remain may find that acceptable.”

“Guess that’s settled,” Dameron said. “I really thought you’d gone back to being evil, Hugs. Really glad you didn’t.”

“We still need to see what we can learn from the Final Order’s base,” Finn said. “We need to make sure this was really the last of them.”

“I’ll leave that to you,” Hux said, standing up. “I’ll be in my quarters if you need anything else from me.”

Kylo stood up as well, but so did Skywalker. “We still have a few things to work out,” she said.

Hux wanted to stay behind with Kylo, but he couldn’t let the Resistance know how he felt about Kylo. He couldn’t be sure they wouldn’t change their mind about whether or not he was a prisoner once they found Pryde’s corpse. He didn’t want them to separate him from Kylo as a punishment, so he had no choice but to leave Kylo to deal with his sister on his own.

“Good luck, Ren.”

***

Kylo glared at Rey - what did she need to talk to him about? And why did it have to be that moment? He could be with Hux in his quarters instead. Hux might not want to talk, but at least Kylo could hold him.

And she was wasting his time. She wasn’t even talking to him. Instead, she was hugging Dameron and Finn, kissing both of them before they left. Finn lingered for a moment, but soon, Kylo was alone with Rey.

“Did you really mean it when you said you’re Kylo?”

Kylo didn’t want to have that conversation. Just like so many other people in his life, Rey thought she knew who he was. She had an idea in her mind of who she wanted him to be and was trying to force him into that role. It was what he appreciated about Hux. He had never done that.

“You can see what’s in front of you.” He was still wearing his old robes and his lightsaber was on the table in front of him. There shouldn’t be any question.

“But Ben -”

“Doesn’t exist. I told you.”

“I could have accepted Ben with the Resistance,” she said. “But not you.”

“Who do you think was there before?”

“You were different when you first came. You could have become Ben.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “Who do you think Ben is?”

“He’s…” She had to think about that. “I suppose he was a Jedi. Han and Leia’s son.”

“And that’s all you know about him. Who I was before. I was never happy as Ben and I always hated that name.”

“So you’re just going to go back to the way you were?” Rey folded her arms across her chest. “Do you really think I’m going to let that happen?”

“No,” Kylo shook his head. “I’ve always been Kylo, but I haven’t always been happy either. But these past weeks chasing down the Final Order? I think it’s the closest I’ve come in a long time. Maybe Hux is on to something. Maybe working with the Resistance isn’t so bad.”

“You were not working for the Resistance.”

“But we helped, didn’t we? We helped more stormtroopers and stopped the Final Order.”

“That… that shouldn’t count!” 

Kylo couldn’t help but grin. She couldn’t argue that point. Although he really wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted to discuss beyond Ben Solo. If she was ready to accept that he was never real, then they could move on with their lives. But something told Kylo that Rey was more stubborn than that. 

“Doing one good thing doesn’t really make up for everything else.”

“I know.”

“So is that what you want? A chance to do better?”

Kylo shrugged. He really didn’t care about being better. What he cared about was Hux and staying close to him, but he wasn’t about to tell Rey that. He could like and say he wanted to be a better person and make up for the things he’d done, but he didn’t think he could pretend. He wasn’t like Hux.

“You’re not Ben and you’re not trying to be a good person,” Rey said. “Why should we accept you back with the Resistance then?”

“What else would you do?”

“Lock you up. Exile you maybe. Find some planet where no one ever visits and let you survive on your own. In fact, I can think of one where we know humans can survive.”

“You’d trust that I wouldn’t somehow find my way off?” Kylo had no idea how he would get off a distant planet, but as long as Rey thought it was a possibility, it didn’t matter. If he had enough time, he’d find some way to escape. “I thought you’d want to keep an eye on me.”

“What I want is to understand why you’re like this! At least Armitage is reasonable!”

“He’s not reasonable. He’s -” Kylo almost told her that he was simply manipulating them, telling them what they wanted to hear. But he didn’t want to cast any doubt on him and put Hux at risk of being locked up where Kylo wouldn’t be able to get to him. “He’s just an asshole.”

“Doesn’t look like that to me. Can’t you even try? Can you say you’ll try?”

“Why would you want an empty promise?”

“I don’t! I know you’re not entirely Kylo Ren, but you won’t accept that it’s even a possibility that you’re not as bad as you think.”

That wasn’t the first time someone had said that about him. Kylo could barely remember his face - he’d been killed so long ago - but he still remembered Tai. It would be impossible to forget Tai entirely, Kylo thought. He’d been the first person he thought he had loved. Tai had also thought he’d known Ben. But he was wrong, just like Rey.

“Let me show you something,” he said, holding out his hand across the table. 

Rey glanced down at his hand, staring at it for several moments before looking back up at his face. “No,” she said, standing up. “I told you before. I’d take Ben’s hand. Whatever trick you’re trying to pull, I won’t fall for it.”

She left and Kylo was glad that was over with. At least for the moment. He had the feeling Rey wasn’t going to let it go. Maybe in time she would realize that just because he wasn’t Ben didn’t mean he was a bad person and stop pestering him. But she seemed to think that using an old name changed something about him.

He could have shown her just who Kylo was and that it was only as Kylo that he could be his true self. But he couldn’t blame her for not wanting to take his hand. He’d hurt her before. She had no reason to believe that he wouldn’t do so again. If she gave him enough of a chance, then she’d figure it out on her own.

Not wanting to worry about Rey and what she thought of him, he made his way to Hux’s quarters. He just wanted to crawl into bed with him and not leave his side for days. He had no idea if Hux wanted him there but although he’d started calling him “Ren” again, Kylo thought that Hux still wanted to continue their relationship.

Of course there had to be one more obstacle before Kylo could get to Hux. Dameron stood outside Hux’s door and for a moment, Kylo considered walking by and going to his quarters. But he’d already waited long enough.

“What are you doing here?” Kylo asked. He hoped Hux hadn’t requested someone to keep him out. But Dameron wouldn’t be capable of stopping him.

“Seeing as how you ran off before, figured we’d better have a guard.”

“Who’s supposed to guard me?” 

“Um.” Dameron glanced around, as if an answer would just appear to him. “I guess it seemed like it was all Armitage’s plan.”

“So you’re just here to keep him in.” That was better than keeping people out. And Kylo quickly thought of a way to twist it to his advantage. “I’m sure it’d be better if I was under guard too.”

He stepped towards the door, but Dameron blocked him. “What are you doing?”

“Putting myself under guard. This way you won’t need someone else for me.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense, but I don’t think Armitage will be too pleased.”

“He’ll deal with it. We’ve shared quarters before.”

“Yeah, and you fought a lot. Then planned this little mission of yours. I’m not sure having the two of you together is a good thing.”

Dameron wouldn’t be able to keep either of them in a room, and he wasn’t about to keep Kylo out. He used the Force to open Hux’s door. Dameron was still in the way but once Kylo took a step towards him, he moved out of the way. It wasn’t that easy to get rid of him, unfortunately - Dameron followed him into Hux’s quarters.

“What are you doing here?” Hux asked from his desk. The question seemed to be directed more at Dameron than Kylo. 

“He thinks we need to be under guard,” Kylo said as he headed over to Hux’s couch. He sat down, making himself comfortable. “So I’m here so he can guard us.”

“Just for the record,” Dameron said, “he’s volunteered to be under guard here. It wasn’t my idea. But if you want him to leave, we can make him leave.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Kylo muttered.

“He volunteered, did he?” Hux looked over to Kylo and he just shrugged. He couldn’t say anything in front of Dameron, but hopefully Hux realized what he was doing. “Well, I did mean everything I said. I want to help the Resistance, and I suppose it is helpful if you don’t have to waste manpower giving us seperate guards. I’ve tolerated him this long anyway.”

“You’re really okay with this?” Dameron asked.

“I wouldn’t agree to it if I wasn’t.”

“Okay, but just come get me if you change your mind.” Dameron seemed uncertain, but he left. As soon as the door was closed, Hux stood up and walked over to the couch.

For a brief moment, Kylo thought Hux would be angry, but then he sat down next to him and leaned against his shoulder. Kylo wrapped an arm around him and held him. “I was wondering how we were going to make this work,” Hux said. “Good thinking on saving them some manpower. Hopefully it makes you look a bit more cooperative too.”

“They don’t trust us.” 

“They shouldn’t.”

“You don’t trust me either.” Hux lifted his head but didn’t pull away from Kylo. It looked like he wanted to argue so Kylo explained. “Before we found Pryde. You said some things. We never resolved that.”

“Please let’s not talk about that now. I just want to stay like this.” Hux put his head back on Kylo’s shoulder and pressed his body closer. “We’ll talk. But later.”

Kylo really couldn’t argue. He knew it was an important conversation, but Hux was falling asleep on him and he wasn’t going to ruin the moment. If they were going to be under guard together, they’d at least have plenty of time for conversation later.

***

Finn had decided to lead the mission on Molurus himself. There really was no need for him to be present, but he wanted to get away from the _Finalizer_. The only good thing about that ship was that it was where he had met Poe. Other than that, it was nothing but bad memories and seeing Ren in his old robes was not helping matters.

When he first landed on the planet, the first thing he noticed were the stormtroopers. They were just walking around or sitting on the ground, some with their helmets off and many not carrying weapons. It looked as if they were lost. Still, Finn kept his hand on his lightsaber as he walked off the shuttle.

As he walked among them, he noticed that many were looking at him. They must have recognized him, which was not surprising if they had served on the _Finalizer_. Finn just couldn’t be sure if they were planning on attacking him or not. But he could feel the Force and he sensed he wasn’t in any danger.

“FN-2187?” someone called. Finn turned to see a young woman approaching. She had her helmet off, but had a blaster in her holster. Still, she didn’t seem like a threat.

“I go by Finn now,” he said.

“Sorry. Finn. Is it true that you joined the Resistance? General Hux said they’d take us in and help us.”

“Hux said that?” Finn was surprised, as he would have thought he would never willingly help another person. Why would he be pushing stormtroopers towards the Resistance?

“Yes. He told us that we didn’t have to join this last fight and that the Resistance would come and get us. We weren’t really sure that was true. But you’ve been there. They can really help us?”

“We can,” Finn said. He glanced around and realized that he had a small group starting to form around him. “The Resistance can help you find the homes you were taken from. And if you’d like to stay with the Resistance, you can do that too. We’re also working out something with the crew of the _Finalizer_ so anyone who wants can remain on board. You’re free now. You can make your own choice.”

“I want to go with you!” someone called out. That voice was joined by many others. Finn couldn’t help but smile. He would make sure that every single one of them was reunited with their lost family or given a home in the Resistance. 

“I’ll make sure someone takes you up to our cruiser,” Finn said. “I’ve got a mission here to finish.”

“Can we help?”

“I just need to make sure the Final Order is gone,” Finn said. “I’ve got to take a look around for myself.”

“They’re all gone from here,” said the trooper who had first called out to him. “We made sure of that.”

Finn nodded. That was good. He at least wouldn’t run into any opposition. Still, he needed to get to the main computer and see if there were other outposts or ships so the Resistance knew whether there was still a threat out there. 

It didn’t take him long to get to what looked like the main command center. He was not quite prepared for the sight that greeted him. An older man lay dead on the floor and from the looks of it, he hadn’t just been killed. He’d been tortured. Finn could guess who he was - and who was responsible for killing him - but he checked his identity anyway. 

“So much for Hux being on our side,” Finn muttered. He quickly pulled the data he needed and then left. He needed to let Rey and Poe know what he’d found.

Once he returned to the _Finalizer_ Finn met up with Rey and then found Poe, guarding Hux’s door. They had someone else take over for Poe real quick and then Finn led them to a nearby supply closet.

“They tortured and killed Pryde,” Finn said, quickly describing the state he’d found his body in. “We can’t trust them.”

“They’re probably planning something else,” Poe said. “That’s why Ren was so quick to agree to being under guard.”

“He did what?” Finn asked.

“He saw that I was guarding Hux’s door and decided that he should be under guard too,” Poe explained. “So he just went in there with Hux and Hux was okay with it. So they’re probably up to something.”

“We might be worrying too soon,” Rey said. “The Force told me we needed to wait before going after them. And I think that was the right thing to do. They destroyed the Final Order, didn’t they?”

“I still need to look over the data,” Finn said. “But if nothing else, they did a lot of damage.”

“That doesn’t excuse torturing someone,” Poe said.

“No,” Rey agreed. “But does one more offense on their very long list of offenses really make a difference at this point? We obviously can’t trust them, but Armitage does seem sincere. I think we need to give him a chance.”

“He’s had a chance,” Finn said.

“Not really,” Poe said. “I hate to say it, but that’s probably the only way he knows how to do things. Pryde’s one of the people he’s mentioned that hurt him. Maybe we should just talk to him, see if he understands what he did was wrong?”

“That’ll go well,” Finn muttered.

“Yeah, probably,” Poe said with a sigh. “But Rey’s got a point too. Are we going to try locking them up because they tortured one Final Order general? Especially if they seem willing to help us? We could use them.”

“I hate it when you’re right,” Finn groaned. He wanted both of them locked up, but he thought about the stormtroopers. If they’d been telling the truth, Hux had given them a choice before the battle. And the group they’d picked up before seemed to be proof enough that it was true. It was hard to believe, but maybe Hux really was trying.

“They get one more chance,” Rey said. “If they really want to help us, fine. But if they do anything like this again, we’ll lock them up.”

Finn guessed that would only be a matter of months, but at the same time, he hoped he was wrong about that. As much as he didn’t like Ren or Hux, he knew that Rey and Poe were hoping for the best for them, and Finn couldn’t help but want that too.


	20. Chapter 20

Hux was content to simply lay in bed, his limbs tangled with Kylo’s, lazily kissing him. He hadn’t thought too much about what would actually happen once his mission was completed, but he couldn’t complain. The Resistance seemed willing to give him a chance and he still had Kylo with him. Hux wasn’t completely convinced that Kylo would stay as docile as he had been, but for the moment at least, things were good.

Kylo’s hair was slowly falling in his face as they kissed and Hux tucked it behind his ear. His fingers lingered over the edge of his ear, and he couldn’t resist giving a light tug on his earlobes. Kylo’s face was turning pink and Hux let go of his ear, giving him another kiss. 

“Is that a no for ear touching?” Hux asked.

“You can do whatever you want.”

“I thought you wanted to discuss boundaries,” Hux said. “Since I’m not the mind reader in this relationship, you’ll need to tell me if you don’t like something.”

“I just wasn’t expecting it.” Kylo reached up and untucked his hair, hiding his ear from sight. “What about you? What don’t you want me to do?”

Hux didn’t know how to answer that. He didn’t want Kylo to go back to the way he used to be and hurt him, but that wasn’t something simple he could ask for. He knew it was a risk of being in a relationship with him. 

“Hux?”

“I…” He tried to think of something specific, but before he had the chance to say anything, there was a knock on the door.

“Hey, it’s Poe,” Dameron called from the other side of the door. “You two awake?”

“Yes,” Hux called back. He sat up, sure that he was going to have to let Poe in. And it wouldn’t do to have him find Kylo in his bed. 

“We gotta talk about some stuff,” Dameron said. “Think you could open the door?”

“Hold on a moment.” Hux grabbed a blanket and pillow and put them on the couch, then grabbed Kylo by the arm.

“What’re you doing?” Kylo asked. 

“If I open that door and he sees you in my bed, we’ll have to explain what’s going on. So go get on the couch and pretend you’re still asleep.”

That got Kylo moving and as he was settling on the couch, Hux put on a bathrobe. Then he walked over to the door and opened it. Dameron wasn’t the only one there - Skywalker and Finn were with him.

“Everything okay in here?” Dameron glanced over to Kylo. “He still alive?”

“Feel free to check,” Hux said. “What did you want to talk about?”

“First things first,” he said. “We gotta make sure you two get food, so breakfast time. And don’t worry. We brought some real food over on the _Falcon_.”

“He probably wants standard nutrition paste,” Finn said.

“It is perfectly well balanced and ensures that you get the right nutrients,” Hux defended. He knew First Order rations lacked flavor, but they were efficient and served their purpose.

“See? This is how we know he can’t be trusted. He’s defending that slop.”

“Well, I’m sorry I place more importance on ensuring proper nutrition than something so irrelevant as taste.”

“Hux, shut up,” Kylo said with a groan. He rolled over so he was facing them. “No one who’s ever had real food wants First Order rations. They’re terrible.”

“Does that mean he’s okay?” Dameron whispered to Finn. 

“Well, then I’m sure you’ll be happy to take your friends here up on the offer of real food.”

“What about you?” Dameron asked. “We can have food brought to you. Or have someone take you down to the mess hall.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Hux said. “Although not as nutritionally complete as rations, I have grown used to your kind of food, and I’d hate to make you do extra work just for me. Let me get ready.”

Hux stepped back into his bedroom and closed the door. Although he made it look like Kylo had slept on the couch, his outer layers were in the bedroom. Hux quickly put them in the refresher and hoped that wouldn’t seem too strange. Hux dressed quickly and then joined the others. Kylo was sitting on the couch, looking like he’d just woken up.

“Are you coming or not?” Hux asked. “If not, I’d ask that you pick up your clothes from the refresher and refrain from leaving them there again.”

“Whatever,” Kylo grumbled. As he stood and pushed the blanket off of him, Hux caught a quick glimpse of Kylo’s abs before he pulled his shirt down. He very much wanted to get back in bed with him and run his hands over all that muscle. Hopefully Dameron wouldn’t keep them long.

Once Kylo was dressed, they left together and headed to the hangar. As promised, the _Falcon_ was on board his ship and Hux couldn’t help but frown at the beat up old freighter. It didn’t seem right for it to be on the _Finalizer_ although he would probably have to get used to the idea.

They went on board and Dameron directed them to sit down at the dejarik table. Dameron and Finn also sat down. Shortly after, a golden protocol droid shuffled into the room carrying a tray. Hux could see that it was loaded with a pile of what looked like pastries.

“I suppose this counts as a nutritious breakfast,” Hux said, looking at the tray as it was set in front of them. He’d seen Dameron devour the sweets before, but Hux had always found most of them to be too sweet.

“We can find you some rations later,” Finn said, reaching for a colorful pastry. 

Hux was hungry enough that he couldn’t really complain. He reached for one that he knew wasn’t too sweet, but Kylo reached for the same one. Hux glared at him, and Kylo just stared back. For a moment, Hux wasn’t sure if he was serious about wanting to fight over it, but he saw the corner of his mouth curl into a smile.

“Get your hands off of it,” Hux growled, pushing his arm away. “It’s mine.”

“Pick another one,” Kylo said, refusing to budge.

“No.”

“How do the two of you _not_ kill each other when left alone?” Dameron asked. “Just let him have it, Ren. You know he’s a picky eater.”

Kylo turned to glare at Dameron, but he let go of the pastry. As they ate, Dameron did most of the talking, mostly about figuring out how things would work with the _Finalizer_ basically under Jedi control. Hux really couldn’t give them much, and simply said they’d have to talk to Mitaka. He was going to be the one in charge.

Once they were finished eating, they sat in awkward silence for a while. Hux was trapped between Kylo and Dameron, otherwise he would have slid out from the seat and headed back to his quarters. But Kylo didn’t move and Finn, Dameron, and Skywalker were all just looking at each other.

“I went down to Molurus,” Finn said eventually. “Is there anything you’d like to say?”

“About what?” Hux asked. He could guess what he was getting at, but just in case Pryde’s body hadn’t been discovered, he wasn’t about to admit to it.

“Anything,” Dameron said. 

“No,” Hux said. “I did what I set out to do.”

“Torture and murder was your plan all along?” Finn asked. “I really shouldn’t be surprised, should I?”

“I… I did plan on killing him,” Hux admitted. “The rest just happened. I saw Pryde and I finally had the upper hand over him. I just couldn’t help but remember all the times he beat me and humiliated me as a child. It never ended. And then he was just there and helpless and I couldn’t help it.”

Hux let the tears start to flow as he spoke, and it wasn’t all fake. Pryde had really abused him and it still upset Hux. But he didn’t have to keep it all in anymore. He could finally just let it all out. A hand rested on his back and Hux let out a sob at the gentle touch. He still wasn’t used to that. It took him a moment to realize it was Dameron’s hand and not Kylo’s.

“You’re going to be okay, now,” Dameron assured him.

“Am I? Seems like you’re looking for an excuse to lock me away and you’ve found it. A lifetime of being thrown around and when I finally have a chance to strike back at my abuser, you lot show up to lock me up for it.”

“Armitage, I understand why you did what you did. But you do know you can’t do that sort of thing with the Resistance, right?”

“Doesn’t really matter now, does it? I’m sure you don’t want me now. I really am just as worthless as my father always said.”

There was another hand on him, and Hux looked over at Kylo, surprised to see Kylo’s hand on his shoulder. They stared at each other for a moment, and then Kylo pulled his hand away.

“What about you, Kylo?” Skywalker asked. “What’s your excuse for your part in this?”

“My part?”

“Some of the injuries were caused by a lightsaber,” Skywalker said. “Clearly you helped.”

“Um.” Kylo glanced back at Hux and Hux fully expected Kylo to tell the truth - that Hux had been the one to use the lightsaber. “I didn’t like Pryde either.”

“And that was why you helped torture him?” Skywalker folded her arms across her chest.

“No. You all know that Pryde wasn’t the only one who hurt Hux. I did too. And this was the only way I could try to make things better. And don’t give me that nonsense about how it’s not right. Pryde was a terrible person and deserved exactly what he got.”

“That’s not for you to decide.”

“I was the Supreme Leader,” Kylo said. “I think it was.”

“You’re not anymore. You know what you are now? Nothing.”

Hux couldn’t help but laugh a bit at that. He didn’t agree with Skywalker, as Kylo was his everything now, but it was a least amusing listening to Skywalker talk to him like that. Still, Hux wanted nothing more than to go back to his quarters so he could tell him that Kylo that she was wrong and that he was still important to him. And he’d much rather have Kylo’s hands on him than Dameron’s.

“We haven’t decided what we’re going to do with you yet,” Dameron said. “But Armitage, you need to know that no matter what, we’re not going to hurt you, okay?”

Hux looked at Dameron and he felt like he could trust him. The Resistance had always been weak and not willing to torture their prisoners. That knowledge along with the look in Dameron’s eyes was enough for Hux to believe that he was telling the truth. Dameron was the last person Hux expected to hurt him.

“I’d like to go back to my quarters now,” he said quietly.

“Yeah, of course.” Finn and Dameron got up quickly. Kylo was a bit slower to move but soon they were all on their feet and walking back down the corridors of the _Finalizer_.

“Hey, Armitage,” Dameron said as they were approaching the door to his quarters. “You want some time alone? Or at least without him?” He gestured to Kylo.

Hux just stared at Dameron for a moment, then shook his head. “No. Ren doesn’t bother me. We really have come to an understanding.”

“Sure, if you say so, buddy,” Dameron said. 

Hux opened his door and walked in with Kylo right behind him. He quickly closed the door and as soon as they were alone, he fell into Kylo. Finally, he could just let himself be held.

***

Kylo wasn’t surprised that Hux immediately leaned into him as soon as they were alone. He could sense how much he’d wanted it the entire time they’d been with the others. Kylo had too, especially when Dameron had been the one to comfort Hux. Kylo had wanted to push Dameron away and scoop Hux into his arms, but they had to play their parts still.

“You’re okay now,” Kylo said softly as he started to guide Hux to the bed.

“You know that was an act, don’t you?” Hux asked, face still pressed against him and muffling his words. But Kylo could understand him just fine.

“I think that was your intention,” Kylo said. “But some of that was real. I could feel it. That meant Rey could too. So maybe it’ll work.”

They sat down on the bed and Kylo used the Force to remove their boots so he didn’t have to let go of Hux. He then laid down, pulling Hux with him. Hux curled up against him, and Kylo simply held him. He knew Hux didn’t want to talk about it, but Kylo could sense that he was still upset.

He’d been in Hux’s mind and knew the kind of abuse he suffered at Pryde’s hands. Even though most of it had been a long time ago, Hux had never been able to let his feelings out. Now there was nothing to stop him and Kylo was going to help him through it. He could only imagine what kind of state he’d be in if he’d never been allowed to express his emotions.

Kylo was a little surprised to find Hux was still comfortable in his arms. After all, the memories of the things Pryde had done to him had surely reminded Hux of what Kylo had done. Hux didn’t entirely trust him yet, but the fact that he was still curled up in his arms, even in his most vulnerable moment, made Kylo feel like he never had before. It felt like _he_ actually mattered. Not his powers, his family, or anything else. Just him.

It was far too many years too late, but Kylo knew he was meant to protect Hux. That was the one important thing in his life. All that he had learned, all the power he’d ever learned to wield, it was all for Hux.

“Kylo?” Hux looked up from Kylo’s chest, looking a little worried.

“You’re okay,” Kylo assured him. “No one will ever hurt you again.”

“You’re doing something weird with the Force.”

“I am?” Kylo realized he was doing his best to hold onto Hux using the Force as well as his arms. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to stop,” Hux said, resting against Kylo once more. “Just maybe warn me next time?”

“Of course. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Why couldn’t you always have been like this?” Hux asked. “I suppose I wouldn’t have disliked you any less at first, but I like this version of you.”

“This version of me is all for you,” Kylo said. “I think this is who I really am and I just want to keep you safe.”

Hux pulled away from him, but only enough so he could look at him. For several moments, he didn’t say anything and Kylo worried that he’d said the wrong thing and upset him. Soon, Hux had a hand on Kylo’s cheek and started to stroke him gently.

“For some reason, I think I actually believe you. It’s not some Force trick, is it?”

“No,” Kylo said, but he stopped himself before he could say he would never do that. Hux had no reason to believe him. At least not yet. Kylo hoped they would be together long enough that he could show him.

Hux gave him a quick kiss and then moved to rest on the pillow beside him, their foreheads nearly touching. “So what do we do if they try to lock us up?”

“I won’t let them,” Kylo promised. “I’ll cooperate with them as long as we’re together and free.”

“I’m not too concerned about the free part,” Hux said. “Just that we’re together.”

“Then that’s good enough for me too.”

***

“This really would be easier if we dropped them off somewhere,” Rey said as she settled on the bunk on the _Falcon_. “All we’d have to do was make sure there was no way off the planet, and we’d be free of them for good.”

“You have a point,” Finn said. He sat down next to her and Poe also joined them. It was very crowded, but none of them wanted to be alone. “I still think they’d find a way to cause trouble. Even on an uninhabited planet.”

“They are behaving themselves,” Poe pointed out. “Mostly. What if they really are willing to help us out? I feel like we could use them.”

“But do you think we can really trust them?” Finn asked.

“No,” Poe said with a sigh. “I wish we could. You know, for a while there, I really thought Armitage might actually end up not so bad.”

“You might be right,” Finn said. “As much as it pains me to admit that. But I guess he gave everyone a choice about if they wanted to join him in the fight against the Final Order and that’s more than I’d ever expect from him.”

As Poe and Finn discussed just how terrible of a person Armitage was, Rey considered what she’d felt from him. He’d genuinely been hurt and his feelings were very real. She could hardly blame him for taking the chance to get back at someone who’d hurt him so badly. Rey couldn’t say she wouldn’t do the same, although perhaps not quite as gruesome. Although she had nearly killed Kylo. Armitage wouldn’t have known better either. After all, it didn’t seem like he’d ever known kindness.

“I think we should give them another chance,” Rey said. Finn and Poe fell silent and looked at her, obviously waiting for her to explain. “If Armitage really meant what he said and he wants to join the Resistance, then let’s give him one more chance to do the right thing.”

“What about Kylo?” Poe asked.

“Ugh,” Rey groaned. “I don’t know. I can’t even figure out why he really went along with all this. He doesn’t like Armitage, so the only thing I can think of was that he just wanted to kill Pryde.”

“We don’t really have the ability to lock him up,” Finn said.

“Yeah,” Poe agreed.

“So we let him have a chance too,” Rey said. “He seems to be going along with this for whatever reason. As much as I’d like to believe he’s changed, I doubt it. So when he screws up, I’ll deal with him then.”

Rey didn’t quite know what she would do with him, but she knew it wouldn’t be pretty. She didn’t want to be forced to kill him, but it would be difficult to make him do anything he didn’t want to do. She could only hope that he wouldn’t give her any trouble.

Not that there was much of a chance of that happening. She fell against Finn, already exhausted just thinking about it. But at least she had Finn and Poe to make her feel better.


	21. Chapter 21

Although Hux had always planned on returning to Ajan Kloss, it felt strange to finally be back. He glanced up to the sky and could see that the _Finalizer_ was in orbit. Maybe that was what was different. Glancing at Kylo, he realized that was different too. Last time he’d been on the moon, he’d hated Kylo and was only tolerating him because he was useful. Now, Hux didn’t want to be away from him. 

If he could have, Hux would be holding Kylo’s hand as they departed the _Falcon_ , but they had an image to maintain. If the Resistance knew the truth about their relationship, they might try to separate them. It was best if they believed being in each other’s presence was a punishment in itself. 

At least Kylo had a solution to the problem of not being able to touch each other in public. Hux could feel the Force around his hand, and it was as close as they could come to holding hands. They’d had a lot of time to themselves in their last days on the _Finalizer_ and they’d managed to figure out just what Hux was comfortable with in regards to the Force. 

Kylo could touch him in any way using nothing but the Force, but without warning, Hux couldn’t tolerate much more than the hand holding they were currently engaged in or a light touch on the arm. When Kylo told him exactly what he was doing, Hux didn’t mind feeling the Force wrapped around him in a hug, but he needed to know before Kylo did it. So they had worked out some subtle signs that they could send to each other so Hux could let Kylo know it was okay.

As they walked into the base, Hux couldn’t wait until they were in their quarters and he could finally touch Kylo properly. But of course Dameron had to be an obstacle. Kylo had opened the door and walked inside, but Dameron put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from following.

“Hey,” he said. “You know we can get you separate quarters, right? You don’t have to stay with him.”

“It’s fine,” Hux said, trying to sound resigned. “You want us both under guard and it’ll be easier if we’re together.”

“Yeah, well, just let someone know if you change your mind, okay?”

Hux nodded and then went into his quarters, but stopped in the doorway. Kylo was sitting on the bottom bunk. He glanced up at Hux and winked, and Hux knew it was the perfect opportunity to fight.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Hux asked. “That’s my bed!”

“Yeah, but I was here first,” Kylo said. “And I took the top last time. It’s your turn.”

“No,” Hux said, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Hey,” Dameron said from behind him. “We can get you separate quarters.”

“There’s nothing wrong with sharing,” Hux said. “Ren just needs to get off of my bed.”

“I don’t like the top,” Kylo said.

“Neither do I.”

“Fine.” Kylo stood up and pulled his lightsaber from his belt. “I’ll just cut the top bunk off and we can both have the bottom.”

“Wait!” Dameron called, pushing his way past Hux and into the room. He stopped just out of range of Kylo’s saber. “Don’t do anything drastic yet. Let me see if I can get the two of you separate beds, okay?”

Kylo stared at him for several moments, then put his lightsaber on his belt. “Fine.”

“I’ll let you know what I can come up with,” Dameron said before leaving the room. Finally, Hux and Kylo were alone together. Hux walked over to the bed and nearly fell into Kylo’s arms.

“I already hate this,” Kylo said. “I want to be able to touch you whenever I want.”

“I know,” Hux said, lightly kissing him. “But it’s not so different than when we were on the _Finalizer_. We’ll make it work. How long do you think it’ll take Dameron to figure out our little bed problem and more importantly, do you think he’ll knock if he comes back?”

Kylo grinned and Hux took that as an invitation to kiss him again, deeper. It had only been a short while since they’d been intertwined with each other in Hux’s quarters on the _Finalizer_ , but it felt like far too long. 

Hux ran his fingers through Kylo’s hair, enjoying the soft texture. He grabbed one of Kylo’s hands and placed it on his ass. Once Hux encouraged it, Kylo didn’t waste time, running his hands all over him, occasionally grabbing his ass. Hux leaned into Kylo, pushing him back onto the bed. 

Hux moved away from Kylo’s mouth, kissing him on his jaw. Kylo lifted his head, giving Hux better access to his neck. He kissed all over Kylo’s neck and was very tempted to leave a mark behind, but he couldn’t leave any evidence behind of their activities. Of course, that only meant that visible areas were off limits and there were many more places on Kylo that Hux was free to mark.

He reached for Kylo’s belt, removing it and then unzipping his tunic. Fortunately, he was not wearing his full set of robes, which meant it was much easier for Hux to strip him. Soon he had his hands on Kylo’s bare chest and he started kissing lower on his neck. Kylo moaned as Hux kissed the base of his neck, just above his clavicle. That’s where Hux would leave his mark.

As he sucked on Kylo’s skin, he could feel Kylo writhing under him, clearly trying to get his body positioned just right underneath him. Hux could have made things easier for him, but he wanted to take his time and properly enjoy him. He squeezed his knees tighter around Kylo, holding him in place better. Kylo stopped squirming, but he was getting louder.

Hux sat up, looking down at his handiwork. The area he’d been working at was red and Hux knew Kylo would have a mark there soon. He ran his hands across his chest, wondering where he should leave his next one, but before he could make up his mind, there was a knock at the door.

Swearing, Hux jumped off of Kylo, giving him a chance to zip up his tunic before he opened the door. He couldn’t believe they were being interrupted so soon. He’d just wanted an hour, or even half an hour, where he didn’t have to worry about anything besides Kylo. Why couldn’t the Resistance just leave them in peace?

When the door opened, he was surprised to see Dameron. He’d thought he’d take much longer to figure out the bed situation. At least a couple of hours. But maybe he was coming to bother him about something else.

“Do you need something?” Hux asked. Hopefully he could get rid of him soon enough.

“Just wanted to run something by you,” Dameron said. “We don’t have any spare beds. At least not smaller ones. So I can get you a larger bed, but then, two won’t fit in here. So I was thinking I can get you two a decent couch? One big enough to sleep on.”

“You expect me to sleep on a couch?” Hux said.

“I guess that’s something the two of you will have to work out,” Dameron said, glancing behind Hux. Soon, Hux could feel Kylo’s presence.

“I don’t want to sleep on the couch,” Kylo said. 

“Yeah, look, I know this situation isn’t ideal, but at least this way neither of you are on a top bunk?”

“He’s got a point, Ren,” Hux said, turning to face him. “What if we split time on the couch? You sleep there for a week, and then we switch and I sleep there for a few days.”

“A few days?”

“Fine. A week. I’d rather sleep on a couch than fight you every night for the bottom bunk.”

“Fine,” Kylo grumbled.

“Thank you, Dameron. When will the new furniture be here?”

“About twenty minutes,” he said, looking down at his datapad. “Assuming we don’t run into any issues with the droids bringing it.”

“Should we move the old furniture out?” Hux asked.

“Uh, yeah, you know, that’d be a great idea. I mean, the droids can do it too, but if we can get it out, this’ll go by faster. One of you want to help me with the couch?”

“You two get the couch,” Kylo said. 

Hux rolled his eyes, making sure Dameron saw it. That would have been his reaction to Kylo volunteering him for work before, but he knew Kylo must have had something in mind. He picked up one end of the couch and Dameron grabbed the other and they carried it out of the room. Hux started to head back in, but he quickly backed out, pushing Dameron out of the way as he did so.

Their old bed was floating in the air, slowly making its way towards the door. Hux couldn’t see Kylo, but he knew he was responsible. Once it was in the hallway, Kylo let it drop.

“Show off,” Dameron muttered. “At least that went by easier than I thought. I also ordered for new sheets to be sent and a couple of datapads. They’re modified, so you won’t be able to contact anyone outside of the Resistance, but you’ll at least have some entertainment options.”

“I understand,” Hux said. “However, do you think there is any possibility that I might be able to have a way to contact Mitaka? Monitored communications, of course, but I know that ship better than anyone and he might need to talk to me.”

“Uh, yeah, I’ll see what I can do. What about you, Ren? You have any special requests?”

“Can you leave?”

“Yeah, sure, right after I go over schedules with the two of you. Hugs, you’ll be back to your old job of monitoring intelligence reports but this time, with more of a focus on helping us find more former stormtroopers. We’ll have someone escort you to breakfast, and then take you to your office. We’ve decided that you can work in there on your own, but you’ll need an escort to go anywhere else. Someone can bring you lunch, and then have an escort to dinner and then back to your quarters.”

“That sounds fine,” Hux said. “Although I think lunch is probably unnecessary. I don’t need to waste that kind of time eating.”

“Yeah, have you seen yourself?” Dameron poked him in the arm, but Hux quickly pushed his finger away. “You look a bit on the thin side, and if you’re one of us, we’re gonna take care of you.”

“Right. Whatever you say, Dameron.” Hux was perfectly healthy, but he wasn’t going to waste his time arguing with him about it. He just wanted Dameron to leave so he could go back to Kylo. Although it would probably be best to wait for their new furniture.

“As for you, Ren, we don’t exactly have a job for you. We’re thinking that you have your meals with Hux, and then just stay in here unless you’re with Rey.”

Hux hated the sound of that plan - it meant that he and Kylo would be apart most of the day, and have to spend far too much time together but supervised. Hux knew that it would be hard to see Kylo at the end of every day and still need to wait to touch him.

“What if he works with me?” Hux suggested. “Not that he’d be terribly useful, but at least that way you don’t need as many escorts. Of course, if Skywalker needs him for a while, she’s free to take him.”

“The two of you seem awfully interested in trying to make things easy on us,” Dameron said, looking between the two of them. “What are you up to?”

“Nothing,” Hux said. “I didn’t really want any part of this when I first came here but things changed, and I’ve certainly made your lives more difficult already. If I can do a few little things to make it easier, then I’ll do what I can.”

“And what’s your excuse Ren?”

“I don’t know,” he said, shrugging. “Guess I’m trying to be good. Or maybe I want you to let your guard down so I can steal another ship.”

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen again.”

Before that conversation could continue, a group of droids arrived. The first ones had a bed and they crowded their way into Hux’s quarters. They deposited the bed, straightened it out and then took off. As soon as they left, the next set of droids came in and they brought a couch, longer and wider than the one they had before. It would be easier to sleep on, but Hux knew neither of them would actually be sleeping there.

“The sheets will be here in a little bit. Anything else you two need?” Dameron asked.

“No.” Hux just wanted himi gone so he could climb back on top of Kylo, but it wasn’t as if Dameron knew he was interrupting anything. “Thank you, Dameron.”

“See you around, Hugs.”

Finally, he was gone and Hux had his arms around Kylo once again. He would have continued where they left off, but he had no idea how quickly Dameron was going to send over the sheets for the bed. 

Not wanting to be interrupted again, Hux led Kylo to the couch and they settled down together. Hux really didn’t need anything more than just to be with Kylo.

***

“Come on, Kylo,” Hux said poking him in his side. “We’ve got a schedule to keep now.”

“I don’t wanna get up,” Kylo grumbled. 

“I know, but I need to leave soon and if you want to spend the day with me, you need to get up now.”

Kylo groaned but finally kicked the blanket off. He didn’t get nearly as much sleep as he would have liked, but he’d much rather be tired and with Hux than well-rested and alone all day. He showered and got dressed just in time, as there was a loud pounding on the door. Hux was still putting on his boots so Kylo went to open the door.

He immediately tried to close the door after being greeted with a loud roar. Chewbacca barged into the room, growling and roaring at Kylo. The Wookie was clearly angry and Kylo realized it was the first time he’d really seen him since the day he and Lando picked him up from the Death Star ruins.

Chewie shoved Kylo to the ground, still telling him off, and then he grabbed him, picking him back up again. Kylo pulled his lightsaber to his hand, thinking that Chewie might actually try to kill him, but just as he brought it to his hand, he realized that he was just being hugged.

Chewie growled a few more words out, softer this time. He obviously had some conflicting feelings. Not that Kylo could blame him. Everything Chewie had said had been true - he’d torn apart his family. But what was surprising was that Chewie seemed willing to forgive him. Kylo never would have expected that.

“What’s going on?” Hux demanded. Although he sounded irritated, Kylo could tell he was worried. Chewie finally released him and Kylo turned to face Hux and gave him a slight nod, trying to let him know it was okay. Chewie growled at Hux, but Hux just looked confused. 

“Oh, I suppose you wouldn’t speak Shyriiwook,” Kylo said. “Chewbacca is our escort for the morning.”

“And it took that much racket and knocking you to the ground for him to say that?”

“Uh, that was something else. Old friend of the family. So as you can imagine, he doesn’t like me that much.”

Chewie argued with that, but Kylo didn’t press it. There was no point arguing with a Wookie, especially about who was considered family. Out of everyone, Kylo felt like Chewie was one of the last people he could ever repair his relationship with. That was a second chance he knew he didn’t deserve.

“Well, let’s get going then,” Hux said.

Chewbacca took them into the mess hall, staying with them the entire time. Unfortunately, that meant Kylo and Hux couldn’t even really talk to each other. Kylo saw that Hux hadn’t taken much to eat and he was concerned, but he couldn’t let Chewie know. But maybe he could make the situation a little different.

“How do you even survive eating so little?” Kylo asked, watching as Hux slowly ate a piece of bread.

“Just because I don’t see the need to eat three days worth of food at every meal doesn’t mean I eat a little. It means you eat too much. Do you have any idea how much of the First Order budget was spent on your horrible eating habits?”

“I’m sure you more than made up for it, nibbling on crust like some kind of rat.”

Hux glared at him, and without breaking eye contact, he picked up a spoon and threw it at Kylo. He managed to catch it, although Hux hadn’t thrown it that hard. In retaliation, Kylo threw a sausage at Hux, using the Force to make sure it ended up on Hux’s plate.

“Clearly you need to eat more,” Kylo said.

“If I do, will you shut up? I’d do just about anything to do that.”

“Try it and see.”

Hux ate the sausage and Kylo fell silent. There was no use continuing the argument when Kylo got exactly what he wanted - and to anyone paying attention, it sounded like Hux got what he wanted. 

Once they’d finished eating, they cleaned up their trays and then Chewie led them to Hux’s office. When they arrived, the Wookie grabbed Kylo, asking him a series of questions, and Kylo just nodded.

“He asked for my help,” Kylo said with a shrug. “And I don’t have anything else to do.”

Chewie gave a soft growl and let him go, and Kylo quickly went into the office with Hux. As soon as the door closed, Kylo reached out and grabbed Hux’s hand. 

“I don’t know how we’re going to do this,” Kylo said. “I don’t like not being able to touch you. And we have to do this every day?”

“You’re so needy,” Hux said, stroking the side of his face. “At least we’re together and that’s what’s important. “It’s not like I can be holding your hand while working anyway.”

“You could sit in my lap,” Kylo suggested.

“Well, if there was only one chair, then that might have been our only option, but someone’s already thought ahead.” Hux pointed towards his desk and Kylo saw that Hux’s chair was still there, but someone had put a second chair in on the opposite side of the desk. 

“Something could happen to the second chair,” Kylo said, glaring at the offending furniture.

“I’m sure it could,” Hux said. “But then we have to explain why it was destroyed, and what would we do? Tell them we don’t need a replacement? Remember, we’re trying to behave ourselves.”

“Yeah,” Kylo agreed with a sigh. Hux leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before going to his desk. They had to stick to the plan if they ever wanted to be free of the Resistance - the only way Hux thought it would be possible was if they could convince the Resistance that they were not a threat, and then maybe they’d let them go someday. There was the back up plan as well, which was to run away if it took too long. That still required earning the Resistance’s trust. 

“Let’s see what we’re working with,” Hux said as he turned on the computer. Kylo went to stand behind him, looking over his shoulder. He quickly grew bored watching the screen as Hux started looking through data and instead started running his hand through Hux’s hair. Feeling the soft texture against his fingers was far more exciting than whatever it was Hux was doing.

“Looks like no one’s altered anything,” Hux said after a while. “I just have a lot of new data to organize. I could probably get it all done today if I work late.”

“Or you can finish tomorrow and we can have more time lying in bed together,” Kylo suggested. “You said we have to behave ourselves. Not work until you drive yourself mad.”

“Yes, but if I look committed to the cause, that can only help us.”

Kylo huffed. He hated that Hux was right and that he couldn’t think of a good argument besides he wanted more time for sex and cuddling Hux, and he knew that wouldn’t be a good enough reason. Hux reached up and took hold of Kylo’s hand.

“Don’t worry,” Hux said. “I’ll still have plenty of time for you.”

“I’ll get you some tea,” Kylo said, kissing Hux’s hand before stepping away from him. He really was useless just standing around. The best he could do was make Hux happy.

Of course, it wasn’t going to be as easy as it once was to bring tea to Hux, as now he had to be under guard at all times. As he stepped out of Hux’s office, he considered trying to convince Chewie to just let him go get tea, but the plan was to be as cooperative as possible.

“I wanted to get Hux some tea,” Kylo explained when Chewie asked what he was doing. “Is it okay if I wait here for my escort?”

Chewie gave him a questioning growl, but then told him it was fine to wait in the hallway before calling Rey and asking for her to come get him. She said she’d be there, but it still meant that Kylo had to stand in the corridor with Chewie, which quickly became awkward. Kylo didn’t want to talk to Chewie, nor did he know what he could even say. Chewie had already unloaded all of his feelings on Kylo, and didn’t seem to have anything else to say.

When Kylo saw Rey, he was relieved. She didn’t look pleased, but at least the fact that she was there meant that he didn’t need to stand awkwardly in the hall with Chewie any longer. As soon as she was close, he started walking, but she grabbed him by the sleeve. Although he could have easily pulled away, Kylo stopped, turning to face her.

“Where are you planning on going?” Rey asked.

“I was going to make tea. For Hux.”

Rey stared at him for a few moments then shrugged and let go of him. He made his way to the lounge where he could make tea. Rey followed him, silent and watching him carefully.

“So this is what you’re doing?” Rey asked once the tea was steeping. “Making tea for Armitage? Why?”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t like Armitage, but you insist on spending time with him and now you’re making him tea?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“What else am I supposed to do? If we separate, then you’ll need two guards for us. Just seems a waste of time. And there really isn’t much I can do besides make tea.”

Rey didn’t say anything else. Kylo knew she was suspicious, but he really was just making tea. When he was done, he headed back to Hux’s office, but Rey didn’t leave him. Instead she followed him inside, which meant Kylo had to act like there was nothing going on between him and Hux. Kylo put the tea down on the desk and then took a seat in the chair.

“Thank you,” Hux said, his attention fixed on his computer.

“It’s not poisoned,” Rey announced. “Just in case you were wondering. Do you need anything else?”

“No. Thank you.”

Kylo could see Rey watching them from the corner of his eye, but he tried to make sure he wasn’t obvious that he was paying attention to her. He folded up his arms and put them on the desk, resting his head on top of his arms. Finally, Rey left without another word.

As soon as Rey was gone, Hux reached across the desk and ran a hand through Kylo’s hair. Kylo closed his eyes, sighing in contentment as Hux gently pet him. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad sitting around the office all day.

***

“They’re up to something,” Finn said, feeling as if he’d had the exact same conversation before.

“Definitely,” Poe agreed. He was sprawled out on their bed wearing a pair of loose pants and Finn sat down next to him to take his boots off.

“Kylo was making tea,” Rey said as she came out of the refresher, wearing nothing but a large shirt and underwear. “And they’ve been acting normal. Cooperative.”

“I heard they’ve still been fighting,” Poe said. “Chewie said they were throwing things at breakfast.”

“And they got into an argument at lunch,” Finn said. He’d been keeping a close eye on reports involving Ren and Hux, wanting to make sure he didn’t miss anything. “And dinner. I have no idea why they insist on spending all their time together if they can’t stand each other.”

“Like you said, they’re up to something,” Rey said. “I just can’t figure out what.”

She crawled into bed, laying on her stomach next to Poe, who wrapped an arm around her. Her shirt lifted up a bit and Finn couldn’t help but smile at the view.

“I don’t like it, but we’ve got them guarded. And I’d really rather not talk about them right now.” Finn reached over to touch Rey’s thigh and she grinned.

“You’re right,” she said. “I can think of much more exciting things to talk about. Or not talk about.”

“I like the way you two think,” Poe said.

Finn leaned down and kissed Poe and then Rey. They definitely had better things to do than constantly worry about the worst people on the base.


	22. Chapter 22

Hux finished looking over the newest files on what was left of the First Order. There was very little coming in anymore, and Hux suspected that most of the Order had either been found or had disbanded on their own. Still, there were a handful of capital ships that were unaccounted for and even if they weren’t under First Order control, the Resistance - or New Republic - didn’t want them out there.

Although Hux was still in charge of keeping track of data on First Order ships and personnel, he spent most of his days working with the former stormtroopers, doing everything he could to help them transition to a normal life. Hux mostly focused on the first parts of the process - undoing their conditioning, but that really was only the first step. Learning how to live outside of the Order was in many cases the harder part.

When they were ready, Finn did his best to find them a place where they belonged. Some joined the Resistance, while others were taken back to their home planets. Hux just needed to make sure they were ready. To determine that, Dameron had Hux talking to them, sometimes as a group and sometimes individually.

It was time consuming and Hux hated it, but it was what the Resistance wanted and Hux was still working to convince them that he was on their side, and he worried he might be running out of time. Once they ran out of former First Order personnel to chase and all the stormtroopers were fully deconditioned, Hux didn’t know what would happen. If they no longer had a use for him, Hux wasn’t sure what the Resistance would do with him.

He had, he thought, made some progress on getting the Resistance to trust him in the months since he’d returned. He tapped the ankle bracelet attached to his left leg with the other foot, still not quite used to its presence. But at least it meant he didn’t require an escort everywhere he went, which made life easier.

Hux looked at his schedule and saw that he had three meetings until he was done for the day. Of course, each one had the potential to take much longer than expected, so Hux always added an extra hour onto the time. Sometimes, he’d be talking to a trooper and they’d simply break down crying or spend several hours yelling at him. No matter what, Hux stayed with them until they were done. He was starting to understand the need to get emotions out and for the former stormtroopers, it was part of the process of getting them to a more normal life.

The first on the schedule was a group of five. They were from one of the most recent groups that the Resistance had rescued, and weren’t quite at the point they would do much but sit in awkward silence. Hux’s job was to get them to stop seeing him as a general. It should have been easy given the casual clothing he wore, but some of the conditioning went deep.

It went about like Hux expected - the former troopers didn’t say much unless Hux directly addressed them. One of the things he was hoping to see was that they would request things they needed, and one did ask if he could get an extra blanket. Once that request was approved, another asked if she could get a new pair of boots. Hopefully that would lead to them being able to ask for things without being prompted soon enough, but that group still had a long way to go.

He let the group go early and made a few notes about their progress and his plans for the next time, but that left him with plenty of time before he had anything else on his schedule, so he sent a quick message to Kylo, wanting to see if he was available for a bit. Their relationship was still secret, but Hux could always use the excuse that Kylo was useful in helping former troopers recover. 

Since they no longer required an escort or constant guard, they’d lost their excuse to be around each other constantly, and although Hux often missed Kylo throughout the day, he felt like they were at least at a point where they did well on their own. That first day that they had been apart had been horrendous. Hux had gotten so worried about Kylo he needed to get checked out by medical staff and Kylo had grown enraged enough to break a few things.

They’d at least seen each other because Hux was being checked out by the medics and Rey had dropped a sedated Kylo off at medical. They were far beyond that now, and Hux could handle a few hours apart from Kylo. Still, whenever he got the chance, Hux made sure to see Kylo throughout the day.

Kylo responded almost immediately to his message saying he was on his way and soon he was walking through the door. He immediately walked over to Hux and threw his arms around him and Hux let himself relax against him. 

“You smell like jungle,” Hux said, inhaling the scent clinging to Kylo’s neck.

“Working on a new expansion,” Kylo said. “Need more living quarters for all these troopers that are staying.”

“Well you’ve done very good work so far,” Hux said. Kylo had already helped construct one building that could house about fifty people, but Hux knew they would likely need more. The stormtroopers used the back sections of the base when they first arrived, living in large communal quarters, but as they started to figure out who they were and decided what they wanted, they needed to have their own space. And with as many troopers as Hux was working with, he knew they’d need it soon.

“Maybe you should slow down,” Kylo suggested. “Then it won’t be so urgent to build. And I can spend more time in here with you.”

“And what would we say when they notice we’re spending all our time together again?”

“That I need someone to fight with and you’re the only one worthy.”

Hux kissed Kylo, unable to help but smile. He didn’t think that answer would go over well. Skywalker and the others still didn’t seem ready to trust them and Hux felt as if they were just waiting for them to slip up. Whether or not their relationship would be a problem was uncertain, but Hux wasn’t going to risk it.

They had to be careful meeting each other in a room where anyone could walk in, or at least not be all over each other. But Hux couldn’t help it and it wasn’t as if any of the stormtroopers actually wanted to talk to him. They wouldn’t arrive early, which hopefully meant he and Kylo had an hour alone together.

It was tempting to pull all of Kylo’s clothes off, but Hux knew better. With their tracking anklets, the Resistance knew exactly where they were and if they needed one of them for something, they’d be caught. It was only in their quarters that they had the benefit of people knocking before entering.

Hux finally pulled away from Kylo, but not before giving him another kiss. He kept a hold of his hand, because he really did like having some form of physical contact. He had 35 years without to make up for. And of course, he and Kylo had gotten very good at pretending they were fighting anytime they were caught holding hands or gently touching each other.

“I probably shouldn’t keep you long if you’re busy,” Hux said. 

“It’s okay,” Kylo said. “It just goes faster when I’m out there. Time to let someone else do the hard work for a bit.”

Hux walked with Kylo over to a couch and sat down with him. He would have been happy to simply sit with Kylo but he bumped his anklet as he was sitting down, which reminded him of the problem Kylo had been working on.

“Any luck with the anklet?” Hux asked.

“No,” Kylo said, shaking his head. “I can take them off, but without the key, it sends an alert. Tried it once. I don’t think Rey believed me when I said it was an accident.”

“I wouldn’t either.”

“But you know me. Still, she just put it back on and told me to be careful. They made it so the Force would be useless. I think this might be something for you to figure out. Or we just hope they take them off eventually.”

“I doubt that’s going to happen,” Hux said. The Resistance had very good reason to monitor them. “I’ll see if I can find a way to take them off just in case we need to run.”

“You really think we’d need to at this point? They seem to be okay with us now. Even the Republic. They know we’re here. Not that they have the power to do anything.”

“We’re still useful,” Hux pointed out. He hadn’t shared his worries with Kylo yet and really didn’t want to. He knew Kylo would just tell him everything was going to be fine. And for him, that was true. Kylo was family. “I just want to be prepared for the day when they decide we’re not that useful anymore.”

“That day will come for me far before you,” Kylo said.

“What are you talking about? You’re a… well, not a Jedi, but you’re something like that.”

“Yeah, but Rey and Finn are going to start training more Jedi. I’m strong in the Force, but not anymore than Rey. And once they have a bunch more Jedi, what I do isn’t so special. But you’re the engineer who designed Starkiller base and so many other things. I’m sure there’s even more things you could make that they would love to have.”

“I…” Hux hadn’t even considered that possibility. He’d thought his days designing weapons were long over, because the Resistance wouldn’t want him anywhere near weaponry. But now that Kylo mentioned it, he realized he missed that kind of work. “That would be nice. Do you really think they’d let me?”

“Why wouldn’t they? Probably wouldn’t let you near anything that you could turn into a weapon. But you can design things for them. Doesn’t even have to be weapons. What about that new shielding system idea you had?”

Hux hadn’t thought about that system since he was transferred from the _Finalizer_ , when everything had gone so wrong. It had only been in the early stages of development, just ready for its first round of testing. Kylo had given the okay to start the project, but cancelled everything Hux had been working on once they were on the _Steadfast_.

“Sorry,” Kylo said, reaching over with his free hand to stroke his cheek. “I shouldn’t have brought that up. I didn’t know. That it would make you sad.”

“No, it’s okay,” Hux said, grabbing Kylo’s hand and bringing it to his lips for a kiss. “I was just thinking about it. I’d developed it during a bad time in our lives. That’s all. Maybe I’ll mention working on that once it looks like they’ve run out of work for me to do here.”

Kylo smiled and squeezed Hux’s hand. They fell into silence, just sitting next to each other. Hux liked simply being near Kylo, as it always made him feel more at ease. And Kylo seemed to feel the same, because before long, he fell asleep. Hux carefully pulled his hand away from Kylo’s and laid him down on the couch. 

Hux knew his next meeting was soon, and he should probably wake Kylo up so he could get back to work, but Hux knew that Kylo needed to rest. He usually worked long hours and then Hux kept him up at night. Not that Kylo ever complained about that. Hux found a blanket and put it over him.

When the next trooper walked in the door, Hux put his finger to his lips, hoping she’d be quiet. The last time she’d spoken to him, she’d yelled at him. She was one of the first troopers that had come to the base, but her progress had been much slower than the others. If she wanted to take her frustration out on him, then Hux was okay with that. It was at least somewhat his fault she was in her current position.

“Is that… Kylo Ren?” she asked in a whisper, not taking her eyes off of him.

“Yes,” Hux confirmed. “Think of him as just another former First Order member trying to figure out what he should be doing.”

She turned to look at him and stared at him for a moment before bursting out laughing. It didn’t take too long for her to put her hands over her mouth to help her control it, and she glanced back to Kylo, but he was still sleeping.

“Come on,” Hux said as he walked over to a couple of chairs away from Kylo. “If you want to laugh, do it over here.”

“Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to laugh.”

“It’s fine. I’m sure it’s good for you.” That’s what Dameron would probably say, anyway. He was always trying to get Hux to laugh when he saw him, although that was not very often anymore. Dameron was far too busy trying to transition the Resistance to the Republic military.

“Can I ask why he’s here?” the trooper asked once she sat down.

“That’s what this room is for,” Hux said. “You can come in here and just get away from everyone else for a while if it’s what you need. As much as it may not seem like it, Ren’s human too.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yes. Now, I don’t think you’re here to talk about Ren, although you can if you’d like.”

Fortunately, she did not want to discuss Kylo and Hux was able to get a good reading on her status. She’d made quite a bit of progress, and although she wasn’t quite in a normal state of mind, Hux arranged for her to meet with Finn. She was ready to discuss her future. And that meant one less person that Hux needed to deal with.

Kylo woke up after she’d left and after a few kisses, he went back to work. There was just one more person that Hux had to talk to and then he’d be able to go back to his quarters and sleep or maybe go outside and see Kylo while he worked. Of course, that never worked out well. Anytime he stepped outside, he seemed to pick up at least one guard.

Maybe Kylo would make it a short day and be back in their quarters early. That was what Hux really wanted, as their quarters were the one place they could simply be themselves.

***

When Kylo had first been asked to help build some new structures, he’d been excited. The idea of building something sounded exciting, and he’d thought working with his hands would be fun. He quickly learned that wasn’t what anyone had in mind.

Instead, Kylo simply moved things with the Force and held them in place while the actual construction crew bolted things together. He really couldn’t be too upset - of course they weren’t going to have him build anything. He had no experience doing that and he was far more useful doing what he was doing. Still, he couldn’t help how he felt when he was working. Mostly, he was lonely.

The only time anyone spoke to him was when they were telling him what to do. They barely looked at him, and as far as they were concerned, Kylo was basically a droid. Except he’d seen the rest of the construction crew at least talk to the droids. 

Kylo couldn’t blame them for not wanting to talk to him, but he’d hoped that after a few months, someone might at least acknowledge him besides when they needed him to move a pipe or hold a sheet of metal. He was coming to realize that no one would ever want anything more from him other than his abilities. Except Hux, of course. He was the only one who cared about _him_.

Kylo tried not to think about that too much, as he needed to maintain control of the Force. It would not be a good idea to lose control when he was holding up half a building. As always, by the end of the day, he was more than ready to get back to his quarters and hold Hux. But there always had to be some kind of delay to his plans.

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” Rey asked, stepping in his path before he could get back inside the base.

“My quarters.” He tried to walk around her, but she moved to stay in his way. 

“You don’t need to go back there so soon, do you?”

“Yes. Wouldn’t want to be in anyone’s way.”

“Why do you spend so much time with Armitage?” Rey aked as he finally made it around her. She was following him of course.

“Who else am I supposed to spend time with?”

“I don’t know. Just seems strange that you always seem rushing to spend time with him.”

“Well no one else wants to talk to me.”

“I do.” Rey grabbed his arm, stopping him. “Sometimes I feel like you try to avoid me, but I do care about you and you can talk to me if you want.”

“No,” Kylo said, shaking his head. “You still hope I’ll turn into Ben. It’s not me you care about. You don’t even know me.”

“So give me the chance.”

Kylo wasn’t sure how serious she was, but he quickly decided it didn’t matter. She’d seen what he was like and immediately tried to imagine who he could be instead. She didn’t truly want to see him for who he was.

“I’m doing all I’m asked to help you guys out,” Kylo said. “What else do you want from me?”

“I want to know that this is working for you, Kylo. I want you to be happy here instead of worrying that you’re just one incident away from snapping and running off!”

“How am I supposed to be happy? I spend all day working with people who won’t even acknowledge me and then because no one else around here can stand the sight of me, I spend the rest of my time with Hux! And that’s the best part of my day! At least he understands me!”

“I’m trying to!” Rey shouted. “You keep pushing me away! And you wonder why no one else likes you? It’s because you act like this! Like everyone should just be okay with you because you’re on our side but you’re still being an asshole! As far as anyone else is concerned, you’re only helping because I’m making you! So maybe actually act like a human being for once and people will treat you like one!”

Rey stormed off and Kylo could only stare as she left. He hadn’t expected her to get so angry. At least he was free to return to his quarters, where he hoped Hux would be waiting for him and then he could forget about everything Rey had said to him.

When he opened the door, he saw Hux was sitting on the couch, reading something on his datapad. Hux immediately put it down and stood up. By that time, Kylo had closed the distance between them and threw his arms around Hux, holding him close.

“Is everything all right?” Hux asked.

“No,” Kylo grumbled. He sat down, bringing Hux with him and immediately curled up next to him, his head resting on his shoulder. Once they were settled, Kylo told Hux what had happened with Rey. He hadn’t realized that he was actually upset by the lack of acceptance. He always told himself he didn’t care what anyone else thought, but he really did want people to like him. 

“Well,” Hux said when Kylo was done spilling his feelings all over the place, “we always knew that no one here was ever going to like us. We still have each other though.”

It wasn’t very comforting, but Kylo knew he was right. Of course the Resistance was never going to like him. Rey was his sister and she could barely tolerate him. Why should anyone else want anything to do with him? That’s why Hux was so important, and Kylo found himself clinging tighter to him.

“I know you hate it,” Hux continued, “but if you do want people to be nice to you, then you might need to use that other name. The only way anyone will like either one of us is if we hide our true selves.”

“No,” Kylo said. He’d tried that before and he hated it. He couldn’t go back to that.

“Good,” Hux said, stroking Kylo’s hair. “I wouldn’t want you to do that to yourself. I like you like this. And the best part about no one else wanting you is that you’re all mine.”

Kylo wasn’t sure if that was an insult or not, but it didn’t matter. He wanted to belong to Hux and no one else. Hux had always been the one person who had seen exactly who he was and hadn’t turned away or tried to change him. And more importantly, Hux had been one of the few people who had ever been willing to forgive him. That’s why Kylo knew he could never be separated from Hux. He needed him.

At some point, Kylo must have fallen asleep while resting against Hux’s shoulder, because the next thing he knew, he was woken up by a loud knock at the door. He sat up immediately, not wanting whoever was knocking to suddenly barge in.

“Who is it?” Hux called.

“It’s Rey. Can I come in?”

“Of course,” Hux said, as he scooted a little further away. 

The door opened and Rey gave them a quick look of surprise. Kylo realized they were still sitting very close to each other. Far closer than they should have been given how much room on the couch they weren’t using.

“I think you upset him,” Hux said, standing up and walking towards Rey. “I’m not sure if this will be the best time.”

“I know. That’s why I’m here. Kylo, I wanted to apologize for earlier. I shouldn’t have said those things and I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Kylo said with a shrug. “It’s true, isn’t it?”

“Maybe, but I could have been nicer about it. I would like us to be friends, and I wanted to talk to you about a few things. I really didn’t want to fight with you.”

“You can talk now.”

“Why don’t we get dinner?” Rey suggested. “I know you haven’t eaten yet tonight.”

Kylo almost asked why she was paying so much attention to his habits, but he didn’t really need to ask. She needed to keep track of him and if Kylo brought it up, they’d probably end up fighting again. Kylo was so tired of fighting. It was all he’d done his entire life and he just wanted the fighting to be over.

“Shouldn’t Hux come with us?” Kylo asked. “He hasn’t eaten either.”

“Um, yes, that’s fine. If he wants to. Armitage?”

“I suppose you’re right,” Hux said. “I probably should eat something.”

Kylo smiled, glad it hadn’t been hard to convince Hux to join them. He didn’t really want to be alone with Rey and he also knew that if he was left alone, Hux would likely forget to eat. Kylo couldn’t blame Hux for not wanting to venture to the mess hall on his own, but it didn’t take long to grab a quick something and retreat back to their quarters.

“I hear you’ve been making a lot of progress with the former stormtroopers,” Rey said as they walked.

“I like to think so,” Hux said. “Some of them still have a ways to go, but as long as there’s no rush, they’ll get there eventually.”

“They have all the time they need. It’ll be even nicer when we get the new living quarters built. Do you think that might help the recovery process?”

“That’s hard to say,” Hux answered. “When they first arrive, I think living as a group is helpful and might help them adjust, but after several weeks, living on their own or only a few roommates is probably ideal.”

“Guess you’ll need to work harder to finish your projects, Kylo.”

Did she think he wasn’t already doing everything he could? He would do more but the rest of the crew wouldn’t let him do much more than moving things around. As always, it seemed like his best just wasn’t good enough. Hux put a hand on his arm, but then Rey stopped and looked at them. Hux quickly pulled away.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Rey said. “I know you’re working hard out there. And really, without you, it would take a lot longer to get anything done.”

Kylo didn’t say anything and they eventually continued on, making their way to the mess hall in silence. Every now and then, Hux’s hand brushed against Kylo’s as they walked, and along with holding Hux’s hand with the Force, it was as close as they could get to each other in public.

When they sat down, Kylo pressed his leg against Hux’s, feeling much better even with that small amount of physical contact. Whatever Rey wanted to talk about, he hoped she hurried up so he could be alone with Hux.

“I meant what I said,” Rey said. “I want you to be happy here. Both of you. I know it’s not easy being here, but is there anything we can do to make things better for you?”

Kylo shook his head. How could he be happy among his former enemies? All he wanted anymore was for someone to see who he really was and accept him for that. He had that in Hux, and the only thing he needed was to have more time with him, but he couldn’t tell Rey that.

“It’s hard to be happy when you’re a prisoner,” Hux said.

“You’re not prisoners,” Rey said.

“Aren’t we? So you’re telling me that we’ve been wearing these tracking anklets because they’re a nice fashion accessory and that we’ve been free to leave at any time? That explains why there’s always a guard with me if I step foot outside.”

“Okay, you’re sort of prisoners, but you are free to move around the base as much as you like. We just don’t want you running off and murdering anyone else. And you’re still part of the Resistance too. You’ve both been helping us out quite a bit.”

“Are you sure?” Kylo asked. “Doesn’t feel like we have much of a choice.” Hux nudged him under the table. 

“When we came back, we had thought we would be part of the group,” Hux said. “I know that it sometimes feels like you’re just trying to keep us out of your way. I suppose I can’t fault you for that, however, I really was thinking that we would truly be part of the Resistance. We’re just told what to do and shoved to the side, and to be honest, it’s a waste of our abilities, and it does make it feel more like we’re trapped.”

“I didn’t know you felt this way,” Rey said.

“No one ever asked.”

“I can’t take the anklets off,” she said. “But I’ll talk to Finn and Poe and we’ll figure it out. Actually, maybe we should all talk together. That way we can figure out what you would like to be doing for the Resistance.”

“What if I don’t want to be part of the Resistance?” Kylo muttered.

“Kylo!” Hux kicked him under the table.

“What? Everyone hates me and they’re always going to be afraid of me. I hate it here.” The only reason he hadn’t tried running off was because of Hux. He’d never leave him.

“We can work on that,” Rey said. “I know you think no one will like you, but just open up to people. Stop locking yourself away and maybe people will be less afraid. You know I’ll help, right? Poe and Finn will too.”

“Yeah,” Kylo said with a sigh. It still sounded terrible. As much as he wanted people to like him, he didn’t want to take the time to try to get to know anyone. Why bother when he already had Hux.

“There’s something else, too,” Rey said. “I wasn’t going to mention it yet, but if you really don’t want to work with the Resistance, maybe you’d like to work with the Jedi.”

“Jedi?” Kylo wasn’t aware there was more to the Jedi than just Rey.

“Finn and I have been discussing our training program more and we thought we’d ask if you’d like to help out. There’s areas of the Force that you’re much better in and we also thought the more teachers the better.”

“You want me. To teach. Jedi.” Kylo couldn’t believe what he was hearing. After what he’d done to the last group of Jedi students, why would Rey want him anywhere near another?

“Just a suggestion,” Rey said. “But no matter what, we do want to find something that you’ll be happy doing, okay? But you’re going to have to talk to us.”

Kylo could only nod. He couldn’t imagine he’d be good at teaching. But at the same time, he thought it might be better than what he was doing. Maybe the students wouldn’t know who he was and by the time they figured it out, they wouldn’t be afraid of him.

It was definitely an appealing idea.

***

“I made a mistake.” Rey grabbed Finn and put her arms around him, holding him tight. She just wanted to stay there forever and forget about what she had just done.

“I’m sure it’ll be okay,” Finn said, gently rubbing her back.

“No,” Rey said. She didn’t want to tell him, but she had no choice. He had to know. “I asked Kylo to help us train Jedi.”

“What?” Finn pushed her away slightly, just enough that they could look at each other. “Rey, please tell me you’re joking.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I just said it without thinking. He just seemed so sad and I thought it might help. Where’s Poe? We’re all going to need to talk about this one.”

“What happened?”

“I’m not sure if we’re doing the right thing with Armitage and Kylo.”

“Is everything okay?” Poe asked as he approached them. He immediately put his arms around both Finn and Rey.

“No,” Rey said. “We need to talk.”

She pulled away from her boyfriends and took them by their hands, leading them to a more secluded area. She didn’t need anyone else overhearing anything. Having Armitage and Kylo around was already not a well-liked idea for most of the base, and Rey knew what she was thinking would not go over well, even with Finn and Poe.

“I was talking to Armitage and Kylo,” Rey said. “They’re not happy here.”

“Rey, I know Kylo’s family, but I really don’t care if he’s happy,” Finn said.

“I know. But he said he doesn’t even want to be here and we all know there’s nothing we can do to make him stay and we don’t want him running around on his own. And Armitage I think might actually want to help us and truly be part of the Resistance, but we’re not letting him do anything.”

“So you decided to ask Kylo to help train Jedi?” Finn asked.

“You what? Rey, you can’t be serious. Did you ask Armitage to command a battleship too?”

“I know it was stupid, but he seemed so sad. I think he needs something to do and other people to talk to. And working with us is really his only option. No one else will talk to him besides Armitage and I don’t think that’s good for them.”

“I really don’t want them doing anything,” Finn said.

“Yeah,” Poe agreed. “It’s dangerous.”

“I know, but on the chance that Armitage is serious and that we might manage to keep Kylo here willingly, I think we should give them a chance.”

Finn and Poe were both silent. She knew she was asking a lot. After everything they’d done, Rey knew it wasn’t a good idea to trust them. But there was something different about them, especially Armitage. He’d been fearful when he’d first arrived but his motivations had changed. He wasn’t helping them because he was worried they would do something terrible to him if he didn’t. She hadn’t managed to figure out what his motivations were, but she felt like he deserved a chance.

“I don’t like it,” Poe said, “but you’re right. They are part of the Resistance and maybe we should treat them more like it.”

“We can give them a chance,” Finn said. “But I don’t think we should trust them.”

Rey smiled, glad that Poe and Finn agreed, even if they were reluctant. And maybe the Force had something to do with it, because Rey had a feeling that helping Armitage and Kylo was exactly what they needed to do.


	23. Chapter 23

“Here’s what I don’t understand,” Hux said as they walked outside into the jungle. “Well, I don’t understand why we’re holding this meeting outside, but I doubt I’ll get a straight answer. But Ren, are you and Skywalker siblings or cousins? It’s been months and I still haven’t figured that out.”

“Um.” Kylo looked towards Skywalker and then shrugged.

“That’s not what we came here to talk about,” Dameron said as they stopped in an open area.

“I assumed as much, but I really want to know. Just listening to you talk, it sounds like you’re siblings, but if your name is Skywalker, wouldn’t that make you his cousin?”

“I don’t think you’re ready for the real answer,” Skywalker said as she sat down on the ground. “Not unless you’re ready for a long discussion on the Force, but in a way, we are both siblings and cousins.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Simple version is Leia and Luke both adopted Rey,” Dameron explained. He and Finn sat down next to Skywalker. “So siblings and cousins. Longer answer involves the Force and I don’t think I understand it either. But that’s not really important. Sit down.”

Kylo did as he was asked but Hux hesitated. He didn’t really want to sit in the dirt, but there really wasn’t another option. He could insist on standing, but he really had been trying to make things work with the Resistance. If that meant he had to sit in the dirt to play their games, then so be it.

“We’ve been thinking of ways to make this situation work for you,” Skywalker said. “You were right, Armitage. You’re not exactly free to leave, but we’re not trying to make you feel imprisoned. In a few months, maybe, we can take the trackers off of you.”

“We want to make sure you’re not going to run off on us, though,” Dameron said.

“And how exactly will you determine that?” Hux asked. “Seems to me like you can’t know that until the trackers are off.”

“Maybe not,” Dameron said with a shrug. “But we can at least see if you’re committed to the cause. And we do want to give you that chance.”

“This is your chance to tell us exactly what you’d like to be doing for the Resistance,” Skywalker said. She glanced over at Kylo. “Or if you really don’t want to do anything at all. That’s up to you and we’re not going to make you do anything.”

Hux couldn’t believe they were bothering to ask about such things. The Resistance was already getting everything they wanted from them. He’d known that Dameron was softhearted, and even Skywalker too, but he hadn’t expected them to take it so far. Did they truly care about their feelings?

“Why did we need to have this conversation outside?” Hux asked, mostly because he needed more time to really consider his answer. He also really did want to know, as they easily could have had the conversation inside.

“No one can overhear us,” Skywalker said. “And this is where Finn and I come to meditate. It’s easy to connect with the Force here, I think.”

“I see.” Not that Hux understood why the Force had anything to do with it. But with Force users, the Force always seemed to come up somehow.

“So is there something you two would want to be doing for the Resistance?” Finn asked after a while.

“I don’t mind tracking what’s left of the First Order,” Hux said. Not that it was any kind of major task anymore. “However, I’m probably not the best person to be working with former stormtroopers. I’m not certain my presence isn’t detrimental, not to mention I really am just guessing when it comes to deconditioning.”

“You’ve been doing a pretty good job so far,” Dameron said. “A lot of the former troopers seem to be doing pretty well. Right, Finn?”

“Yeah, they’re doing about as well as I could expect. If you don’t want to help fix that problem, what do you want to do? The Resistance doesn’t need superweapons.”

“Of course not, but that’s not the only thing I’ve designed. I’ve built some of the most efficient ships in the galaxy, and I can design everything from an entire capital ship to starfighters to single systems. Whatever you need, I can make it.”

“I think we can work with that,” Dameron said. “Rebuilding the fleet is one of the top priorities for the Republic.”

“What about you, Kylo?” Skywalker asked. “Is there something you’d rather be doing?”

“Not really,” he muttered. 

Hux stared at Kylo, surprised by that answer. After Skywalker had asked him to help train Jedi, they’d talked about it and Kylo seemed to be interested in it. He wanted to ask what was wrong and why he’d changed his mind, but he couldn’t ask in front of the others.

Hux couldn’t help but worry that Kylo was no longer interested in staying with the Resistance. Maybe Kylo was tired of keeping up the act and behaving himself. Hux thought that what they had was enough to keep them both there, together, but maybe it wasn’t good enough for Kylo. Would the Resistance let him leave? And if they did, would Hux ever see him again?

“So you just want to hang around and do nothing all day?” Dameron asked.

“I’m not good at anything,” Kylo said. “There’s not much I can do.”

“That’s not true,” Hux said, for a brief moment forgetting that he couldn’t let the others know that he and Kylo liked each other. “You’re quite skilled at destroying expensive equipment and screaming at people.”

Kylo looked at him for a moment, and then he gave him a slight smile before shaking his head and looking at the ground. Hux soon felt the Force around his hand and it was hard not to put an arm around Kylo.

“What about helping me and Finn?” Skywalker asked.

“Do you really want my help?” 

“Of course we do.”

“Do you?” Kylo asked, looking at Finn.

Finn didn’t answer right away, but he eventually shook his head. “Honestly, not really. I don’t want to deal with either of you. But Rey wants to give you a chance so I will too. I just want it clear that I’m doing it for her, not because I think it’s possible you might be a decent person.”

Hux couldn’t help but smile at that although he knew that likely went for him as well as Kylo. Finn wasn’t wrong, either. They weren’t decent people and they never would be. But Hux was doing his best to convince them otherwise. Kylo should have been doing the same, and Hux was concerned as to why he was not.

“I really don’t know,” Kylo said. “I’m not fit to train anyone.”

“Well, you have some time to think about it,” Skywalker said. “We’re not ready to start training yet. But even if you’re not sure, you might want to consider coming along with us when we start picking up students. Just to get you off planet for a while.”

“Oh. Yeah. I’ll think about it.”

Hux hoped he did not. As much as he wanted Kylo to have something that made him happy, Hux did not want Kylo leaving him. They hadn’t been apart for more than a few hours in months and Hux wasn’t sure he wanted to go back to the way things used to be. 

“Is there anything we can do to make this work out?” Skywalker asked.

Hux couldn’t help but glance over at Kylo - he was the one thing that he needed. Nothing else mattered. But he couldn’t say that, so he shook his head. “I’m just trying to undo as much damage as I can,” he said.

Kylo remained silent, looking at the ground. Hux really wanted to put his arms around him and hold him. Hopefully they’d have a chance to go to their quarters before they were needed anywhere else.

“You can talk to us, you know,” Skywalker said. “We care about you.”

“At least me and Rey do,” Dameron added. “Finn wouldn’t care if you launched yourselves into the sun.”

“At least you’re honest,” Hux said. It wasn’t as if he wanted to talk to Finn in the first place. Or any of them.

“Before we go,” Skywalker said. “I just wanted to make sure everything is okay with the two of you. I know you haven’t been fighting as much. You’re getting along?”

“As much as can be expected.” That wasn’t even a lie - Skywalker and the others simply didn’t know them well enough to know what to expect. 

“All right. If anything changes or you need space from each other, just let us know.”

Skywalker stood up and Hux quickly followed suit, glad to finally be off the ground. Kylo was still seated and it gave Hux a quick opportunity to have some contact with him. He held out his hand, and for a moment, Kylo only stared. Hux knew the others were watching as well, but he didn’t care about them. 

Kylo eventually took his hand and Hux helped pull him up. For a brief moment, they stood there, still holding hands, but Hux quickly remembered the others and let go of Kylo’s hand. They would definitely need to find some time to themselves, even if all they did was hold hands for a few minutes.

***

Poe pulled up the tracking information on his datapad and Rey soon came to peer over his shoulder. She rested her chin on him and for a moment, they watched the screen. As usual, Armitage and Ren were together.

“Did you get what you wanted from them?” Poe asked.

“Not quite,” she said. “I could sense that they’re hiding something, but whatever it is, I don’t think it’s something bad.”

“I may not have the Force, but I think it has something to do with their friendship.”

“Friendship?” Finn asked from their couch. “You think they’re friends?”

“Yeah,” Poe said. “Makes sense. They’ve been stuck together for so long, I think they must have gotten close. Even their fighting isn’t like it was. It’s more like they’re just keeping up an act.”

“You might have a point,” Rey said, lifting her head from Poe’s shoulder. “That would make sense with what I felt from them. It’s not quite a Force bond, but there is something between them.”

“So if they’re not hiding any plans to destroy the Resistance, what do we do?” Poe asked.

“I think we need to keep an eye on them,” Rey said. “There’s clearly something wrong with Kylo. He seemed almost depressed. If nothing else, we should make sure he’s not totally isolated. Which means we’re going to have to put up with him a bit more.”

“I knew you were going to say that,” Finn said with a sigh.

“You don’t have to,” Rey said. “I know you hate him. Poe and I can keep an eye on him.”

“No,” Finn said, getting up and walking over to Rey. “I don’t like him, but we’re the only ones here who aren’t afraid of him. If I have to talk to him every now and then, fine. And I really do want to believe you’re right when you say he’s not so bad anymore.”

Rey hugged him and Poe quickly got up and wrapped his arms around both of them. He couldn’t help but join in anytime he saw the two of them hugging. For Poe, there was nothing better than when the three of them were together. Those moments were going to become more and more infrequent as Poe was trying to rebuild the Republic and Finn and Rey would be training Jedi.

They had to take every moment together they could.

***

Kylo found himself back helping the construction crews. As much as the work bored him, there was nothing else he could do. Hux was already starting to work on new ship designs, and he seemed happier than Kylo had seen him while with the Resistance. Kylo was happy for him, but he wished he could find something that would do the same for him.

Training Jedi seemed like it might do the trick. Kylo would have liked to do that, but Rey planned on being on board the _Finalizer_ for the training. That meant that he’d be away from Hux, and that was unacceptable to Kylo. Hux was the only thing that made him happy and he wouldn’t let himself be parted from him. Even if he was stuck doing the most boring job for the rest of his life.

He was moving materials for the roof of the building when he felt something unusual in the Force. It was almost like someone - or something - was watching him. He glanced around but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. The rest of the construction crew was around, but as usual, none of them were paying any attention to him.

Kylo moved the materials he was carrying where they needed to go and then focused in on whatever it was watching him. He noticed Finn was approaching the construction site, but that was not who he’d been sensing. Kylo slowly started to move towards the edge of the forest, where two of the workers were currently taking a break.

“Move!” Kylo shouted just as he noticed unusual movement coming from a plant. They didn’t listen, but Kylo had already planned for that and grabbed both of them with the Force and dragged them away. As he did so, some kind of animal leapt from the jungle, landing right where the workers had been.

The animal growled, revealing sharp teeth. It wasn’t too large at least, so Kylo knew that he could take care of it easily. He took his lightsaber from his belt, turning it on and catching the animal’s attention. It growled at him and crouched down, as if it were preparing for an attack.

“Wait! Turn that off!”

Kylo could hear Finn, but he didn’t take his eyes off the animal. If it lunged at him, Kylo would be able to take care of it quickly, but a hand was pushing his lightsaber away and Kylo couldn’t help but glance over at Finn. That small distraction gave Finn enough time to turn the lightsaber off.

“What are you doing?” Kylo growled. The animal could attack at any moment, but at least Finn was between him and it.

“Don’t hurt it!” Finn yelled as he turned his attention to the animal. Finn slowly stepped towards it.

“It was coming after us!” Kylo pointed out.

“No, this is a young one. She’s lost and scared.” As Finn walked towards the creature, it seemed to calm down, even letting Finn put a hand on its back. “I need to find her pack.”

Finn started walking away, his hand still on the creature’s back. For a moment, Kylo was simply going to let him go off on his own, but the more he thought about it, the worse of an idea it seemed. If Finn planned on trying to find a group of the dangerous creatures, he could be in danger. Rey would never forgive him if he let Finn go off on his own and he ended up injured.

As much as Kylo didn’t want to go running through the jungle to find a bunch of animals, he found himself stomping after Finn, keeping his lightsaber at hand. He had no idea what sort of dangers were lurking in the trees.

“What are you doing?” Finn asked.

“Going with you. You might need help.”

“Not from you I don’t.”

That’s about what he expected from Finn. If Finn insisted, maybe he should go back. He could tell Rey that he tried and it wasn’t his fault if Finn didn’t come back. That probably wouldn’t be a good enough explanation for her and Kylo knew she’d be heartbroken if anything happened to Finn, just as he would be if anything happened to Hux.

Kylo continued to follow Finn, and it didn’t take long before he realized it was not likely going to be a quick trip. Finn paused every now and then, almost as if he were listening and then he’d continue on. If Kylo had to guess, Finn was using the Force to find his way. Although what he was trying to find was a mystery.

“How do you know where you’re going?” Kylo asked.

“The Force.”

“I know that,” Kylo said. “What are you looking for? With the Force.”

“Nothing you would understand.”

“Maybe I would.”

Finn didn’t say anything. He wasn’t surprised by that, although he was curious just what Finn was doing. Whatever it was, Kylo was sure he could do it better. At one point, they stopped for a longer period of time than usual and Kylo suspected they might have been lost.

“What are you -”

“Shut up,” Finn hissed. 

Kylo sensed the danger and turned on his lightsaber, ready to confront it before he could even see what it was. But just like before, Finn stopped him, grabbing his arm and trying to turn the lightsaber off, but Kylo didn’t let him, as they were soon confronted by an even larger creature with large horns. Although he couldn’t swing his saber at it with Finn grabbing his arm, he did manage to hold it still with the Force.

“Don’t hurt it!” Finn said.

“If I don’t, it’s going to hurt us!” Kylo growled, trying to pull his saber arm free.

“No,” Finn said. “It’s worried because we’re with a predator. I just need to convince it that we’re not a threat.”

“What are you going to do? Talk to it?” Kylo couldn’t believe he was putting up with the ridiculousness of the situation. It was a wild animal and a threat. Finn should just let him take care of it and they could be on their way. Of course, if Finn had simply let him take care of the initial problem, they would still be at the base.

Finn stared at the new creature, and Kylo could feel the Force moving around him, but it was strange. It wasn’t the way the Force felt in the middle of battle. It was gentle, calming. Soon, the creature turned and walked away, and Finn did the same.

“You sure it’s not going to come after us?” Kylo asked. He reached out with the Force, trying to detect any danger.

“It won’t,” Finn said. “Like I said, it was nervous because our friend here is a predator. It would rather escape than fight so I just made sure that it knew it could do that.”

Kylo had never considered using the Force that way. If he came across something dangerous, he just made sure it wasn’t a problem in the fastest way possible. “Is it like a mind trick?”

“No,” Finn said. “It’s not a trick.”

“Okay, but does it work the same way?”

“Not really. They don’t think the same way. It’s simpler than a mind trick but it’s also more than that. It’s almost like making a bond with the animal for a little bit. Like this one.” Finn lightly stroked the fur of the creature walking next to him. “She thinks I’m family for right now. Her instinct is to follow me, but I’m not controlling her.”

Kylo almost asked Finn if he could teach him how to do that. It seemed like it was a trick that could come in handy. But he didn’t think Finn would want to share such a thing with him. Maybe if Finn learned it from Rey, then she might teach him too.

They didn’t speak until finally, they came across a group of other animals similar to the one at Finn’s side. Most of them were a bit larger and Kylo noticed the one with them had a little bit of a mane. Most of the ones in the group didn’t except for another one near the same size and what Kylo guessed were babies.

The animal ran forward, calling out to the others. There seemed to be a lot of excitement as they moved their tails back and forth and jumped on each other. Kylo couldn’t help but smile a bit at the reunion and he was glad he hadn’t killed the creature. But now they had to walk all the way back to the base.

They were silent as they walked back. Kylo really didn’t have anything to say to Finn and Finn clearly didn’t want to talk to him. Kylo was a little surprised that Finn hadn’t tried killing him out in the middle of the jungle. Finn could say that they got separated and that would be the end of that. Not that Finn could actually defeat him in battle. Maybe that was why he was holding back.

Kylo glanced down at the lightsaber hanging from Finn’s belt, watching to see if there was any sign that he might reach for it. He sensed danger and he stopped walking, immediately drawing his lightsaber. But Finn just turned and faced him.

“What are -”

Kylo didn’t have time to listen. He had to move, and fast. Kylo dropped and rolled to the side, getting back to his feet as soon as he could. When he did, he saw there was some kind of large bug right where he had been. The bug had a long body, tons of spikes and a set of very large fangs.

“Don’t tell me,” Kylo grumbled. “You want to talk to this one too.”

“Yeah,” Finn said, sounding a little nervous. “No reason to kill it if we don’t have to.”

The bug raised itself up and it was taller than Kylo, with plenty of its body still on the ground. Kylo froze it in the Force, not trusting Finn to be able to stop it. At least Kylo was able to get a better look at it, and he looked for potential weak points, as it almost looked like it had armor and Kylo wanted to be prepared in case it was lightsaber-proof.

“It’s hungry,” Finn said. “There’s not much else there. Just hunger.”

“What does that mean? Can you make it go away or not?”

“I can try. Let it go.”

“Are you sure?”

“It can’t walk away if you’re holding it.”

Kylo was still unsure if Finn could convince a giant bug to walk away so he took several steps back. He was almost tempted to put Finn between him and the bug, but if it did attack, Kylo wanted to be ready. Once he had some space between him and the creature, Kylo let it go. It started towards them, but then it started to turn away.

Just as Kylo started to relax, the bug turned back towards them and Kylo brought his lightsaber up. He swung at it, but it was fast, and dodged the attack. It came towards him still, trying to bite him but Kylo jumped away. 

Kylo charged towards it, and at the same time, Finn struck it with his own lightsaber, cutting off several spines. The bug whipped around, its long body hitting Kylo as it moved. He felt like he’d been cut by the spines, but he had no time to check. With the bug distracted, Kylo had a perfect opportunity and he ran his lightsaber through it.

It was still thrashing around, but soon it went still. Kylo looked at Finn, expecting that he wouldn’t be happy that he’d killed it since he seemed to want to keep every last animal in the jungle alive.

“I couldn’t convince it we weren’t food,” Finn said. “Hopefully we don’t run into any more of those.”

“Yeah,” Kylo agreed, looking at his arm where the creature’s spines had cut him. He was bleeding, but it didn’t look too bad. He glanced over and saw Finn was bleeding as well on his upper arm and shoulder.

They headed off again, but it didn’t take long before Finn started to slow down. Kylo thought they might have been lost and Finn was trying to find their way, but then he noticed he stumbled a bit and caught himself on a tree.

“You okay?” Kylo asked. He looked at his wound and saw that it was swollen. He glanced at his own wound and saw that he looked okay. Something was wrong with Finn. “It bit you.”

“Yeah,” Finn said. “Really hurts too.”

“Venom.” Kylo knew that it was important to get Finn back to the base as soon as possible. Not only because he needed treatment, but if he passed out, Kylo wasn’t sure he could get back on his own. It’d be better if Finn didn’t exert himself, but Kylo wasn’t about to carry him. Finn would never let him do that, but he could still help him.

“We got to get you back quick,” Kylo said. He grabbed Finn’s arm and put it over his shoulder. It was slow going as Finn guided tham, and Kylo was starting to worry they wouldn’t get back in time. They were going to need some help.

“Rey,” Kylo called, opening up the link between them. It took him a moment longer than usual to open it, but soon she was standing in front of him.

“What did… what happened?” she asked as Kylo walked towards her. She started walking with him as they went.

“Some creature bit him. It’s venom.”

“Where are you?”

“No idea. Can you… find us?” Kylo tried using their bond to see if he could figure out what direction Rey was, but he couldn’t.

“Not with our bond,” she said. “But I can find Finn. Keep trying to get back, but I’m coming to you.”

Rey vanished and Kylo continued on, but he was practically carrying Finn, who could only weakly give directions. He had no idea how bad the venom was or if Finn was in danger of dying from it. For all he knew, it was just very painful. But Kylo needed to know.

He put Finn down on the ground, reaching out with the Force, trying to get a read on how bad the venom was and if it was actually doing any damage.

“What are you doing?” Finn asked. “The base isn’t far.”

“Making sure you don’t die on me,” Kylo said. He took a deep breath, realizing he was going to need to use abilities he hadn’t used in a very long time. He couldn’t use the anger that had served him so well in the past. Instead, he thought about Hux and how much he cared for him. He could sense the venom running through Finn’s body and he tried to hold it in the Force. It wasn’t like holding a person, but he could slow it down.

“What are you doing?” Finn asked again, but Kylo ignored him. He needed to focus on slowing down the venom until Rey arrived.

“Finn!” Rey came running over, BB-8 rolling at her side. As soon as she reached him, she knelt down next to Finn. “Are you healing him?”

“No,” Kylo said. “Just slowing it down.”

“Right.” Rey reached out, putting her hand on Finn’s shoulder and closing her eyes. Kylo pulled back with the Force as he felt Rey starting to heal him. Soon, Finn was better, even his wound closing up.

“Let’s get back,” Rey said. She helped Finn up, but he still seemed a little unstable. Kylo immediately reached out to grab him, but he pushed him away, leaning on Rey instead. Of course Finn didn’t want anything to do with him now that he had a choice.

“Our bond is weakening,” Rey said as they were on their way back. 

“Is it?” That would explain why it had seemed a bit harder to contact her.

“I think so. It was strongest when we both felt like we had no one else. But I have Finn and Poe and so many other friends now. But I’ve formed bonds with Finn and Poe and that gets stronger every day and I think that’s weakening the one we had.”

“Well that’s good.” Rey had never liked their bond. Kylo hadn’t either, but he’d at least made it work for him. Rey had only ever wanted it to stop.

“Yes. I suppose it is.” She was silent for a few moments, then continued. “But I’m worried for you, Kylo. I don’t want you to feel alone. So I think we should talk more often. Or something.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, only because he didn’t want to continue the conversation. He didn’t need Rey - he had Hux. And that made Kylo wonder if that was part of the reason his bond with Rey was weakening. Rey’s bond with Finn and Poe wasn’t new, so that didn’t make sense that her bond with them would do anything. But maybe Kylo had been forming a bond with Hux as well. 

That thought made Kylo smile. He would be more than happy to replace his bond with Rey with a bond with Hux. They may not be able to see each other the way he could with Rey, but if he could sense Hux no matter where he was, that would be nice.

He tried reaching out to Hux, trying it the same way he would with Rey. He could sense Hux, but he wasn’t sure if it was anything special. Kylo liked to think it was, though. He could break the connection entirely with Rey and be connected to Hux instead. That would be so much better. 

There was only one problem - Rey might realize that Kylo would have needed his own bond to break theirs. And since he was never around anyone else, it wouldn’t be hard to figure out who he’d made the bond with. Hopefully Rey wouldn’t think too hard about it.


	24. Chapter 24

Hux knew that something was wrong when Kylo was late. It wasn’t like him to work late and Hux couldn’t sit around their quarters waiting for him to return. He went out to the construction site and didn’t see any sign of Kylo. He wanted to ask someone where he was, but he knew that no one wanted to talk to him. But then he saw Dameron.

“Is something going on?” Hux asked as he walked over to him. 

“Yeah, you could say that. Finn and Kylo ran off into the jungle and got attacked by something. I don’t really know the details. Rey and BB-8 just ran off to find them.”

Hux’s heart fell. He hated to think that Kylo was alone out there and injured. If he was hurt, would Finn help him? Hux knew that helping others had always been one of Finn’s faults as a stormtrooper, but if he was going to leave anyone behind, it would be Kylo. 

“Should we help them?”

Dameron stared at him for a few moments, then shook his head. “There’s not much we can do. Jungle’s too thick to see through so it’s not like I can fly over and unless you’ve developed some device that can find them, I don’t think you’d be much help either.”

“You’ve got a tracker on Ren, don’t you?”

“Yeah, and unfortunately, it’s signal was lost. I saw that he’d started to wander off and Finn cleared him, and then it just stopped working.”

“The tracker I used to have on him never had such a problem.”

“You used to have a tracker on him?”

“In his belt. You would not believe the amount of times I needed to retrieve him after something went wrong on a mission.”

“I’m not surprised,” Dameron said. “I’d ask you if you could improve our trackers, but I think you might make it so you could take it off whenever you wanted.”

“I suppose it will take a while to convince you I’m committed to the cause,” Hux said. 

“Buddy, it’s going to take a lifetime. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re here and you are definitely helping us. But I don’t know if I’ll ever believe that you _want_ to be here.”

“To be completely honest, I don’t want to be here. I would like to have restored order to the galaxy. Sadly, this is my next best option, and so here I am.” After he spoke, Hux realized he was probably saying too much. He wanted the Resistance to believe he was really one of them. Now, they probably never would. Although it didn’t sound like even Dameron was ready to believe it.

“Well, you know, the Republic could probably use you. They’re not restoring order in the way you had in mind, but maybe you could play a role in the rebuilding. If that’s something you’d be interested in.”

“You want me to help rebuild the Republic?” He was designing ships and weapons systems that he knew would be used by the Republic at some point, but he couldn’t imagine taking any larger role than that. He couldn’t imagine anyone would let him.

“If you want,” Dameron said with a shrug. “Assuming they’ll accept your help. I’d vouch for you at least.”

“Why? You don’t believe I want to be here.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re willing to help.”

Before he could say anything else, BB-8 came rolling out of the jungle and Poe was suddenly more alert. “They’re back,” he said as he took off.

Poe hadn’t even made it to the edge of the jungle when Skywalker and Finn walked out, and Kylo was right behind them. Poe threw his arms around Skywalker and Finn and Hux couldn’t help but run over to Kylo, immediately noticing that he was hurt.

“What happened?” Hux asked, grabbing Kylo’s arm and looking over the wounds. “We need to get you treated.”

“Hux?” Kylo didn’t move, he just looked at him. That’s when Hux realized what he was doing and that they weren’t alone.

“If I don’t take care of you, nobody will,” Hux muttered. He couldn’t think of a decent explanation as to why he should care, but he could worry about that later. He needed to make sure that Kylo’s injuries were as non-life threatening as they appeared at first glance.

“Hey,” Dameron called as Hux started to lead Kylo away. “I can take him to medical. You know. If you don’t want to deal with him.”

“I’ve put up with him this long,” Hux said. “I’d hate to make you suffer.”

“Yeah, well, just think about what I said.”

“What was that about?” Kylo asked quietly as they walked away.

“Nothing,” Hux said. He was going to leave it at that, but he also didn’t want to keep things from Kylo, especially when there was no reason to. “He wants me to help rebuild the Republic.”

“Doing what?”

“I’m not sure.”

“He does remember what you did to the last Republic, doesn’t he?”

“Maybe he’s forgotten. Not that it matters, as I highly doubt anyone will want anything to do with me. I’m sure they’ll take my weapons designs and simply ignore who made them.”

“Can you even imagine? You rebuilding the Republic? Me training Jedi?”

“You know, I wonder if they might have lost their minds just a bit.” Hux could understand Skywalker asking Kylo to help with the Jedi, as he was one of very few people who could train more Jedi. But there had to be much better options for people to help rebuild the Republic.

They made their way to medical and Hux watched as Kylo got cleaned up and had his wound treated, listening to him tell the medic what happened. Hux couldn’t help but worry when he learned the creature was venomous, but the medic seemed unconcerned since Kylo wasn’t showing any symptoms. Once he had some bacta applied and the wounds bandaged up, the medic requested Kylo stay for another hour or two for observation.

After the medic was gone, Hux went and sat on the edge of Kylo’s bed. He couldn’t help but place a hand on his stomach. He slowly moved his hand upward, enjoying the feel of the firm muscle under his hand. Once he’d reached Kylo’s neck, Hux could help but lean over and kiss him. 

“Someone could walk in,” Kylo reminded him when Hux pulled away.

“I know.” Hux kissed him again, then sat up, pulling his hand away. “I was worried about you.”

“I’ve faced worse than a giant bug,” Kylo said.

“I know. I’ve been there. I’ve seen exactly what happens when you fight off local wildlife, and this time, I wasn’t there. I certainly don’t trust Finn to keep you safe.”

“For once, I wasn’t the one who got the worst of it,” Kylo said, looking down at his bandaged arm. 

“I should tell you before I forget,” Hux said. He thought about not mentioning it, but he wanted to give Kylo the chance to be happy. “Your tracker went offline. If you want a chance to escape, now’s the time.”

“And where would I go?”

“Anywhere. I’m sure you could find a place to disappear.”

“Without you?” Kylo grabbed Hux’s hand and held on tightly. “Never.”

Hux couldn’t help but smile. He found that he really liked the idea of being with Kylo for the rest of his life, but he knew that wasn’t likely. “What about when you go off to train Jedi? You’ll have to leave then.”

“No,” Kylo said, shaking his head. “I’m not going to do it. I’m not going anywhere without you.”

“And if I have to leave and go help the Republic? What then?”

“I… I don’t know. I’ll go with you. If I can. Are you actually going to do it?”

“No. Like I said, no one would actually want my help.” He didn’t tell him that he also didn’t want to be away from Kylo. Not even temporarily.

There was a knock on the door and Hux immediately pulled his hand away from Kylo and stood up just as Skywalker walked into the room.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Kylo answered.

“They recommended he be under observation for a few hours in case any signs of envenomation or other complications arise,” Hux said.

“Finn too,” Skywalker said. “They don’t trust that I managed to completely heal him, so they’re watching him too. I can wait with Kylo if you want to leave, Armitage.”

“No,” Hux said, shaking his head. “You should be with Finn. No sense pulling you away from someone you love to be around him.”  


“Why are you volunteering to be around someone you don’t like?”

“Someone’s has to watch over him and sadly, this is something I am quite used to. It really doesn’t bother me to sit here and make sure he doesn’t die.”

“Right.” Skywalker glanced between them, her gaze settling on Kylo. “Thanks for helping Finn, by the way. He doesn’t want to admit it, but I think he’s grateful too.”

Kylo was silent and Skywalker left. Hux sat back down on the bed, resisting the urge to lay down next to Kylo. It was risky enough sitting down when Skywalker could walk in at any moment, but Hux was starting to think it might not matter.

“I think she knows about us,” he said.

“She suspects,” Kylo said. “She said our bond is getting weaker. Thinks it’s because of her bond with Finn and Poe. Which makes sense. But it didn’t start to weaken when she got together with them.”

“When did it start to weaken?” Hux asked.

“I’m not entirely certain. I try not to think about it. But sometime after Pryde. After our relationship started to grow stronger.”

“And you think that’s the reason the bond’s growing weaker,” Hux said. It was easy enough to draw that conclusion. Hux didn’t really understand how the Force worked, but if Kylo was right, it could be a problem. “Do you think she’ll figure it out?”

“Eventually. Probably.”

“Right. Well, I’ll need to make sure they believe I’m one of them. I’m going to fix your tracker and make it more reliable. Since you don’t plan on running off, I hope you don’t mind.”

“They’ll only think you're doing it to keep me trapped,” Kylo said.

“Yes, which should convince them we don’t like each other, but they’ll also have better tracking on me as well. So hopefully that makes them think I do want to be here. Of course, I did tell Dameron I didn’t.”

“That was stupid.”

“Strategic honesty. No one will ever believe we’re actually committed to their cause, but I might be able to convince them I see this as my best option and truly want them to succeed.”

“Hux,” Kylo said, reaching out and taking his hand once more, “you think too much.”

“One of us has too.”

Kylo grinned and Hux couldn’t help but kiss him. They were going to be found out eventually, and Hux found that he didn’t mind the idea of others knowing as much. If Skywalker or someone else walked in while they were kissing, then so be it. Hux was starting to get tired of hiding his relationship. He wasn't about to announce it to the galaxy, but if the others happened to walk in on them kissing or holding hands, Hux didn't think he'd be too upset.

***

Kylo let the medical droid check how his wound had healed. It seemed pointless to him, as he easily could have disposed of the bandages himself and he knew he was perfectly fine. But the medical team had asked very nicely that he come back so they could document the injury better. And he was supposed to be playing nice with the Resistance.

“Everything seems to have healed perfectly,” the droid declared after a few moments. “There is no trace of any infection.”

“I could have told you that.” Kylo got up and walked away before the medical staff could make some other ridiculous request of him. He didn’t get very far when he ran into Rey. He frowned at her.

“Your arm looks good,” she said.

“What do you want?” he asked with a sigh. He didn’t think it was just a chance meeting. She must have planned it.

“Finn, Poe, and I were thinking that you and Armitage might like to watch some holovids with us tonight,” she said. “Thought you two might like to do something besides sit in your quarters and argue with each other.”

“Who says we’re arguing?”

“What else would the two of you be doing in there for so long?”

“Pretending the other doesn’t exist. We even drew a line down the middle of the room.”

“It still sounds like you could use some time with other people,” Rey said. “You don’t have to invite him if you don’t want, but you should come. We’re going to be in the lounge next to the mess hall at 2100, okay?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Do more than think about it. If you don’t come, I just might drag you there myself.”

Kylo suspected that it wasn’t just an empty threat. One way or another, he would have to spend time with her and her friends. It wouldn’t be so bad, but Kylo knew he and Hux would have to pretend to not like each other. He didn’t think he’d mind being around the others if he could hold and kiss Hux in front of them. 

He’d already finished working for the day, but there was still another hour before Hux would be done. Or at least, he had another hour of work scheduled. Now that he was doing something he truly enjoyed, he sometimes worked late into the night. But Kylo needed to make sure he left on schedule.

As expected, Hux was working on one of his starfighter designs, although it was an X-wing and not a TIE. Hux didn’t even look at him when he walked in, and Kylo was silent, not wanting to disturb him. Instead, he sat down and watched Hux, enjoying simply watching him work. Kylo loved the way his brow furrowed in concentration or the way he suddenly lit up when he solved a problem.

“How’s the arm?” Hux asked after a while, finally looking away from the X-wing plans.

“It’s fine.”

“Good. I’ll probably be a little late tonight. I think I can finish this project and then tomorrow I can start the improved turbolasers for the capital ships.”

“You can’t stay late tonight,” Kylo said. “Rey’s making us watch holovids with her.”

“Making us?”

“That’s what she said.”

“When?”

“At 2100.”

“Then I have plenty of time to finish this.”

“No,” Kylo said. “Because we can’t touch each other around them. So we need to do that first.”

“I think you have something more than just touching each other in mind,” Hux said. He looked back at his plans and then sighed as he started turning things off. “Fine. I suppose leaving a bit early wouldn’t hurt. But just this once, Kylo. I will not be making a habit of it.”

Kylo grinned and had to resist the urge to pick Hux up and carry him back to their quarters. They made their way back as quick as they could while remaining inconspicuous, and as soon as the door was closed behind them, Kylo had his arms around Hux. 

Hux was just as enthusiastic, wrapping his arms around Kylo’s neck. Kylo slid his hands down, grabbing his ass and Hux soon lifted a leg, putting it around Kylo. That was enough invitation for Kylo to pick him up and carry him over to the bed. 

He put him down gently and was careful not to climb too much on top of Hux. Things had been going well between them and Kylo knew that Hux wasn’t quite comfortable when he was completely on top of him - Hux hated to feel trapped. Kylo was always very careful to make sure he never did anything that would make Hux uncomfortable.

“We have three hours,” Hux said, taking a break from kissing him. “We can either have a very nice, slow session or we fuck as quick as possible, nap, and then fuck again before we have to clean up.”

“Both,” Kylo said. “I want both.”

“We don’t have time for that,” Hux said, stroking the side of his face. “We can go for the slow method and then once Skywalker’s done with us, we can go again. Is that okay?”

Kylo answered by kissing him again. He really didn’t have too many preferences about how they had sex - he just wanted to be with Hux in any way he could. As usual, Kylo let Hux take the lead, making sure that he was all right with anything Kylo decided to do.

They slowly undressed each other, kissing each other the entire time. Kylo made sure that he kissed everywhere on Hux’s body, as he loved every bit of him. Eventually, Hux maneuvered Kylo so he was laying down on the bed and then climbed on top of him, leaning down to kiss him once again.

Even if that was all Hux wanted, Kylo would be happy with that. As long as Kylo could have his arms around Hux, he didn’t care what else was happening. He just wanted Hux. 

As promised, Hux made sure they took their time, and by the end, Kylo was a shaking mess and all he could do was tuck himself against Hux’s chest and let himself be held. Hux continued to kiss him softly and even after he’d settled down, he still held on, stroking his hair and telling him just how good he was.

“We’d better get cleaned up,” Hux said after a while. He moved slightly, but still held onto Kylo.

“Or we can just stay here,” Kylo suggested.

“I’d prefer that too, but you said Skywalker was going to come looking for us, and I think it’s best if she doesn’t find us like this.”

“I know, but I don’t want to leave,” Kylo said. “We spend too much time apart as it is.”

“At least we can shower together,” Hux said, finally pulling away from him, but not completely. He kept one hand on him as they went to the refresher and they touched each other as much as they could while getting cleaned up.

It was going to be a miserable night not being able to hold each other, but Kylo knew that it would all be worth it at the end when he would get to be with Hux once again.

***

Rey hadn’t meant to fall asleep watching holovids, but at least she wasn’t the only one. She'd fallen asleep with her head on Poe’s shoulder and Finn’s head was resting on the side of her stomach, an arm draped across both her and Poe. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but knowing that she was with Poe and Finn was enough for her to not move.

The holovid was still playing, and Rey used the Force to shut it off. She knew that she should wake Finn and Poe so they could return to their quarters, where they’d be far more comfortable in bed, but it was kind of nice laying between them.

Although she hadn’t moved, Finn woke up shortly after she did, lifting his head slightly, but then settled back down. She moved a hand so she could touch the side of Finn’s face and he turned so he could kiss her hand. 

“Hey,” she whispered. “Think we can carry Poe back to our quarters without waking him?”

“Guess we won’t know until we try.”

Finn sat up, giving Rey a quick kiss before he stood up. Rey was careful as she moved, but Poe didn’t stir. She glanced around the room but it looked like someone else had already cleaned up the leftover snacks. 

Rey gently got her arms under Poe and then lifted him into her arms. He stirred a little, but didn’t open his eyes, he simply pressed his face against her. Once she had him securely in her arms, she carried him out of the room, Finn opening the doors for her. Poe remained asleep until they were back in their quarters and Rey put him down on the bed.

“Let’s get his boots off,” Rey said, pulling her arms away, but she didn’t get very far - Poe reached out and grabbed her arm, keeping her close by.

“Stay here,” he muttered. “Or pick me up again.”

“Were you awake the whole time?”

“Most of it.”

“I can’t believe you! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“It’s kinda nice being carried,” he said.

“Well, you just have to ask,” Rey said, leaning down and kissing him. “I can pick you up whenever you like. But now that you’re awake, you can take your own boots off.”

Rey took her own boots off and then started taking the rest of her clothes off. Finn was doing the same, but Poe stopped after removing his boots.

“I fell asleep pretty early,” Poe said. “How’d everything go with our friends?”

“Not good,” Rey said, shaking her head, but she didn’t want to think about her mostly failed plan to see if she could get Kylo and Armitage to act like normal people for once. It had been a first attempt, and Rey suspected they’d need to try a few more times before they figured out how to interact with people. They had barely spoken to anyone else that was there and bickered over every little thing. 

“Guess we’ll have to try again,” Poe said. “And maybe I can stay awake.”

“That would be a good idea,” Finn said as he got into bed. “They’d probably talk to you.”

“We’ll just worry about that next time,” Rey said. She pulled Finn into her arms and leaned against Poe. The night hadn’t gone as well as expected, but as long as she ended up in bed with Poe and Finn at the end of the night, she really couldn’t complain.


	25. Chapter 25

It was nice to be able to step outside and not feel like his every move was under scrutiny. Hux was fairly certain that someone was still watching him, but whoever it was at least wasn’t obvious about it. Hux felt more free to just take a walk outside, and if he always happened to walk over to wherever Kylo was working, he could always say it was the most exciting thing to watch. And he knew it would be best to steer clear of any ships. He wouldn’t want anyone thinking that he might steal another one.

Not that he’d get too far with his tracking anklet. As promised, he’d improved the system so the Resistance would always know where he and Kylo were. That thought didn’t bother him nearly as much as it would have only months ago. After everything he’d done in his life, the Resistance was treating him well, and since he was still with Kylo, Hux couldn’t really complain.

There were many things he’d wanted from his life, and learning that he’d dedicated his entire life to an organization that was just a front for some dead Sith had been devastating, but at the same time, it had been a good thing. He was no longer concerned with trying to outdo his competition and get promoted or worrying as much about who might be trying to kill him. Instead, he filled his days working on designs for ships, which was the one thing that he’d always loved. And he had Kylo too.

He watched as Kylo used the Force to put things into place. Nothing much had changed for Kylo, and although he complained about the work he was doing, he still did it willingly. He just liked to complain, Hux thought. Maybe he really did care that almost no one else on the base would talk to him, but at the end of the day, he had Hux.

As always, whichever one finished their work for the day went to wait for the other and as soon as Hux saw Kylo coming towards him, he turned and started walking back inside. They’d have dinner together and then spend the rest of the night in their quarters unless Skywalker or Dameron decided to bother them

Every now and then, those two would insist they join in some group activity. Hux appreciated that they made an effort to include them, but it was unnecessary and pointless - neither of them would ever have friends among the Resistance. 

“That’s a new project,” Hux said as Kylo caught up to him. 

“Yeah. I don’t even know what it is. They don’t tell me much.”

“I suppose you don’t really need to know. You just need to put things in the right spot.”

“The opposite of what you do. You know every detail but you’ll never see what you’re designing.”

“Rather unfortunate, isn’t it?”

“Do you think they’ll ever trust us more?”

“The Resistance?” Hux could have laughed. “No. I think we’re stuck here for the time being. It’ll be years, I think, before they consider taking the anklets off. Of course, I’m sure we could fight our way out if we wanted, but it seems pointless.”

“What does?” They’d made it into the mess hall, which was a bit more crowded than usual. Not that it mattered. Kylo simply used the Force to grab them some food and then they moved to the least crowded area of the room to sit.

“Leaving. To be honest, I don’t know what I’d do on my own. At least here, I can design things and they feed us and provide for all our other needs. It really isn’t that bad.”

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing,” Kylo said with a grin. “You actually like it here, don’t you?”

“I don’t like it,” Hux argued. “However, it beats the alternative.”

“You really think so? We could be living our own lives. Do whatever we want.”

“Yes, but I think finding work would be rather difficult given our pasts, meaning we’d be relying on your criminal skills. And of course, we’d always have to look out for Skywalker and her Jedi. To tell you the truth, Kylo, I don’t know what else I would want to do. For now at least, this is good enough.”

Kylo smiled and Hux felt a light brush of the Force on his hand. He smiled back and gave Kylo a slight nod and he soon felt the Force wrapped around him.

“Then it’s good enough for me too.”

As soon as they had finished eating, they went back to their quarters. Kylo sat down on the couch and Hux sat next to him. Because he didn’t feel responsible for the success of the Resistance - and he didn’t care about the cause - Hux didn’t feel obligated to continue working until he went to bed. Instead, he read a book. One that was just for fun, which was a new concept for him, but he’d come across several books on his datapad while looking through the entertainment options. 

While he read, he noticed Kylo playing with his lightsaber. At first, Hux thought he was practicing handling skills, but soon, he saw that Kylo was taking it apart. Whenever he glanced over, he thought Kylo looked upset about something, but he didn’t say anything. Thinking it was something he just didn’t want to talk about, Hux put a hand on Kylo’s leg. 

Kylo still didn’t say anything. He just sat there, his kyber crystal in hand. Hux had no idea what he was doing, although he was certain it was some Force-related thing. Whatever it was, he seemed to be concentrating on the crystal until finally, he dropped it back on the table with a defeated sigh.

“Is something wrong?” Hux asked, putting his datapad down.

“No,” Kylo said, shaking his head. Then, he sighed and put his head on Hux’s shoulder. Without thinking about it, Hux put an arm around him. “I wanted to try to heal the crystal. Undo the process that made it red.”

“I didn’t know you could do that.” Hux glanced at the crystal. He’d assumed it had always been red.

“It should work. In theory. I know how. But I can’t do it.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No,” Kylo said. “It’s me. I need to be more in touch with the light side. I think.”

“Ah. I see.” Hux really didn’t understand any of the dark side and light side nonsense that Kylo and Skywalker were always going on about. All he knew was that they could both use the Force and nothing else really seemed to matter.

“How about a distraction, then?” Hux asked, running a hand through Kylo’s hair. He then moved his hand to Kylo’s cheek, lightly caressing him before his thumb came to rest on his lips. Kylo looked up at him and Hux couldn’t help but smile.

Even after being together for months, Hux couldn’t believe that Kylo was cuddled up against him. He was one of the most powerful Force wielders in the galaxy, yet he was curled up with Hux like some kind of overgrown feline. Hux couldn’t help but lean down to capture Kylo’s lips in a kiss.

Kylo eagerly returned the kiss and laid down on the couch, pulling Hux on top of him. Ever since Hux had let Kylo know about his fears in their relationship, Kylo had been very good about respecting his boundaries and never pushing him. Hux was pleasantly surprised by that, as he’d expected Kylo to at least complain about wanting to do things that made Hux uncomfortable. 

Hux pulled away from him, wanting to look at him for just a moment. Although nothing had changed about his appearance since the days that Hux hated him, it felt like he was looking at a completely different person. No longer was he looking at the face of a man he wanted to suffer and die in the most horrible of ways. Instead, he saw someone that he cared about more than he’d ever cared about another person. Someone he never wanted to be apart from. Someone he trusted.

He didn’t know when he’d really started to trust Kylo, but he knew that he could. That fear that Kylo would one day hurt him was still there, but it was so diminished that it didn’t matter. It was the old Kylo that Hux couldn’t trust. The one underneath him truly was a different person. Kylo wouldn’t hurt him. Hux knew that if it came down to it, Kylo would protect him.

“I want to try something different,” Hux said. He sat up, but he grabbed Kylo’s shirt and pulled him along with him. Then, he laid down, dragging Kylo on top of him. It had been a long time since Hux had been comfortable with Kylo on top of him like that, but he found it comforting now.

“Hux?” Kylo asked, concern written over his face.

“Like I said. Something different.” Hux gave Kylo a quick kiss, but had to pull back to give him proper instructions. “Sex, shower, then I want to lay in bed with you wrapped around me.”

“Are you sure?” Kylo asked. 

“I’d like to try it.” Letting Kylo hold him had been another thing that had made Hux feel trapped before, but he thought he was ready for it. How he longed to have those strong arms holding onto him as he fell asleep. And if he did start to panic, he wasn’t worried - Kylo would let go of him and do whatever he needed to do to make things right.

Hux could trust Kylo.

***

Things with Hux were better than ever. Kylo could feel that in the Force, but even more than that, he was acting different. He was more trusting, even to the point that he let Kylo start to take more control while having sex, which was something that Kylo hadn’t expected from him. Kylo was perfectly happy to continue to let Hux remain in control, but he was unbelievably happy that Hux truly _trusted_ him.

After everything he’d done, Hux had still learned to trust him. It had brought tears to his eyes nearly every time he thought about it. At least it wasn’t unusual for Kylo to cry a little while having sex or even just a really intense cuddle session. Kylo still found himself overwhelmed sometimes.

More than ever, Kylo wanted to spend every possible moment with Hux. Instead, he found himself with Finn and Rey as they planned out how their Jedi training program would work and searched for Force-sensitive individuals they could train.

“Kylo?”

Kylo’s attention was pulled from his thoughts about Hux and he looked at Rey, who seemed to be a little worried. Realizing he had tears in his eyes, he quickly wiped them away. 

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah.”

“This isn’t upsetting you at all, is it?”

“Why would it upset me?”

“I don’t know, but if it is, you can tell me.”

“I don’t even know what you two are talking about,” Kylo admitted. “I was thinking about… things.”

“I told you he wasn’t going to be good at this,” Finn muttered.

Rey put a hand on Finn’s shoulder, and they touched foreheads briefly. Before letting go of him, Rey gave him a quick kiss and then she stood up. “Come on, Kylo. We’re going for a walk.”

Kylo really didn’t want to go, but he had the feeling it wasn’t optional. With a sigh, he stood and followed her and they headed outside.

“Is there anything you want to talk about?” she asked.

“No.”

“So you only talk about things with Armitage, then?”

“What makes you think I talk to him?”

“Kylo, I can feel in the Force that you don’t hate him. He walks into a room and I can feel the change in you. Even just mentioning his name. You’re protective.”

“So what?”

“I don’t know,” Rey said with a shrug. “But if there’s anything you want to talk about, we can. If you don’t want to talk about Armitage, why don’t we talk about this Jedi training thing. You’ve been very quiet about it and I suppose that’s because you haven’t been paying attention.”

“I don’t have anything to add. You want me to teach some kids to use the Force, then fine. But I don’t know anything about… well, anything.” Kylo didn’t really know what they had been discussing, but he was fairly certain he didn’t know anything useful.

“You’re the only one who had formal Jedi training,” Rey reminded him. “We really would like to know what worked and what didn’t.”

Kylo didn’t really like to think about that time. Of course, he hadn’t hated it at first. It had been fun spending time with his uncle and running around the galaxy, but Snoke had other ideas. And Luke had sensed that darkness in him, although it hadn’t just been Snoke’s doing - he had that darkness all on his own. Snoke just nurtured it to the point that Luke couldn’t ignore it.

Of course, Luke was now gone and Rey didn’t seem to want to kill him. That was an improvement. Finn might have other ideas but Kylo didn’t think he would try anything.

“You know I can feel that, right?” Rey asked.

“Feel what?”

“You just got really sad. I know you don’t like talking about things, but I’d like to know. Maybe I can help.”

“I don’t think you’d want to.”

“I’ve been trying to help you ever since I realized you were more than just a monster. You’re the one who keeps rejecting the help.”

Kylo knew that was true. It was easier to keep things to himself, but if Rey really wanted to know more about him, there was no reason to push her away. Besides, she never stopped trying and it was kind of nice that she seemed to care so much. He didn’t know how much she would care about him if she knew more about him, but she was the one insisting.

“Here,” he said, holding out his hand. “It’s easier if I show you.”

Rey looked at his hand with a frown but she slowly reached out and took it. Kylo then showed her what it was that had just made him sad. He hadn’t really thought about Tai in a long time, but anytime he thought about Luke or the Jedi Temple, he couldn’t help but think about Tai just a little. He showed Rey his memories of his friend, how he’d been uncertain about his path and how for just a moment, he’d truly considered leaving the Knights of Ren and Snoke and going with Tai.

He also showed Rey Tai’s death and how he’d avenged him, but that he knew then he could never go back. Tai had been the only one who might have stopped him before he became Kylo Ren. He’d killed another of his former classmates shortly after, feeling no remorse. Although now, he did. 

He hadn’t been as close with Voe - and he hadn’t even remembered her name until now - but he truly wished he hadn’t killed her. Of course, hers was far from the only death he regretted. Although he hadn’t directly killed them, he knew his mother and uncle had died to stop him. But at least he could still feel them in the Force. It was his father’s death he regretted the most. If he could only take back one thing, that would be it.

Rey yanked her hand back and for just a moment, she was looking at him just like she had on Starkiller - full or rage and ready to kill. But it faded and she threw her arms around him. Kylo backed away, but Rey held onto him for a few moments longer before finally letting him go.

“I should have known,” Rey said. “Of course your memories are filled with pain. I wish there was something more I could do, but you know you’re not alone now, right?”

“Yeah, I know.” He still had Hux. Kylo thought he’d always have Hux, although thinking about everyone else he’d lost, he wished he’d had more. 

“Kylo. Have you tried talking to mom?”

“I don’t think she wants to,” he said, shaking his head. And why would she? He was the one responsible for destroying everything in her life. And he hadn’t even felt bad about it. 

“Of course she does,” Rey assured him. “She loves you.”

“No. She did. Not anymore.”

“She does. I know as well as anyone all the horrible things you’ve done. I still hate you for what you did to Han. And me and Finn and Poe. There are times that I hate you and wish I had let you die on those ruins because it’s what you deserved.”

Kylo was shocked to hear Rey talk like that. She’d been the one who’d been trying to be nice to him since he came to the Resistance. He really wasn’t surprised to learn it had all been an act. Of course Rey hated him. Then, she took his hand.

“But the thing is, you’re also trying. Sometimes. Your personality leaves a lot to be desired but you’re different than who you were when you first came here. And compared to the monster on Starkiller, you’re unrecognizable. So I do hate you still sometimes, but I’m also a Jedi. That hate won’t control me and instead, I’m going to choose to love you and give you a second chance. Or fourth chance, or whatever.”

“Why? I don’t deserve it.” Kylo pulled his hand away from her. He didn’t want her to be nice to him. It was easier when she was saying she hated him. He knew how to be hated, but he wasn’t sure what to do with love.

“I know, but you’re getting it anyway. You’re my brother, and I do love you. I want us to be a family. You, me, Finn, Poe and even Armitage.”

“Hux? Why him?” He knew Rey sort of got along with him but he was surprised that she would consider him family. Of course, Kylo was surprised that he was family to her too.

“Because he’s your friend,” Rey said. “And it seems like he’s really the only one you’ve had in a very long time.”

Kylo sighed, not seeing much point denying it. He knew she hadn’t seen anything about him in his memories, but there was only so much he could hide from her. He hated hiding their relationship anyway.

“We should go back in,” Rey said after a while. “But I really would like your input on training. Or anything at all. Just talk to us, okay? Doesn’t matter about what. Or if you have things you can’t talk about, just let me know and you can show me whatever it is you need, okay?”

Kylo nodded. He was surprised that Rey still cared, but she was at least being honest with him for what felt like the first time. And he had felt better after showing her his memories. He hadn’t even realized that it had been a problem, but letting Rey know about Tai and Voe and even how he felt about Han made him feel much better. He even managed to give her a small smile as they headed back inside.

***

Rey was nearly bouncing off the walls. Finn could feel the energy in her body and if he wasn’t physically holding her as she typed out a mission briefing, he thought that she just might literally do that. He watched as she typed out the itinerary and then sent it. Immediately after doing that, she jumped up, turning and kissing Finn.

“It’s actually happening!” she said, nearly jumping up and down. “Our first group of students!”

“Don’t forget it’s got to get approval from the Republic,” Poe said from their bed. Rey glared at him, but Poe just grinned as he picked up his datapad. A few seconds later, Rey’s datapad chimed. “There. Done.”

Rey pulled away from Finn and bounced over to the bed to give Poe a quick kiss. Almost as soon as she had gotten there, she was standing up again. Although she was almost always energetic, Finn knew that she was even more charged than usual, but it was nothing an intense sparring match followed by time in bed with Poe wouldn’t solve.

Finn pulled her against him, kissing her, but before he could suggest his idea for getting rid of her excessive energy, she’d moved away.

“Let’s go tell Kylo!” she said, running for the door without bothering to wait for a reply. Finn really didn’t think that Ren would share her enthusiasm, although he had helped come up with their plan. A little. 

As much as Finn didn’t want to see Ren, he knew there was nothing he could do about the situation. He - and Hux - were already assigned to the mission and he’d just have to get used to them being around. The only thing complaining about them might do was kill some of Rey’s excitement, and that was the last thing Finn wanted to do.

Finn followed Rey out of their quarters and he was happy to see that Poe was following them as well. Of course, he noticed that Poe hadn’t bothered to put his boots on, but at least the halls were mostly empty. It was late enough that most people were starting to settle in for the night.

Rey knocked on Ren’s door, still nearly vibrating with excitement. Somehow, Finn got the feeling she wouldn’t be sleeping that night, and it was very possible that he and Poe wouldn’t either. But before Finn could think about that, they needed to tell Ren the news.

There was no answer and Rey knocked again. Still, no one said anything. That was unusual, as Ren and Hux had always answered immediately, either telling them they could come in or at least telling them they would answer the door in a moment. 

“Maybe they’re asleep,” Finn suggested.

“It’s too early,” Rey said. “They’re probably not paying attention.”

She waved her hand over the door, opening it and although Rey was mostly blocking the view, Finn could feel her surprise in the Force. When she moved to close the door, Finn got a very good look at the last thing he ever thought he’d see.

Ren was half-sitting, half-laying on the couch and Hux was sitting between his legs with his head on Ren’s chest with Ren’s arms wrapped around him. Both of them were asleep, looking more peaceful than Finn had ever imagined them capable of being.

No one spoke once the door was closed. Rey turned to look at Finn and Poe and then she burst out laughing. Poe joined in and Finn couldn’t help himself. There was something a little funny about the situation. He imagined that they’d somehow accidentally ended up like that, which made it even funnier, although Finn was fairly certain that it wasn’t accidental.

“I guess we have proof that they actually like each other,” Poe said once he stopped laughing. “Not that we really needed it.”

“That explains what I’ve felt between them in the Force,” Rey said. “Although speaking of the Force, I think I have some energy to work out. Finn?”

Rey held out her hand and Finn took it. She seemed to have the same idea that he’d had earlier. “Want to come?” he asked Poe.

“You two go ahead,” he said. “I’m going to take a nap before you two need me. Try to at least wear her out a little, though, okay?”

“Your nap is probably all the sleep you’re going to get,” Finn warned.

Poe grinned. “I know.”


	26. Chapter 26

Hux hadn’t been sure what to think when Dameron said he had a surprise for him. He could only imagine that it was something terrible. Maybe Dameron thought it was a good thing, as he didn’t seem like the type who would refer to something like an impending execution as a surprise. Still, when Hux went to meet with him, he was unsure of what to expect.

“Hugs!” Dameron said cheerfully. He had a grin on his face but that wasn’t enough to put Hux at ease. He still has no idea what Dameron was planning. “I guess you finally get your chance to prove yourself.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I guess you’ve been doing that all along,” Dameron said. “All the work you’ve been doing has been a real help, so it’s finally time we trust you. Although after your redesign of the trackers, I imagine you had a way to take them off whenever you wanted.”

“Of course not,” Hux said. “The only thing I changed was the tracker itself, not the locking mechanism.”

“You know what, Hugs? I’m gonna believe you because after today, it doesn’t really matter. Sit down and put your foot up.”

Hux didn’t move. Dameron couldn’t seriously be talking about what it sounded like. It had only been a little over a year since he’d killed Pryde and about six months since he’d been wearing the tracking anklet. He assumed it’d be at least another year before the Resistance would even consider taking it off. Especially since he had an off world mission coming up.

“If you really like it, I guess you can keep it on, but I’m sure we could find you some nice jewelry or something instead.”

Hux finally did as Dameron asked and sat down, lifting his foot. Even though he knew what Dameron was doing, he was still surprised when he unlocked the anklet.

“There you go,” Dameron said. “We figured that once you were off world, the tracker would just be sending constant alerts, so it’s as good a time as any to take it off.”

“Yes.” That made sense - the system was constantly reporting his movements and making sure he didn’t go anywhere he wasn’t supposed to be. When he left the planet, it would likely continuously go off, even if it was marked as an authorized movement. At least, that was what happened when Kylo went off into the jungle for Jedi training with Skywalker and Finn.

“You know I could make a passive tracker like I used to have on Ren,” Hux mentioned. “You just turn it on remotely if you need to find me.”

“Really? You really want us to keep tracking you?”

“I don’t mind,” Hux said, and he actually meant it. He really wasn’t sure where else he would even go. As much as the Resistance personnel annoyed him, Ajan Kloss had started to feel like home. It was the longest he’d lived off a starship since he was a child.

“Well, if you really want one, we can talk about that after you get back. Better let you finish preparations for the mission.”

“Yes, about that. I’m not clear on what exactly I’ll be doing on this mission. I’m not entirely sure what to bring and there’s been no briefing.”

“Yeah, well, it’s Jedi business, so you’d have to ask Rey. Or Kylo. He didn’t tell you anything?”

“I’m not sure why you would think he would tell me anything at all.”

“Hugs, we’ve known for a while now there’s something going on with the two of you. Whatever it is, Rey and Finn can feel it in the Force. And it’s so obvious, I can see it. I don’t know why you two pretend to hate each other, but we know you’re friends. Or something like that.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Hux said. As much as Hux told himself he didn’t care if the others knew about their relationship, he still couldn’t manage to bring himself to admit to it, even if he did want to. 

“What’s ridiculous is that you want me to believe that you spend nearly all your time with someone you hate. And don’t give me that nonsense that he’s the only one on here that’ll talk to you. I know there’s a handful of technicians who you’re pretty friendly with.”

“That’s true, but Ren and I have… shared experiences. There’s things that no one else can understand. We’re not friends, but he does know me better than anyone else possibly could.”

“Okay. But that’s the old you he knows. If you really don’t want to be around him, you can always let people get to know the person you are now. Or you can keep hanging around Kylo, which I think is what you really want. It’s okay to admit to having a friend, you know. Even if I would question your choice of a friend.”

“He’s not my friend, Dameron.” Hux couldn’t admit the truth. There really was no reason to deny it, as Dameron clearly knew what was going on, but actually saying it out loud was too much for Hux. He couldn’t say that he liked Kylo.

“Yeah, and that’s why he pushed so hard to get you on this mission.”

“He did what?” Of course, Hux knew all about that, but he had decided that he would pretend to know nothing about it. When he’d first been told he’d be going on the mission, he’d pretended to be surprised. And there was no reason he would have known it was Kylo’s idea if they weren’t friends.

“I can almost believe you,” Dameron said. “I’m sure Kylo will make sure you have everything you need for your mission, but you can go play dumb with Rey too if you want.”

“She seems like she’s less likely to believe the most ridiculous stories,” Hux said, standing up. “Maybe I will go ask her.”

Hux left, but he had no intention of bothering Skywalker. He knew the only reason he was going on the mission was so he and Kylo didn’t need to separate. The mission was only scheduled for a week, but that still seemed like too long to be without Kylo, and Hux suspected any mission with Kylo and Skywalker had a fairly high chance of running into complications.

When he made it back to his quarters, he found Kylo was still in bed. Of course he was. He’d taken a few days off from working on the base and although he went out with Skywalker and Finn for Jedi business, he spent most of his time in their quarters, and usually without any clothes on. Hux really could get used to him like that.

Hux sat down next to him, greeting him with a kiss. Kylo put his arms around him and pulled him onto the bed. Although he hadn’t planned on more than a quick kiss, he let himself relax against Kylo. Once they left, it might be hard to find a private moment, and Hux knew he needed to take what he could get.

Or maybe they really did need to consider telling the truth. 

“They’ve figured us out,” Hux said as Kylo started to kiss down his neck.

“Who?”

“Dameron and the others. He says they know we’re friends.”

“Hux,” Kylo said, pulling away from him with a frown on his face. “Why are you bringing this up now? I don’t want to talk about them.”

“Because I’m starting to wonder if we should be more open about our relationship.” Hux sat up, but left a hand on Kylo’s stomach. “I know I’ve said I don’t care about keeping it secret, but I don’t know how to admit it.”

“Why now?” Kylo ran a hand up Hux’s arm.

“It means we wouldn’t have to hide while we’re away,” Hux said. “We could kiss and touch each other and anything else we wanted and we wouldn’t have to worry about being caught. We could be ourselves.”

“I thought the entire point of staying with the Resistance was to not be ourselves,” Kylo said.

“You know what I mean.” Kylo’s arm had snaked behind him and Hux laid down on top of him. “I don’t want to hide this anymore.”

“And if they use it against us?”

“I’m not sure they would,” Hux said. After spending so much time with the Resistance, Hux had a hard time imagining that they would separate them as a punishment. In fact, Hux thought that they might even consider locking them up together if they ever decided to imprison them. Still, as much as he told himself he didn’t care if others knew, it was still a concern. “But maybe you’re right. Perhaps we should only confirm what they know.”

“Do they really know anything?”

“They do. It’s hard to deny that we do get along. Even when we’re arguing, there’s no hatred behind it. Everyone must see that. Apparently they can feel it in the Force too.”

“So we admit to being friends.”

“Yes. I don’t think there’s any point in trying to deny it. Dameron didn’t believe me at all.” Of course, Hux still didn’t know how to actually say he liked Kylo out loud, but that was something to worry about later. “Now, I believe you had something else in mind when you dragged me into bed?”

Hux slid a hand down Kylo’s body and Kylo didn’t waste another second.

***

The mission hadn’t even started yet and Kylo had already managed to get into an argument. But it seemed like everything about the mission was an argument. Finn didn’t want him to come along, Rey wanted him to leave his lightsaber, no one wanted Hux to go, and now, they were arguing about where Kylo was going to stay.

“I have my own quarters already and no one’s using them,” Kylo pointed out. “Why move somewhere else?”

“Because you’re coming to help train Jedi and we’re doing that in a completely different section of the ship,” Rey argued. “It doesn’t make sense for you to be so far away.”

“I don’t mind the walk.”

“You’re supposed to be part of the team, Kylo. This doesn’t feel like you are.”

“Why do I have to live near everyone else to be part of the team? I have quarters and I like them! Why do I need to change?”

“Because you’re a Jedi! You should be with the rest of us!”

“I am not a Jedi!” Kylo snapped. That ended the conversation and Kylo stormed off the _Falcon_ and towards his quarters. He sensed someone following him, but it was only Hux, which was fine with Kylo.

He brushed past Mitaka as he made his way out of the hangar, and he heard Hux saying something to him, but Kylo really didn’t care to listen. Before making it to his quarters, he felt a hand on his shoulder and Kylo stopped, turning to face Hux.

“That’s a good start to the mission,” Hux said.

“I don’t need you getting on me about this too,” Kylo growled. If anyone should have been on his side, it should have been Hux.

“No, I agree with you. I don’t care what kind of improvements they’ve made to the stormtrooper barracks. I’d much rather stay in my quarters or yours. However, you might want to apologize to Skywalker for shouting at her.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because I think you overreacted. But let’s worry about that later. How about we go to your quarters and I can hold you for a while?”

Kylo wanted to tell Hux he wasn’t overreacting, but he knew that would start an argument and Hux’s idea seemed so much better. As soon as they had their privacy, Hux had his arms around Kylo, and Kylo closed his eyes, relaxing. It was easier to stay calm with Hux holding him.

They ended up in bed, where Kylo immediately curled around Hux. There was no need to say anything - Hux just held him and stroked his hair. Somehow, they’d managed to stay together for the past year, and Kylo felt certain that nothing would change that. Even if he did have to move quarters, he’d still have Hux. That was the important thing.

“Did you want to talk about it?” Hux asked after a while.

“Talk about what?” Kylo murmured.

“You were pretty angry with Skywalker earlier. It seemed a little extreme to be that mad over quarters.”

“It’s not about that,” Kylo said, snuggling in closer to Hux. He really didn’t want to talk, but it was something they’d been doing more often. And although neither one of them enjoyed it, Kylo couldn’t deny that it was useful. Especially for Hux, who didn’t have the Force to read emotions.

“I thought as much.”

“She wants me to be a Jedi,” Kylo said eventually. “She’s never actually called me one before. But then she did. And I’m not a Jedi.”

“Obviously, but why is that such a bad thing? You did agree to help train Jedi. That’s why we’re on this mission in the first place. So you don’t have a problem with Jedi themselves.”

“It’s not who I am.” Kylo wanted to leave it at that, but he also knew Hux would understand. After all, he’d been in a similar situation. “When I was a kid. It was just assumed I’d be a Jedi. My parents even named me after one. And then I went off with my uncle to train. No one ever really asked what I wanted. I never had a choice. Until I did.”

“And that’s when you became Kylo.”

“Basically.” Kylo hadn’t talked much about when he’d first left the Jedi to anyone, not even to Hux. He didn’t like thinking about back then, when he’d been so unsure of his own path. “Snoke or Palpatine or whoever. They might have manipulated me. But it was still the first time I was able to do what I wanted. I was free. And I would never go back.”

“I see,” Hux said. “At least you can’t go back to the old Jedi. You did destroy them.”

“I know. But even being called a Jedi. I can’t. And I know Rey is hoping that it’ll change me. That if I become a Jedi, I’ll start using my old name again.”

“Well, I don’t think that will ever happen.”

“It’s tempting, Hux. I sometimes think about it. If I call myself Ben. Would she completely forgive me then? Could I fit in somewhere? And I could be a Jedi. I could heal the crystal in my saber and it would stop screaming at me and Rey wouldn’t look at me like I’m ready to snap and kill everyone around me.”

“Kylo.” Hux wrapped his arms tightly around him and kissed the top of his head. “If that’s what you want, then there’s no reason you shouldn’t. It’s your choice. Just like it was your choice to be Kylo. But for what it’s worth, I like you just the way you are.”

Kylo sighed and nuzzled against Hux. Hearing Hux say that was just what he needed. As much as he wanted his family to accept him, he really didn’t need it. He had Hux. What else could he need?

***

After getting settled into her quarters, Rey walked across the ship to Kylo’s quarters. At least the walk was long enough for her to consider what she was going to say to him. Of course, it was long enough that she changed her mind several times.

Her first thought was that she was going to apologize, but then she remembered he’d been the one to snap at her. She didn’t owe him an apology. With that in mind, she wanted to chew him out, but as she considered it, she decided that it really wasn’t worth getting that angry over. 

By the time, Rey finally made it to his door, she was calm and planning on just making sure he was okay. It wasn’t as if the outbursts were anything new from him. Rey liked to think he was getting better, but she knew he was still the same. He probably always would be. But at least he never damaged anything or seemed to hold a grudge.

Rey requested entry and she wasn’t entirely surprised to see Armitage open the door. That was probably why he’d wanted his own quarters - so the two of them could be together. And that was also likely the reason he refused to explain himself, because Kylo still liked to pretend there was nothing going on between him and Armitage.

“I assume you want to see Kylo,” Armitage said as he stepped out of the doorway.

“Yes,” she said as she stepped inside. “Is this a good time?” 

“As good as any.”

Kylo walked out from what Rey assumed was the bedroom and she was glad that he didn’t feel angry. He was surprisingly calm.

“I shouldn’t have yelled,” he mumbled and Rey wasn’t entirely sure she heard him right. Kylo didn’t apologize. Or even admit that he was wrong.

“Um.” Rey tried to remember what she was going to say. Now that Kylo seemed to realize he was in the wrong, it seemed pointless to ask him to not shout at her and tell him he needed to control his temper.

“You can stay wherever you want,” Rey said. “It really isn’t that important. I thought it would be nice to have everyone together, but it really wasn’t worth arguing over.”

“Yeah. I’m just more comfortable here. And. I’m not a Jedi, Rey. I never will be. It’s not who I am.”

Rey wanted to tell him that wasn’t true and that he could still be a Jedi even if he had done terrible things in the past. But then it hit her - it wasn’t that he didn’t feel worthy of the title. During their meditations over the past few months, she’d sensed that he felt like he didn’t belong. She’d assumed it was because he felt guilty, and she had tried to make him feel better. Now she realized she hadn’t understood Kylo at all.

It wasn’t that he couldn’t be a Jedi because of his past. He didn’t want to be one. Rey knew he had struggled with his identity and knowing himself, and if he’d finally started to figure that out, Rey was happy for him. Even if it wasn’t what she wanted for him. 

“Okay,” she said. She smiled and Kylo did too. At that, she couldn’t resist hugging him. She wanted her brother to be happy and at peace with himself, and she would support him however she could.


	27. Chapter 27

Hux had no idea what planet he was on and he was happy that he didn’t need to care. Their first few stops on the planet were nice, warm places, and he and Kylo had spent far more time walking around and enjoying themselves instead of joining Skywalker and Finn on their mission. For Hux, that was perfectly acceptable. They didn’t need him to talk to new Jedi recruits.

It didn’t seem like they really needed Kylo either, although he would usually at least take a few minutes to meet the prospective students before taking off with Hux. Maybe that was all they needed from him, as they didn’t seem to need help convincing anyone to join them.

Their final stop was a remote village on the southern part of the planet and Hux immediately decided he didn’t like the place. It was cold and because the village was so small, there wasn’t going to be anything else to do. Not that he would want to do anything in the cold.

For the first time, he and Kylo planned on spending the entire time with Skywlker and Finn. Hux hoped it would at least be quick, but Skywalker had to crush that hope.

“This will probably be the most difficult one of all,” Skywalker said. “We found a record of a Force-sensitive child in this part of the planet, but it’s been a few years and they could have moved on. If they are here, then we might have trouble because this would be our youngest student.”

“How young?” Kylo asked.

“About eight or nine, I think.”

“Good thing we have Hux then.”

“We’re not going to kidnap anyone,” Finn said. “Which is the only reason I can think of that he’d be useful in this situation.”

“That’d make it easy,” Kylo said. “Hux is good with kids. If they’re scared or something. He can help.”

“Really?” Skywalker asked. “I wouldn’t have thought you’d like kids.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” Hux said. And he wanted to keep it that way. Skywalker was tolerable, but they weren’t friends. They could probably work together if they needed to, but Hux couldn’t imagine any kind of relationship with the Jedi.

“It doesn’t have to be that way,” she said. “If you don’t want it to be.”

She didn’t say anything else as they made it into the main part of the village. Skywalker started asking the locals questions and they were at least helpful, although her questions seemed to make people uncomfortable. That was interesting. She was only asking where to find a particular person. Clearly, the locals knew exactly who she was looking for and if Hux had to guess, no one liked them.

Before too long, they made their way to a small house on the edge of the town and Skywalker knocked on the door. It took a few minutes, but an older man answered and scowled at them. Hux immediately decided he didn’t like the man. Something about the way he stood reminded him of Brendol.

Skywalker introduced herself and then explained that they were there looking for a child who might have unusual abilities. The man denied knowing anything about that, but Hux noticed there was a child looking out a window at them. As soon as the child realized he had been noticed, he ducked away.

“There is a child here,” Hux said, when the man denied anyone else living there. “I saw him in the window.”

“I don’t see why it matters! There’s nothing special about him!”

“Please,” Skywalker said, “just let us come in and talk to him. It will only take a few minutes.”

“Why -”

“You will let us in.”

“Come in,” the man said, stepping aside.

“We talked about this, Rey,” Finn muttered as they all walked inside. 

“I know,” she said. “I won’t go too far. I promise.”

“Why’d I let you in?” the man seemed confused.

“You wanted us to talk to the child,” Skywalker said, and Hux wasn’t sure if she was using the Force to influence him or not. He guessed that she was, because the man called out for Zethis, and before too long, a small, red-haired boy stepped into the room. They briefly locked eyes and Hux felt something. Like he needed to help. 

Skywalker crouched down and started talking to the boy. Every time she asked if he could simply feel things or knew things he shouldn’t have known, the father - if that man was even his father - would interrupt and tell Skywalker that it was a ridiculous idea, and of course he couldn’t do that.

Hux watched Zethis carefully and he was certain that he wanted to say something, but he seemed too frightened to speak, and it wasn’t hard for Hux to guess why. 

“Why don’t you and I have a talk?” Hux said, stepping forward to put himself between the man and the boy. 

“Why would I want to talk to you?”

“Because I’m like you. I think a lot of what they talk about is mostly nonsense, but even so, I’ve seen them do things that should be impossible. All they want to do is rule out that your son has these abilities. And once they do that, we can be on our way and you’ll never hear from us again.”

Hux had a feeling that wasn’t going to be true. Force-sensitive or not, Hux didn’t want to leave the boy there. He’d never convince Skywalker of it, but Kylo would back him up. Of course, it would be so much easier if Zethis was Force-sensitive, but to determine that, Hux needed to keep the man distracted, so he would say whatever he needed to.

“Why would you even think he’s got anything like that? He’s useless.”

Hux couldn’t help but flinch at the harsh words. He definitely wasn’t going to be leaving the boy behind, but he needed to play nice for the moment.

“That’s one of their mysteries, I’m afraid,” Hux said, glancing over at Skywalker. She was talking to Zethis and Kylo was creeping in closer. He must have known that things weren’t likely to end well.

“It turns out that he does have what we’re looking for,” Skywalker said. “We’d like to take him with us -”

“Absolutely not!” the man nearly shouted at them.

“Please listen. These abilities need to be trained, otherwise, they can be dangerous.”

“I don’t care! He doesn’t have any special abilities!”

“Please,” Zethis said, his voice soft. “I do. I know I do. I can go with them and you won’t have to put up with me anymore.”

“No! Now get out of my house!”

Skywalker and Finn were quick to leave, but Kylo had to drag Hux away. He couldn’t leave. That man was another Brendol and he didn’t deserve to remain breathing. Unfortunately, he was only armed with a small knife, but that would be enough. 

“We can’t leave,” Hux said, stopping outside the door. “We can’t leave that child there with him.”

“What choice do we have?” Skywalker asked. “We can’t make him give up his child.”

“Can’t you?” Hux asked.

“I could, but that’s not how we do things.”

“Funny. The First Order stormtrooper program was based on the way the Jedi would take young children from their families. So it seems like it’s a perfectly reasonable thing to do.”

“We’re going to be better than that,” Finn said. “We’re not going to steal children.”

“Did you miss what went on in there? He wanted to leave! If we don’t take him, who knows what will happen to him?”

“It’s okay,” Skywalker said. “You don’t need to shout.”

“Are you sure? Because the two of you seem willing to let a child suffer! If you won’t help him, I will!”

Hux turned back to the house and he could hear movement behind him. He didn’t pay any attention. If Finn and Skywalker wanted to stop him, then he would just need to work quickly. The door wasn’t locked and Hux barged right back in.

He froze at the scene in front of him, remembering it all too well from a different perspective. Zethis was curled up on the ground, his father standing over him. Hux couldn’t tell if he’d already been hit or if he’d managed to interrupt on time, but he didn’t spend long thinking about it. He wasn’t going to let Zethis get hit even one more time.

He grabbed the man’s arm, and pulled him back, putting a little more space between him and Zethis. Hux had hoped the boy would have run, but he knew all too well why he didn’t. But Hux wasn’t alone. He glanced back towards the door and saw Kylo.

“Take him,” Hux said. Hux held the man, who was cursing and screaming, as Kylo grabbed Zethis and carried him out of the room.

“You have no idea how many worthless men like you I’ve killed,” Hux said as he took out his knife. “You’re just one more on a long list.” 

Hux sunk the blade into the man, killing him quickly. He would have liked to make him suffer, but he wasn’t going to give Skywalker or Finn a chance to stop him. The man got exactly what he deserved.

“What did you do?” Hux got up and saw Skywalker standing in the doorway, looking shocked. 

“What I had to,” he said. “We should leave before we attract attention.”

“You can’t kill people, Armitage!”

“I don’t see why not. He was hurting the boy and this was the only thing that was going to make him stop. And I made your mission easier too. There’s no one to stop the boy from becoming a Jedi now.”

“We can’t take him.”

“Why not? Because you didn’t get permission from that?” Hux motioned back at the corpse. “What are you going to do? Just abandon him here?”

“No, but -”

“Well, then, he’s coming with me. If you decide to train him as a Jedi or not is irrelevant.” Hux wasn’t going to argue about it any longer. He brushed past Skywalker and went outside, where Zethis was clinging to Kylo.

“Everything’s going to be okay,” Hux said softly to the boy. “I promise.”

***

No one spoke on the way back to the _Finalizer_. The boy, Zethis, had remained in Kylo’s arms and Kylo was fairly certain he had fallen asleep. Kylo had no problem with what Hux had done - he’d known before he’d removed Zethis from the room. But Rey and Finn were not happy, and Kylo couldn’t help but think the Jedi were doomed to fail.

They’d already argued plenty on what should have been a short, simple mission, and while Kylo could move past the fight about quarters, he suspected the issue with the boy was going to be more difficult to work around. As far as Kylo was concerned, Hux had done the right thing and he was going to support that decision.

“Armitage,” Rey said when they made it back to the _Finalizer_. “We need to talk.”

Kylo had already headed towards the exit but he stopped, turning back to face Rey. He could see that she was not happy and Kylo didn’t want to leave Hux alone. Of course, he didn’t think Zethis needed to be subjected to that and Kylo didn’t want to carry him any longer than necessary.

“Get him settled in,” Rey said to Kylo. “I need to talk to him alone.”

“Set him up in quarters near ours,” Hux said.

“No,” Rey said, then she shook her head with a sigh. “It doesn’t matter. Just find a place for him.”

“You sure you want me to leave?” Kylo asked Hux softly.

“I’ll be fine,” Hux assured him. “She can’t do anything to me that someone else hasn’t done before.”

Kylo knew that was true, and he knew Rey wasn’t going to hurt him, but he didn’t deserve to be chewed out for saving Zethis. But Hux could take care of himself. He left and made his way to the bridge. 

“Hey, kid,” Kylo said after walking halfway there. “You awake?” The boy nodded against him and Kylo crouched down and gently set him down. He could feel that he was scared, but it wasn’t as strong as it had been earlier. Kylo did his best to send him comfort through the Force. “You think you could walk for a bit?”

Zethis nodded again and Kylo stood up. When he did, Kylo could feel another burst of fear and anxiety, but the boy wasn’t afraid of him. Kylo held out his hand and Zethis took it, which seemed to calm him. Having Zethis walk wasn’t any faster than carrying him, but at least Kylo wasn’t wearing out his arms.

After a while, it felt awkward to walk in silence but Kylo wasn’t really sure how to talk to him. He never spent time around children. He’d have to initiate the conversation - he knew the boy was too scared to do so on his own. 

“This is the _Finalizer_ ,” Kylo said, deciding on telling him about the ship and where they were going. “We’re going to find a place for you to stay. I know you’re scared, but we’re going to take care of you.”

Zethis was silent and if Kylo hadn’t heard him speak earlier, Kylo would have wondered if he could. But he’d just been through a traumatic experience and if he didn’t feel like speaking, Kylo wasn’t going to make him.

“It’s a big ship, but we’ll make sure you don’t get lost. I can get you a datapad with a map so you can always find your way. And I can show you where all the good hiding places are too.”

They made it to the bridge and he felt Zethis moving closer to him. The bridge crew - only four people - all looked their way. Unlike the crew’s usual response, they didn’t immediately look away from him, which was unfortunate because he knew it was making Zethis uncomfortable. Mitaka - now the captain of the _Finalizer_ \- approached them.

“Mitaka,” Kylo said. “I need to assign quarters for my new friend here.”

“Um.” Mitaka looked down, then back up at Kylo. “I wasn’t aware the Jedi were going to need additional space.”

“This is for Hux,” Kylo said. “Not the Jedi.”

“I see.”

“He’s new,” Kylo reminded Mitaka, pushing a small Force suggestion on him. “I think you say hello.”

“Of course,” Mitaka said. He crouched down and held out his hand. “Hi, there. My name is Dopheld.”

Zethis hesitated and looked up at Kylo, who nodded, using the Force to tell him that it was okay. He let go of Kylo’s hand and shook Mitaka’s. 

“Is this your first time on a starship?” Mitaka asked, and the boy nodded. “Would you like me to show you around the bridge?”

Zethis nodded, and Mitaka took his hand and walked around the bridge, introducing him to the rest of the crew and then taking him around to where the different controls were and showing him how to use some of the basic functions of the computers. While they were doing that, Kylo assigned the quarters next to his to Zethis. The system required a surname and not wanting to interrupt the tour, Kylo simply put Hux in for his last name. It’s not as if it really mattered.

“I’ve got your quarters set up,” Kylo told him as they made their way back around. “I can take you there whenever you’d like.”

Soon, Kylo took Zethis’ hand once more and led him down to his new quarters. Hopefully the droids had already arrived to set everything up. When they made it to the door, Kylo had Zethis set up his own entry code and then they went inside. The quarters were smaller than his, but still decently sized for being on a ship.

As Kylo glanced around, he could see that the droids had made it in already, although they’d simply dropped off supplies. Kylo could deal with putting his things away later. First, he needed to get Zethis settled in and show him the basics of living on board the ship. He sat down with Zethis on the couch and used the Force to bring the datapad over to them.

“I’ll show you everything you need to know, okay?” Kylo said as he turned the datapad on. “And I live next door, so you can always come over and ask me for anything too.”

Kylo showed him the datapad and how to find the map. He also made sure to mark important locations on it so Zethis could find his way easily, no matter where he was on the ship. Kylo also showed him how to re quest additional supplies and set up the datapad so he could easily contact him or Hux if he needed to.

“Do you have any questions?” Kylo asked when he was done. As expected, Zethis shook his head. “All right. I’m going to get all your things put away. If you’re hungry, you can order something to eat from the datapad.”

Kylo got up and made the bed and put the spare clothes and refresher supplies away. The clothes would be too large for Zethis, but they would have to do for the moment. Kylo didn’t have time to try to figure out what size of clothes he needed and simply ordered the smallest possible size. 

When he had finished, Kylo saw that Zethis had fallen asleep on the couch and Kylo scooped him up and took him to the bed, tucking him in before quietly making his way out of the room. He almost didn’t want to leave him, thinking he might be scared if he were to wake up alone, but Kylo couldn’t spend all day with the kid.

And he needed to check on Hux and make sure that Rey wasn’t still yelling at him.

About halfway to the hangar, he ran into Hux and he gave him a quick hug. He wanted to hold on to him longer, but he still found the idea of hugging Hux where they could be seen awkward. Instead, he stepped back and settled for keeping his hands on Hux’s shoulders. 

“Are you okay?”

“Of course I am.” Hux started walking and Kylo fell into step next to him. “She’s angry and told me that I can’t be killing people then threatened to lock me up.”

“Threatened? She’s not going to?” Kylo had worried that Rey would try to do something like that. Of course, Kylo would never allow it.

“I don’t think so. At least she’s letting it go for now.”

“That’s good.” Kylo couldn’t help but wonder why. “So did she just tell you how disappointed she was in you or something?”

“Well, that’s how it ended. I had to cry a little and talk about Brendol, but I think that was enough for her to let this go.”

Kylo snorted. The idea of Hux crying to get out of trouble was hilarious. At least, it would have been if Kylo didn’t know that there was very real pain behind the tears. Still, Kylo was glad that Rey didn’t plan on trying to punish Hux.

“How’s the boy?” Hux asked as they turned down the corridor where their quarters were.

“Sleeping,” Kylo said. “He’s next door.”

“We’ll check on him in a bit,” Hux said.

“He’s got a datapad,” Kylo told him. “I showed him how to use it and he can call us if he needs to.”

“We still need to check on him,” Hux said, stopping outside the door to Kylo’s quarters. “It’s very likely he won’t tell us if he needs anything. At least for a little while, someone will need to make sure he’s getting everything he needs.”

Hux opened the door and they walked inside. Kylo reached out with the Force, sensing Zethis as he did so. As far as he could tell, he was still sleeping. “I think you’d be better at that,” Kylo said. “I’m not good with kids.”

“Well, I suppose I did make him my responsibility when I took him. If you don’t want to deal with him, that’s fine with me.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Kylo said, reaching out to take Hux’s hand. He didn’t want anything to come between them. He wouldn’t let that happen. “I just don’t know how to talk to kids. Or how to do anything. But I’m sure he’ll go train with Rey soon anyway. I can try my best until then.”

“I’m not sure she wants him.”

“What do you mean?”

“She said that she couldn’t take him when we were down on the planet,” Hux said. He kept a hold of Kylo’s hand and sat down on the couch, and he snuggled up close to him. “Apparently, she’s committed to the idea of not taking children from the families, especially not with force. I think it’s more Finn’s idea, but they may not want to train him because of what I did.”

“That’s stupid.”

“I know.”

“I’ll train him then,” Kylo said. He hadn’t wanted to take on that kind of responsibility - he’d only wanted to train the students to help round out the areas where Finn and Rey weren’t as skilled. But if Zethis wanted to train as a Jedi, then Kylo would make sure he did.

“I’m sure Skywalker is going to love that idea. You don’t think she might try to stop you?”

“She can’t stop me.”

“Exactly. And you don’t think she will worry you’re training your own group of… knights or whatever?”

“Oh.” Kylo didn’t think about that. He had no intention of forming his own group of Force users, but he knew that’s what it would look like. Rey might let things slide, but Finn would not. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll train him anyway. I’m going to make sure he has the power to make sure no one can hurt him again.”

Hux smiled at that, but Kylo couldn’t help but think he looked a little sad at the same time. No one had done that for him. And although it was far too late and Hux had no Force sensitivity of his own, Kylo was determined to use his power to make sure that no one hurt Hux again either. Hux and Zethis were both safe with him.

***

It was hard listening to Hux argue that what he had done was right. Finn had wanted to jump into the conversation and tell Hux that he was wrong and that he would always be wrong, but he’d held himself back. He knew there was no good that could come from that conversation. And Rey could handle it.

Or so Finn thought. She’d started out being hard on him, just as she should have been, but she faltered when Hux asked if he should have left and let the boy be beaten. Still, she held her ground that Hux had been in the wrong for killing the man and said that he should be locked up. Finn had felt Hux’s distress at that and that’s when Rey changed her mind.

Hux had cried and started making excuses, blaming his father for everything he’d done. Rey didn’t have the heart to tell Hux to knock it off, and Finn wasn’t even sure that she realized that Hux was manipulating her. She always did want to believe the best of people and Finn loved that about her. In the case of Hux, however, that was unacceptable.

Finn had hinted to Rey that Hux was just trying to get out of trouble, but Rey seemed to believe him. So Finn would just have to make sure that Hux knew his tactics wouldn’t work on everyone. 

He requested entry to Hux’s quarters. Or Ren’s. Finn wasn’t sure who they actually belonged to, but it didn’t matter. He just knew that’s where he would find Hux. It took a few moments but the door slid open and he found Hux standing on the other side, a bathrobe wrapped around him. Finn was taken aback at just how small he appeared in that moment but that didn’t change anything. Finn knew exactly who Hux was and what he was capable of.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Talk or shout? Because I will need you to keep your voice down if you want to come in.” Hux gestured behind him and Finn saw the boy asleep on the couch.

“What’s he doing in here?” Finn had thought he was being assigned his own quarters and he couldn’t imagine why he’d still be with Hux and Ren. Or why the two of them would allow it.

“He was scared and didn’t want to be alone,” Hux said. “If you can be quiet, I suppose you can come in, but if you wake him up - or Kylo - we’re going to have a problem.”

“We already have a problem,” Finn muttered as he walked inside. He followed Hux over to the desk on the far side of the room, but he didn’t sit down. “I know what you’re doing. Trying to manipulate us so you can stay out of trouble.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You expect me to believe those tears of yours were real? Or that you’re capable of having any emotions?”

“You don’t know me at all. None of that was fake, but I don’t expect you to take my word for it. Go ahead and take a look if it’ll satisfy you.”

“Take a look?” It took Finn a moment to realize what Hux was suggesting and he shook his head. “I don’t do that.”

“Why not? It’s not as if I’m resisting. I’m inviting you in.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because I don’t think there’s anything else that will convince you that I’m not as horrible a person as you think, and like it or not, I think the two of us are going to be spending some time around each other. Maybe this will help.”

“There’s something else,” Finn said. Hux must have had some other motivation, but Finn wasn’t entirely sure what it was.

“Feel free to go digging for whatever you want,” Hux said. “I don’t have any secrets anymore.”

Finn hesitated, not wanting to play into his hands, but it wasn’t as if Hux could lie to the Force. Although if anyone could, it would be Hux. Maybe he thought he could and that was why he was making the offer, but Finn would be able to see everything.

“Are you sure about this?”

“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t.”

Finn was still uncertain, but it also seemed like the best way to have a chance to find out exactly what Hux was up to. The thing that Finn could never figure out about him was why he’d stuck around with the Resistance. He held out his hand and reached out with the Force. Maybe he'd finally get some answers.

He’d used the Force to connect with Rey and Poe before, but he’d never gone looking for anything in particular. It took him a few moments to figure out exactly what he was doing, but he soon found himself feeling Hux’s memories. Finn wanted to know what had been going through Hux’s mind when Rey confronted him, and he focused in on that, expecting to find some grand scheme.

Instead, he found anger and hatred - some of the few emotions that Finn wasn’t surprised that Hux could experience. But he sensed fear as well. For a moment, Finn thought he’d accidentally picked up on Zethis’ fear, but the men in the memories were Imperial. He was seeing Hux’s memories. 

There was so much more where that came from and Finn couldn’t even begin to process it all. There were other things Finn picked up on as well but he needed to pull back from Hux, knowing that he might become overwhelmed if he tried digging any deeper.

“Are you satisfied?” Hux asked. Finn noticed he was shaking. 

“Hux!” Ren came barging in from the bedroom, a blaster in hand. Finn also noticed he was only wearing a pair of loose pants. 

“It’s all right, Kylo,” Hux said, but Ren didn’t lower the weapon.

“What did you do?” Ren growled.

“He needed to see something,” Hux said, standing up and walking over to Ren. He put a hand on the blaster, pushing it down. 

Finn couldn’t help but stare, shocked to see them like that. He’d known they were close and friends of a sort, but to see the two of them almost caring about each other was not what Finn expected. Or that Ren had apparently been so in tune with Hux that he’d sensed his distress. 

“I should go,” Finn said.

“Yes,” Ren said. “You should.” For a moment, Finn just stared at Ren but he didn’t want to be there any longer. He’d gotten what he needed so he left, but he still had much to think about. What he’d found in Hux’s mind had not been what he expected.

Finn also had to face the terrifying reality that he wasn’t too different from Hux. Everything that he’d been put through, Hux had as well. And Hux had things far worse in some cases. The only difference was that he managed to get away and Hux hadn’t. Finn hated to think that he might have become just like Hux. 

That made it hard to hate him too. But at least it meant that Rey had been right about him, and Finn was glad that she hadn’t been completely manipulated by Hux. Still, things would be simpler if Finn could have continued to see him only as the bad guy. But he was a victim too and Finn couldn’t help but feel something for him.


	28. Chapter 28

Hux watched Kylo as he did a few training exercises with Zethis. Or at least, that’s what Kylo said they were doing. To Hux, it simply looked like they were sitting on the floor with their eyes closed. How that was training was beyond Hux. He’d thought it would be more like Kylo’s lightsaber training that he’d seen before.

If Hux hadn’t seen Skywalker and Finn do the same thing with their students, he would think that Kylo was simply wasting time. Of course, it still looked like that and Hux just had to believe that they were actually doing something. 

At least it was quiet, which meant that Hux could work on his designs for improved engines for capital ships. The Republic had decent engines already, but when Hux had seen the specs, he’d immediately seen ways to improve them.

“Hey,” Kylo said. Hux looked up and saw Kylo standing in front of him. He hadn’t noticed that he’d gotten up from the floor. He checked the time and realized he’d been working for a few hours. “Zethis and I are going to get something to eat. You should come with us.”

Although it was worded as a suggestion, Hux knew it really wasn’t. If he didn’t go with them, Kylo would bring food back and pester him until he ate. He could eat and work at the same time, but it wasn’t as if there was any rush to finish the new engines, and he wanted to spend time with Kylo.

They headed to the mess hall together, and as they walked, Zethis grabbed hold of both Hux and Kylo’s hands. Zethis had only been with them a month, but he’d seemed to have grown rather attached to them. Hux didn’t really mind. If anything, he enjoyed having the boy around, knowing that he was safe with them. The best part was when Zethis would smile, which didn’t happen often, but it made Hux feel good.

“How’s the training going?” Hux asked.

“Good,” Zethis said.

“What exactly are you doing during training?” Hux asked and Kylo laughed.

“You think we’re just sitting on the floor, don’t you?” Kylo asked.

“That’s what it looks like.”

“Kylo’s teaching me how to connect to the Force,” Zethis explained. “I have to do that so I can control it.”

“I see,” Hux said. He knew the Force was something he’d never understand, but he couldn’t help but wish he could. It was almost tempting to ask Kylo to let him join in the training sessions, but there would be no point, and it’d be a waste of time.There were much more important things for him to be doing.

When they arrived at the mess hall, it was mostly empty, which wasn’t too unusual. Most of the former First Order personnel ate lunch earlier in the day and the Jedi had their own separate mess hall. 

Hux couldn’t help but smile while he watched as Zethis take as much as he wanted. He’d been scared at first, not willing to take anything that wasn’t given to him, but he’d made progress in the past month. Hux knew he still had a long road ahead of him, but he had the feeling Zethis would have a chance at a normal life. Or as normal a life as a Jedi could have.

Whether or not he’d be trained as a Jedi was still uncertain - Finn and Skywalker had said they hadn’t felt right about taking him on as a student and had said they’d have to think about it. That didn’t matter as Kylo was more than happy to train Zethis himself. Maybe he wouldn’t be a Jedi, but he’d learn to control his powers.

“I was thinking we should go down to Ajan Kloss again,” Kylo said as they sat down. “It’d be nice to get off the ship for a while.”

Hux was about to argue against it as he found it easier to focus while on the ship with the comforting sound of the ship’s engine in the background, but when he saw Zethis’ face light up, Hux knew he couldn’t say anything. He wanted nothing but happiness for Zethis.

“Let’s make sure Skywalker isn’t planning to leave anytime soon,” Hux said. Hux knew that she had plans for frequent trips, both to pick up any more students she identified and to let the current ones visit family.

“Looks like we’re going to get a chance to do that now,” Kylo said, glancing towards the entrance. Hux turned his head and saw Finn walking towards them.

Hux wasn’t surprised to see him, as he’d been around quite a bit since Zethis joined them. Although Hux liked to think he was just checking on Zethis, Hux knew that wasn’t the true reason he was around so often. It likely had something to do with what he had seen in Hux’s mind, but Hux didn’t want to think about that.

“Hux,” Finn said, sitting down next to him. “Is everything going well?”

“Yes. I’ve almost finished a new engine design. I’m sure it’ll need some adjustment once the prototype is built, but I should at least have the initial designs done in a few days.”

“Oh. That’s good.” Finn glanced over at Kylo. “And everything else is okay?”

“Yes.” Hux didn’t want to say anymore than that. He thought Finn wanted to get him to confirm the nature of his relationship with Kylo. Finn had been inside his head and he must have known, but Hux still couldn’t admit it.

“We were hoping to take Zethis down to Ajan Kloss for a few days,” Hux said, wanting to change the subject. “Were you planning on leaving anytime soon?”

“Not for another week at least,” Finn said.

“We’ll leave tomorrow then,” Hux said, but then he looked over to Kylo. “If that works for you.”

“It does,” Kylo said.

“That won’t be a problem, will it?” Hux asked Finn.

“Just as long as you stay on Ajan Kloss, it’s fine. Check in with Rose when you get down there. I’ll let her know you’re coming.”

Finn stayed with them until they’d finished eating and then walked with them back to their quarters, where he asked to speak to Hux alone. He’d expected that’s what he wanted, and as much as he wanted to get back to work, he also wanted to let Finn say whatever he wanted to say so he would leave him alone.

“I’ve had some time to think about this,” Finn said, once Kylo and Zethis had gone inside. “But I wanted to tell you that I was wrong about you and I think you actually could be a decent person if you really tried.”

Hux was surprised to hear him say that. It was the nicest thing Finn had ever said to him and it was completely unexpected. He didn’t even know what to say. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I know that no one’s ever really believed in you before. Except Ren, I suppose, but I’m not sure he’s the best influence on you.”

“So you believe I can be a good person, but not Kylo? Do you really think Kylo and I are so different?”

“Ren had a family who loved him. Still does. He threw it away. You’re like me. You never had a chance to make your own choice.”

“You thought you knew me too,” Hux reminded him. “If you’re going to give me a chance, then you should give him one too. I’d say you should get to know him, but I don’t think he’d talk to you.”

“Yeah, I think you’re the only one he does talk to.”

“Everyone needs a friend, I suppose. Even Kylo Ren.”

“He’s your first friend, isn’t he?”

Hux hadn’t really thought about it before, but it was true. He’d never had time for friends before. Not that anyone would have wanted to be his friend anyway. 

“Rey was my first friend. Well, I guess I met Poe first, but I didn’t have a chance to really get to know him until later. I know you probably aren’t too interested in having more friends, but I’d like to try. Rey would too.”

“You want to be friends?” Hux couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Finn hated him and he had very good reason to.

“I would like to actually get to know who you are,” Finn said.

“I… will you give Kylo the same chance?” Hux almost said he would give him a chance, but he didn’t want to spend time around Finn if he hated Kylo. Kylo was far more important to Hux than anyone else.

“I’ll try.”

“Well. Then I suppose we can spend time together if that’s what you really want. But it’ll have to wait until after we get back from Ajan Kloss.”

Finn nodded and Hux quickly ducked into his quarters, glad that conversation was over with. He’d thought that Finn had some problem with something and had expected that he’d need to defend himself. He had not been prepared for Finn to try being nice to him and he wanted nothing more than to isolate himself and curl up with Kylo for the rest of the day.

***

The reason Kylo wanted to go planetside was to help with Zethis’ training as it was easier to connect with the Force while surrounded by life, but when he saw how excited the boy was just to be running around and playing, Kylo decided that was more important. The first time he’d taken Zethis to Ajan Kloss, he’d been too scared to do much but he seemed much better now.

What made things even better was that several members of the Resistance had brought their families to Ajan Kloss since the fighting was over. That meant there were other kids for Zethis to play with. It only took a few hours for Kylo to realize that they weren’t going to be doing much training.

That was fine with Kylo. He knew as well as anyone that a kid needed time to at least try to be normal. He needed a chance to play and have friends and maybe Zethis would have a chance to control the darkness that was inside him. 

Kylo could sense the darkness during their meditations and he couldn’t help but worry that it might end up controlling him. That was something Kylo knew far too much about. He knew exactly how easy it was to give in to the darkness, but Kylo wanted better for Zethis. He’d do everything he possibly could to keep that from happening.

As Zethis played, Kylo watched, making sure that everything was going well between Zethis and the two other kids he was playing with. So far, there were no issues, but Kylo knew how fast that could change. And if something happened and Zethis unintentionally used the Force and hurt someone, Kylo knew that the other kids would be too afraid to play with him again. Kylo didn’t want that for Zethis.

Kylo also had to make certain that he stayed far enough away that he wasn’t noticed by the other children. His identity was no secret and Kylo didn’t want Zethis’ friendliness towards him to impact his ability to make friends. It was strange lurking in the jungle just to keep an eye on the kid, but it seemed like the best option.

Although Kylo was hidden from the kids, he was not hidden from Hux, who he sensed approaching. Kylo turned his attention towards Hux just as Hux wrapped his arms around him. Hux pressed their lips together, bringing a hand up to stroke through Kylo’s hair.

“I finished the engine design,” Hux said as he pulled away. “Thought I’d take a break before getting started on my next project. Why are you hiding out here?”

“Keeping an eye on Zethis. Didn’t want to scare the kids.”

“He’ll be fine for a while if you want to go to our quarters.”

That was a tempting idea - ever since they’d rescued Zethis, it had been difficult to find time to themselves. Kylo couldn’t hold it against Zethis - he was a scared boy who had turned to the only people he could trust to keep him safe. But that meant he and Hux had to be very careful about when and where they had sex.

“I guess you’re right,” Kylo said, glancing towards Zethis. 

“Of course I am,” Hux said, giving Kylo a quick kiss. “Now let’s go.”

Hux let go of Kylo, only to grab his hand and pull him along back towards the base. Kylo watched Zethis for as long as possible, but soon, he was out of sight and Kylo tried not to worry about him. He was having fun and it was about time that Kylo had some fun of his own.

Almost as soon as they had made it to their quarters, Hux was taking his clothes off. A clear sign that it really had been too long. Kylo followed suit and soon, the two of them were naked and holding on to each other.

They barely had to discuss anything - all it took was a simple touch here and there and they were able to know what the other wanted. Kylo had the Force to help him, but Hux seemed to read Kylo just as clearly. There really did seem to be a bond developing between them.

The thought of being connected to Hux in such a way was enough to bring a few tears to Kylo’s eyes, and he soon found himself clinging to Hux. It wasn’t unusual for Kylo to cry during sex, and as usual, Hux comforted him, gently kissing his face.

When they had finished, Kylo kept his arms wrapped tightly around Hux, never wanting to let him go. He loved the way he felt next to him, his slim figure laying against him. Although Hux never said anything, Kylo knew he enjoyed lying together in silence as well. He could feel his contentment in the Force.

“We really should get up,” Hux said after a while.

“Probably,” Kylo agreed, but he didn’t move or let go of Hux, and Hux didn’t try to move either.

They stayed together, just holding each other. Kylo always felt more at peace in the moments he shared with Hux like that. He buried his face into Hux’s neck, enjoying his scent and never wanting to move, but eventually, Hux started to pull away.

“We really should clean up,” Hux said softly as he sat up. Kylo kept his hands on Hux, needing to keep in contact with him.

“We could wait a bit longer.”

“We could,” Hux said, giving him a quick kiss before getting out of bed. “But you’ll just keep saying that.”

“That’s true.” Kylo reached out, running a hand down Hux’s side. He was still surprised at just how soft Hux’s skin was and he still couldn’t believe he was allowed to touch him like that. Kylo looked up at Hux’s face and smiled.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered. Kylo sat up on the bed and put a hand on Hux’s chest, slowly moving down to rest on his soft stomach. 

“Come on, Kylo,” Hux said, lightly pulling on his arm.

Kylo stood and wrapped his arms around Hux, wanting to hold and protect him forever. He knew that Hux wasn’t afraid of him anymore, but he didn’t know if Hux truly felt safe with him. With time, Kylo hoped that he would.

***

There were times when Poe hated that his job kept him away from Finn and Rey, but he also knew that rebuilding the Republic was the most important thing he could do, while Finn and Rey needed to work on training Jedi. Poe had wanted to say that he needed Finn’s help so he’d at least get to spend some time with him, but he knew that Rey needed him more. There were others who could help Poe.

At least he’d managed to stay on board the _Finalizer_ when he wasn’t needed on Coruscant. Most of the Resistance remained on Ajan Kloss, but Rey had convinced Captain Mitaka to allow Poe to stay on board, even though he was Resistance and not a Jedi. That at least made it easier to spend time with Finn and Rey.

Of course, even when he did get to stay on the _Finalizer_ , he still had to be patient with the training schedule. They had eight students - plus the one kid who they had picked up but was never training with the others - and it took a lot of their time. At least they usually kept training sessions short.

As soon as the group of students was dismissed, Finn turned to Poe and quickly walked over to him. Finn must have sensed when he arrived and Poe was glad to finally wrap his arms around him. Rey soon joined them.

“I thought you weren’t coming back for another day or so,” Rey said. 

“Finished early so I could get back to you,” Poe said. “You ever consider going to Coruscant? Maybe go to the old Jedi Temple or something?”

“We could,” Rey said. “We did want a mobile training center for a reason.”

“But we should make sure we’re not traveling for only selfish reasons,” Finn said. 

“The students get to visit their families,” Poe said. “It’s only fair that you get to spend some time with yours too.”

“I’m sure we can come up with a good excuse to go,” Rey said. “Even if it’s just a fun trip. Although I suppose we should invite Kylo and Armitage. Or should we leave them on Ajan Kloss?”

“What about Zethis?” Finn asked. “Would we take him with us or leave him with them?”

“He’s not officially a student, but he is one of ours,” Rey said. “Do you really think it would be a good idea to leave him with Kylo and Armitage? Not that it matters because I’m not even sure they’d let us take him. They seem a bit attached.”

“Yeah, what is going on with that situation?” One of the problems that came from being away was that Poe didn’t quite know what was happening, and the situation with the youngest Jedi student was one of them. All he knew was that the boy spent a lot of time with Kylo and Armitage and that Finn had some reservations about starting his training.

“It’s almost like they adopted him,” Rey said. “Together.”

“Yeah,” Finn agreed. “I think there’s definitely something going on there. I don’t really want to call them a family, but it does sort of feel that way.”

“It does,” Rey said thoughtfully. “Kylo and Armitage definitely have a bond and now with Zethis, I think you’re right. They’ve turned into a family.”

“You really want to tell me those two adopted a child? Together?” Poe couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He never would have believed it, but then, just over a year ago, he never would have believed that Armitage or Kylo would be working for the Resistance. Maybe they had been serious when they said they wanted to be part of the team.

“It’s not official,” Rey said with a shrug. “Although they did put Zethis’ surname down as Hux in the ship’s computer. Maybe by First Order standards, that’s all it takes.”

“I don’t even know how they’re getting along enough in order to raise a kid,” Poe said, shaking his head. “Are you sure he’s safe?”

“I check in on them a lot,” Finn said. “Zethis is fine and I think he actually likes them.”

“Next thing you know, Armitage and Kylo are going to get married,” Poe grumbled.

“I wouldn’t say that’s impossible,” Rey said. “Sometimes I think there might be at least a little bit of romance between them. Have you ever noticed the way they look at each other?”

“I have and it makes me want to throw up,” Finn said.

“You used to look at Poe the same way,” Rey said, giving Finn a light punch in the shoulder. “Looking at him like you just wanted him to kiss you and hold you forever.”

“You looked at Rey that way too,” Poe said. “At least now you don’t have to just look.” Poe pulled Finn into his arms, holding him tight as he kissed him. He let go of Finn with one arm, reaching towards Rey and once she came close enough, he pulled her in and kissed her. Finally he pulled away from both of them, letting Rey kiss Finn.

“So now that I’m back for at least a few days,” Poe said, “you wanna go spend some time in our quarters?”


	29. Chapter 29

Hux stepped into the cockpit of the _Millennium Falcon_ , where Dameron was waiting in the pilot’s seat. It still felt odd to be on the ship that was instrumental in defeating both the Empire and the First Order. 

Sometimes, it was amazing the ship was still spaceworthy, but ever since he’d started going with Dameron to Coruscant, Hux had started to work on repairs and upgrades for the ancient ship. He wasn’t allowed to touch anything on the ship itself, but all he had to do was tell Skywalker or Dameron or even their droid and they’d make sure it got done.

“You okay, Armitage?” Dameron asked. “Sit down.”

“Sorry.” Hux sat down in the copilot’s seat and watched as Dameron started the ship and took off, and soon, the surface of Coruscant became nothing more than a mass of lights below them.

“Is something bothering you?” Dameron asked as they approached the _Finalizer_ which was stationed away from the planet. “You seem quiet.”

“Do you really think you need me for these meetings?” Hux asked. “It seems like it’d be better for me to just work on ship designs.”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve redesigned half the fleet already,” Dameron said. “And yeah, the Republic does need you. If nothing else, you’re really good and poking holes in the plan and helping us figure out what’s not going to work.”

“Somehow I feel like everyone else is not happy with my contributions.”

“That’s because they want it all to be easy. They’re not concerned with how long the new government will last as long as it works in the moment. You’re much better at seeing things from an outside perspective and finding the flaws. They might hate you for it now, but in the long run, you’re making the Republic much stronger.”

Hux still couldn’t believe that he was helping rebuild the Republic. It was a shock to him that anyone would allow it and even more shocking that they actually listened to him. Although really, Dameron was the only one who listened, but when he agreed, the others listened to Dameron.

“So I know we’re just getting back to the ship,” Dameron said as they approached the _Finalizer_ , “but Rey and Finn were planning on going back to Coruscant in a few hours and getting a drink and maybe just walking around for a bit.”

“I’d hate to intrude on your date,” Hux said.

“It’s not a date. Not really. We’re just hanging out and I thought you might like a little bit of time away from the ship.”

“I like being on the ship.”

“Yeah, I thought you might. But you know you can always let me know if you do want to do something different. Sometimes you just need to unwind a bit, you know.”

Hux didn’t say anything. It was odd that he was being invited to go anywhere and couldn’t imagine why. Dameron and the others barely tolerated him. The more he thought about that, the more Hux realized it wasn’t true. Dameron had been friendly with him since he first came to the Resistance and Skywalker had always been decent to him as well. Even Finn seemed to not hate him as much.

“Dameron,” Hux said as they flew into the hangar. “Are we… friends?”

“Um, yeah, I’d say so. You just now figuring that out?”

“Having friends is a new concept for me,” Hux admitted. “I’m not quite sure how it works.”

“You and Kylo seem to have it figured out.”

“Yes, well, I have known him for eight years. I never would have expected that you would consider me a friend.”

“I didn’t think it was possible either,” Dameron said as he brought the _Falcon_ in for a landing. “But then you saved my life and Finn’s life, and really, you saved the entire Resistance.”

“But that doesn’t mean much after everything I’ve done.”

“No, but the way I see it, you’re not entirely to blame for a lot of what you’ve done. You’re like Finn. Raised to fight for the First Order. But you realized it was wrong and you’re doing what you can to make things right. I think you can be a good person, Armitage, if you want to be.”

Hux couldn’t help but smile at that. He’d wanted Dameron and the others to believe that for a long time. At first, it was only so he could gain their trust and then find a way to disappear, but he was actually happy to hear that Dameron thought he could be a good person. 

“Come on,” Dameron said, patting him on the arm. “Looks like we got a greeting party waiting for us.”

Hux followed him off the ship and he couldn’t help but smile when he saw Kylo and Zethis waiting for him. He hadn’t even made it off the ramp when Zethis was running towards him and as soon as he reached him, he threw his arms around him.

“Dad! I’m so glad you’re back!”

“Me too,” Hux said, hugging him. He couldn’t stop smiling - every time Zethis hugged him or called him dad, Hux was elated. It had only been a year that Zethis had been with them and for him to have come so far meant a lot to Hux. To him, it meant that he was doing something right and making sure that Zethis’ past remained in the past.

Hux gave Kylo a quick hug as well after Zethis let go, having become far less self conscious of his relationship with him. Neither of them had mentioned it to anyone else, but they simply didn’t hide it as much. Still, they rarely did more than hug or hold hands while in public. 

“I missed you,” Kylo said.

“I missed you too. At least I have some free time for now. What about the two of you?”

“I have training,” Zethis said. “But it’s with Master Skywalker so at least it’ll be fun.”

“Looks like she might be busy for a while,” Hux said, glancing over to where Skywalker was having her reunion with Dameron. “How about we go grab something to eat before you go?”

Kylo quickly agreed, as did Zethis and they made their way to the mess hall. As they walked, Zethis took hold of Hux’s hand, bringing yet another smile to his face. The boy really was so affectionate and Hux was glad his poor excuse for a father hadn’t had the chance to beat that out of him. It did make Hux wonder what might have happened to him had he managed to escape Brendol when he was younger, but there was no sense dwelling on that now. He’d finally found happiness.

They went and grabbed a quick meal, including a few treats for Zethis, and ate while they filled each other in on things that had been happening. Mostly, that meant listening to Zethis talk about his training, which Hux was more than happy to listen to. Working with the Republic was not terribly exciting.

Soon, Zethis had to go to his training session with Skywalker and once again, Hux couldn’t help but smile, happy to see how confident Zethis was. Being able to train with the other students had really helped with that, as now, Zethis seemed to truly feel like he fit in. It had taken some convincing on Hux’s part, but he’d managed to get Finn to agree to it, saying that he was Zethis’ parent and that he was giving permission.

Hux also suspected Finn didn’t like the idea of Kylo being completely in charge of Zethis’ training, but Hux didn’t really care what the main reason was. He was just happy that Zethis finally had a chance to train with other students. And the other benefit was that it gave him and Kylo some time to themselves.

As soon as they made it back to their quarters, Hux wrapped an arm behind Kylo’s head, finally able to kiss him. It had only been a few days, but it felt like far too long. Even after two years, Hux hated to sleep without Kylo by his side.

“Missed you,” Kylo said, pulling apart for a brief second before he crashed their lips together once again. As usual, their reunion didn’t involve keeping their clothes on for very long.

After they’d had a proper reunion, Hux found himself drifting off as he rested on top of Kylo’s chest, Kylo’s strong arms wrapped around him, keeping him safe. He closed his eyes, happier than he ever could have imagined his life.

It all disappeared suddenly and Hux found himself sitting up in bed, sweaty and heart beating quickly. For one terrible moment, he thought that everything he had with Kylo had been nothing but a dream and that he was once again alone, but Kylo’s familiar hand on his back reassured him. Kylo was there with him. Kylo cared about him. He’d only had a nightmare.

“Hux,” Kylo said, sitting up and wrapping his arms around him and resting his chin on Hux’s shoulder. “Are you all right?”

“I had a nightmare.”

“Hmm.” Kylo slid a hand over Hux’s chest - Hux was always amazed at just how large his hands were or maybe Hux was just small. Kylo’s hand nearly spread all the way across him. “Your heart’s still going fast. Want to talk about it?”

“It was the same as usual,” Hux said, leaning back against Kylo’s comfortable embrace. “Brendol. Pryde. Others. You were there too.”

“I’m sorry,” Kylo whispered, rubbing the side of his face against Hux’s. 

“It’s okay,” Hux said, reaching up to stroke Kylo’s cheek. “It was different this time.”

“Different?”

“Yes.” It was no secret between them that they were both plagued by nightmares and they’d talked about them often. Even the fact that it was often Kylo in Hux’s nightmares hurting him along with the rest. Lately, Kylo hadn’t been there as often, but as Hux thought back to the nightmare he’d just had, that version of Kylo was different. “You weren’t part of the nightmare. You were protecting me.”

“That’s all I want to do,” Kylo said, kissing Hux on the jaw. “I will keep you safe from now on. No one will ever hurt you again.”

“I know.”

It was hard to believe, but somehow Hux had everything he could ever want and it was Kylo Ren that made it all possible. He was safe, he had a place where he belonged and was valued, he had friends and even a family that he loved. And he knew that he was loved as well. It was never how he imagined his life, but Hux wouldn’t want it any other way.

***

Kylo stood back and watched as the four Jedi went through a series of drills with their lightsabers. Although Rey and Finn had been able to instruct their students on building their sabers, they hadn’t done the best job in teaching them to use them. They were both proficient themselves, but neither of them had the amount of combat experience as Kylo.

Rey had asked in the beginning for Kylo to train their students in using lightsabers, and he’d agreed, but because he’d ended up taking care of all of Zethis’ training for the first few months, he really hadn’t had the time to worry about the others. He no longer had that excuse.

At first, he’d been unsure about how the Jedi would react to him, but no one had left the training room when Rey had said he’d be training them, although Kylo could feel that they were afraid. He’d known then that he’d need to be careful that he didn’t push too hard and scare them too much. It wasn’t that he cared what anyone thought about him, but he didn’t want anyone to dislike Zethis by association.

The first group of students, with the exception of Zethis, were already calling themselves Jedi, but Kylo thought they were a pretty sad bunch so far. But they’d only gone through the very basics with Finn and Rey when it came to combat. It was strange training Jedi how to survive a fight after he’d destroyed the last group of them.

One student in particular, a Bothan, reminded him so much of Voe that Kylo had almost walked out of the room once he’d realized it. Just like Voe, she was determined to be the best of the group. Voe hadn’t been able to defend herself against him or the old master of the Knights of Ren. Kylo was determined that this new student would be able to.

“Widen your stance, Lavath,” he told the Bothan. One of many corrections he’d already made. He glanced to the other three and saw they weren’t doing much better. He corrected them but soon gave his full attention to Lavath. She would be the best of this first group of Jedi. Even without his help, she probably already was, but if she ever ran into real trouble, Kylo wanted to make sure she survived.

After a few drills, Kylo had them pair off and spar with each other. As usual, he focused on Lavath, making sure she was doing everything right. Of course, even with instruction, she seemed to struggle as she fought. In the end, she just managed to scrape by with a victory. Had it been a real fight, Kylo wasn’t sure she would have walked away alive.

He dismissed the group after they’d finished and they all left as quick as they could. The students never stopped to talk to him or ask questions like he’d seen them do with Finn and Rey. He was glad because he really didn’t want to talk to them, but at the same time, it reinforced the idea that he really wasn’t one of them. He didn’t belong with the Jedi.

“You’re pushing Lavath hard,” Rey said as she walked into the training room. “Seems like you’re singling her out.”

“Maybe I am.”

“Why? Did she do something in particular or do you just hate her for no reason?”

“I don’t hate her,” Kylo said, shaking his head. Where did Rey get an idea like that? “She’s got the most potential of this group. I’m pushing her so she’ll be better.”

So she’ll survive.

“Why not push them all, then? You’re supposed to be training all of them together.”

“Because…” Kylo tried to think of an excuse, something that didn’t involve bringing up Voe. He couldn’t think of anything.

“And if you really wanted to make sure they’d be well trained, you should probably spar with them yourself. Think of how much they would learn from that.”

“I need a lightsaber.”

“You have one.”

“I need a different one.” That was yet another thing he couldn’t explain to Rey - he couldn’t use his own lightsaber. At least not at the moment. He didn’t even bother to carry it around since he couldn’t bring himself to turn it on. He couldn’t stand how the crystal felt in the Force.

“I can get you another one,” Rey said with a sigh. “If I do, will you please show them how to fight and stop picking on Lavath?”

Kylo nodded, but then really thought about what Rey had said. “I’m not picking on her.”

“That’s what it looks like,” Rey said. “So stop it.”

Rey left and Kylo headed back to his quarters where he found Hux sitting at his desk. As soon as he walked in, Hux looked up from his work and smiled at him, and Kylo couldn’t help but smile too. No matter how bad of a day he had, at least he always had Hux’s smiling face to look forward to. And Hux would never judge him for who he was. Hux had long ago accepted Kylo Ren.

They didn’t need to speak much - they simply undressed each other and made their way to the bed. When Kylo was with Hux, nothing else mattered. It didn’t matter who he had been in the past, it didn’t matter that the Jedi students feared him, it didn’t matter that he could no longer use his lightsaber. The only thing that was important was Hux and that they were together.

It was only after Hux had dozed off next to him that Kylo thought that maybe he could fix one of his problems. The kyber crystal in his lightsaber was nearly useless - anytime he tried to use it, it felt like it was screaming in the Force. Kylo had attempted to heal it, but had been unable to. He’d decided to stop using it.

He called his saber to him, quickly disassembling it and removing the red crystal. Even now, just holding it in his hand, he could feel the pain. That’s how he’d bled it in the first place - using pain and fear and anger. He hadn’t been able to undo the damage but it had been a while since he’d tried. Things felt different now. He was more at peace.

With one hand wrapped around the crystal and one hand on Hux, Kylo let the Force flow through him. He felt the crystal and then he felt Hux. He focused on how much he cared for Hux, how much Hux cared for him. He loved Hux so much, more than anything. He pushed those emotions through the Force and into the crystal.

He thought of Zethis too, and how much he loved the boy. Not just a boy. His son. Kylo loved his son and would protect him from anyone who would do him harm. Just like he would for Hux. His thoughts even strayed to his sister, who didn’t always understand him, but she had learned to accept him. She loved him too and Kylo loved her. Even her boyfriends had learned to accept him.

Kylo had what he’d wanted his entire life. A family who loved him and accepted him for who he was, even in the times he didn’t quite know that himself. But he knew who he was now. He was no Jedi, no Sith. He was just Kylo. And that’s all he needed to be. 

When he pulled back from the Force, he could feel the difference in his crystal and when he opened his hand, he could see the difference as well. It was still cracked, but the color was different. He’d thought it would turn back to blue, like it had been before, but he couldn’t complain about the new color. He quickly reassembled his lightsaber and then returned to Hux’s side.

Everything felt right in the galaxy.

***

If Rey had her way, she’d always go on missions with Finn and Poe. She loved being able to spend as much time with them as possible, but they all had other important duties to attend to. Poe was working with the Republic and Finn was busy training students. At least she had others she could bring on the mission with her so she didn’t have to go alone.

Now that her first group of students were officially Jedi, she could have asked one of them to go with her. But she had known that she was going to space stations known for pirate activity and that it could be very dangerous. She didn’t want to put any of her students in danger. But she knew her brother might enjoy it.

And if there was danger, not only was Kylo the best equipped to face it, but Rey didn’t have to feel too bad. After all, he’d put the entire galaxy in danger. He was different now, that much was obvious in the Force, although it wasn’t as clear for others to see. Kylo still kept to himself and seemed grumpy around others, which was why he didn’t have many friends, but Rey could feel that he was a very different man than the one she had faced on the ruins of the Death Star.

Another reason she didn’t mind bringing him along was because she did want to spend time with him and try to get to know him. Although she usually saw him every day, he always seemed to duck out of conversations and spent all his time with Armitage. Rey was glad the two of them got along, but she still wanted to spend some time with her sibling.

The downside to bringing Kylo was that he had the tendency to find trouble. Or maybe trouble found him. It really didn’t matter how it happened, but now instead of trying to find a new potential student, they were preparing to fight a group of pirates. Rey could sense Kylo’s excitement - he wanted a fight. Rey just wanted to end the situation as quickly as possible.

“We’re not looking for a fight,” Rey said, using the Force to make it a very strong suggestion.

“Shoulda thought of that sooner,” said one of the pirates, a being of a species Rey had never encountered before.

“We’ll be on our way,” Rey said, once again trying to use the Force to influence the leader of the pirates. She grabbed Kylo’s sleeve and started to pull him along, and for a moment, Rey thought it worked and that they were going to get away without any more problems.

They didn’t get far before she sensed danger. Before she could react, Kylo had pulled his arm free and she heard the sound of a lightsaber igniting, shortly followed by the sound of several shots being fired from a blaster. By the time she had turned around, two pirates were dead and the rest were starting to back away.

She didn’t notice until the remaining pirates had gone, but Kylo’s lightsaber was different. Instead of the crimson blade she had fought against so many times, it was now purple. She stared at the blade for several moments until he switched it off and put it back on his belt.

“When did you change your lightsaber?” she asked.

“A few days ago. I healed the crystal.”

“Healed it?” Rey hadn’t known that was even possible. 

“I had to. I couldn’t use it otherwise.”

That didn’t explain anything, although Rey thought that must have been why he’d needed another lightsaber for training. Why he hadn’t just told her that he needed to fix his crystal was a mystery. She could have helped. She still had all the old Jedi texts and maybe there was something there that could have helped.

“How did you do it?” she asked.

“It’s the opposite of bleeding it. Instead of the fear and loneliness. I used the opposite.” Kylo was clearly uncomfortable talking about it, but Rey knew what he meant. To heal the crystal, he had to use the light side of the Force.

Rey couldn’t help the grin that broke out on her face. Despite his bad attitude and willingness to fight, Kylo was able to get in touch with the light side of the Force deeply enough to heal his kyber crystal. She threw her arms around him, happy for him. Better yet, it was something that he had decided to do for himself. He’d wanted to heal his crystal, which meant he must also want to reject the dark side. Maybe he’d never be a Jedi - at least not in name - but Rey knew that her brother had returned to the light.


	30. Chapter 30

Hux wanted nothing more than to get back to his quarters on the _Finalizer_ and lay down with Kylo. He didn’t even need sex. He just wanted to be with him. That wasn’t going to happen however. At least not as soon as Hux would have liked. As soon as he realized the date, he knew he’d end up spending time with Poe and the others.

Ever since Poe had done some research and figured out when his birthday was, he had insisted on celebrating it. That first year had been a surprise, but at least it had been a small group. Just Poe, Finn, and Rey along with Zethis and Kylo. The previous year, Poe had invited a few more people, and if that trend held true, Hux hated to think what his birthday celebration would look like.

As much as he didn’t want to spend time with a bunch of people he hardly knew, Hux couldn’t actually be that mad about it. In fact, it was kind of nice that people would actually celebrate his birthday with him. Hux could handle it once a year, but if Poe started to get out of hand, then he’d have to convince him to limit the guest list.

After he’d finished work - he was now working in maintenance and keeping the _Finalizer_ in top condition - he hoped to sneak back to his quarters to wash up, but of course, Poe had other ideas and was waiting for him just outside the engine room.

“Figured I’d better wait for you so you didn’t try to get out of this,” Poe said with a grin.

“I need to clean up,” Hux said.

“There’s a refresher on the way.” Poe grabbed him by the arm and started pulling him along. As promised, he did give Hux a chance to clean as best he could in the refresher but he didn’t have a change of clothes with him. It wasn’t as if he cared that much about the celebration anyway and he would be getting away as soon as possible, so it didn’t really matter if he showed up in dirty coveralls.

As expected, there were even more people than the previous year, all in the officer’s lounge. Some were other mechanics that Hux occasionally crossed paths with, some former First Order personnel, and some, Hux didn’t even know. At least Kylo was there, as was Zethis.

“Happy birthday dad!” Zethis said, giving him a hug almost as soon as he walked into the room. He’d gotten much taller in the past few years, but he was still very affectionate.

Kylo also gave him a hug and then handed him a drink. Hux was almost tempted to kiss Kylo in front of everyone, but he still couldn’t bring himself to do it. Everyone had to know their relationship was romantic by now, but it still seemed odd to show that in public. So they’d carried on as they always had, saving all their affection for when they were alone.

Hux spent a little time socializing with Mitaka, Lando, Jannah, Finn. Some of the few people who truly seemed to not mind his presence. Many of the others - Rose, the Jedi, the mechanics he hardly knew - were likely only there because Poe had asked them to show up. It was nice Poe cared so much.  
  
“Hey, Hugs!” Poe called out after a while, getting Hux’s attention along with everyone else’s. “I got you a little present.”

Poe walked over to him, and he was quite possibly a little bit drunk. He seemed a bit unsteady on his feet. He held out a datapad to him.

“A datapad,” Hux said as he took it. “How thoughtful.”

“Read it!”

Hux glanced at the screen, read it quickly and then had to read it again. He must have missed something. It couldn’t really be what it seemed like. He sat down and read it a third time, then looked up at Poe.

“Is this real?” He still couldn’t believe it, even though he was sure he hadn’t misread the orders on the datapad.

“What is it?” Kylo stood behind him, reading the datapad over his shoulder.

“Of course it is!” Poe said with a grin. “And it’s a present for us just as much as you!”

“Congratulations,” Kylo mumbled behind him. 

“What about Kylo?” Hux asked, glancing behind him. “Is he being released too?”

“Uh, no,” Poe said, smile fading. “We tried to get rid of both of you, but the Senate was a little concerned that Kylo might manage to vanish if the Jedi aren’t watching him carefully.”

“I see.” Hux glanced at the datapad again, still finding it hard to believe. The Republic was letting him go. They had no more need for his services but they weren’t going to lock him up. Instead, they were sending him to Arkanis where he would be more or less free.

The rest of the night passed in a blur. After five years, Hux finally had what he wanted. He’d be free from the First Order, free from the Republic. But he couldn’t imagine what life would look like without Kylo. When he’d initially come up with his plan of working with the Resistance until he could get away, he hadn’t counted on actually caring for Kylo or having a son.

“I don’t think I should go,” Hux told Kylo when they returned to their quarters. “I can’t leave you alone with Zethis.”

“Of course you can,” Kylo said, wrapping his arms around him. “Zethis spends more time with the Jedi than us now anyway. This is what you wanted, Hux. Don’t give it up.”

“I’m going to miss you,” Hux said.

“Me too. But I’m sure we’ll see each other again. Of course, we should probably make the most of your last few days on the ship.”

Kylo kissed him and Hux agreed with him. They really did need to make the most of their time together Hux couldn’t remember the last time they’d had sex where they clung to each other so much, and Hux couldn’t even get mad at Kylo for it, because he was just as bad. Knowing that he might not see Kylo for months at a time, he wanted to feel as much of him as possible.

Hux made sure that he touched and tasted every part of Kylo, trying to commit his body to memory. He needed to remember what he felt like, what he smelled like. Kylo seemed to be doing the same. Hux had no idea how he would manage without him and when Kylo started to cry, Hux couldn’t help it. He cried too.

He’d spent five years irritated by Kylo, one where he hated him, and five where he’d loved him. Now he was faced with spending the rest of his life with only occasional visits and Hux hated that idea. But at least he had another few days and he was going to spend every moment possible with Kylo.

“I could still change my mind,” Hux said as he packed up what little he owned. Even after five years, there was little that had been his. The Republic had let him borrow whatever he needed, which at least made packing easy. 

“This is what you’ve wanted all along,” Kylo said as he slowly dressed. “You shouldn’t give it up. You’ll finally get away from everyone here.”

“I believe the plan involved both of us leaving together,” Hux said. Initially, Hux had imagined that he’d go off on his own, but it hadn’t taken long before he knew that he would take Kylo with him. But Hux had never imagined he’d be allowed to go free. He’d always imagined that he would run away with Kylo.

“Yeah, well, this is close enough, right?”

“I suppose.” Hux started to pack away his blue cloak that Kylo had gotten for him back when their relationship had first started. Hux hadn’t really thought anything would come of it back then. He thought it was simply stress relief, a symptom of close proximity. He’d never been so wrong, but he was happy that he was. Instead of packing the cloak away, he put it on. He didn’t remember much about Arkanis, but he seemed to remember that it was cold.

Once he had all his things, he walked hand in hand with Kylo down to the hangar. Hux wanted to say something to Kylo, tell him how happy he made him or that he was grateful to have him. But he couldn’t think of the right words and soon, they’d arrived. Zethis was there, waiting with Rey and Poe.

“Dad!” Zethis ran over and hugged him and when he pulled away, Hux could see there were tears in his eyes. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I know, but you’ll come by and visit. And you’ll still have one dad on board the ship.”

“Yeah but I like having both of you.”

“Think of it like a long mission,” Hux said. He gave Zethis another quick hug and kissed the top of his head. “We can always call each other, okay? You’ll still see me all the time.”

“Yeah, I know,” Zethis said with a sad sigh.

“Don’t worry,” Rey said, stepping over to them. “We’ll make sure we visit Arkanis as often as we can. I bet we’ll be there within a month or so.”

“Thank you,” Hux said.

“We better get going,” Poe said.

That was it then. It was time to leave the _Finalizer_ , perhaps for the last time. He took one last look around the hangar, his gaze settling on Kylo. Out of everything, Hux would miss him the most. No longer caring about what anyone would think, Hux gave him a hug and a quick kiss.

“Goodbye, Ren.”

Hux turned and quickly boarded the shuttle, refusing to look back. He was finally free and he should be happy about it.

***

Kylo watched as Hux walked away, telling himself he wouldn’t cry. He knew this day was coming and he knew it wasn’t going to be forever. He would see Hux again. Even if Rey or the others told him he couldn’t go, Kylo knew they had no way to stop him. Kylo tried to think of Hux - he finally had exactly what he wanted and Kylo wanted to be happy for him.

He was happy for him. He really was, but he couldn’t help but be sad for himself. He put an arm around Zethis’ shoulder. He could sense that his son was sad as well, but Zethis would be fine. Kylo wasn’t so sure about himself.

Once the shuttle was gone, Kylo knew he wouldn’t be able to hold himself together much longer. He gave Zethis a hug and left quickly. The last thing he needed was Rey seeing just how badly affected he was by Hux’s departure. She could probably sense it in the Force, but he could come up with an excuse as to why he was so upset. Or just deny it.

All he knew was that he needed to leave and be alone. He’d go to his quarters - and they were only his now - and he could cry for as long as he needed to. He thought it might be a few days before he felt okay. Or maybe he never would. He didn’t want to stay without Hux. He’d been the only reason he’d stayed for as long as he did.

If it hadn’t been for Hux, he’d have left after they’d killed Pryde. He never would have gone back to the Resistance. And now he couldn’t leave because of Zethis. There was no way he could abandon his son - he loved Zethis and he deserved to have at least one parent around. 

“Dad!” Kylo turned around and saw Zethis had poked his head out the door to the hangar. “The shuttle’s coming back!”

“What?” Kylo reached out to Hux in the Force. He was still nearby when they already should have jumped to hyperspace. Kylo could also sense that he was distressed and went running back to the hangar.

“What’s happening?” Kylo demanded of Rey. “Something’s wrong!”

“Poe just said there’s a problem,” Rey said. “Finn’s on his way in case he needs help landing, but maybe you can help.”

They could see the shuttle approaching around the same time Finn came running into the hangar. He seemed to know what was going on as he didn’t ask any questions. As it turned out, Poe didn’t need any help landing as he managed that just fine. Kylo couldn’t tell what was wrong with the shuttle, but he could still feel that Hux was anxious.

“What’s wrong?” Kylo asked, looking at Rey and Finn, but they didn’t have the answers either.

Before he could ask anything else, the ramp was lowering from the shuttle and Hux was running down it. Kylo’s first thought was that maybe the shuttle was on fire, but he didn’t have much time to consider it. Hux ran into Kylo’s arms, grabbing his face and kissing him.

Kylo was shocked, but he couldn’t help but kiss back. He hadn’t thought he’d be able to do that for a long time and when Hux pulled away, Kylo realized Hux was crying. Kylo quickly wiped away his tears and then put his arm back around Hux.

“What’s going on? Why’d you come back?”

“I love you,” Hux said. “I love you, Kylo, and I can’t live without you.”

Kylo was shocked to hear him say those words but soon, Hux’s lips were on him again, pressing himself against him as much as possible. Kylo kept his arms wrapped around Hux, never wanting to let him go.

When Hux pulled away, he rested his cheek against Kylo’s. It was only then that Kylo remembered that they had an audience. Kylo had never been the one who insisted on keeping displays of affection secret and it seemed like Hux no longer cared either. Or maybe he just hadn’t thought about it. But it didn’t matter anymore. Everyone knew now, if they hadn’t before.

Hux remained in Kylo’s arms but he looked over to Poe. “I’d like to join the Republic,” he said. “I don’t care what you want me to do as long as I can stay with Kylo.”

“Uh.”

“Finn,” Hux said, turning his attention from Poe. “Is there any chance I could join the Jedi Order? I’m sure you could use some kind of staff.”

“I guess we can find a place for you,” Finn said. “Is that what you really want? What about your freedom?”

“I don’t care about that,” Hux said, looking back at Kylo. “I just want to be with you.”

“I thought getting away from all this was what you wanted,” Kylo said softly.

“It was. But there’s something more important than that.” Hux kissed Kylo again then finally moved away from him and pulled Zethis into a hug.

Kylo understood exactly what Hux meant. They were a family and they were better off together. Kylo wrapped his arms around both Hux and Zethis, happy that his family was going to stay together. The Force seemed to tell him that everything would be fine.

***

Poe knew that Kylo and Armitage had a romantic relationship, but knowing it and seeing the evidence of it were very different things. It had been especially shocking since they had kept it hidden for what Poe assumed to be years. He’d get the whole story out of Armitage someday, he was certain, but they clearly needed some time to themselves.

“What happened?” Rey asked after Kylo, Armitage, and Zethis had left.

“Armitage sat down in the cockpit with me and asked about how often Zethis would be able to visit and if he could come back to the ship. I really didn’t know but I know most of the other Jedi students visit home every three months or so. And then Armitage just panicked and said that he had to go back. He was crying and everything so I turned us around.”

“I never thought they cared about each other that much,” Finn said.

“They did adopt a child together,” Rey said. “We probably should have seen that. I mean, Zethis clearly has loving parents.”

“I just don’t think I considered either of them capable of that,” Finn said. “I might have been able to forgive them and understand them, but I never really believed they were truly capable of love.”

“I know what you mean,” Poe agreed. He liked Armitage as a friend and didn’t even mind Kylo most of the time, but seeing what had at one time been two of the most evil men in the galaxy so clearly in love had been a shock. He still couldn’t quite believe it. 

“But you know,” Rey said. “It’s a good thing. I think they made each other better people. Somehow. I think that’s why the Force wanted them to run off together. That’s when I first felt something different in the Force between them.”

Poe didn’t know if she was right, but he liked to believe it. No matter what, it was clear that both Kylo and Armitage were better people. They weren’t perfect by any means and certainly hadn’t made up for all the wrongs they had done, but they were doing some good. They were a sign that love could defeat even the worst evil.

***

Zethis had never seen so many people crowded together on the bridge of the _Finalizer_. Then again, he’d never seen a wedding on the bridge before either. Or any wedding at all. It was exciting, though, as he so rarely saw everyone that he cared about together.

Rey, Finn, and Poe were there of course. Rey and Finn were in their Jedi robes, while Poe wore a Republic uniform. Zethis, like the other Jedi present, was also in robes. He was happy to see Lavath there. Besides Kylo, she was the Jedi that Zethis liked the most and he spent a lot of time training with her.

There were a few others he knew as well, such as Lando and Jannah, but there were a few new faces as well. Zethis found himself sitting next to a woman he’d just met, who was apparently his grandmother. Lando had found her on Arkanis and brought her in for the wedding. Zethis hadn’t realized that he’d had such a large family. Armitage apparently hadn’t either, as he’d cried when his mother first arrived on the ship.

Besides his dads and Rey and his two cousins, Zethis was learning all about the family he came from. Zethis had also met his other grandmother, along with his great uncle and great grandfather. They had all joined the Force years before, but they all still showed up for the wedding. Zethis had talked to them as much as possible, excited to know all about his very large family, but they’d all assured him they’d be around after the wedding as well.

Kylo and Armitage stood in front of the group, wearing some of their nicest clothes. Armitage was wearing his favorite blue cloak and Kylo had what almost looked like Jedi robes on. His dark cloak had short sleeves, which revealed textured sleeves underneath. Zethis very rarely saw Kylo wear robes, as he usually favored more casual clothing.

Captain Mitaka stood with them, and although he was speaking, Zethis wasn’t paying attention. Although everyone was sitting calmly, through the Force, Zethis could feel so many emotions and it was distracting. It wasn’t until Mitaka asked for Armitage and Kylo to share their vows that Zethis paid attention to what was being said.

“Kylo Ren,” Armitage said. “I still don’t know how or when I fell in love with you, but everyday, I’m glad I didn’t kill you and gave you this chance. You’re the first person to care about me and to make me feel safe. There’s still days that I hate that you’re the one to do that, but I wouldn’t change a thing about you. Not even that non-regulation hair or the fact that you still can't make a cup of tea properly. I love you, Kylo.”

Kylo grinned, despite what almost sounded like anger in Armitage’s vows - Zethis and anyone else who knew the two of them knew that was a perfectly normal thing for him to say. They often bickered, but there was never any animosity between them. Even in the Force, Zethis could always feel how much they loved each other, even if they were threatening each other.

“Armitage Hux, you’re the one person who’s always known who I am. Even when I didn’t know. You helped me find myself. And I am the happiest man alive knowing that I’ll be with you for all eternity. Because nothing will ever separate us.”

After their vows, they exchanged rings and then Captain Mitaka pronounced them husbands. They kissed, and then Kylo picked Armitage up, and carried him off the bridge, ignoring Armitage’s protests. It was obvious Armitage really didn’t mind, because he put an arm around Kylo’s neck.

Zethis and the other guests followed, heading down to the officer’s lounge where only a few months before, Armitage had his birthday party. It had seemed like Zethis was going to lose Armitage then, and he was so glad that he didn’t. He was so happy that he had such a loving family and he wanted them to be together forever.

Zethis knew that most people didn’t look at Kylo and Armitage like that, but that didn’t matter to him. They had been the ones who saved him and took care of him and fought for him. The terrible deeds of their past were just that - the past. Whoever they had been was not who they were now.

Now, they were husbands and loving parents who helped the Jedi and anyone they came across in need, just like they had helped him. Zethis could not be more proud to be their son.


End file.
